Can someone please give me a kick up the bum?

Kokopelli

Kokopelli

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I'm being such an idiot lately, I keep crying over Koko and its turning me into a grumpy un-pleasent person. I decided not to go out tonight (partly because I have coursework in tomorrow) mainly because I just don't feel like it.

I really need a kick up the bum, I have a lovely pony at the stables who will do anything for me and is just a lovely little chap yet for some reason I resent him because he is in that stable and Koko isn't. Don't get me wrong I adore Andy but lately I just wish he was Koko, stupid I know.

I'm taking him competing on saturday (weather permitting) and I'm not excited for it, my mum says its because its at Hartbury and that was the last place I rode him.

Sorry for the stupid pointless post been feeling this for a while and had to get it out as my friends don't understand why I'm so upset over loosing a horse "because surely its just like loosing a hamster" :confused:
 
Kokopelli said:
I'm being such an idiot lately, I keep crying over Koko and its turning me into a grumpy un-pleasent person. I decided not to go out tonight (partly because I have coursework in tomorrow) mainly because I just don't feel like it.

I really need a kick up the bum, I have a lovely pony at the stables who will do anything for me and is just a lovely little chap yet for some reason I resent him because he is in that stable and Koko isn't. Don't get me wrong I adore Andy but lately I just wish he was Koko, stupid I know.

I'm taking him competing on saturday (weather permitting) and I'm not excited for it, my mum says its because its at Hartbury and that was the last place I rode him.

Sorry for the stupid pointless post been feeling this for a while and had to get it out as my friends don't understand why I'm so upset over loosing a horse "because surely its just like loosing a hamster" :confused:
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It is always heartbreaking when your best friend dies, and it takes an awful long time to get over them becuase they make up such a large piece of your life, and your probably feeling like your right arm has been cut off. This is all normal and part of your grieving process, i know everyone says this but time is a healer, and time does help.
You need to think of all the good times you had with Koko and look back at his life with a smile :) (easier said then done I know).
I think once you do more things with Andy, and the more time that goes by the easier it will get for you.
You must force yourself to get up and go out, it might be hard at first, but you need to get out and enjoy yourself, it wont bring koko back by not going out.
Enjoy your new exeperiences with Andy, and give him the credit he deserves, you will soon see that he may be your little ray of light that makes everything seem better :)
hope you feel a bit better soon, and remember some days will be worse than others xx
 
I don't think you need a kick. It's still so soon after you lost Koko, and he was taken so suddenly- you're still grieving. Don't beat yourself up.
Do allow yourself time to grieve- it hits us all in different ways,and we have some days better than others.
Thinking of you.
x
 
Totally understand, its normal for you to still be greiving. Koko was an amazing pony and he will always be in your heart, but you have a great pony currently, and you can't dwell on the past.

So get out there this weekend and do your very best, and if its the last place you rode him, do your ride in memory of Koko. Take a lock of his hair with you.
 
Oh poor you, its really normal you only lost him a short while ago. I expect your almost putting a barrier up with Andy, over time that will change.
I know before you were saying that you were looking to move yards, that may help a frsh start at a new place.
Good luck for saturday, youll be fine, you may shed some tears but time is a healer.
Dont worry you normal you should have seen me when my daughters very tame pet rabbit died i was devestated, i couldnt even move her had to get my friend to help me!!!!!
 
It doesn't help I keep thinking of the what ifs- He had so much in front of him we never know he could have been an olympic champion (doubt it) but you never know.

I might take his shoe with us, we'll look like twits carrying a shoe around but oh well.
 
It's natural. It will fade with time.

When I got Dizz, and for quite a long time, I used to look at her long chestnut DWB neck and cry because it wasn't the spotted bot's IDxTB neck with the funny mane.

It was only when Dizz was at the vet's the second time that it hit me what I might lose, i.e. Dizzy, and that was when I realised how much I loved her.

There's always ifs and buts and maybes, but thinking that way is the route to madness. It leads no-where.
 
It has been such a short time and you haven't had enough time to grieve fully yet. Andy isn't replacing Koko, he is totally different, and when your grieving process is finished you will suddenly look at him in a different light, I think he distracted you at first and now you have got used to him so are thinking more about Koko. He was such a big part of your life and you loved him, be gentle with yourself and don't make yourself do too much until you are ready but enjoy Andy. One day you will suddenly see all the happy memories of Koko are still with you rather than the painful ones and you will enjoy Andy, perhaps in a different way, but still making more happy memories. Take care hun xx
 
I just feel like I should be over him by now, so does my family and friends I think they're fed up with me now, don't blame em really.

I can't wait for the time to come where I really feel I can enjoy Andy for what he is, thanks guys :)
 
Of course you miss him. Just remember what he taught you and go out and do well because of that, with his memory giving you confidence. Loved pets are never gone, we will always carry a special place in our hearts for each and every one, but the new ones are to be loved too, and enjoyed even more for the skills and experiences the previous ones gave us.
 
I know what you mean. I lost my girl in June and have cried everyday since. It would have been 28 years today since we bought her, so there have been even more tears today. I feel exactly how you do, I just want the sadness to start lifting. Hugs to you x
 
mymare said:
I know what you mean. I lost my girl in June and have cried everyday since. It would have been 28 years today since we bought her, so there have been even more tears today. I feel exactly how you do, I just want the sadness to start lifting. Hugs to you x
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Awww, after 28years its going to take longer than 6 months to stop feeling sad xxxxxxxxxx
 
Kokopelli said:
I just feel like I should be over him by now, so does my family and friends I think they're fed up with me now, don't blame em really.

I can't wait for the time to come where I really feel I can enjoy Andy for what he is, thanks guys :)
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TBH not everyone feels the same about animals and cannot relate the loss to that of losing a member of the family, you will probably never 'be over' him, but the loss will become easier to bear. As that gets easier so it will become easier to enjoy Andy to the full, other people cannot tell you how long this will/should take, it will be in your own time. xx
 
Kokopelli said:
I just feel like I should be over him by now, so does my family and friends I think they're fed up with me now, don't blame em really.

I can't wait for the time to come where I really feel I can enjoy Andy for what he is, thanks guys :)
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you'll never 'get over' him and neither should you! You just learn to live with his absence and learn to love other horses for their own right, not as a replacement to Koko. Andy is still new and your pain is still raw so its natural that you two havent clicked properly yet, just give it time and dont force the issue of 'getting over' Koko, It gets easier to live with, i promise!
 
I'm going to gie you a great big HUG not a kick dont feel bad about not being over koko it will take time and people that dont understand have obviously not been as close to anything as you were to koko. Try to enjoy competing on saturday, let us know how it goes and keep us updated on andys progress.
 
*hugs*

Just remember when people ask you why is it you're so upset over losing "just a horse" - it's "just that horse" that stopped you being "just another person" :)

You loved Koko, and although I rarely replied, I followed your posts and he seemed a very remarkable horse with a very loving home. Remember the good times and don't think of Andy as a replacement - he will give you more good memories and fun times, in a different way to Koko.
Give it time, its still early xx
 
mymare- I'm so sorry about your loss, sending hugs your way

Cheers everyone, feeling a bit better. Will keep you posted about saturday and might even bring a cameraman along for some videos
 
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