Confidence Building - Rider

[eahotson]

Kelly Marks is interesting on this.She thinks some riders that have had a bad fall or maybe a series of smaller incidents or whatever get PTSD.She says if you are riding down a busy road on a newly broken horse, have ill fitting tack and no hat and you are frightened then you are right to be frightened.If on the other hand you are riding in a safe area, on a safe horse and with all the necessary clothing and equipment and you are still scared then you may well have PTSD.
I had a horse that scared me a lot of a period of a couple of years.Eventually I sold him and bought a saint.I was riding the saint (and he was) and suddenly I felt as though I was in the midst of a very violent spook.I didn't think he might spook I actually felt as though he was.It was only for a split second or so and he just kept plodding on quite safely.

 

[dorsetladette]

Kelly Marks is interesting on this.She thinks some riders that have had a bad fall or maybe a series of smaller incidents or whatever get PTSD.She says if you are riding down a busy road on a newly broken horse, have ill fitting tack and no hat and you are frightened then you are right to be frightened.If on the other hand you are riding in a safe area, on a safe horse and with all the necessary clothing and equipment and you are still scared then you may well have PTSD.
I had a horse that scared me a lot of a period of a couple of years.Eventually I sold him and bought a saint.I was riding the saint (and he was) and suddenly I felt as though I was in the midst of a very violent spook.I didn't think he might spook I actually felt as though he was.It was only for a split second or so and he just kept plodding on quite safely.

I think the Karl Greenwood explanation of the difference between fear and danger is a game changer for me. Makes me really think about the way I process things.

I'm glad you have found a horse that suits you.

I honestly haven't had any kind of scare or incident. I've just been lucky enough to have a very long term sound pony, which is my downfall now I feel.

 

[Annagain]

I think the Karl Greenwood explanation of the difference between fear and danger is a game changer for me. Makes me really think about the way I process things.

I'm glad you have found a horse that suits you.

I honestly haven't had any kind of scare or incident. I've just been lucky enough to have a very long term sound pony, which is my downfall now I feel.

Yes, that change after a long time on the one (or two in my case) horse whom you know inside out and can tell if they're going to take a dislike to something 30 seconds before they do is really hard. Do you have friends whose horses you know well (even if you haven't ridden them) who would let you have a sit to see how you feel on them? A friend let me ride her horse (I'd known him 15 years but never sat on him) and because I'd seen him being ridden so often and knew he wasn't going to do anything, I was more than happy on him. He was far more forwards and joggy than I expected but I loved him and that's what made me realise Charlie was not the one for me as I'd have been in bits had Charlie done that (the irony is he never did but I still wasn't happy on him.)

 

[dorsetladette]

Yes, that change after a long time on the one (or two in my case) horse whom you know inside out and can tell if they're going to take a dislike to something 30 seconds before they do is really hard. Do you have friends whose horses you know well (even if you haven't ridden them) who would let you have a sit to see how you feel on them? A friend let me ride her horse (I'd known him 15 years but never sat on him) and because I'd seen him being ridden so often and knew he wasn't going to do anything, I was more than happy on him. He was far more forwards and joggy than I expected but I loved him and that's what made me realise Charlie was not the one for me as I'd have been in bits had Charlie done that (the irony is he never did but I still wasn't happy on him.)

Yes, several people have offered. I've ridden one, but was set up to fail as saddle kept slipping and girth was to long, felt really uneasy even though pony didn't do anything.

The others are the steady eddy pony club pony types, so might ask if I can hack them a couple of times now I'm trying to think differently to feed my subconscious with positive thoughts rather than the negative impending doom which my over thinking brain has been feeding it.

 

[dorsetladette]

Quick up date!

HHO collective have been brilliant again.

I've been on the Health and Her supplement for a while now. The difference is impressive. I highly recommend these to anyone in need.
I've lost nearly 1 stone which has made the world of difference to my general self confidence. And stressful situations in my family life are slowly resolving.
I've read the Karl Greenwood book mentioned before and it has really changed my thought process.
I've ridden a few different ponies belonging to friends and felt completely differently about it. Not constantly worrying about hitting the deck etc.
I've even leant over Robin last week. I'll only be backing him slowly over the spring/summer, but I like to introduce things slowly so they can process it. It's worked well so far with him.

As I lost B in October our herd of 4 is now 3. And while we have noticed a huge saving on hay and poo picking is so much easier. 3 won't work once we start showing and livery lady is out at pony club etc. So I'm thinking of loaning an older steady eddy for the summer to hack, have fun and baby sit.

I'm starting to feel like my old self again. Which I didn't realise I wasn't before.

Onwards and upwards!!! Thanks guys!

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Great update! Glad to hear things are starting to move in the right direction. I have also found Karl's book and videos to be very helpful and instil hope that I can do stuff make things better. Roll on Spring and Summer!

 

[southerncomfort]

Fantastic! Very happy for you!

 

[Maxidoodle]

I just wanted to re-ignite this thread, I’ve just received the Karl Greenwood book and have got just a quarter of the way through it and already I’m feeling more confident. I am really understanding my own thought process much more and it’s really making me think about how to deal with my worries. I bought it after it was recommended on here a number of times and it’s definitely worth getting. I like his light hearted way of writing too, makes it a really easy and interesting read. Anyone tempted, do get it, treat yourself. I also bought I hope it rains by H U Owen, that was recommended on Amazon and I’ll tuck into that once I’ve finished the Karl Greenwood.

 

[dorsetladette]

I just wanted to re-ignite this thread, I’ve just received the Karl Greenwood book and have got just a quarter of the way through it and already I’m feeling more confident. I am really understanding my own thought process much more and it’s really making me think about how to deal with my worries. I bought it after it was recommended on here a number of times and it’s definitely worth getting. I like his light hearted way of writing too, makes it a really easy and interesting read. Anyone tempted, do get it, treat yourself. I also bought I hope it rains by H U Owen, that was recommended on Amazon and I’ll tuck into that once I’ve finished the Karl Greenwood.

He's brilliant isn't he!

I've started following him on facebook too. His humor makes me giggle.

Let me know how you get on with I hope it rains.

 

[Maxidoodle]

Yes, he’s really good. I laughed out loud a few times as he was so spot on with things.

Will do, I’ll be reading it soon as I can’t put Karl’s book down

 

[southerncomfort]

When I was reading the book I had an image of the knights galloping down the hill towards the battlefield, with me and my little Fell pony bringing up the rear!

 

[Maxidoodle]

When I was reading the book I had an image of the knights galloping down the hill towards the battlefield, with me and my little Fell pony bringing up the rear!

I’ll join you on my mare, the first thing I thought was I need to go and see that place.

 

[Maxidoodle]

Well, the Karl Greenwood book was just a revelation. So much so, I’ve been looking at his courses he runs in Hemel Hempstead. I even sneaked the book into work with me and finished it, as I just couldn’t put it down.


the other book “I hope it rains“ by HU Owen, I’ve really struggled with. tried to read it yesterday afternoon and again last night and this morning, to be fair, she started to lose me in the Foreword when she describes ponies and horses as “naughty” and anthropomorphises them, after 3 attempts I made it to just page 13. It Just didn’t capture my interest and draw me in, perhaps it was just her style of writing that doesn’t appeal to me. I read some of the lower star ratings on Amazon and totally agree with them. The Karl Greenwood book is definitely a keeper and highly recommend it to everyone.

 

[Quigleyandme]

You are far from alone. I completely lost my confidence after falling from one of my young horses and sustaining six displaced pelvic fractures last June. My body healed very quickly and completely despite being in my mid sixties but my mind has been wrecked. Yesterday I got on the 18hh four year old I came off and walked around the arena of doom (the scene of the accident) with a huge smile on my face. I even managed a few strides of trot. This was because a very kind, understanding, non-judgmental coach was there to help me. Finding the right person, whether on or off the saddle, is key. If you have friends in the “get a grip or do it this way“ camps as I do who are unintentionally upsetting you don’t be afraid to shut them down. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. ETA Just realised this is an old thread. Sorry. X