Flicker
Well-Known Member
And while I am thinking on, the safeguarding implications of children running loose around god-knows-who also makes my blood run cold a bit...
Children on yards
- Thread starter Mrs C
- Start date
Slightlyconfused
Go away, I'm reading
We have young childern on our yard but the parents keep them with them and they are not allowed to run a mock. If they want to speak to one of the other liveries then the parents ask if they can come over and ask them a question but they are never allowed to be rude, throw things, run and all the other stuff I see on other yards.
The yard is you happy place, you are not there to offer free child care.
Be polite and say you are busy and direct back to parents.
Otherwise speak to yard own about them. Not controlling their children as its a health and safety risk as well.
The yard is you happy place, you are not there to offer free child care.
Be polite and say you are busy and direct back to parents.
Otherwise speak to yard own about them. Not controlling their children as its a health and safety risk as well.
Griffin
Well-Known Member
I work in education so I spend a lot of time with children but I don't have my own and the yard is my quiet place. I totally sympathise with you OP, you shouldn't have to entertain children that don't belong to you.
I would speak to your YO from a safety perspective. Small children should not be running around unsupervised and if they were to get hurt, that would cause all sorts of difficult situations in terms of health and safety, safeguarding, insurance and legal stuff. If the children come up to you, I would just say politely that you are busy and offer to return them back to their parents.
I would speak to your YO from a safety perspective. Small children should not be running around unsupervised and if they were to get hurt, that would cause all sorts of difficult situations in terms of health and safety, safeguarding, insurance and legal stuff. If the children come up to you, I would just say politely that you are busy and offer to return them back to their parents.
CanteringCarrot
Well-Known Member
While kids do need to learn from adults and we should foster their interest in equine activities, they also need to learn that not every adult/person is there to entertain them and that sometimes, people want to be left alone.
I grew up at a very strict yard, so my behavior and that of other kids had to be on point. Very little tolerance, but it shaped me into a knowledgeable and respectful equestrian. If the kids have interest in horses, the parents should/could enroll them in lessons with an instructor. Even if it is just basic ground stuff to learn their way around horses and the yard. If that's not possible, the parent (IMO) needs to supervise their kid(s) and educate them about proper boundaries ans behaviors at the yard.
Now, I know that kids often have their own agenda and are not ways well behaved or easy, but I'm much more tolerant if I see that the parent is making a genuine effort.
It's not on me to deal with your kids. It's my place to relax and deal with my horse. If I have time and energy I'll interact, if not, it's "sorry, not today" but the kids at my yard are quite independent and well behaved (none are younger than 8 or 9 I think) and have all taken lessons so they can entertain themselves by fussing over a pony. Sometimes someone brings a non horsey kid but their kid stays by their side or goes outside with an iPad and does whatever quietly. So I'm really lucky at this yard that there are no issues.
It's not on you to interact with these kids. You could approach the yard owner about maybe clarifying rules when children are around and a well placed polite reminder to the group (if you have a group chat or something) to supervise their kids at all times might work, but I'm not sure. I know that having a kid is hard and so is balancing a horse and kid(s), but we all make our choices.
I grew up at a very strict yard, so my behavior and that of other kids had to be on point. Very little tolerance, but it shaped me into a knowledgeable and respectful equestrian. If the kids have interest in horses, the parents should/could enroll them in lessons with an instructor. Even if it is just basic ground stuff to learn their way around horses and the yard. If that's not possible, the parent (IMO) needs to supervise their kid(s) and educate them about proper boundaries ans behaviors at the yard.
Now, I know that kids often have their own agenda and are not ways well behaved or easy, but I'm much more tolerant if I see that the parent is making a genuine effort.
It's not on me to deal with your kids. It's my place to relax and deal with my horse. If I have time and energy I'll interact, if not, it's "sorry, not today" but the kids at my yard are quite independent and well behaved (none are younger than 8 or 9 I think) and have all taken lessons so they can entertain themselves by fussing over a pony. Sometimes someone brings a non horsey kid but their kid stays by their side or goes outside with an iPad and does whatever quietly. So I'm really lucky at this yard that there are no issues.
It's not on you to interact with these kids. You could approach the yard owner about maybe clarifying rules when children are around and a well placed polite reminder to the group (if you have a group chat or something) to supervise their kids at all times might work, but I'm not sure. I know that having a kid is hard and so is balancing a horse and kid(s), but we all make our choices.
AandK
Well-Known Member
No one should have to entertain someone else's children when at the yard if they don't want to, future of equestrianism or not.
I don't mind well supervised kids being on the yard, but it is 100% the responsibility of the parents to ensure they are kept safe and don't get in the way of other liveries. Having seen first hand the devastating consequences of allowing a small child to run around a yard, I cant understand why any parent would let such young children run loose.
I don't mind well supervised kids being on the yard, but it is 100% the responsibility of the parents to ensure they are kept safe and don't get in the way of other liveries. Having seen first hand the devastating consequences of allowing a small child to run around a yard, I cant understand why any parent would let such young children run loose.
LadyGascoyne
Well-Known Member
I would speak to the YO and to the parent.
3-6 is not an acceptable age to be running around a yard. If it is the parent’s private yard, that is up to them. If you are liveried at a riding school aimed at young children and set up to accommodate them safely, then it’s also to be expected.
If this is a professional livery yard then it is just asking for an accident or for everyone to be so worried about preventing one that they are unable to enjoy their own space there.
I can’t agree with the attitude of “when I was their age, I ran around horses.” When we were their age, the yard and other riders wouldn’t have been held liable for an accident or sued for negligence. If I asked a child to cool off Mimosa and she did something silly, I’d be at risk.
When I was seven, I caught and groomed the YOs show jumpers. I couldn’t do the tacking up because I couldn’t reach ? We don’t live in that world any more.
3-6 is not an acceptable age to be running around a yard. If it is the parent’s private yard, that is up to them. If you are liveried at a riding school aimed at young children and set up to accommodate them safely, then it’s also to be expected.
If this is a professional livery yard then it is just asking for an accident or for everyone to be so worried about preventing one that they are unable to enjoy their own space there.
I can’t agree with the attitude of “when I was their age, I ran around horses.” When we were their age, the yard and other riders wouldn’t have been held liable for an accident or sued for negligence. If I asked a child to cool off Mimosa and she did something silly, I’d be at risk.
When I was seven, I caught and groomed the YOs show jumpers. I couldn’t do the tacking up because I couldn’t reach ? We don’t live in that world any more.
holeymoley
Well-Known Member
I think a lot of the experiences here come down to lazy parenting. I used to hate kids at the yard. It was my peace and quiet time and hearing kids hollering across the yard and parents shouting at them really wasn’t my idea of fun.
However, I now have 2 of my own ?. That said, if they do have to come to the yard with me, they actually quite enjoy it, they have been told from a very young age that they must talk quietly and not run at all. We’re out of the pram/buggy stage so the eldest(7) will either stay in the car or he’ll sit outside the stable with a game/toy. Second one (3) is much more interested in being hands on, she loves them so she will help with everything, or she sits outside the stable too. It’s all about being 1 step ahead of them, especially when they’re younger.
I suppose depending on their age you could say to them ‘I’m quite busy why don’t you go and see what your mum/etc etc is doing’ and then swiftly ignore anything else. That may only work with a reasonably quiet child. Some are horrors. No way would mine touch anything that didn’t belong to me ? perhaps ask but they wouldn’t go and help theirselves to people’s equipment/tools.
eta- mine are never let out of sight and absolutely would never be left to run around ? nor would I expect anyone else to entertain them.
However, I now have 2 of my own ?. That said, if they do have to come to the yard with me, they actually quite enjoy it, they have been told from a very young age that they must talk quietly and not run at all. We’re out of the pram/buggy stage so the eldest(7) will either stay in the car or he’ll sit outside the stable with a game/toy. Second one (3) is much more interested in being hands on, she loves them so she will help with everything, or she sits outside the stable too. It’s all about being 1 step ahead of them, especially when they’re younger.
I suppose depending on their age you could say to them ‘I’m quite busy why don’t you go and see what your mum/etc etc is doing’ and then swiftly ignore anything else. That may only work with a reasonably quiet child. Some are horrors. No way would mine touch anything that didn’t belong to me ? perhaps ask but they wouldn’t go and help theirselves to people’s equipment/tools.
eta- mine are never let out of sight and absolutely would never be left to run around ? nor would I expect anyone else to entertain them.
FinnishLapphund
There's no cow on the ice
Based on the little current given info, I have to go with the benefit of doubt, in dubio pro reo, and agree with @Winters100 , perhaps a bit of leniency might be in order.
However, I wished you'd given us a bit more info, because it's different if the parent/parents owns the yard, if this is a yard which normally doesn't allow children but have made an exception due to e.g. Coronavirus/usual childcarer is ill etc, if no exceptions has been made but one or more parent/parents is bringing their children anyway, or if it is a yard which always allows children.
Or if the parent/parents is nice and helpful but possibly unaware about that their children is in your way, if the parent/parents thinks their children is the eight great wonders of the world who can do no wrong and everyone must adore them, or if the parent/parents thinks that they pay for their stable so they get to treat it as their yard... Or something in between.
To me, there's many answer variables, which depends on the lack of answers to the above. As it is, I'm going with the Children is allowed, and parents is nice, helpful but unaware - options. I suggest that you tell the children that your horse's stable is not a playground, that bedding should either be left alone or at the very least that it's the responsibility of the older children to make sure its returned to it's original state before they exit the stable, and work harder on letting out your inner grump so that the children starts avoiding you.
About the noise levels, you can only control yourself, view it as bombproof training, or buy earplugs to both yourself, and your horse. They use these on Trotters, both driven, and under saddle/monté , but there is also other examples of equine ear plugs.
However, I wished you'd given us a bit more info, because it's different if the parent/parents owns the yard, if this is a yard which normally doesn't allow children but have made an exception due to e.g. Coronavirus/usual childcarer is ill etc, if no exceptions has been made but one or more parent/parents is bringing their children anyway, or if it is a yard which always allows children.
Or if the parent/parents is nice and helpful but possibly unaware about that their children is in your way, if the parent/parents thinks their children is the eight great wonders of the world who can do no wrong and everyone must adore them, or if the parent/parents thinks that they pay for their stable so they get to treat it as their yard... Or something in between.
To me, there's many answer variables, which depends on the lack of answers to the above. As it is, I'm going with the Children is allowed, and parents is nice, helpful but unaware - options. I suggest that you tell the children that your horse's stable is not a playground, that bedding should either be left alone or at the very least that it's the responsibility of the older children to make sure its returned to it's original state before they exit the stable, and work harder on letting out your inner grump so that the children starts avoiding you.
About the noise levels, you can only control yourself, view it as bombproof training, or buy earplugs to both yourself, and your horse. They use these on Trotters, both driven, and under saddle/monté , but there is also other examples of equine ear plugs.
MagicMelon
Well-Known Member
If old enough, I would ask them to poo pick my paddock - brilliant! If younger than I would say to their mum that your horse tried to kick something the other day and you worry yours might kick them...
SEL
Well-Known Member
If a child was mucking about in my stable the response would be Out NOW. If their parents won't parent them properly then that's their issue but they can stay out of my space. I will tell them off for running down past the horses or making too much noise. I'm from a family of teachers so I have perfected the Don't F*** with me voice! I'm also excellent at staring down parents who can't believe that you just used that voice on their little badly behaved darling (even if they were climbing on the wobbly hay bales at the time).
I wasn't allowed to misbehave as a small child around horses and I don't see why parents think its OK to outsource supervision of their kids to whoever happens to be around. We've got some beautifully behaved kids at our yard (I ride out with one sometimes) and then a group of grandkids turn up who think its one giant play area - at which point my cross face and teacher voice rock up.
OP - the children will learn to keep their distance, you just have to develop thick skin with the parents.
I wasn't allowed to misbehave as a small child around horses and I don't see why parents think its OK to outsource supervision of their kids to whoever happens to be around. We've got some beautifully behaved kids at our yard (I ride out with one sometimes) and then a group of grandkids turn up who think its one giant play area - at which point my cross face and teacher voice rock up.
OP - the children will learn to keep their distance, you just have to develop thick skin with the parents.
AUB
Well-Known Member
Ok, while I still think it takes very little to be kind and make some kid’s day great, I also agree that a 3-year old should not roam freely around on a yard without supervision. If that really is the case, I’d talk to YO.
Pippity
Well-Known Member
Bear in mind that these aren't random, horse-loving kids who dream of having a pony of their own, etc., etc. (Even I'm nice to those kids. If I'm hacking and see a kid staring longingly at my horse, I'll ask them if they want to stroke her and all that. Or I did in the before times.) These are kids who have regular access to a horsey environment, who have at least one horsey parent, and who aren't remotely dependent on other people to get their horsey fix.
HappyHollyDays
Slave to a house cat, 4 yard cats and 2 ponies
Is it legal to tether children?
On a more serious note I will never forget watching a TV emergency ambulance programme a few years ago where a 3 year old girl was kicked in the head by a horse belonging to her mother who had momentarily lost sight of her. How the child survived I don't know but for all those parents who allow their children to run around livery yards unsupervised the programme should be compulsory viewing.
On a more serious note I will never forget watching a TV emergency ambulance programme a few years ago where a 3 year old girl was kicked in the head by a horse belonging to her mother who had momentarily lost sight of her. How the child survived I don't know but for all those parents who allow their children to run around livery yards unsupervised the programme should be compulsory viewing.
Littlebear
Well-Known Member
I have always loved kids around the yard, before I had any and at that time not wanting any I always found them a joy to have around and chat to and they loved 'helping out', I get some people aren't into having kids around though.
Obviously if you don't like it you need to make that clear to the parents that you don't so it doesn't affect your time there.
Obviously if you don't like it you need to make that clear to the parents that you don't so it doesn't affect your time there.
Mrs C
Well-Known Member
Thanks all for your replies. Some conflicting opinions but all interesting. I do chat with them sometimes but at the end of the day I work full time and my time at the yard is precious. I think I'll just have to be a bit firmer and ask them not to come in the stable or no they can't help do xyz. They have their own ponies to play with. I'll also speak to mum about the safety (but she does know as I'm forever saying 'don't walk next to xx back legs, dont throw that near the horses, don't stand there or you'll get stood on' etc etc
hollyandivy123
Well-Known Member
after turning round to find someone's older toddler "walking" under the belly of my horse................nope. for safety reasons the parent should be corralling them, if they are older and you don't mind then you need to set the ground rules with the parent, including that you have the final say.
yes kids need to get along with everyone, but a yard/farm is not a play ground and accidents do happen unfortunately
yes kids need to get along with everyone, but a yard/farm is not a play ground and accidents do happen unfortunately
dreamcometrue
Well-Known Member
In these litigious times I wouldn’t want a child around whilst dealing with my horse. If they are with you then you are the responsible adult.
I used to have kids hack out with me 15 years ago but that has all changed. That is how they could learn how to cope with roads and gates and riding in the wide world. Now they just go round and round in the indoor school. It’s sad but it is how it is now.
I used to have kids hack out with me 15 years ago but that has all changed. That is how they could learn how to cope with roads and gates and riding in the wide world. Now they just go round and round in the indoor school. It’s sad but it is how it is now.
SEL
Well-Known Member
A very tired friend with 2 boys under 10 was watching hers playing on the horse walker (no horses) and wondered out loud whether it would be OK to shut them in it and turn it on.
I had offered to lunge them for her
hollyandivy123
Well-Known Member
was this with or without putting on the electrical zap....................?A very tired friend with 2 boys under 10 was watching hers playing on the horse walker (no horses) and wondered out loud whether it would be OK to shut them in it and turn it on.
I had offered to lunge them for her
PinkvSantaboots
Well-Known Member
3 and 6 are young to be left running around wild, years ago one of the liveries had 3 girls twins of 12 and a girl of 6 they were lovely kids, I hacked with the older ones and the 6 year old followed me around everywhere and she wanted help, she helped me do feeds groom and give her a glove and bucket she happily skipped my stable out.
Loud rude horrible kids I can't tolerate I think I was lucky there as they were lovely kids to be around.
Loud rude horrible kids I can't tolerate I think I was lucky there as they were lovely kids to be around.
Scotsbadboy
Well-Known Member
Tell the mother your on 'a list' and cant be around kids .. honestly they will avoid you like the plague, lol Failing that growl at them and swear really loudly at every opportunity when they are near you .... hopefully the mother will be horrified your swearing loudly around the kids and will keep them away from you!
I put a wanted ad up for a livery a few years ago which clearly stated i disliked children intensely and so no children on my home yard. I removed the ad in the end, the abuse i got was unreal. Apparently i was a very bad man for not wanting children on my yard at my home, hahaa!
I have plenty more methods, just ask away, always happy to share with like minded people
Failing that growl at them and swear really loudly at every opportunity when they are near you .... hopefully the mother will be horrified your swearing loudly around the kids and will keep them away from you!I put a wanted ad up for a livery a few years ago which clearly stated i disliked children intensely and so no children on my home yard. I removed the ad in the end, the abuse i got was unreal. Apparently i was a very bad man for not wanting children on my yard at my home, hahaa!
I have plenty more methods, just ask away, always happy to share with like minded people
Winters100
Well-Known Member
You are right, that really is very sad. Seems that today if children do not have a horsey parent their options are really limited as adults (totally understandably) do not want to be responsible for them. Would have been very limiting for me as my Mother was disabled, so if I wanted to tag along with an adult for a hack then I had to do my best to be jolly useful to them so they would take me along. This was in the late 70s / 80s, but I guess that today I would be one of those going round and round in the school.
Where I live responsibility for children is much more focused on the parents. If a child is injured on the yard then the parent is responsible, because it is down to them to decide whether the child is in danger. If the key is left in the tractor and a child plays with it and injures themselves the parent is responsible as they should have been supervising. Likewise if I accompany a child hacking it is for the parents to decide if it is safe, and if there is an accident it is not my responsibility. Makes it much easier to let a child have a sit on my schoolmistress, she is as safe as a horse can be, but it is not a risk that I would want to take in the UK.
Toby_Zaphod
Well-Known Member
On our yard we don't have children. History dictates to us that when kids come to the yard they're a nuisance and their parents clear off & you end up baby sitting them. The yard is a dangerous place for a child to be running around unsupervised. Nearest thing to having children on the yard id when the YO has visits by her grand children, but they are well looked after.
cauda equina
Well-Known Member
I bet they'd love being on the walker!A very tired friend with 2 boys under 10 was watching hers playing on the horse walker (no horses) and wondered out loud whether it would be OK to shut them in it and turn it on.
I had offered to lunge them for her
My boys used to have hours of fun shutting each other in my mum's cattle crush
ArklePig
Well-Known Member
It's simple really, any child old enough to wander around a yard unsupervised is old enough to be told and understand 'please leave me and my horse alone he's not safe/is nervous/I'm too busy' any child young enough that you'd feel bad saying that to is too young to be wandering about without close parental supervision.
There's one on mine who always wanders into the indoor asks how long I'll be and when I say 'I'm not sure but you're welcome to ride in here also' just badgers me for a time. She's about 13 though so I've no issue politely telling her to leave me alone.
There's one on mine who always wanders into the indoor asks how long I'll be and when I say 'I'm not sure but you're welcome to ride in here also' just badgers me for a time. She's about 13 though so I've no issue politely telling her to leave me alone.
ILuvCowparsely
Well-Known Member
I am no maternal at all, and in general don't like kids around me, but with the kids I know at my yard now I am ok and even hack out with a 8 year old.
My yard has always been adults only, just the way it goes. One new livery last year with a young daughter now I have 2 children liveries and soon two more children and their friends. Now its a child friendly yard. Even with several sharer's Bering children just say children must be supervised , but when parents want to leave them for a bit they write a letter saying they take the risk and are fully responsible for them being on their own. Needles to say no under 10,s are left solo
Mrs C
Well-Known Member
You sound my kind of person haha!Tell the mother your on 'a list' and cant be around kids .. honestly they will avoid you like the plague, lol
I put a wanted ad up for a livery a few years ago which clearly stated i disliked children intensely and so no children on my home yard. I removed the ad in the end, the abuse i got was unreal. Apparently i was a very bad man for not wanting children on my yard at my home, hahaa!
I have plenty more methods, just ask away, always happy to share with like minded people
Hero**
Active Member
I guess it depends what you are looking for. I actually deliberately brought my newly broken mare to the busiest child friendly yard I know. There is a pretty constant hustle and bustle, kids running around and shouting, riding bikes etc. I wanted her to be exposed to as much noise and activity as possible before I brought her home. That way, she would be less likely to get the fright of her life when I take her out hacking alone from home. And also I thought it would emulate the hustle bustle of a warm up arena /local show scenario.
The difference is I suppose I chose to be there, and brought her home after 6 weeks. I'll probably go back occasionally though, I quite enjoy the activity around us.
The difference is I suppose I chose to be there, and brought her home after 6 weeks. I'll probably go back occasionally though, I quite enjoy the activity around us.
Wishfilly
Well-Known Member
OP, I'm with you to an extent. I'm a teacher, and in the week I'm usually sorting my horse in the evenings between leaving school and coming home to do more marking/planning etc- I don't have time to supervise other people's kids, and luckily no-one at my yard would expect me to. When I'm in less of a rush, I will chat to them, though. I wouldn't have them in my stable, and my pony very much doesn't like small children, so their parents know to keep them away. He's very obviously been teased by kids and is grumpy and defensive with them in a way he never is with adults.
That said, I don't mind how much noise they make, or if they get in my way when I'm pushing the wheelbarrow etc.
I would speak to the parent and say you don't want them to come into your stable anymore, and you don't want them touching your horse. Just say it matter of factly, and then enforce your rules. At 3 and 6, they really should be close to their parent at all times!
I do also wonder about the safeguarding implications of all of this- thinking about it, older children interacting with adults at a livery yard sounds like exactly the sort of situation that someone wishing to groom kids could easily take advantage of.
That said, I don't mind how much noise they make, or if they get in my way when I'm pushing the wheelbarrow etc.
I would speak to the parent and say you don't want them to come into your stable anymore, and you don't want them touching your horse. Just say it matter of factly, and then enforce your rules. At 3 and 6, they really should be close to their parent at all times!
I do also wonder about the safeguarding implications of all of this- thinking about it, older children interacting with adults at a livery yard sounds like exactly the sort of situation that someone wishing to groom kids could easily take advantage of.
S.AAnderson
Active Member
My girls are 3 & 5 and even though they love horses I rarely bring them to the yard with me - it just isn't a safe environment for them to be in even with constant supervision.
The last time they came up I actually left them watching Frozen on an iPad in the tack room- it gave me 30mins to change my horse's dressing & make up feeds
Once the kids are older and easier at taking instruction then its probably more acceptable.
The last time they came up I actually left them watching Frozen on an iPad in the tack room- it gave me 30mins to change my horse's dressing & make up feeds
Once the kids are older and easier at taking instruction then its probably more acceptable.