Cheer me up with your competition epic fails

slumdog

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Only went a bloody fluffed up the second to last fence in the jump off! Did a super tight turn (I'm too competitive for my own good) and suddenly though ***** wrong fence, no, ***** right fence! By which time I had to do a circle. G jumped fab and would have gone clear, jockey needs a bloody sat nav! Our first BS show as well so I was so angry at myself!

Please cheer me up and tell me I'm not the only one who has made stupid rider errors!
 
We got a four in a prelim dressage test today, nuff said! :redface3: :biggrin3:

Not that it's a competition (boom boom!) but I once got 3 x 3's in one test - mare either went sideways or bucked up each of the 3 flaming centre lines :rolleyes: Judges comment: think this one prefers jumping!
 
Going wrong in tests
Jumping the wrong fence
Missing out a fence
Getting lost
Not doing my girth up and falling off after the last fence before the finish line
Turning up on the wrong day
Turning up to the wrong venue
Missing the finish posts
Starting before the bell
Not wearing gloves
Carrying a whip
Falling off at the first fence
 
•Being bucked off mid dressage test.
•Had a 0 for an incorrect canter strike off.
•Not making it in to the dressage at a BE Novice ODE due to being bucked off and knocked out whilst mounting.
 
Going wrong in tests
Jumping the wrong fence
Missing out a fence
Getting lost
Not doing my girth up and falling off after the last fence before the finish line
Turning up on the wrong day
Turning up to the wrong venue
Missing the finish posts
Starting before the bell
Not wearing gloves
Carrying a whip
Falling off at the first fence

Brilliant :D
 
Having jumped the course all ready in the previous class for some reason I decided to turn left down the related distance not carry straight on to the fence I was supposed to jump. The fact some one was stood in front of it and I had to tell them to move didn't even seem to register until I had jumped it and was really confused about the impossible line to my next fence.

Competing the YP is an embarrassment every time without me having brain failures.
 
K did her best ever dressage and then jumped an amazing double clear in her 2nd ever BE100. Sounds good you say, what could possibly be wrong with that......... Falling off between the last fence and the finish...... That's what!

Oh and broke her leg to boot! See, yours was nothing ;-)
 
I learned the wrong dressage test - only Intro level! That was embarrassing... Especially as at the previous competition I'd learned the right test, but forgot it twice then retired :p
 
K did her best ever dressage and then jumped an amazing double clear in her 2nd ever BE100. Sounds good you say, what could possibly be wrong with that......... Falling off between the last fence and the finish...... That's what!

Oh and broke her leg to boot! See, yours was nothing ;-)

Ouch! How did she managed that? No that's true, at least my poor horse just ignores the idiot on top and gets on with it lol!
 
Been thrown off at the first fence... twice.
Started before the bell
Gone in circles because I couldn't remember where I was going - both in SJ (understandable) and dressage (less so)
Gone into a show class and started riding round before realising that it was the inland before the ridden...
Getting to a show and realising I didn't have a girth.
Forgetting gloves.... multiple occasions.
Forgetting which colour jumps we were meant to jump xc... so jumping whatever we fancied at each. Thankfully unaff so we didn't even get asked to stop, we just merrily carried on...
Imperiously telling a girl riding far too close to watch out, couldn't she SEE my red ribbon... to realise my friend was waving said red ribbon at me from outside the warmup...
 
oh god, I still have nightmare flashbacks to mine! First hunter trial on a new horse and I got unseated at fence three in front of everyone. hung on over the side of the neck upside down for a while, while hearing the loudspeaker saying 'oh is she off?, is she off?.. yes she's off now' My top pulled up under my bodyprotector, so there was just a layer of squashed belly flab visible (very attractive!) . I only have power in one arm so I can't mount off the ground and the horse wouldn't stand near a fence as the next competitors kept jumping past. The only person who could give me a leg up was a very very very tiny short skinny man. I was about 3 times the size of him so it took about 10 pathetic attempts to get me up! He kept trying and was only getting me up a foot or so. Eventually he did it, but i'd say he has serious back pain to this day! I just cringe any time i think of it!!
 
Left the dressage arena several times mid test on various baby horses. One time pony was falling out in canter and I just couldn't correct him and he fell over the dressage board which went flying, finished the test then got off and put the dressage board back whilst shouting sorry to the judge. They marked us very generously, must've felt sorry for us!
 
Another special one was not being able to get a 17hh gelding over a plank on the floor in a clear round and eventually being asked several times to leave the arena as we were holding everything up. Horse had jumped up to 1.20s previously, jumped fantastically at home and in the warm up. Someone had told me they'd tried the week before and he was terrible but I thought, no no, he'll be fine, they're talking rubbish. My bad.

Don't work for dodgy dealers, the amount of embarrassing experiences I've had out and about are numerous, you learn a lot though!
 
When I was about 10 I had my wee Shetland in a First Ridden class at a show. Round we went, grand, got placed, fine. Went back in for the Novice Ridden. Walk, trot, left hanging on the ring ropes whilst my ****land galloped off up the hill back to the trailer and his buddy. The judge was looking round for the Shetland that she was sure was in the class only to see me trudging back up the hill to retrieve said little sod!
 
I got a 73 dressage at an ODE once, my horse 'wasn't ready for dressage'. He was 25, and I was left wondering if he'd ever be ready...

He was prone to being a nappy sod at times, and on too many occasions we'd get stuck at the start or at the first turn away from home. He was a complete tool about it, and only did it to wind me up and succeeded perfectly! He held all the cards because if I hit him he'd just mess about for longer, if I overdid the kicking and growling he'd take me home, and so I had to sit it out. Only just sitting it out makes you look utterly useless as a rider...

And my piece de resistance...

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1279957446136&set=vb.1446041645&type=3&theater

A crashing fall. This was a 'confidence boost' outing following a nasty fall 2 weeks earlier, I was still a bit battered and was very shaken from it- my first not-silly fall in 3 years off this horse, and it had knocked me for 6. I was very tense and stressed, and got to fence 4 before this got too much. You can't see so well, but what I do it literally throw myself over the fence a stride before takeoff. My poor horse slams into reverse to avoid jumping on top of me and it's a disaster all round... Not the desired effect!!
 
Been bucked off at "X"... Bolted with XC and flew past the start box going in the wrong direction yelling apologies at the top of my voice... Eliminated for swearing in a PC event.
Good friend of mine got run away with in SJ once and was heading straight for the judges box: they were so convinced she was coming in the window they leapt out of the box! She stopped just in time...
 
Oh sooo many ;) . . . let's see . . .

- Very first competition (an eventer's challenge at Rogate/Fairoak) he refused the first fence in the SJ, nearly unseated Z refusing at the third fence and then made a complete "bottom" of himself in the XC - we lost count of how many times he reared in front of one fence, he nearly sat on the bonnet of a fence judge's car and then jumped a duck (yes, a real live duck) on his way back through the woods.

- At our very first stressage competition (Frensham Manor) he escaped from the lorry and tried to leg it down the drive, it took three of us to put his saddle on b/c he was so spinny and silly, judge exclaimed as Z rode into the arena "aaaahhhh the escapee!," judge declined to beep her horn because he was so tense and he produced some very explosive canter work (in an Intro test) - even the photographer was laughing by the end of his test because he was so naughty

- At Tweseldown in March he got a zero in the stressage for striking off on the wrong canter lead

- At Wellington he was so spooky in the dressage that Z forgot where she was going (the workmen in the corner didn't help) and the judge recommended she start again and she could go HC

- At Crofton Manor he decided it would be great fun to spin and wave at the crowd/show them his tummy EVERY time he went into the main arena

- XC schooling at Boomerang, having just spent a good 90 minutes bouncing round the XC course, he decided it would really good fun to go round again - broke the baler twine by the lorry and headed back off to the course - we had to ask Sarah Stretton (yes, the event rider) who was heading out to the course on one of her horses if she would mind "parking" across his path/catching him (she did, but wasn't amused) . . . this was in front of Dan Jocelyn, Yogi Breisner, Laura Collett and Nicky Henderson who were all there schooling just prior to the beginning of the season . . . oh the shame :(.

Does that help?

P
 
Burgie 3 day event , I was in 5th place over night after the dressage, next day was steeplechase , I'd been round track one and was coming for the 2nd lap when for a reason unknown to me in a fast canter my horse decided to slam the anchors on resulting in me ending up wedges in the fence upside down and stewards pulling me out.......

null_zpsd658a5cc.jpg


A photo just as the drama started to unfold lol
 
Tried dressage on my poncy Arab when I was younger, he was a star at home and worked at Elem/Med level. BUT try and do a prelim at local riding club, on grass with white boards & flowers was a mission. He took the words warm up outside the arena a bit too literally, I couldn't get him within half a mile of the boards!! And when the judge beeped her horn I think we ended up about 4 fields away. Didn't even make it up the centre line.
 
Think it must be a first BS thing!
My first one on my previous horse, I managed to make him stop (horse NEVER stopped!) at a triple bar, fence three!
The next class was a qualifier with over 70 in it.. I walked the course, and there were 14 fences (two phase!).. Said to bf don't let me forget last fence! What did I do... miss the last fence!!!!! Would have won it aswell. Was absolutely gutted!
At least things ccan only get better eh!
 
Daughter did a blinder at the Trailblazers finals a few years back.

Went into the 1.05m championship final 2nd day in joint 1st place with 4 others knowing she had a very good chance of getting placed. They jumped the first 4 fences lovely, came round the edge of the arena to turn to No.5 & he was just slowing a little so she gave him a squeeze. He mistook it for a 'let's go' squeeze & so jumped what was infront of him - unfortunately this was the arena fence back into the collecting ring!!! Daughter was gutted & wasn't best pleased with me because i was in stitches ;) she could never complain that the pony wouldn't jump anything infront of him :D
 
Took a new horse for a dressage test. He was very green and fairly stressy. Warm up was, um, interesting but we survived. When we were called he trotted round the outside of the arena once, boggling at the boards, the markers, the other arenas, the sky, the other competitors, the stewards, you name it, it got boggled at. We got round and started our trot up the centreline and as we just about got to X he noticed the judge's car, apparently for the first time. Cue spreadeagled halt at X in horror, got him going again but he was stiff-legged walking up to C rocked right back with his head out, eyes on stalks, nostrils flared, snorting and blowing at the car. As the writer moved a piece of paper he spun and legged it. I managed to keep him in the arena but after that he refused to go nearer C than EXB and would only walk in a wiggly stiff-legged line towards it but would try and run away as soon as we turned back towards A. I didn't know where to put myself, I was laughing so much. We were last, the judge didn't eliminate us as she was laughing too much at my efforts.

I swore I'd never take him to another test - that was some five years ago and he's been off injured much of that time. This winter I have promised myself that I have a goal to take him out and do some more dressage with him. I must be mad! (But he's back in work and we ARE working on it!)
 
0 for an incorrect strikeoff sounds a bit dodgy from the judge - were they BD registered?

Yesterday we got the full range of marks for our Novice test from 8 down to 1 (the point where I retired because hailstorm had sent horse into hysterics). Got a grip on ourselves for the Ele though thank God.
 
So many!

Took my loan horse (mad mad TB) to an agricultural show. Massive mistake, he is terrified of cows. I knew there would be cows there so not sure what I was thinking but he spent the entire time galloping about madly until we got disqualified and nearly ran over the judge. Dressage he did 6 flying changes on one circle. Comment said 'no flying change required'. Was a prelim!

Took my first horse to the same show the following year as a 4yo right off the track and he was equally abysmal , reared up and struck out at me with his front legs and caught my jaw (luckily no damage) in the showing. Dressage was incident-free but was warming up just trying to canter a circle but horse was very tense..somebody walked past and commented on my lovely half pass.

Sister's pony at same show went into the dressage (with me) and was not impressed at the grass arena. He's never been worked on grass and we did the whole test at a fast canter. Judge knows me and so asked me if it was a jumping pony..had to say no, it isn't...he is in fact a dressage pony, despite what this might lead you to believe.

I have never gone back to that show, thank god!

Also once got a 40 or something at novice dressage champs when my horse ran backwards out of the arena, kicking over the fence as we went...they let us continue, for some odd reason!

We've had a lot of mishaps! I promise I am not as bad as this post makes me sound, however!
 
I was riding a horse at prelim for a friend. he was quite big and weak, we couldn't work him too much to warm up as he just died when he went in..
I worked him a bit in the warm up & said friend said ' that'll prob do him'- i thought he was still a bit strong and SHOULD have spoken up but just agreed...
Went in, trotted round arena, a bit looky but not too bad, bell goes, turn for C/Line - his mate whinnies from the lorry at the end behind the judge and he galloped, flat out, down the CL towards the judge.
Managed to get him stopped at fence behind judges car ( we went over the boards) and she was peeing herself laughing but said ' would you like to start again? I will have to give you an error of course though, I can't see how else to mark that entrance!' I said that was very kind- and when I went back in he was dead as a dodo, could barely maintain canter...
 
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