Children on yards

[Mrs C]

Hi guys. How do you cope with kids on the yard. I'm talking ones who want to come talk to you, help muck etc? I go to the yard to de-stress and relax after work so keen to hear about any ways to move them away swiftly! Always been on an adult only yard however now 4 rug rats running riot

 

[fredflop]

How old are they? To be honest try and ignore them as much as possible and they should go away

 

[SmartieBean09]

As a Mum, I also go to the yard to de stress so completely understand, but my suggestion would be to imagine being that young, that inquisitive, that innocent. Freedom for children now a days is rare. We live in a world of screens. Are the Parents around? Could you not offer them 5 minutes of your time and then perhaps suggest that they best get back to Mummy/Daddy before they worry where they are?

I love my children to have freedom but livery yards aren't always the best of places and for that reason, I wouldn't allow my children to run riot. I would however involve them in my duties when they do occasionally have to come to the yard but then request that they sit in a safe place and watch. As a child I was lucky to have the freedom of my Grandads stables but livery yards are different and everyone should be considered. It's a difficult situation but not the children's fault. I hate confrontation. What does the delivery yard owner think?

 

[sport horse]

Todays children are next year's grooms, Olympic riders etc. Put them to work, hard work. The feeble will run away and the good ones will be very useful!

 

[Frumpoon]

I’m not a parent but I love having kids around

 

[Patch55]

I agree - the yard is my quiet place. Can you put headphones in and just pretend you cant hear them? And they will soon loose interest.
It's the little ones under 6 or so who need constant supervision who are most draining - I cant relax when they are around in case my big lad moves and treads on them, theres a pitchfork around, child happens to pick up something spooky and flap it etc.
Its a hard conversation to have if you are not good friends with whoever is responsible for them.
Could you go to the yard owner and the yard owner act as a third party to help set some guidelines for the parents? The yard should be enjoyed for all.

 

[AUB]

I remember when I was a teenager with a misbehaved pony. If I got to groom or even cool off one of the big horses I was in heaven! I’d muck, take care of tack, anything at all, and yes, I’d chat constantly and I was probably at times a pain in the a**, but when there are kids around, I try to remember when I was that kid.

 

[UnfilteredCowgirl]

Okay, so, I'm technically not a child. But some might consider me a child. I am 15, turning 16 this year.
But anyways, I love horses and evey time I get the chance, I always ask if I can help someone with theirs because I don't have one of my own. I am careful of who I ask, and I make sure that I am actually helpful, and not just causing more work for them.
I think that you need to keep in mind that as it's already been posted, children are going to grow up one-day and own their own horses. We need to be willing to teach them how to take care if them. I agree with @SmartieBean09 , maybe try using them for a bit and then say that the horse is tired, or he wants to eat. Or something like that. So you don't look like the bad guy you know?
I also agree with @sport horse, if they stick around, you know they aren't scared of hard work, so put them to work!!

 

[Pippity]

I know the pain. My yard had no kids for ages, but now we're being swarmed by them. And, yes, they're the riders of the future, blah, blah, but I have a limited amount of time at the yard and I want to spend it with my horse or with my friends, not with kids.

Thankfully they don't try to interact with me. Possibly because I have serious Resting Bitch Face, possibly because my horse just isn't appealing to kids. (Too big to be a pony, not remotely glamorous or exciting.)

And I'm not going to put them to work. a) They're too small to be any practical use, and b) I pay yard staff to do the work I don't want to do. They're here with their parents, so their parents can put them to work.

 

[Mrs C]

How old

I agree - the yard is my quiet place. Can you put headphones in and just pretend you cant hear them? And they will soon loose interest.
It's the little ones under 6 or so who need constant supervision who are most draining - I cant relax when they are around in case my big lad moves and treads on them, theres a pitchfork around, child happens to pick up something spooky and flap it etc.
Its a hard conversation to have if you are not good friends with whoever is responsible for them.
Could you go to the yard owner and the yard owner act as a third party to help set some guidelines for the parents? The yard should be enjoyed for all.

this is the thing. The eldest is 6, youngest 3. They try brush my horse and I'm scared they'll get stood on. I ride and they're screeching and kicking stuff on the yard by the school, I want to just muck out in peace and they're asking questions or kicking my bedding about

 

[Mrs C]

I know the pain. My yard had no kids for ages, but now we're being swarmed by them. And, yes, they're the riders of the future, blah, blah, but I have a limited amount of time at the yard and I want to spend it with my horse or with my friends, not with kids.

Thankfully they don't try to interact with me. Possibly because I have serious Resting Bitch Face, possibly because my horse just isn't appealing to kids. (Too big to be a pony, not remotely glamorous or exciting.)

And I'm not going to put them to work. a) They're too small to be any practical use, and b) I pay yard staff to do the work I don't want to do. They're here with their parents, so their parents can put them to work.

This is it exactly. I don't have kids because I don't want them. I go to the yard to see my horse but this is impacting the time I'm spending there

 

[Nicnac]

That sounds dangerous. Why isn't the mother parenting them? YO/YM needs to have a word as they are an accident waiting to happen.

 

[dogatemysalad]

Perhaps you'd be happier on an adults only yard.
That said, if the children are at risk because their mum isn't able to supervise 4 young children whilst doing her own chores, have a word with the YO outlining your concerns regarding their safety.
Our yard can get pretty busy at times with small children, but we help each other out, because those children are the future of equestrianism and because its just a nice thing to do. It also means that when we're busy, the kids understand that next time, we'll have a few minutes to hold a hand or let them fetch carrots or a sweeping brush.

 

[SusieT]

If you want to not have them coming over speak to the parents.

 

[Not_so_brave_anymore]

I was a bit prepared to be all like "well, even if you don't have/want kids of your own, don't forget that you once were a kid yourself" etc etc. But 6 and 3?! That's much too young to be unsupervised on a shared yard!

Tell the owner, I mean parent, politely but very firmly that the children must not approach your horse or your stable/equipment. This is an accident waiting to happen. (Fwiw I love kids, I have 4 of my own aged from 2 to 8, but I absolutely wouldn't inflict them on anyone else. A respectful 12yo is a totally different thing)

 

[Flicker]

Their parents should be keeping them under control at that age. As you say, it is first and foremost a safety risk. Secondly, regardless of whether a yard is family friendly, if you do not want to have to interact with someone else’s children while you are there, you should not have to. Perhaps your YM could have a word with the parents about keeping their kids on a tighter leash (figuratively speaking of course...)

 

[Lucky Snowball]

Older children I would get them to muck out and poo pick, tack clean, wash off dirty horse boots, sweep the yard, fill haynets etc etc. They will soon get fed up. If they are keen then they will quickly become useful. At this stage they could be promoted to grooming muddy ponies!

 

[meleeka]

6 and 3 is far too young to be unsupervised by the parent. I’d ask them to ensure the kids stay away from your horse because you are worried they’ll get hurt. I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all.

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

I literally ignore. There’s a young child on our yard and I refuse to get involved, plus the child is incredibly bloody rude. I’m not interested in entertaining someone else’s kid. If the child is in danger, I will help, otherwise, I avoid.

 

[Identityincrisis]

Why should she offer a child, of any age, her time if she doesn't wish to?! They are not hers to entertain. We pay a lot of money to do this, she shouldn't have to babysit if she doesn't wish to.

Op, i find a glowering stare in their direction cuts them off at the pass

 

[mariew]

They are only kids, they are just discovering the world. I'd just be polite and chat whilst doing chores. However if they are running around unsupervised near horses then take it up with the parent. It's dangerous!

I was on a yard where a 2 or 3 year old was left to wander around. He basically ran behind a horse in a rain outfit that rustled and was inches from getting his head kicked in. She proceeded to get pissed off with the dangerous horse (it wasn't, it got frightened and she wasn't paying attention). I don't think the mum ever got how close she was to losing her little boy. I have a little person, I would never leave her to wander about on a yard if it wasn't totally safe to let her do so.

 

[fredflop]

Why should she offer a child, of any age, her time if she doesn't wish to?! They are not hers to entertain. We pay a lot of money to do this, she shouldn't have to babysit if she doesn't wish to.

Op, i find a glowering stare in their direction cuts them off at the pass

totally agree with this. At one previous yard I really wasn’t interested in listening to the six year old trying to spout to rubbish at me whilst I’m dealing with my tricky horse.

it is often worse at riding schools. Parents watch the child that’s riding and seem to think it’s acceptable to let the others run around. same day with the same child. Leading one horse out of the American barn for massage treatment outside. (Nice day, much more pleasanter all round being outside. By pure chance I happened to turn around to find a six year old boy trying to stroke my horses belly, near the back legs whilst I was leading her. I think I said in no uncertain terms to, “Get away from my horse now.”

about half an hour later, child is obviously still bored. Comes over to massage lady and tries to start playing with her equipment. She told him to sod off as well.

 

[Pippity]

Older children I would get them to muck out and poo pick, tack clean, wash off dirty horse boots, sweep the yard, fill haynets etc etc. They will soon get fed up. If they are keen then they will quickly become useful. At this stage they could be promoted to grooming muddy ponies!

Why? My gear is expensive; I'm not letting a random kid mess around with it, especially as I'm going to have to show them how I want things done.

I'm simply not interested in interacting with kids. It's considered acceptable to want to avoid chatting with adults so you can concentrate on your horse. I'm not sure why I'm supposed to feel differently about kids who are, in general, far more annoying than adults.

 

[Lurfy]

I think parents need to be responsible for their children in this situation OP. The kids are 3 and 6, which is alarming in itself, that they wander around freely approaching strangers and horses. I have a 3 year old granddaughter who occasionally visits our barn. When in the barn she is with me the whole time holding my hand. I adore my grandchildren, but also respect the right of horse people to not be inconvenienced by them.

 

[Winters100]

I think there is a balance to be had here. The reality is that children do make noise, so unless you pick an adults only yard you need to put up with a certain amount. You say that they are 'screeching' when you ride, I'm afraid this just happens with young children, it is not really possible to keep them quiet all the time. Personally I don't mind at all if there is noise when I ride, because the horses need to get used to that. However 3 and 6 is very young to be unsupervised, so regarding them interacting with your horse in a way that you feel puts them in danger I would just have a word with the parent and tell them that you are worried for their safety. You also say that they kick your bedding around when you are mucking out, do they not stop if you just ask them kindly but firmly not to?

No one wants to be an unpaid babysitter to infants, but I also remind myself that, especially right now, the parents might also be having a really difficult time, and it costs me nothing to be kind. With older children it is easier, as Sport Horse said they can be jolly useful filling haynets etc, and I quite often give them a walk in hand on one of the horses while I am cooling them down if they have helped me (appreciate that in the UK you might not be able to do that because of liability issues).

Obviously if they are in danger the correct thing is to ask their parents to supervise more closely, but it sounds as if you just don't want to be around children in general. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, I get it, but the reality is that children do make noise, so I would have a look around for a yard where there are no children.

 

[PSD]

That’s the same age as my boys. I couldn’t imagine allowing them to roam around the yard unsupervised!

However my two are typical boys and are far more interested in you tube than horses

 

[Tiddlypom]

You say that they are 'screeching' when you ride, I'm afraid this just happens with young children, it is not really possible to keep them quiet all the time.

Children should not be allowed to 'screech' at inappropriate times, it is possible to train them not to. They must soon learn to use 'indoor voices' in certain settings eg, the yard, supermarket etc.

Young children running around a livery yard unsupervised is dangerous, not just annoying.

Btw I quite like children, I even had two of my own. But I didn't expect everyone else to love the little darlings.

 

[Winters100]

Btw I quite like children, I even had two of my own. But I didn't expect everyone else to love the little darlings.

This made me laugh - and yes it is true that we can't expect others to love (or even like) our children

I do think however that this last year has been so very difficult for so many people that we need to be a bit more tolerant of others at times. Obviously not in terms of allowing the children to be in danger, but if they are a bit noisy we can survive it. I did not take my own to the yard when they were small for this very reason, but I also recognise that not everyone is lucky enough to have someone at home to look after the children while they do their horses.

Its a shame that the children at OPs yard are not a bit older. My best helper is 13 and I am really grateful sometimes for the extra pair of hands. She is happy because I sometimes give her my schoolmistress to ride, her Mother is happy because I only speak to her in English, so her language skills have improved massively, and I am happy to have someone to help me poo pick and do all those annoying little jobs.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

When my children were young they were very well supervised and would never have touched a horse or anyone's bedding etc without permission. And they certainly wouldn't have pestered anyone. Some adults were friendly and they did chat and 'help' them. Others weren't and they steered well clear. Some adults had perfected the 'go away child' vibes which is absolutely fine. As you say its their place to relax. But it was a child friendly yard with pony campa and beginner lessons etc. They did play, laugh, run about. Not near horses but in other areas.
A very small minority of adults were intolerant in the extreme. Shouting at them. Telling them to be quiet. The 'its my place....' works both ways. Its their place to have fun too. Kids and ponies can be very giggly and loud. An adult only yard might suit some people better. I prefer now being on a more serious competition yard with no young children, personally.

 

[Flicker]

Livery yards and farms are hazardous environments at the best of times. Hence why my yard (and I suspect many others) have yard rules stating that ‘children under xxx years old must be supervised at all times‘. And that doesn’t mean by whoever happens to be around at the time. It means by the primary care-giver.

It is absolutely not the responsibility of liveries to facilitate the joyous adventure of learning in someone else’s children. If parents bring children to a livery yard environment, they must be prepared to supervise those children continuously or make suitable arrangements with someone willing to do this on their behalf.

Many of you have described really scarey near-miss events. What would be the consequences of someone else’s child potentially being seriously injured while they were ‘helping out’ another livery? Whose responsibility would that be? Not only would that be horrendous for the child and parents, but also for the person whose horse had potentially caused that injury.

And as for behaviour like shouting or running about being ‘just kids’, sorry I’ve seen many beautifully behaved young children on yards who wouldn’t dream of running or screeching around horses, who are always with their parents and who are left in no doubt about appropriate behaviour around horses. I don’t particularly like kids, but I always really enjoy being around these kids because they are sensible and mum and dad are always around too.

Yes, circumstances are really tough for a lot of people at the moment but unfortunately that does not mean that a livery yard becomes any safer as a proxy creche. Also, I get the whole ‘be kind’ approach, but parents should also be aware that their fellow liveries may be going through a lot themselves and often the chattering of small children is the last thing that they need. Last year, I had a horrendous time with work and ended up completely burning out. I didn’t have a horse at the time but if I had, the hour or so spent at the yard would probably have been the only time that I wouldn’t be having to have really difficult and traumatic conversations with people. The last thing I could have coped with at that point would have been someone else’s child wanting to ‘help’ me.