Children or horses?

I'm not a child fan either! Horses are far easier, as least I can leave the horse in a field for a quiet night ;)

SpottedCat, I have a friend who did the MK 3DE when her son was teeny, and ended up feeding him in the 10minute box! With the right help it is possible, but not something I would want to attempt!
 
Can I ask if anyone out there actually manages to compete at a decent level (BE Novice+), on a regular basis and also has small children?

This may be a myth, but I've heard many people say that your confidence can easily go after you've had children - with it being a dangerous sport, its not just you there to worry about any more.

So, even if you had the resources to have both (horses and kids) would you still want to compete in ODE's etc? Or would you be too drained and pre-occupied looking after the children that you then didn't have enough energy for the horses???
 
Racing Demon seems to do pretty well as mentioned in her reports!
 
Just because LEC loves hearing my mother in laws attempts to get me pregnant.....

I don't want children, just never been interested, My husband doesn't want children either - but his mum does - she is desperate for a Grandchild.

*Tip 1, do not ever marry the eldest son if you don't want kids.

My husband is South African and went back home for a holiday. He comes back to England and there is this leather thong around his arm. Its there a few days before I finally manage to get him to admit what it is.

His mum sent him to see a Witch Doctor in some african village and he performed a fertility ceremony on him. Part of which entailed him wearing this leather thong as a fertiltiy symbol. He flies all the way to england and never takes the thing off and only after I finally managed to get to admit what it was did he remove it.

All I will say is that my magic is far stronger than any African Witch Doctor's mojo.
 
Horses all the way for me. I dont think there has ever been a time when i wanted kids and all people keep saying to me is 'you will change your mind as you get older'. Well im getting older and i want them less and less! I've been with my oh for nearly 4 years, he doesnt want any so i dont get any pressure from him and i quite honestly enjoy my life.
I believe that im to selfish for kids, i like doing the things i want, when i want and for the reasons i want. Horses dictate enough but at least they are easier to fit in i think. I stress enough about the horse anyway, i think it would kill me having kids :p
The closest i've got to being maternial is wanting my friends Datshound puppy she had for sale, it was the cutest thing i have ever seen and i wanted him so badly but i work full time so it wasnt fair. Gutted :( :p
 
Personally have absoloutly no desire to have children - fuelled by knowing the hell me and my brother have put mother through :rolleyes:
 
There must be a link to do with ponies and not having babies as pretty much all my non-horsey friends want to be pregnant soon or in the future.

I have no interest. My bf of 4 years would like one, one day but Im not convinced. I just like everything how it is, we have a nice life and do nice things. My mum would love me to have one and jokingly I said to her the other day (when she was pestering me about it) "fine Ill have one, but you have to look after it all the time" her response was "ok" :eek:

I got broody for baby ponies so when I had a smart and useful enough mare I ventured into that. I have had 2 now. I blubbed like a loser when I saw a 14 day pregnancy blob inside my mare and again 14 days later when I saw my blobs heart beating. Thats what normal people must be like with babies in their tummys!

My mum did say that she felt I would be missing out on a very special thing if I didnt have one but she understands that its probably only great grand foals for her!!
 
I spent 6 months as an au pair in Switzerland for 4 children under the age of 5, on my return swore I would NEVER have children, they put me off for life :eek:

Everyone said I would change my mind but I never will, I have no maternal instinct and whilst I have no burning desire to breed horses either I enjoy my life and am now way too selfish and set in my ways for a child to fit into my lifestyle ;)
 
I'm shocked how many of you seem to think having children means your life is over! It's quite the opposite in my experience, so long as you only breed what you can afford to keep (imagine saying that anywhere else than HHO!).
 
im too selfish to have kids and dont even like them anyhow!....

id rather have a foal (and will have one day)!.... and another dog (planned for 2 years away) :D

so no kids thanks.... horses/dogs and a career for me :D
 
Ignition said:
I'm shocked how many of you seem to think having children means your life is over! It's quite the opposite in my experience, so long as you only breed what you can afford to keep (imagine saying that anywhere else than HHO!).
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That's the point though really for me - I don't think we could afford children and a horse for me.....and the means by which said child would be looked after whilst I indulged my pony-passion. Plus I am in no way willing to give up riding for circa a year whilst I cook the thing and then do the post-cooking care only the mother can do!

I've seen with friends how it changes your life - which is fine if you're ok with that - but right now I'm not. I also have a friend who wanted kids, and is a real case of be careful what you wish for.....which has also put me off, because I don't want them nearly as much as she did.

I think if our income were higher (and it really isn't shabby, but it's not 'working in the city' money), I'd be less put off to be fair. I do think it is a complete myth that you can keep the same lifestyle as before though - unless you're loaded. None of my friends have managed it and they are all people who have reasonable incomes at the bottom of the higher tax bracket.
 
I have never had the urge to have children, I knew I loved my horses, but only hoped/expected I would love my children, but felt they would impinge on the quality of care I wanted to give my horses, plus when my existing horse retired, I had to make the choice of a 2nd horse that I could compete, or keeping one semi retired one and having children..... Think that decision took about 10 seconds......
Seriously though, all my friends that seemed to make it work, had either, very hands on family, an other half that was around a lot, or money for help. I def didn't have either of the former, and for the latter, know I find it hard having other people look after my horses, so would prob be as bad with my children, so all in all it didn't sound like a very workable situation......
 
I am incredibly lucky in loads of ways. I have two beautiful girls (7 and 3 years) and they are great kids. They aren't at all bratty either! I cant stand bratty kids and mine HAVE to toe the line. I would never be without them for the world, but when I was in my twenties I would have laughed my pants off if someone had said that I'd end up with two. I also have a fantastic support and back-up team - my mum and mum-in-law are both a stones throw away in the same village, and it gives me complete freedom to do whatever I like with Williaml. I am also lucky because hubby has superb job, earns an extremely good wage, enabling us to spoil the kids and the horse! :)
 
I have managed to do both :) I have always bred the odd foal so when I was pregnant I put the mares in foal.

I always swore I would never have children, of course I love my own, and we are lucky enough to be able to afford both children and horses.

You can do both, and I compete regularly BE, you obviously have to be very committed, but I think horsey people generally are anyway. I have brought my children up to be quite independent, children will fit into your lifestyle, they are just getting to the age where they can help me (8 and 10) so it can only get better :D
 
I am also quite shocked that people would rather a horse over their own flesh and blood child? You can have both!!

I really want children, I'm starting to feel more maternal and starting a family is something I want to do in the not too distant future! I have met my man and we are finically secure so that helps.

I won't give up my horse though!! No way, not ever. My mum had horses when she had me and my sister and my happiest childhood memories are playing at the stables and having fun with my ponies. I want to give my children the same life. I'm also very close to my family, I spend a lot of time with my mum, we ride and compete together and I'd love to have a relationship like that with my child.

My dream in life is to have a beautiful house, an OH that loves me, horses and children. I imagine leading my child down a country lane on their pony and having lots of kids and horses :).

It's only recently I've started to feel ready though and I suppose everyone is different. I see children as adding to my life, not taking away. A child won't ever stop me playing with my horses, they can join in! :)
 
So glad there are so many likeminded people out there! Never wanted kids and finding it hard being an aunt to my brother's five when I really really dont actually like kids under 7 at all! And guess what ..... I breed foals!
I get a bad name of being selfish etc at not wanting to visit my nieces/nephews often and hearing baby talk ALL the time but I never force people to come and drool over my foals!
I also dont like the thought of PHYSICALLY having a baby - I cant get my head around it and I suppose I am scared it would alter my body and physical relationships etc.
I have SO much love to give to my animals (horses and cats) and i would actually consider adopting/fostering an older child but actually having one turns me cold!
I think actually another MAJOR factor is that horses and cats are "QUIET"! That's it!
 
Another vote for both here. I never had a big maternal instinct or moment when the biological clock kicked in but had a vague notion that I didnt want to get old & not ultimately have a family. Hence the 'prevention' got a bit vague in a slight testing the water kind of way & hey presto was pregnant. Throughout my pregnancy I still proclaimed I prefered puppies & foals but my word the arrival of my daughter has completely changed my outlook - she is absolutely wonderful. Honestly you have no idea how different children/babies are when they are yours.:);)

Ok, I have had to compromise a little bit on the horse front. I have given my advanced horse (I evented him at OI level) to a friend to ride and I am concentrating on my young (er) horse who is starting out at BE90 level which is a bit more do-able with limited time. I also manage to do quite a bit of the producing of my OH's horse who will be eventing at Intermediate level this year. I have had to make the odd sacrifice to my stable management/training regime to fit everything in and supportive parents, in-laws & friends are an absolute must.

We are off eventing tomorrow, 5 hour journey with myself & OH both riding, 7 month old baby in close attendance & sainted friend roped in for baby-sitting/grooming duty:eek::D:D
 
Hmmm, tricky one. I suspect that many of those answering "I never want kids" are a good bit younger than me. Some I know the ages of, others I don't. I'm 36, and if you'd asked me 10 or even 5 years ago, that's what I'd have said. Now? Well things change. All our friends have kids, and OH and I both have fairly new nephews; the more time we spend with these cool little people, the more our plans change. I'd rather not give up my horses, and am fairly sure I won't have to, but I'm now at the stage where I realise that, temporarily, it wouldn't be the end of the world. But if there was one "type" of person who can make it work, it would be horsey folk. We're used to the responsibility, the poverty, the hard work, the poo, the worry, sleepless nights, the bad behaviour, and the lack of social life ;)

The one main blocker at the moment is that my (non horsey) OH wants me to promise that I'll sell them if/when the time came. I'm only prepared to commit to "if I can't cope, I'll sell"; but bearing in mind one of my horses is injured right now and likely to become an un-sellable field ornament at best. Luckily we have land, as does my Mum, so worst case she can become a field ornament elsewhere temporarily. I do know it's temporary though - I'd never give up the dream entirely for kids, as I know for me that would turn me into a bad parent, not a better one. OH and I have well paying jobs; but as we earn equal money, I'd have to go back to work F/T. I'm under no illusions that doing all this would be hard; but hey what's new :rolleyes:.
 
Well having twice unsuccesfully failed on the children front my OH at the time and myself after walking out of the hospital yet again having suffered at some shocking service from the NHS looked at each other and said will we just breed dogs and horses? So I went out and bought a pony the next day and we successfully bred black labs and springer spaniels.It was probably the reason why we parted to be honest but now so many years down the line I don't look back and say what if and my horses are not substitute children I have just come to realise it will now never happen at the age I am and to be honest have no hankering for it as do not want to ever see inside a maternity ward again. On the other hand if couldn't have my horses that's a different story :D:D:D
 
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FlyingCoo said:
Well having twice unsuccesfully failed on the children front my OH at the time and myself after walking out of the hospital yet again having suffered at the some shocking service from the NHS looked at each other and said will we just breed dogs and horses? So I went out and bought a pony the next day and we successfully bred black labs and springer spaniels.It was probably the reason why we parted to be honest but now so many years down the line I don't look back and say what if and my horses are not substitute children I have just come to realise it will now never happen at the age I am and to be honest have no hankering for it as do not want to ever see inside a maternity ward again. On the other hand if couldn't have my horses that's a different story :D:D:D
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FC - sorry to hear that :(. But you are younger than me, so I'm choosing to ignore part of what you said :o

Anyway, if you are going to breed horses - you need mares :D
 
I've never reallly wanted children, would of been happy with a few shetties but seeing as i'll have 3 kids in about 20 weeks looks like thats not going to happen.
I'm hoping i'll continue to keep horses, I could always get the shetties for the little'uns :D
 
I think that the comments from some calling children "Brats" is unkind. There are Brats about, just as there are horrible grown-ups too. Brats are not born, they are made. Nobody gives you an encyclopedia of how to bring up your child. The better mothers and fathers read, research, ask other successful parents BUT not everyone is educated or intelligent(!)

If you have no maternal or paternal instinct in you then you CANNOT empathize with those of us who have do.

You simply cannot understand the absolute love you have for your own child. I HAVE had horses before I married and I can empathize with those who have them (also had dogs/cats and a whole menagerie). Having children is whole other level of love.
I would rather be in pain than see my children in pain. I would truly die for them - this is just something lots of childless couples cannot understand.
 
I agree will millreef you simply cannot imagine how you will feel when you have children. I always said I never wanted them but I have now got a 15month old and it's amazing!! She's so much fun and loves the horses. I keep my horse at home as we have a farm so that makes life easier and I still manage to ride 6 days a week with baby in tow. I also find it unkind to call children brats my daughter certainly isn't one and won't be allowed to become one either.
 
moody_mare said:
I've never reallly wanted children, would of been happy with a few shetties but seeing as i'll have 3 kids in about 20 weeks looks like thats not going to happen.
I'm hoping i'll continue to keep horses, I could always get the shetties for the little'uns :D
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THREE Oh, my word. Good luck :eek::):D
 
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