Brief Lesson Report...A Thread

[SaddlePsych'D]

I have only really scanned the last couple of pages, but I saw twice you said 'my instructor was at a loss with me'

That sounds to me like a change of instructor could be worth a try? Ask for some recommendations in your area for an instructor who has a really good reputation with nervous riders.

It's two different instructors as well I certainly hope I'm not a hopeless case! There is a very small RS I have booked a lesson with in a few weeks' time. The instructor I think specialises in rider confidence and the horses are all schoolmasters for a range of abilities, so I hope I'm on to the right sort of thing.

Ending this share feels hard and I feel so sad about it. Tried again in school today with OH lead reining me, that was fine and if anything a bit boring but the thought of not being on lead rein was overwhelming. I got off, had a cry and share horse rested his head against me which was very sweet but made me cry a bit more because I really do like him!

 

[j1ffy]

It's two different instructors as well I certainly hope I'm not a hopeless case! There is a very small RS I have booked a lesson with in a few weeks' time. The instructor I think specialises in rider confidence and the horses are all schoolmasters for a range of abilities, so I hope I'm on to the right sort of thing.

Ending this share feels hard and I feel so sad about it. Tried again in school today with OH lead reining me, that was fine and if anything a bit boring but the thought of not being on lead rein was overwhelming. I got off, had a cry and share horse rested his head against me which was very sweet but made me cry a bit more because I really do like him!

You mentioned further up the thread that the yard facilities are good but there is often an atmosphere. That's a very unpleasant position to be in, particularly when you have stuff going on outside the horse world that is stressful. It wouldn't surprise me if the atmosphere is contributing to your nerves and you may find it better once you're riding elsewhere.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

You mentioned further up the thread that the yard facilities are good but there is often an atmosphere. That's a very unpleasant position to be in, particularly when you have stuff going on outside the horse world that is stressful. It wouldn't surprise me if the atmosphere is contributing to your nerves and you may find it better once you're riding elsewhere.

It was certainly striking when I went last week for a non-riding day and wasn't feeling that much more relaxed about going even with riding taken out of the equation. Ideally I'd like to shove all that out of my mind and enjoy the horse time/get on with riding but it's like starting on the back foot every time I go and something is 'up'. When I've had a stressful/emotionally intense week at work or other stuff going on, it's all a bit much.

I really did strike gold with my last share - horse I felt safe to go on adventures with, lovely owner, and relaxed yard. Heavenly!

 

[j1ffy]

It was certainly striking when I went last week for a non-riding day and wasn't feeling that much more relaxed about going even with riding taken out of the equation. Ideally I'd like to shove all that out of my mind and enjoy the horse time/get on with riding but it's like starting on the back foot every time I go and something is 'up'. When I've had a stressful/emotionally intense week at work or other stuff going on, it's all a bit much.

I really did strike gold with my last share - horse I felt safe to go on adventures with, lovely owner, and relaxed yard. Heavenly!

It’s such a shame but we’ve all been there. When we were at our last yard, a friend of mine used to turn around and go home if she saw certain cars in the car park! Not a cheap yard either. Like you, my horse time is supposed to be a sanctuary from a stressful work life. Dealing with more ‘human’ stress at the yard can materially impact your ability to handle nerves.

I hope the new RS is good and that you can build your confidence again - having seen your videos on here, you can definitely ride so keep at it.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

It’s such a shame but we’ve all been there. When we were at our last yard, a friend of mine used to turn around and go home if she saw certain cars in the car park! Not a cheap yard either. Like you, my horse time is supposed to be a sanctuary from a stressful work life. Dealing with more ‘human’ stress at the yard can materially impact your ability to handle nerves.

I hope the new RS is good and that you can build your confidence again - having seen your videos on here, you can definitely ride so keep at it.

Thank you that is kind of you to say.

A few weeks until my lesson at the new RS but I have been checking out their client Facebook page and the horses look fabulous, as does the emphasis on confidence building. I am looking forward to it already which is saying something given how deflated I felt yesterday and today.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Well that's that for the share then. A difficult conversation but the response really confirmed that it's the right decision and just how much of the difficulty has been actually nothing to do with share horse at all. I feel incredibly sad that I won't see him again. I tried to discuss approach to ending the agreement as there was nothing in writing but I assumed I would need to give at least some notice and was ready to sort that out. It was met with an assumption that I just wasn't going to come/show up anymore and that I'd left it until the end of the month to avoid paying any notice, despite literally attempting to have the conversation. I've followed up with a text message to offer notice again but feel about as welcome on the yard as a bout of strangles so there we are. My gut was telling me something just not what I thought it was!

 

[smolmaus]

Sorry SP'D. That's really annoying but at least you know you were right to trust yourself. Why can't people just be bloody normal?

 

[dixie]

Ah That’s a shame it ended that way.

I think it’s just as well you finished it now at the beginning of summer rather than letting it drag on making you unhappy.

And now you’ve got the new RC to look forward to.

 

[Kunoichi73]

Sorry to hear your share didn't work out and finishing it was stressful. Good luck with your new RS!

 

[Cragrat]

Deep breath and move on. Sounds like a slightly toxic place, or at least definitely not suited to you.

I really hope the new riding school goes well!

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Feeling a little better today after feeling quite down yesterday. Having the new RS to look forward to and the potential of volunteering with RDA is really helping, as is the support of the forum!

 

[southerncomfort]

SPD - I can't remember if you said you had it or not, but you're very welcome to have my copy of Karl Greenwood's book.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

SPD - I can't remember if you said you had it or not, but you're very welcome to have my copy of Karl Greenwood's book.

That's very kind of you to offer, I do have a copy of his book

 

[Kunoichi73]

Let the new RS know about your anxiety, start off easy, try various horses till you find a few that you're comfortable with and take everything slowly and carefully. You'll get there, you just need to humour your brain!

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Oooooh, a very nice update incoming...

My first lesson at new RS today. Maybe pic and video can speak for themselves more than anything I can write. I got on and felt quite wobbly so we started on the lunge. The concept of riding off the lunge was terrifying but by the end I was trotting round with a big smile on my face. It's all quite tentative/not very forwards and this horse is capable of much more (he's a veteran Adv Med schoolmaster) but he looked after me so well and I feel sure when I get used to him I'll be really getting the benefit of riding a horse who is very responsive.

I left at the end with literal tears of joy in my eyes. My last rides, on share horse and at other RS, just made me feel so hopeless so to come back from that and find a place to gently work through the wobbles is such a relief!

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

I'm so pleased for you that it went well xx

 

[dixie]

Fantastic, well done.
And big smiles on your face

 

[Red-1]

I am grinning like a Cheshire cat for you here. I do wish you were nearer here, you could have little rides on Rigs between your rides.

 

[SheriffTruman]

Just found this thread, and read it all. Very happy for you that you enjoyed your lesson. Yay for riding of the lounge! Looks like you're off for a fresh start.

 

[southerncomfort]

Fantastic! Very, very happy for you!

 

[smolmaus]

You deserved a great day SP'd. Absolutely delighted for you

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Oooooh, a very nice update incoming...

My first lesson at new RS today. Maybe pic and video can speak for themselves more than anything I can write. I got on and felt quite wobbly so we started on the lunge. The concept of riding off the lunge was terrifying but by the end I was trotting round with a big smile on my face. It's all quite tentative/not very forwards and this horse is capable of much more (he's a veteran Adv Med schoolmaster) but he looked after me so well and I feel sure when I get used to him I'll be really getting the benefit of riding a horse who is very responsive.

I left at the end with literal tears of joy in my eyes. My last rides, on share horse and at other RS, just made me feel so hopeless so to come back from that and find a place to gently work through the wobbles is such a relief!

View attachment 114903

That's a wonderful photo and a really great report. Well done!

 

[Kunoichi73]

So pleased for you!

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Eeeeee! I'm so pleased after second lesson at new RS. Still quite nervous, plus my supporter/camera person (aka my OH) wasn't able to come which made me realise how much he has helped me with riding, this year especially.

Started on lunge again, just briefly this time and I was so much more comfortable trotting around solo. I even had an attempt at a canter. We might have had a few strides and then my brain's panic alarm went off so we just went back to trotting and working through the 'wobbly moment'. I'm probably a frustrating person to teach riding because I am able to do things but when that panic alarm goes off it takes a lot to just stay on the horse and regain the focus; mind just goes 'nope'. Towards the end I really felt the horse's back come up from him pushing forward with his hind legs - not something I am used to but something clicked and I thought 'ah this is what we're aiming for!'

Absolutely made the right choice to change instructor/RS; she has the patience and the right 'tone' to work through things which makes me feel safer and not beat myself up so much so that I can get on with what needs to be done.

The horse is just so lovely and I know when I am braver, riding positively and correctly, it's going to feel amazing and not scary. He is sensitive in a good way, responsive but forgiving!

 

[Kunoichi73]

So glad you enjoyed your lesson and have found a sympathetic instructor. Good luck progressing!

 

[dixie]

What a lovely horse, No wonder you’re smitten.

You also have a lovely seat. Keep persevering with your nerves as you can be a lovely rider, if you can believe in yourself

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

What a lovely horse, No wonder you’re smitten.

You also have a lovely seat. Keep persevering with your nerves as you can be a lovely rider, if you can believe in yourself

When I saw him for my first lesson there I thought 'for me?!' I'm enjoying getting to know him.

I think I'm in the right place that if I persevere things will really move in the right direction with the confidence!

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Unexpected lesson report... RS is closed for a few weeks so I booked in at the RDA centre I volunteer at, somewhat spontaneously, and then this morning thought 'oh why did I do that!?' But do that I did, and it was already paid for, so in the car we got. Then arrived at the yard and realised literally everyone else was children (there did turn out to be another adult in my group) so had intrusive mental image of them all charging round on ponies with me crying in an arena corner. Swiftly put that in the back of my mind...

New horse to ride, though I know him from the group I volunteer with and his rider in that group can be a bit nervous too so I assumed I was in good hands/hooves. New instructor who I did Google before going and found an event that said they work successfully with nervous riders which made me go ahead and book in. I love that they asked me at the start whether I had any riding goals, so often RIs don't seem to ask this but it's such a useful thing to have in mind. The only goal I could think of was 'build confidence!'

If I take out of the equation that I didn't ride the main exercise very accurately, and that in the videos all I can see is my mid-section/core swaying wildly forward and back (I got some useful cues to address this in the lesson), I'm actually really pleased with myself. It was a real challenge for me to ride in a group full stop, ride open order to warm up, trot as a ride, ride a new horse, with new instructor, do loads of trot without stirrups (line was drawn at canter without stirrups though!), and canter. Basically everything was a challenge where my brain went 'wait, we're doing what now?!' But I did it!

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

Unexpected lesson report... RS is closed for a few weeks so I booked in at the RDA centre I volunteer at, somewhat spontaneously, and then this morning thought 'oh why did I do that!?' But do that I did, and it was already paid for, so in the car we got. Then arrived at the yard and realised literally everyone else was children (there did turn out to be another adult in my group) so had intrusive mental image of them all charging round on ponies with me crying in an arena corner. Swiftly put that in the back of my mind...

New horse to ride, though I know him from the group I volunteer with and his rider in that group can be a bit nervous too so I assumed I was in good hands/hooves. New instructor who I did Google before going and found an event that said they work successfully with nervous riders which made me go ahead and book in. I love that they asked me at the start whether I had any riding goals, so often RIs don't seem to ask this but it's such a useful thing to have in mind. The only goal I could think of was 'build confidence!'

If I take out of the equation that I didn't ride the main exercise very accurately, and that in the videos all I can see is my mid-section/core swaying wildly forward and back (I got some useful cues to address this in the lesson), I'm actually really pleased with myself. It was a real challenge for me to ride in a group full stop, ride open order to warm up, trot as a ride, ride a new horse, with new instructor, do loads of trot without stirrups (line was drawn at canter without stirrups though!), and canter. Basically everything was a challenge where my brain went 'wait, we're doing what now?!' But I did it!

What a blooming fabulous update, sounds a great lesson! So so pleased for you x

 

[Red-1]

Sounds fantastic!

Sometimes people can read the energy of a lesson and make it all happen for every rider. It is not everyone who can do that. I am so glad you grasped the opportunity and went for it.

But I do wish you lived nearer here to ride Riggers!!!!