Can I cry pls?

[Queenbee]

thank you all, things are actually looking a lot bleaker, today, yes she is still picky with her feed but she will eat mix on its own (she had a stubbs scoop full) and an hour later a bowl of mollichaff (her all time favourite at the moment) she has been left with a combination of topline mix, blue chip pro, cereal mix and chaff to munch on throughout the night and haylage. But she is absolutely ehausted, just like at the begining her energy levels have flatlined, I have noticed the past few days that her whinneys seem a little bit hoarse (almost as if she has a sore throat) and her head is hanging low, she was stood at the stable door and she kept knocking it with her legs, I think she was actually so tired she kept almost stumbling she then laid down in the stable whilst myself and another livery were talking.


Throughout my time with horses, I have always wanted to be able to share that moment with a horse when you get to have proper loves with them while they are lying down, It has never happened, infact with ebony the only time that I have ever seen her lying down in 11 yrs is this month. I knew I would never get that with her...

I think I got told by her tonight, and I think during the time these photos were taken I made my decision, she is just so tired, and not even the mare she was 2 days ago, I will be talking with the vet tomorrow, I may rally round and change my mind, but I think to go further seeing how she is going downhill rapidly would be for me, not her. Of course she may perk up a bit again, but I really dont think she will, there was a definite difference, a very very tired ebony with absolutely no fight or spark. I could keep going on, and I would if she hadnt deteriorated these last couple of days to the extent that she has, If she is uber sparky tomorrow, then who knows, but I think this is it now.

 

[Parker79]

So sorry to hear this...you are being so brave. I hope the vet will help you with a plan or decision in the morning. Good luck in the morning...I hope she pulls through x

 

[Emilieu]

I'm so sorry to read this. Thank you for sharing those pics of a very special moment with us. My thoughts are with you and your girl xx

 

[rhino]

I'm so sorry Em. She's such a special girlie

 

[LaurenBay]

I am so so sorry to hear it. If it makes any difference, I belive you are making the right choice. Ebony is very lucky to have you by her side, you clearly love her deeply. Xx

 

[meesha]

Thinking of you xxx

 

[Doris68]

I'm so, so sorry for you and your beautiful girl. You have done everything you can and all I can say is be brave and remember all the good times. Very sad.

 

[Mince Pie]

Oh Em that second photo is heartbreaking

 

[Oberon]

Whatever decision you make, I'm with you.

 

[Elsbells]

Thinking of you both.

 

[Puddock]

I remember reading your threads last year. She's a beautiful girl. I have nothing useful to add, except to say that I am thinking of you both and hoping for a remarkable turnaround tomorrow. How poignant those photos are...

 

[Queenbee]

I'm so sorry Em. She's such a special girlie

Thank you hun, she really is, Ive owned and known some fantastic horses, but none have matched her and none will, I stumbled across one hell of a horse, and have been truly blessed, I will have the biggest hole punched through my heart and in my life, replacing ebony would not be possible I could never even try

Oh Em that second photo is heartbreaking

Yes, I know, I was blarting my eyes out quite possibly the most tender and poignant moment I have ever shared with her.

Thank you all so very much, as I have said, you really have given me amazing advice, support and strength xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[FionaM12]

I'm so moved by your photos and your words. I'm so, so sorry Emily. Whatever you do, it will be for the best, because you know your lovely girl like no-one else. xxxxx

 

[Pearlsasinger]

So sorry it's come to this, you have certainly done as much as any-one could.
I do hope she rallies.

 

[m1stify]

My heart goes out to you..

 

[Bertolie]

My thoughts and prayers are with you both. X

 

[Stacy_W]

I have just spent the last hour reading all this and I'm so saddened by your most recent update. Such beautiful pictures and a gorgeous mare. We all try so hard for our most precious friends, but we have to listen to them when they've had enough.

Very moving pictures, but ones I'm sure you will treasure. Xx

 

[Nannon]

Second picture is heartbreaking really hoping she pulls through - thoughts and prayers with you x

 

[MissTyc]

Thinking of you - what a terrible thing to be going through

 

[blood_magik]

I really hope she pulls through x

 

[Sam_J]

I'm an infrequent poster (although regular lurker who was enthralled by the is she/isn't she debate!) but am sitting here with tears running down my face and felt I had to post. You have my utmost respect for all you have done for your lovely mare - your love for her shines through all your posts.

I think you are being incredibly brave - how lucky for Ebony to have you as her guardian.

 

[piebaldsparkle]

xxx

 

[Queenbee]

I'm an infrequent poster (although regular lurker who was enthralled by the is she/isn't she debate!) but am sitting here with tears running down my face and felt I had to post. You have my utmost respect for all you have done for your lovely mare - your love for her shines through all your posts.

I think you are being incredibly brave - how lucky for Ebony to have you as her guardian.

you and me both, there hasn't been a single day that I haven't cried since the onset of this bloody heartbreaking injust, flipping totally wrong on all levels nightmare

We all have our crosses to bear, but as I said earlier, the last 4 year of my life have been so very difficult, I have had my beautiful girl for 11, and I love her so very much, but that doesn't mean shes been a picnic, no horse has ever thrown me more attitude, challenges, spark, tallent, love, enthusiasm or effort, but she has been my lifesaver too, I have not publicly lived my experiences the last 4 years, but she is the reason I came through, as I also said earlier, I owe her everything.

It warms my heart that through this forum, a little friesian x tb mare who was purchased with a student loan many many moons ago, has apparently touched the hearts of so very many. I wish you all could have seen her in her prime in RL, she was inspiring. Thank you all for your words of support, I will keep you informed I promise xx

 

[FionaM12]

Goodnight, Emily and Ebony. I'm off to bed. You're both in my thoughts a lot at present. xxxx

 

[Queenbee]

Thank you fi and goodnight xxx I'm bleeding shattered xx

 

[be positive]

Thinking of you, even when I was having my rant just now, at least mine are all healthy, sleep well and stay strong xx

 

[Pidgeon]

Oh honey I'm so sorry, however you are right she is telling you she's had enough, really really sad. Console yourself with knowing you gave her every chance, sending you massive hugs Xxx

 

[touchstone]

Oh QB I'm so sorry to read your latest update, however I think that you are making the right decision. I have been really moved by Ebony and hope the next few days go as well as they can for you both. xxxx

 

[Stacy_W]

Echo Be Positive. I love my horses even more now.

 

[Surreydeb]

So so sorry sitting here with tears running down my face. Wishing you all the best your horse is so lucky to have had you and you should be so proud of yourself. Try and remember all the best times you have had with her. Your strength comes through in your posts and you and Ben will be ok. Big hugs and best wishes xxxx