Bought a pony and feel totally out of my comfort zone

I took my eldest son up to the yard and he was lunging her with help from the girls up there.

They adore her at the yard and she might be able to go out tomorrow night! If not, it will definitely be Saturday. I've got to say, this has been the longest two weeks ever!!
 
WanderLust said:
I took my eldest son up to the yard and he was lunging her with help from the girls up there.

They adore her at the yard and she might be able to go out tomorrow night! If not, it will definitely be Saturday. I've got to say, this has been the longest two weeks ever!!
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That's great news. I'm sure she'll love being out and will also calm her down a bit as she can get rid of that excess energy and interact with other horses!

It's a really good sign that people at the yard like her and are willing to work with her. This shows that she is a good pony and just needs time, if she was a nightmare to work and ride i don't think the yard would be as inclined to help :D
 
Amye said:
That's great news. I'm sure she'll love being out and will also calm her down a bit as she can get rid of that excess energy and interact with other horses!

It's a really good sign that people at the yard like her and are willing to work with her. This shows that she is a good pony and just needs time, if she was a nightmare to work and ride i don't think the yard would be as inclined to help :D
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Today's the day!! Think I'll let one of the girls take her to the field as she's bound to be too excited!
 
She had a couple of lessons today and was good as gold, then she was turned out for the first time. There was plenty of squealing, biting, kicking etc and then she was grazing quite happily. Still feel all churned up though!
 
WanderLust said:
She had a couple of lessons today and was good as gold, then she was turned out for the first time. There was plenty of squealing, biting, kicking etc and then she was grazing quite happily. Still feel all churned up though!
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Is she on working livery? I'd be wary of them doing too much or she could end up fitter than you want her to be :)

Sounds like she had a good day bless her.
 
Mince Pie said:
Is she on working livery? I'd be wary of them doing too much or she could end up fitter than you want her to be :)

Sounds like she had a good day bless her.
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Yes, I've put her on WL for the time being. My son wants to get back on the RS pony he was learning on previously. In fact, his instructor asked me how he was and I said it had knocked the confidence out of him and she replied 'I'm not surprised!'

Watching her in her lesson (she had one of the helpers on her) I could see her getting a bit excited at first, but the girl is an experienced rider so she handled her well. It was a more advanced group lesson and she did really well.

Things are working out very differently to how I thought they would, but watching her being ridden well makes me feel so much better and knowing that my son wants to ride again is a relief.

Still feel guilty about it all though.
 
WanderLust said:
Things are working out very differently to how I thought they would
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Welcome to horses :D They have an excellent ability to chuck a spanner in the works!

watching her being ridden well makes me feel so much better and knowing that my son wants to ride again is a relief.
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I'm glad, the first fall is always the worst - they get easier after that!
 
Hiya. I went to see her earlier and she was good as gold in her stable, no bite or kick marks. The girl who brought her in from the field said she was fantastic, no running off etc.

So, I went into her stable and gave her a cuddle and a fuss. I planned on tying her up in her stable to groom her as normal, but I had her head collar in my hand outside the door and I couldn't go back in! I was stood watching her over the stable door and I was shaking and just felt so nervous. My heart was beating really fast and I was having a mini asthma attack! I do have asthma and it's been a bit bad recently anyway. I was stood there so long a lady across the way suggested I took her out for a wander around the yard, but I just couldn't do it.

Eventually I just gave her a tail scratch and left. What is wrong with me?! I'm so angry with myself.
 
Take it in steps. You're not: Going to go out for a wander. First thing you're going to do is give her a polo over the door. Then you're going to undo the stable door. Then you're going to walk in and give her another polo. Then you're going to put the leadrope over her neck etc etc.

Don't focus on the end goal just go with the little ones! I used to have horrible panic attacks before starting XC but I told myself the first step was walking into the start box, then it was to walk round the start box and talk to the starter, then it was to canter out the box, then at this point I was fine and just cracked on!
 
rotters13 said:
Take it in steps. You're not: Going to go out for a wander. First thing you're going to do is give her a polo over the door. Then you're going to undo the stable door. Then you're going to walk in and give her another polo. Then you're going to put the leadrope over her neck etc etc.

Don't focus on the end goal just go with the little ones! I used to have horrible panic attacks before starting XC but I told myself the first step was walking into the start box, then it was to walk round the start box and talk to the starter, then it was to canter out the box, then at this point I was fine and just cracked on!
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Thank you rotters. I will try this when I go tomorrow. Not putting too much pressure on myself is something I need to work on.
 
if you lunge your pony every day it will help her greatly, what a load of idiots the yard must be to keep in all the time knowing you are a first time owner, to lock up the pony is a recipe for disaster, also after lunging take her for a long walk round, if not riding her.

i lunge all my horses before riding, if only for a few minutes, it helps them to loosen up and gives me a chance to see what mood they are in, a kind of opening the conversation time

you are in a situation and place which is not your own environment, control is taken away from you, get it out of the stable spend time with it and you will gain confidence from getting to know her.
 
I went up today and the girls helped me groom her and then wash her down after her lesson, then I turned her out with some of the others. I had a little pootle round on her. Anxiety levels were high, but I did it.
I let them know how anxious I am and they assured me they will help me and I'm not on my own.
Feel much better today :)
 
Oh, one thing that bothered me. I tied her up outside to groom her and she threw her front leg out at me and caught my leg with her hoof. She got a slap on the shoulder from the girl who was helping me and she didn't do it again. She was pawing the ground afterwards though.

Should I be very concerned about it?
 
tristar said:
what a load of idiots the yard must be to keep in all the time knowing you are a first time owner, to lock up the pony is a recipe for disaster
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Pony was on quarantine, which I actually find very responsible rather than idiotic :)

Some horses do paw the ground WL, blooming annoying but what the girl helping you did is the right way to go if she does more then that. Perhaps a sharp OI would work as well. I still think she'll need time to settle down, she's in a new home with new people and locked in for a fortnight she's bound to still be a bit on edge. Just persevere with getting to know her and getting her trust, might take a little while but I'm sure you'll get there :)
 
Mince Pie said:
Pony was on quarantine, which I actually find very responsible rather than idiotic :)

Some horses do paw the ground WL, blooming annoying but what the girl helping you did is the right way to go if she does more then that. Perhaps a sharp OI would work as well. I still think she'll need time to settle down, she's in a new home with new people and locked in for a fortnight she's bound to still be a bit on edge. Just persevere with getting to know her and getting her trust, might take a little while but I'm sure you'll get there :)
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Thank you Mince Pie. That puts my mind at rest. I'll carry on doing what I'm doing.
 
I can hardly say I am surprised you had initial problems. Your pony has gone from a routine of going out everyday and stretching and running around to then being shut up inside for 2 weeks. I wouldn't, however, blame the pony for your kid falling off or use it as an excuse for not doing anything with the horse from that point on. Any horse can spook at something while on a hack even the most 100% boomproof ponies. I would always say that a kid should have someone leading or walking side them while hacking unless they are super experienced riders. The pony has been moved to a new yard so everything is new and then being hacked out in a new area. I would recommend walking the pony in hand round a few routes so it can become familiar with the new area. Daily turnout is also vital for these cob type of horses - I also don't think the pony is overweight from your photos so make sure you aren't starving her by not giving her any hard feed if that is what she is used to having.
The more you are being anxious and worried about your pony the more the pony is going to start thinking there is something to worry about and then you will have problems. I don't mean to sound harsh but you need to get on with it and stop getting the girls at the yard to help you. If you want to brush her off then you need to go in her stable and brush her off. I also wouldn't be giving the pony polos and treats all the time as that will encourage nipping which will give you something else to worry about.
If she is unfit, then doing something 5/6 times a week is important. But don't over do it. A 20 minute lunge or a walk in hand, or being led round the block would build her fitness and get her stretched and into a routine. All ponies/horses like a routine! Also make sure that she isn't being over worked being ridden lesson after lesson if on working livery as that is bound to annoy the pony eventually!
Regarding being ridden by you or your kid. Riding a horse is what builds a bond so even if you or your kid just walks round the school a few times being led it will help you both and will build the bond with the pony.
Failing that, if the pony really is too much for you and your son, contact the previous owners again. If you have bought your first pony you want to spend all the time you have with it rather than random people attending the yard for lessons.
 
Whilst I agree with the majority of what Merrylegs is saying, I can totally sympathise with your nerves and anxiety, and sometimes you just need people to help you for a week or two before you go it alone. I wouldn't groom her in the stable at all for the moment, but tie her up outside. That way you will be less nervous and she won't pick up on your nerves. I can imagine you're overthinking the fact she kicked out, I know I would be. Us older first time owners don't deal with things in the same way as those of us who've had horses most of their lives or been exposed from a young age. I do think your pony has had a lot thrown at her in a short space of time and also maybe she's better one on one? I thought about working livery when I first got my mare, but actually I decided I needed to bond with her so we could build up trust. I didn't actually ever put her in working livery after that! However, you must do what's right for you. From what you say, you are possibly being a bit timid around her. If you're nervous riding or leading her, try and recite something in your head. I do it when I'm leading my two year old, I say to myself, confident confident confident! The worst thing you can do is to almost back off if you're doing something, they then think it's something to be scared of. Its really hard to do. I don't think people who aren't nervous understand how hard it is, but equally sometimes you just have to be brave! Good luck.

Oh and for the moment, perhaps wear a hat at all times when you're handling/leading her in hand. If it makes you feel even better wear a body protector. I wear mine when I'm handling my youngster just to give me a bit of extra confidence.

I also think, as everyone's said, that groundwork is the key. I wouldn't rush riding her. She needs time to settle and get to know you by the sound of it.
 
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I didn't get my first horse until I was older, I then fell off twice within the first week of owning him. I lost my confidence and went through a similar thing where I ended up having other people looking after him as I got nervous. He picked up on my nerves and became scared of me. It then took a very long time for him to gain confidence and trust in me once I got over my nerves and falls.
*Please do not let that happen to you* Getting a horse is a very exciting thing and you need to try to bond with your horse before your pony becomes nervous of you as currently its only experience of you is when you are nervous and anxious. Bonding happens through grooming, spending time together, walking in hand and riding. I would say though to tie your pony up inside its stable rather than outside. Outside is a big open space whereas the stable is a safe space so the pony will be more likely to be relaxed, which will make you relax and therefore both enjoy the grooming experience.
 
Merrylegs9322 said:
I didn't get my first horse until I was older, I then fell off twice within the first week of owning him. I lost my confidence and went through a similar thing where I ended up having other people looking after him as I got nervous. He picked up on my nerves and became scared of me. It then took a very long time for him to gain confidence and trust in me once I got over my nerves and falls.
*Please do not let that happen to you* Getting a horse is a very exciting thing and you need to try to bond with your horse before your pony becomes nervous of you as currently its only experience of you is when you are nervous and anxious. Bonding happens through grooming, spending time together, walking in hand and riding. I would say though to tie your pony up inside its stable rather than outside. Outside is a big open space whereas the stable is a safe space so the pony will be more likely to be relaxed, which will make you relax and therefore both enjoy the grooming experience.
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Fair enough, I was 40, I have no idea how old you were however I most certainly agree with you about tbe nerves thing! But I also don't agree with the whole 'just get on with it' Which seems to be so prevalent in the horse world. Because of that, I ended up with a broken horse and a broken me! Yes you have to be brave but also i believe in taking small steps to build up slowly.

Re the whole out/in stable thing, if the horse is on a secure yard, I personally would tie it up outside. I talk from experience as my mare was incredibly grumpy when I first got her. Now, 7 years later, things are quite different.

However, I think there are so many different opinions on what to do in the horse world and so many of us believe we are right. Whatever you do, I hope, OP, that you can start to build a bond with your pony soon and that you and your son grow in confidence. If someone had said to me, seven years ago, I'd be on my own private yard, looking after two horses without any input (unless I text someone), I'd have thought they were insane!!
 
Esme2015 said:
Fair enough, I was 40, I have no idea how old you were however I most certainly agree with you about tbe nerves thing! But I also don't agree with the whole 'just get on with it' Which seems to be so prevalent in the horse world. Because of that, I ended up with a broken horse and a broken me! Yes you have to be brave but also i believe in taking small steps to build up slowly.

Re the whole out/in stable thing, if the horse is on a secure yard, I personally would tie it up outside. I talk from experience as my mare was incredibly grumpy when I first got her. Now, 7 years later, things are quite different.

However, I think there are so many different opinions on what to do in the horse world and so many of us believe we are right. Whatever you do, I hope, OP, that you can start to build a bond with your pony soon and that you and your son grow in confidence. If someone had said to me, seven years ago, I'd be on my own private yard, looking after two horses without any input (unless I text someone), I'd have thought they were insane!!
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This is how I want to be! I'm hoping that it will all click eventually. I'm trying my best because I really want it to work out. :)
 
Mince Pie said:
Any updates?
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Hi Mince Pie!

Sorry for just disappearing. I was so overwhelmed by everything I had to take a step back. So, eventually I decided to gift the pony to the school. I tried my best to persevere, but I wasn't doing myself any favours or the poor pony. My son never went back to riding, it was just too risky for him. I have tried to gently convince him to get back in the saddle, but he is having none of it!

After a year off from riding I have recently started having lessons again and I am really enjoying it. I have definitely learned some lessons! Don't rush into things being one of them. I love horses and I love riding but I need to gain a LOT more experience and confidence before even considering loaning or buying a pony!

Again, sorry for just going AWOL and not responding sooner after everybody was so lovely and supportive
 
Ahhh I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out! She did sound like a lovely pony.

Glad you're back riding and enjoying it though. You never know, if you carry on enjoying it your son might decide he wants to join you again one day!

There will be a time for another pony I'm sure :) Perhaps a part loan would be best at first for confidence! But for now just spend time enjoying ponies! That's what it's all about after all :D
 
Merrylegs9322 said:
Do you still see the pony? Or know how she is getting on?
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Hi Merrylegs. I haven't seen her, but I've just been turning up for my lesson and then going home, but I know she's doing well. I don't ride her as she's a bit small for me. Also, she's been out in the field when I've been there. I will see her at some point though I hope.
 
Amye said:
Ahhh I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out! She did sound like a lovely pony.

Glad you're back riding and enjoying it though. You never know, if you carry on enjoying it your son might decide he wants to join you again one day!

There will be a time for another pony I'm sure :) Perhaps a part loan would be best at first for confidence! But for now just spend time enjoying ponies! That's what it's all about after all :D
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Hi Amye, I know, she's great, but it just went wrong and then couldn't be rectified.

I would love for my son to get back into it and was thinking the same thing, that he might see me enjoying it and be tempted back.

I've decided to keep going for lessons for now and if I want to take the plunge again I will definitely loan first.

Thank you ��
 
I think it would be a really good idea for you in terms of moving forward, over coming a hurdle etc. if maybe you asked the riding school if you can bring her in from the field with someone of course and brush her off and maybe ask to have a lesson on her. Even if the lesson is on the lead rein and you just walk and trot I think it would be a real confidence boost and you'll be able to put the experience behind you and move on. And you may even find that you still love her as much as you did when you went to view her initially and could have regular lessons on her.
If you felt she was safe and sensible enough when you first saw her for your son to be able to ride her then she must be a real sweet pony and was probably very unsettled and insecure when you got her. Going from one environment and routine to another can be really distressing for some horses and it can take them a while to trust and settle. Especially if they have gone from a quiet, one on one yard to a bigger place with lots of people.
 
Merrylegs9322 said:
I think it would be a really good idea for you in terms of moving forward, over coming a hurdle etc. if maybe you asked the riding school if you can bring her in from the field with someone of course and brush her off and maybe ask to have a lesson on her. Even if the lesson is on the lead rein and you just walk and trot I think it would be a real confidence boost and you'll be able to put the experience behind you and move on. And you may even find that you still love her as much as you did when you went to view her initially and could have regular lessons on her.
If you felt she was safe and sensible enough when you first saw her for your son to be able to ride her then she must be a real sweet pony and was probably very unsettled and insecure when you got her. Going from one environment and routine to another can be really distressing for some horses and it can take them a while to trust and settle. Especially if they have gone from a quiet, one on one yard to a bigger place with lots of people.
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Thank you Merrylegs

That is something I am open to and I will probably discuss it with the owner of the yard at some point. She is lovely.

You're right, it must have been very overwhelming and stressful for her when she moved yards and I was not putting her at ease, which made me feel extremely guilty and like a massive failure! It sounds dramatic, but it was something I had dreamed about since I was a little girl, so I didn't factor in any issues. I think I had my rose tinted glasses on.

It's been lovely to go back and get back in the saddle because my confidence took a massive knock. I'm excited now for the future and I am just going to take things very slowly.

Thank you for being so supportive :)
 
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