Can I sell my soulmate??

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Please can someone help me make a decision? I have a fab horse, huge confidence giver (I was a nervous wreck when I got her and she has sorted me completely), so kind and gentle on the ground with people, great to hack out alone and in company etc etc, but I now want to do more. She's 18 years old and likes plodding around the countryside, but I want regular lessons, my daughter wants to do jumping clinics etc, and I am wondering if it is fair on her. I've resorted to oats and impulsion spurs to give her a bit more go, but should I just get a younger more forward horse. I feel like I'm selling a member of my family though, it makes me feel sick just to think about it. I wish I could afford two and then I could keep her and get something else but thats unfortunately not an option. What to do, I just don't know
 
Is there anyone you know that would loan your horse that will hack her etc that way you still own her so she is safe and you could look for another? x:)
 
Ohh poor you, what a heartbreaker!

I suppose it all comes down to how much you want to do other stuff that your horse can't do.

If you do decide to sell you'll have to keep remnding yourself that all that she's learnt and given to you she can now go on to give to someone else. These confidence giver type horses are so rare they need sharng round a bit :-)

could you consider loaning her out to someone who just wants to do a bit of hacking occasional lesson etc? Maybe even someone who could keep her at your yard so you can still see her?

Personally I would prefer to sell than loan. Think i'd be too tempted to interfere all the time, but thats just me :-)

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.
 
Been where you are, keep here, perhaps loan here but keep hold of her if you can. She's a rare thing so just enjoy doing what she can do.
Finding something that you can do what you currently can with her, is not as easy as it seems.
You could perhaps put word out about loaning her and if someone you know and can check on frequently asks about her that could be an option?

Also have you tried any other horses yet? Sometimes a sit on what you think you want can bring suprising revelations so might be worth trying before you part with her?
 
I would need to sell her to buy a 2nd, I did think about loaning her, and then loaning another, but it all gets a bit complicated, and if my loanee pulled out, I would have to give the loan horse back
 
if you know they will go to a good home then yes i think its the right thing if shes still happy in her work
 
Alibear said:
Been where you are, keep here, perhaps loan here but keep hold of her if you can. She's a rare thing so just enjoy doing what she can do.
Finding something that you can do what you currently can with her, is not as easy as it seems.
You could perhaps put word out about loaning her and if someone you know and can check on frequently asks about her that could be an option?

Also have you tried any other horses yet? Sometimes a sit on what you think you want can bring suprising revelations so might be worth trying before you part with her?
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I sat on my friends horse for 5 minutes and he seemed so forward going and easy compared to her. I don't want to part with her emotionally, but just want a bit more energy. Like I say, she's now on oats and I'm wearing impulsion spurs, which has helped a tiny bit, but wonder if I'm expecting too much of an 18 year old horse.
 
hope you can work something out as it sounds like she has really helped you out.
Try and be very picky if you do sell her as will be sad to see another older horse being passed about. But sounds like she has alot more to give to someone
 
I am not the best person to talk to, as I am alway on the animals side and would never sell, as I am just not that type of person who could sell an animal, once with me, with me for life.

So my thoughts are, this horse has helped you and is 18 years of age, so I would not want to show my thanks by moving her on in her old age to godknows who.
Yes, I know you want something younger and all that and i can completely understand.

This is what I would do. Look at my budget, I would find field rent for your Mare where she can be happy out 24/7 (easy to look after/cheap livery) and then find somewere cheap (if not the same place) and loan out another... Something both your daughter and you can ride.

This way it doesn't cost more and you get to have the younger horse too.x
 
I wouldnt sell now. Think how much she has given you. I would try and find someone to share/loan her and then look at getting annother horse. But you have to think of her needs before your own
 
Can I just ask when 18 became old?? I thought the average age for a horse was 25-30, some live way past that. that means that this horse could have another 10 years of a healthy happy life ahead of her, and everyone is suggesting retiring her?

I understand that not all horses can work in there veteran years, but many work right up to the day they die.

No ones asked OP what the horses health is like?
 
I don't think 18 is old but she is no spring chicken either, I have had to semi-retire my 18 year old gelding, he has osteo-arthritis and is no longer up to competing like we used to. I could never sell him but then I am fortunate enough to be able to keep more than one.

Is she sound and otherwise healthy? How long ahve you had her?
 
I got my confidence giving pony when he was 22. I'm so, so glad that someone was prepared to sell him to me, despite his age. He competed with me right into his 30's and even went on to be a happy hacker after that. Someone had put their heart and soul into teaching that pony to be the great all rounder that he was. It would have been a real shame to have left him in a field to go to waste.............
 
From what have said this is what I think.

Once you have sold her, there is no going back, if you think it will break your heart now, it will do even more when she gone, however in time this will ease from being kept busy with your new horse, but you probably will still regret it all same, the horse like somone else said, has served you well, perhaps in return you honour that by ensuring the horse carrys on doing what she likes....hacking and eventually a nice retirement which could be many years away yet. Of course someone else out there (a buyer) could provide this, but you will never have control of this, however you would if she was to go on loan.

There is nothing wrong with parting with a faithful horse, I'm sure alot of people out there would do anything to have a horse like yours, I do think its fairer on the horse having an owner that wants to do the same activities though, so completely understand your situation.

Ideally it would be great if you knew someone that had the type of horse you were after but wanted the type of horse you had, a loan that could work both ways, you never know, there could be somone on here that could hook you up with someone.

Hope it works out. :)
 
I would say sell. Its very easy for people with land and cash to say keep her because of all she's given you but at the end of the day (harsh though it may sound) we get horses for a reason, they are working animals. Sometimes difficult decisions need to be made as to whether or not they can fulfil what you need from them anymore. They aren't cheap to keep and with that kind of investment you should be getting out of it what you want to.

You can ensure that you vet homes properly and there are loads of people out there looking for a genuine confidence giver. As others have said, if she's still healthy and sound there is no reason why she can't give someone else 8-10 years of fun and confidence.
 
Thank you for all your replies. She is in good health at the moment (touch wood). She was kicked in the face last year and suffered a fractured jaw, but thankfully, after lots of vets fees, is fine now. I do agree with you all, on the one hand she has given me so much and I feel terrible thinking of selling her, and she is far to good to think about retiring, but on the other hand she isn't fulfilling our riding needs. Loaning is an option, but you are then relying on people, and people are good at letting you down, especially in the middle of winter. I'm still no closer to making a decision
 
There is also the point of view that she has given you some amazing years....but she has done the job that you wanted from her and very very well by the sound of it. And now you want more....which she cant give you.
There are some seriously genuine people out there crying out for the star of a horse that yours sounds, who could give her the most amazing home where she would be loved and cherished and mosey around the countryside till her hearts content with someone that is happy doing just that.
If you were very carefull in vetting the homes, putting her out on loan with view to buy etc and made sure that you found her a good home she could go on doing what she does best and giving confidence to someone who needs it.
It would be heartbreaking to sell her....but if you need to feed her oats and use spurs...in time that will not be enough and you will have a horse that you cant do what you want to go on to do. She definately doesnt sound like she is ready to be a field ornament.
You could maybe start by putting really strict criteria on where she goes i.e.. withing 25 miles of your home so that you could regularly visit during the trial time, you could get references for the people that would potentially buy here....it sounds fussy....but if people are genuine they will push the boat out for that special horse.
 
IF you can find a good home then I don't see why not. It is not compulsory to keep them and you have to do what is right for you. If you can only afford 1 horse and you have progressed beyond her then it is your life so do what YOU want to. Find her a lovely home and move on. I found my old boy a super home. He is their number one horse.
 
Do you mean that you need to sell her so that you can use the money to buy another horse? It's just that I'm not sure you would be able to sell her for an awful lot and then if you were looking for a nice riding club, safe allrounder type you would be paying quite a bit. I think that you need to weigh up the pros of selling her and making maybe £1000 from her and feeling bereft at losing her and still having to find £1500- £2000 for another horse or loan her and save up £2500 or £3000 for the new one.
 
I buy and sell a lot of horses but there is no way I could ever sell an 18yr old horse that had been my best friend and confidence giver. Sorry, but she owes you nothing. You owe her everything! If she really can't hang around then find her a good loan home where she can slow down slightly and give someone else years more of fun. After recently selling one of our old hunters aged 17 to what we thought was a home for life hacking home only to find the horse had been resold under a month later I wouldn't even consider selling another at this age, I would rather have them PTS.
 
Thank you all guys. Some really good advice. I think if I did sell her I would be comparing the new horse to her all the time because she is sooo perfect. And to be honest, if it wasn't for her, I would have given up riding. I do owe it to her to keep her for the rest of her life. Just a bit frustrated because I want to progress with my riding but I'm lucky to have a horse at the end of the day :)
 
If I were you I'd look for a loaner for her - or even a part loaner and find a loan horse for your self.

I have a 16yr old Tb who I'd never sell, but can't do the things I want with him anymore. I have found an absolutely wonderful loaner for him. She started off part loaning him and now more or less full loans (he is on full livery which helps) - and I just ride once a week. It works out great for both of us.

I can't afford to buy another but had a fab pony on full loan for the past year, and now am looking to part loan while I search for a new full loan.
 
I couldn't sell at 18 year old horse especially if it has given such good and willing service. It is a lot to ask of someone to buy her, get say a couple years of decent riding* and then give her a good retirement home.

But, if you do, the important thing is to put a lot of energy into finding the RIGHT home for her ... not just putting an ad in the local papers, taking the money and closing your eyes to the consequences (at least I couldn't).

The alternative is to find her a good loan home, but make it clear that if it doesn't work out it is their responsibility to help you find another loan home, or if that is unfeasible to have her PTS.

* I think you say she is quite big, so unlike a pony which can go on for ever, she is unlikely to give many more years of reasonable riding.
 
i definitely know what you are talking about, i once thought about giving up my little pony but i kept him - he was my soul mate and i had to let him go (pts)- laminitis was too much :( hold on to her just do what she can, if you love her that much you will do the right thing - for both of you
sorry if i seem kinda moany :/ good luck whatever you decide x
 
natalia said:
I buy and sell a lot of horses but there is no way I could ever sell an 18yr old horse that had been my best friend and confidence giver. Sorry, but she owes you nothing. You owe her everything! If she really can't hang around then find her a good loan home where she can slow down slightly and give someone else years more of fun. After recently selling one of our old hunters aged 17 to what we thought was a home for life hacking home only to find the horse had been resold under a month later I wouldn't even consider selling another at this age, I would rather have them PTS.
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extra coment
i have to admit i agree a year before the dsission for my pony too be pts he could have been sold on but i could do it (17yrs) i retired him instead.
 
I feel for you, its a real tough one, I am in a similar (ish) place.
My mare is 20, has a bad foot so I have to go careful, her soundness could come to and end tomorrow, but for me personally, I will be keeping her, at my sacrifice not being able to afford a second young,fit and healthy one.
Its really down to personal choice and I think only you know the answer in truth.
Its hard going when you want to do a bit more and your horse cant, you either have to accept you cannot do so much or make a tougher decision and trade in some how.
Loaning could be all well and good, it could be perfect, but it does not always go to plan, then you may be stuck with two horses you cannot afford. You just have to be very careful and have contigency plans for where things may go awry.
Good luck, I understand its a very tough decision.
 
At 18 I personally would keep her and think you may regret it if you decide to sell. I was in a similar position as my 14.2, 20yr old had arthritis in both knees and could only do gentle hacking. I found a really good riding centre and had weekly lessons on their 16hh schoolmasters and learnt loads. I figured this way I got the best of both worlds.

Would it be an option to keep your soulmate, find a sharer and put the money towards having regular lessons? Just saying it worked for me. Unfortunately my old horse passed away from colic at 25. I was with him to the end and have no regrets. I knew he was safe and had the best possible life I could give him. I now have a lovely 15.2 mare who was worth the wait.
 
Personally I couldn't sell an old horse. I now have two oldies, one out on loan locally in a very good home, and another with me. However, you really do need to weigh up how important it is for you to progress with your riding, compared to how important your horse is to you.

You say you are feeding oats and using spurs. I wouldn;t be doing either. Your horse is by no means ancient but if she is either slowing down or a slower type top start with, its really not fair on her to try to liven her up in this way.

If you can find a good home for her, she could indeed give someone else a few years of confidence and happiness. However, these things are not easy. One of my oldies as I said is on loan but it was someone who came to me wanting her. I vetted them thoroughly, they are friends of a friend and she has a lovely happy life, doing what she enjoys with people who love her. I see her whenever I want and would have her back if they needed me to. I am by no means well off. I have sacrificed a lot to keep my oldies, including any riding aspirations I may have had.

They are expensive to keep but there are always ways to make savings. I have never had a car younger than 10yrs old for example!

A sharer is also a viable option. They can take on some fo the work, will be grateful for the horsey contact but lack of responsibility (ie only having to go three times a week) and can contribute towards expenses and still pay less than an hours instruction at the riding school! Although I would recommend lessons for potential sharers if you feel they need it.

There are plenty of people who would kill to hack out safely a few times a week so I think this would be my preferred option if I really felt I wanted to do more myself.

Sorry thats all a bit garbled but its not an easy question!
 
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