Bought unseen problems returning

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Jasmine2023 said:
The riding school is very small and quiet and the lessons are taken by the owners. There are 2 larger riding stables nearby but this one is nice and quiet.

It is hard to like a horse that pulls faces and pins his ears back whenever he sees you and tries to pin you next to the stable wall when you go in. You can all be as judgemental as you like. I was expecting to be out hacking in the nice weather not in a situation where I am more depressed. I haven't the energy for all this. I hope none of you ever have to feel the way I am right now with no support around me.
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Hang on we've all tried to support you, people have offered to come and help you and via this thread have found out your horse's history that should be REASSURING but no, your still finding the negatives in it and is all.
Several times you have left out information several times you have ignored questions. So you have to understand people getting a bit miffed. You can't just deflect onto the horse/dealer/auction /mental health as a get away from the fact that you bought un seen untried and expected a safe nice looking schoolmaster for pennies. And didn't quite get that.

Izzy is a living creature he is your problem and to a degree you do need to man up. If nothing else go and muck out and poo pick and just get to know him. And yes I've seen your physical issues but if you can ride you can push a barrow around in the sun at your leisure and take care of Ozzy ( or Izzy as my phone keeps calling him )

Or sell him for what you paid and stick to riding lessons so you get the enjoyment of the horses whilst having no responsibility towards them.
 
skinnydipper said:
Do you think it is possible that he is picking up vibes off you? I don't know anything about horses but dogs can sense when people don't like them, maybe horses are the same?

Talking of support. Can you clear a bit of space in your head for him and try to think how he must be feeling?
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Horses will 100% pick up vibes. Hell, my horse knows what mood I'm in before I do and probably before I even arrive at the yard 🤣
 
HaffiesRock said:
OP, you know this now but you shouldn't have bought a horse without experience and confidence. You said the YO was your support? now this isnt the case? What about the 100s of posters on here, many have offered to come and help you in person.

I don't know what else you want from this thread?
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And I am grateful for them. But the YO won't like people on the yard giving advice they think they can give.
CanteringCarrot said:
OP, you are very fortunate to have this much history on a horse that you bought from a questionable dealer. I'd be thanking those that dug around and found that info. So many people don't get or can't find history on their horses.

In addition to that, being out hacking straight away on a new horse, is a very high expectation.

Also, this horse doesn't know you. Not all horses are friendly right off the bat. You've got to forge a relationship of sorts with them. Some might be in your pocket instantly, but they're not all like that, and that's ok. Baby steps.

I've bought unseen before, and that horse spent the first 3 days running away from me in the field so I couldn't catch him. He also refused to let me or anyone mount him, but you know what...in the end that horse was my horse of a lifetime. We learned so much from one another and he was rock solid on what I wanted him to be, but it took time. I get that you don't want to or can't put it the time and effort, so please find this horse an appropriate home if it's not with you.

There are people on here that are being extremely supportive and most of us here have years of experience and might've been in a similar situation before. So it's worth taking on board some of the words of wisdom.

Horses come with their ups and downs (mentally and financially, really). They also don't owe it to us to live up to unrealistic expectations.
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I only found out his history yesterday I didn't have any of that when he arrived and was not as described. I am grateful that people cared enough to look for him.
 
Jasmine2023 said:
He seems better out of the stable. But he does scare me in the stable.
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So, limit the time spent in the stable for now. He may well improve, but there's no need for anyone to be in the stable for any length of time with him right now.

Some horses are actually crying out for someone to be assertive with them. Our bargy cob was like that. You could certainly get help with this, it's pretty common.
 
jhoward said:
Hang on we've all tried to support you, people have offered to come and help you and via this thread have found out your horse's history that should be REASSURING but no, your still finding the negatives in it and is all.
Several times you have left out information several times you have ignored questions. So you have to understand people getting a bit miffed. You can't just deflect onto the horse/dealer/auction /mental health as a get away from the fact that you bought un seen untried and expected a safe nice looking schoolmaster for pennies. And didn't quite get that.

Izzy is a living creature he is your problem and to a degree you do need to man up. If nothing else go and muck out and poo pick and just get to know him. And yes I've seen your physical issues but if you can ride you can push a barrow around in the sun at your leisure and take care of Ozzy ( or Izzy as my phone keeps calling him )

Or sell him for what you paid and stick to riding lessons so you get the enjoyment of the horses whilst having no responsibility towards them.
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I said I don't have support around me not on here.
 
I’m sorry that things are still not going well. Was really hoping that with what has been unearthed about his past life appearing to indicate he was a sweet boy under all the stressiness today would have gone a bit more positively.

If this thread had existed a few months in the future (ie after I’d had current horse with a lot of physical issues PTS) I may have been interested in taking a look at him if you were to decide to sell as I’m not a million miles from Bradford and when I do start looking I won’t be looking for something to set the world on fire, just a companion in the kind of mad adventures I seem to have. Sadly I just do not have the funds to support 2 at the same time (or indeed a spare 5k kicking around that isn’t tied up in saddles that I need to sell!) as the livery I’m on is on the pricey side.

Obviously how you proceed is entirely up to you.

Trying to wangle a refund from the dealer is probably your most stressful and least likely to be fruitful option and if you just don’t think he’s a horse you’re ever going to get on with you really probably would have more luck and less stress / more chance of seeing some of your money again selling him on yourself. I know that’s not fair or how things “should” be but sadly so are a lot of things in this world.

Having seen a bit more of his history I really do think you’ve probably got a good ‘un who’s just a bit overwhelmed by life right now but only you know what you are / aren’t happy to work with.
 
Jasmine2023 said:
I hope none of you ever have to feel the way I am right now with no support around me.
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Err , you have had offers of help from people on this thread, people have sympathised with you, advised you . Have you actually asked the YO whether you could have 'a friend' to come and help. I think the yard is not suitable for you or him.
 
jhoward said:
Hang on we've all tried to support you, people have offered to come and help you and via this thread have found out your horse's history that should be REASSURING but no, your still finding the negatives in it and is all.
Several times you have left out information several times you have ignored questions. So you have to understand people getting a bit miffed. You can't just deflect onto the horse/dealer/auction /mental health as a get away from the fact that you bought un seen untried and expected a safe nice looking schoolmaster for pennies. And didn't quite get that.

Izzy is a living creature he is your problem and to a degree you do need to man up. If nothing else go and muck out and poo pick and just get to know him. And yes I've seen your physical issues but if you can ride you can push a barrow around in the sun at your leisure and take care of Ozzy ( or Izzy as my phone keeps calling him )

Or sell him for what you paid and stick to riding lessons so you get the enjoyment of the horses whilst having no responsibility towards them.
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I can ride but I can't do any heavy work or lifting.

Jenko109 said:
Have you even asked?
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Yes.
 
jhoward said:
Hang on we've all tried to support you, people have offered to come and help you and via this thread have found out your horse's history that should be REASSURING but no, your still finding the negatives in it and is all.
Several times you have left out information several times you have ignored questions. So you have to understand people getting a bit miffed. You can't just deflect onto the horse/dealer/auction /mental health as a get away from the fact that you bought un seen untried and expected a safe nice looking schoolmaster for pennies. And didn't quite get that.

Izzy is a living creature he is your problem and to a degree you do need to man up. If nothing else go and muck out and poo pick and just get to know him. And yes I've seen your physical issues but if you can ride you can push a barrow around in the sun at your leisure and take care of Ozzy ( or Izzy as my phone keeps calling him )

Or sell him for what you paid and stick to riding lessons so you get the enjoyment of the horses whilst having no responsibility towards them.
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I owe you an apology, @jhoward. I misunderstood your previous post about Ozzy that I replied to.
 
Jenko109 said:
So your yard owner told you that you're not allowed to have a friend come to the yard to help you with your new pony?

I just don't believe you. Sorry.

I think you're finding any excuse to not try and make things work with Ozzie.

I'm out.
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I am a lier now as well then.
 
Jasmine2023 said:
And I am grateful for them. But the YO won't like people on the yard giving advice they think they can give.

I only found out his history yesterday I didn't have any of that when he arrived and was not as described. I am grateful that people cared enough to look for him.
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Maybe your on the wrong yard? Have you messaged the previous owner? She may be able to give you even more info on him that will help you. That's a better bet than arguing with dealers till 11pm. Either way you need to do something as you can't sell him without going near him. Your name would be questioned on dodgy dealers before you knew it. Unless they seen this thread obviously.
 
Jenko109 said:
So your yard owner told you that you're not allowed to have a friend come to the yard to help you with your new pony?

I just don't believe you. Sorry.
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It might be true, but it's really poor form from the YO if so.
The YO must know your current predicament and should surely be wanting things to work out? I don't know what they've done so far but it's not worked and you yourself have said that you don't have any support around you.
If I wanted to work with a horse and needed specialist help that a YO wouldn't allow, I would definitely move yards. But I do think that you've made your mind up about Ozzy so I can't see a way forward other than selling him on.
 
skinnydipper said:
Do you think it is possible that he is picking up vibes off you? I don't know anything about horses but dogs can sense when people don't like them, maybe horses are the same?

Talking of support. Can you clear a bit of space in your head for him and try to think how he must be feeling?
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totally and absolutely they feed of people. Just as much as dogs. I ride with OH and I just have to look at his horse to see how he is that day. Horses tell you everything. I would imagine this is part of the problem here. Ozzie may be happy out with other horses but he is not getting anything from people. That is the only reason I can think of as to why he may be difficult. If he was a new horse, (not with his feed in) and pinned his ears back I would probably go in and in "baby tones" ask him why he was being such a silly boy, did he really want to kick me and start to scratch him. That way we would make a connection. I wouldn't be stupid and would look for the signs he could kick but if I was confident it is very likely he would be as well. Then perhaps scratch him until he responded and started to groom me, rub his face. If you are confident they are happy. They want a confident leader. He would start to look forward to my visits. Whilst I am not advocating anyone gives treats if it was safe I would give him something so after a couple more visits I would be his new favourite person. It really isn't rocket science.
Then when we put a headcollar on and went out of the stable I would be his leader and he would be with me and he would feel safe.
 
Jasmine2023 said:
He seems better out of the stable. But he does scare me in the stable.
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Then for now, don't do anything with him in the stable, just take him out and wander about showing him round, let him have a snack just do things that you're both comfortable with to start with. Just do things that he will see as good thing like snacking on a tasty patch of grass so he comes to associate being with you as a good thing at the moment you're an stranger to him. Just always stack things in your favour before you even start so you set yourself up to succeed in every interaction you have with him.
 
Just caught up with the thread.
All I can say is you have an absolute treasure trove of lovely people on here with a wealth of information and from all walks of life.
Please listen to what people say.
And yes quite a lot of people on here have been at rock bottom and inspired us as they climbed back up.
There are so many fingers crossed for you and personally I'm a little bit jealous of you and the possibilities lined up in front of you.
Don't bite the hand that feeds you
 
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I think that the majority of responses on here have been really supportive and helpful. Several people have even kindly offered to help you in person.

Him pinning his ears and swinging into you could be resource guarding his hay (does he have enough forage for the amount of time he's being stabled?), could be that he has ulcers/upset stomach from the stress of the move, could just be that he is being defensive because he's scared. He could also be pissed off for being kept in too much - how many hours of turnout is he getting? He has been moved between 3 homes (original owner, dealer, you) within a very short space of time, so is understandably stressed.

I'm going to be honest - I think you have an unrealistic, rose-tinted idea of what horse ownership should be like. When I got my last horse, I let them settle for a month before getting on them for the first time. We just bonded on the ground and got to know each other for at least 4 weeks. You should view riding as something you earn from building a partnership, not something to take for granted.

I'm reading between the lines here, but if your prior experience is of just riding school horses, you may have been around a lot of shut down and institutionalised animals. I think Ozzy's behaviour sounds reasonable considering what he has been through.

To be blunt, unless you are willing to put the time in to work with him, I don't think you should own a horse. They are a massive commitment of time and energy and you have to be willing to stick it out through the good and the bad, because there will be lows as well as highs. Even if you had a budget of 20k and bought a horse who is perfect on paper, you are still uprooting that animal from all they know. You can't expect a living animal to behave like a robot.

I genuinely sympathise with your mental health struggles, but you need to step up for the animal you own now and do right by him. If you think you have made a mistake in buying him, I'm sure the right person is out there and that you would be able to get the majority of your money back by selling him on.

ETA: Why won't yard owner let other people onto the yard to help you? That sounds like a giant red flag.
 
CanteringCarrot said:
I always buy young horses, so I feel like I'm always off to an "interesting" start with mine and wondering if I have the mental resiliency to bring along another young horse. I generally persevere, whine (and wine), and question my existence. 🤣
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I do that. Spend most of the time wondering what the hell I was thinking of at my age, and wondering if I'm actually going to like riding the bloody thing after all! 🤣
 
paddy555 said:
I was wondering yesterday about the school hols :)
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Let's not throw that into the mix. It's really unfair.

I'm sure your YO would allow a 'friend' to come to the yard with you.

But for now it's up to you to decide whether you're prepared to put the work in to this super (and green) little horse.

Having seen his history I agree with others that he seems like a Poppit and a possible diamond in the rough. You haven't described anything that would give many any concerns. But if you haven't got the experience, time or energy then that's fair enough.

You never know, someone on here might like to buy him..... I know if I was looking I'd probably bite your hand off.
 
I think the videos from the previous owner show Ozzy can be a lovely little horse. Look at him cantering across that huge field and walking out on his hacks. It sounds like he is now stabled at night, he may be used to living out 24/7, if so, that will be a huge shock for him. He has had a traumatic few weeks, he needs time to settle and I'm sure he would appreciate his own human, once he has learnt to trust them.

Going after the dealer will not get you anywhere, the videos show Ozzy has the potential to be as the dealer described. Yes, the law states he should take him back and refund your money but that won't happen. Perhaps just try to stop other people landing up in your situation, advise them to try the horse in person, get it vetted before paying for it, avoid the dodgy dealers.

I'm a similar age to you and have been riding for over 50 years, have had a horse or pony since I was 12 (except for one year at 15), I don't think there is a horse in the world that I could just get on and hack without knowing it first, I am not a brave rider but the videos of Ozzy show nothing that would make me not want to get on, he really looks a sweetheart. I have also suffered with varying degrees of depression since I was 15 and it has been the animals, horses and dogs, that have made me get out of bed in the mornings on many occasions.

I'm not sure the yard you are on sounds the best place for you and Ozzy, but you possibly have your reasons for staying there. With the right help I'm sure Ozzy could come right for you, but I understand if you feel he is not for you. I hope you can find him a loving home.
 
Not my decision of course but think you’ve reached the point of selling with full disclosure. You can then decide if you want to buy another horse with the remaining finances or continue to enjoy riding at a riding school.
 
Im sorry things are not going well. It seems that even with finding more of Ozzys history and being offered help you still do not feel happy with him.
I understand you have mental health issues and physical problems.
Im going to be blunt here. I do not think you are up to having your own horse. Stick to the odd lesson. Find poor Ozzy a home with someone who will love and appreciate him.
You have been give a lot of advice and offered help I am not sure what else anyone can do.
Maybe look in to having lessons on a mechanical horse that wont pin its ears at you.
 
Jasmine2023 said:
The riding school is very small and quiet and the lessons are taken by the owners. There are 2 larger riding stables nearby but this one is nice and quiet.

It is hard to like a horse that pulls faces and pins his ears back whenever he sees you and tries to pin you next to the stable wall when you go in. You can all be as judgemental as you like. I was expecting to be out hacking in the nice weather not in a situation where I am more depressed. I haven't the energy for all this. I hope none of you ever have to feel the way I am right now with no support around me.
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I'm sorry you are so low about this. I would say many of us have been in a similar place to you - feeling fragile, unsupported and facing shattered hopes and dreams. I think many of us do understand and are trying to help with practical advice that is literally priceless. There is a huge range of expertise and support available on this forum - I hope things start feeling better for you soon, whatever you decide. And as for Ozzy, please don't take his behavior personally - he doesn't know you so cannot trust you.
 
Jasmine2023 said:
I said I don't have support around me not on here.
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a couple of people at least have offered to help and support you. One is very experienced. Most people when they get a new horse excitedly take their friends and family to see the horse. Your YO really runs things with such an iron fist you cannot take an HHO friend to visit him? Who knows you might gain a friend IRL.

You say he scares you in the stable. So what are you going to do about it? Many people would get scared but then they learn, acquire more skills and are not scared. I suspect you cannot read horses very well. If you take a friend with you (either of the ones on here who have offered) they will be able to point out what Ozzie is telling you and how to deal with it. So you will be able to go in the stable and deal with him and not be scared. You (one) has to learn with horses. You don't progress without learning and dealing with different horses.
 
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