Confidence in shreds, advice on what to do?

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I have been away from my riding school for around 6 or 7 months due to having other horses to ride, and have returned tonight for a lesson with my instructor who has taught me for nearly 4 years. For one reason or another I haven't cantered regularly and jumping has been non existent since I left the riding school.

I left this riding school as a confident rider, capable of jumping a small course, riding a decent dressage test and able to go round a small cross country course with no problems at all.

Tonight's lesson started off with flatwork which went well so we popped a small cross pole up. It's become evident that my jumping ability has gone completely out of the window as I haven't jumped for a number of months. It's completely demoralised me, the best part of 3 years' jumping lessons have gone to pot and we are back at square one. I actually nearly cried during my lesson I felt that low.

My question, do you carry on riding other people's horses more regularly (i.e. 3 or 4 times a week) , or go back to the riding school for a 1 hr lesson each week and build your confidence back up? I really don't know who to ask advice from, am at rock bottom and just don't know what to do
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Many thanks.
 
could you ride other horses for good experience + have lessons on those? im sure your just a little rusty + all will be fine again once your memory is refreshed, but you will need an instructor who is willing to boost your confidence! with the right instructor + horses you will regain your confidence, dont let this little hiccup put you off!
 
Forgot your bad lesson and move on, put it down as a learning experience. Go somewhere else and try jumping a different horse. Some horses really dont help, especially riding school types!
 
Don't be too demolarised, reading your post I think I am right in saying you have only had one lesson.

Seems to me that to jump on the first lesson when you have a long break would be pushing it for most people, I think you need to concentrate on flat lessons until you are fully confident and then slowly start jumping again.

I bet then your confidence will come flooding back, you are after all only human.
 
I lost my confidence about 6mths after getting George, before him I had only ever ridden at a riding school and thought I was reasonably confident/ competent. Despite having lessons I began to doubt my ability to stay on, ride a big horse, canter, jump etc etc. My lessons have been a godsend, as has help from friends at my yard, and slowly oh so slowly we are getting there. We had to go back to basics, at one point a trotting pole or a canter pole could reduce me to tears! But last month we jumped a 2ft SJ course. I don't suppose I will ever be confident, but working on my jumping and cantering is helping.

I am not sure if that is any help as I appear to be rambling, but I really couldn't of managed with out regular lessons and advice.
 
Flatwork is fine, I've been riding on the flat regularly (3 or 4 times a week) since I left the riding school. I haven't had a break from horses at all
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I think it's just being out of practise, but to be honest I can't see it getting much better with the current set up of riding that I have...
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Yes but rereading your post you say you havn't cantered regularly!

Are you totally confident cantering on the flat, if you are then you need to start jumping but small, may be poles at first building up to grids, bet your confidence soon comes back!

You know you can do because you did it before.
 
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but to be honest I can't see it getting much better with the current set up of riding that I have...
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There's your answer, my love - could you lease a riding school horse and ride there regularly instead?
 
Yes am fine cantering on the flat, out hacking too. I haven't cantered regularly because the horse I ride isn't ready to canter IMO, needs work in trot still before we put canter into the equation.

I know I can do it, my instructor knows I can do it, I think tonight it just hit home that possibly it isn't the right horse for me. The last lesson I had at the riding school was out on the cross country course, we flew it!! And now we're back to square 1 because of no practise
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Aww its only one lesson and I seriously doubt that your confidence or ability has gone forever! Lots of us have wobbles sometimes too!
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Could you rise your non-RS horse 3-4 times a week and have a weekly lesson on the things you can't do with the green horse?

It does come back and it doesn't take forever - promise!
 
it sounds to me as if the horse isn't right. a good schoolmaster makes it easy for you, and gives you huge confidence. i'd have a good chat with your instructor, explain that you feel this lesson really dented your confidence, and ask if there's a more confidence-giving horse that you could ride next time. if this works, i'd keep the next lesson simple, work on basics, do some cantering, build your confidence back up slowly. if that's good, pop fences the next time. very best of luck!
 
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It's completely demoralised me, the best part of 3 years' jumping lessons have gone to pot and we are back at square one.



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It might feel like that now, but the lessons haven't gone to pot, I promise. You just need to give yourself time to get back into the swing of things, don't pressurise yourself and it will come flooding back without you even realising. Everything you learned is still there, you just need to work out how to tap into it again. I lose my confidence when jumping very easily, but when it happens I just back off and do some things I find easy, and can then work back to where I was when I had the problem.

I would be inclined to stick with the lessons. Even if you can't have them as regularly as you could ride the other horses, I think you might get more out of it. But don't beat yourself up about it - just relax into jumping and you'll be making progress before you know it.

Does your instructor know how you feel? I always think you should be able to be honest with your instructor, and feel at ease to let them know when you are worried. That way they can approach the lessons accordingly, which is essential - if you feel over-faced then you won't get much from the lesson.

Chin up, it'll all fall into place again.
 
Thankyou
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I think you're right. Just to clarify it's not the riding school horse that dented my confidence, the horse I rode today was a star!! It's the horse I've been riding outside of the riding school
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The ideal situation would be to keep having lessons and ride the horse outside of the riding school, but both options cost money and I can only afford 1 option at the moment. Thankyou for all your advice, sorry for over reacting a little at the beginning, now have cleared my head a little and have decided what to do
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ETA: Yes my instructor knows how I feel, told her all tonight. She probably knows me best when it comes to riding and said to find a horse that I am confident cantering and jumping, as she knows I can do it. There was a positive from tonight, apparently my position hasn't gone to pot as I thought it had
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I would be tempted to go back to the RS for a lesson or two, but keep on riding the other horse as well. I suffer terribly with jumping nerves, despite loving it as well and when I have a day like you've had, I have to go back a few steps to something that I don't find daunting. I haven't got over my nerves yet but I am finding that the more I do, the smaller the little steps back get - does that make sense?

I find that when I have a bad day, I have to go back to something in my comfort zone, even if just for a few minutes, to remind myself I can still do it. I can't go to instructors who don't understand or who just push and push (or even worse, ones who berate you for being nervous!); I have to go to someone who will understand and who pushes me, but also will let me take a step back. Can you explain that to your instructor and see what s/he says?

Hope you get it sorted, nerves are horrible!
 
Is there any way you could keep George at the riding school and have lessons on him there? I've done this with a horse I bought, sh was nothing like the confidence giver she was advertised at and I came close to parting with her. Just a few months on a very good instructor has taught BOTH of us and we are making very steady progress, building up confidence in each other as we go.
 
riding school horses are a different kettle of fish to real horses, many people struggle with the initial jump from 'professional' teachers to riding horses who you have to teach....if you know what I mean.

Is there any way you can have lessons on the horse you are riding? This will better encourage your confidence and riding. I would also reccoment sharing just one horse and developing a bond, not riding several...

From someone who has lost there confidence (I went from jumping BSJA junior level to freaking out at a cross pole) I can honestly say you have to find a safe horse you get along with, kick on and get on with it.
 
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