Considering selling Sam

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Totally agree there is nothing easier than a really young baby .

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I don't know what that says about me as a mother then as I haven't found much about having a really young baby 'easy'
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the horse wont suffer having 6 months off.

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Hell no, he's loving it lol! Lazy toad
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Sam's not lazy - he's just energetically challenged
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noooooo, don't sell him
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, you are just all baby blued out
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! i would seriously try and find a lovely sharer for the winter, he doesn't need to be out their strutting his hooves everyday, a relaxed year will not kill him and you should stop beating yourself up, i have shared and loaned horses for busy people, and i bet there are mums with older kids who would jump at the chance to help out and ride occasionally
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, go to you local tack shop and chat to the owner, see if they know anyone - my friend with a tack shop always has people asking for rides and riders, its just our silly human guilt
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that thinks we are not doing enough, Sam will just be happy with food,shelter and attention - i know this cause he has the same name as me and thats all i care about!!!
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noooooo, don't sell him
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, you are just all baby blued out
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!

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Oh dear I am sounding a right misery aren't I lol! I'm not really, I am very happy honest! Just tough figuring out what to do for the best.

Asking at a tack shop is a very good idea!
 
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Totally agree there is nothing easier than a really young baby .

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I don't know what that says about me as a mother then as I haven't found much about having a really young baby 'easy'
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Please don't beat yourself up. When you have a new baby it isn't just the baby your dealing with but your whole life changing and there is nothing easy about that. Just getting up and washed seemed beyond me some days. Do you have people around you who you can talk to?
 
You've had lots of good advice already! For what its worth here's mine:
I have three kids (16, 11 and 8). I rode though each pregnancy and started riding again as soon as I could after each one (I had two ceaserians). To give me a bit of freedom I bought a long distance baby monitor and once each baby was in a routine I would work out how long i'd have between feeds so that Id have around 1-2 hours. Then I would feed, change and drive car to yard. Normally baby would sleep in car on journey up!
Once there, would strap monitor to me so I could hear if baby woke and then would catch my horse, flick over with a brush, tack up and ride within vision of baby who'd either be in the car or buggy. If it woke up then I'd call it a day. It didn't always work out that I'd ride, BUT being out in the fresh air was great for the baby and me and even if I just pushed buggy next to the horses for a walk, I relaxed and felt better when back at home.
I knew I was being very selfish and but I knew I needed the space too. There was one occasion when I left my eldest daughter when she was 5 months in her car seat at the yard ....but that's another story! LOL
Stick with it- it'll work out in the end, you just have to work out how.
 
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Totally agree there is nothing easier than a really young baby .

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I don't know what that says about me as a mother then as I haven't found much about having a really young baby 'easy'
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Please don't beat yourself up. When you have a new baby it isn't just the baby your dealing with but your whole life changing and there is nothing easy about that. Just getting up and washed seemed beyond me some days. Do you have people around you who you can talk to?

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I totally know what you mean about the getting washed and dressed bit lol, although I'm pleased to say that stage feels like a long time ago now already!

I haven't found it easy but that is not to say I haven't enjoyed it
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(well, most of the time
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) They are tiny for such a short time, I cherish my time with him. Like poppymoo says- good days, bad days and all the rest!
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You have just described my exact strategy!!!!!!!!!! Worked very well a few times but the last 2 times I tried it didn't work at all... hmmm I might have to try it again one day...
 


I haven't found it easy but that is not to say I haven't enjoyed it
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(well, most of the time
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) They are tiny for such a short time, I cherish my time with him. Like poppymoo says- good days, bad days and all the rest!
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Glad to see your smiling now! Yep good days ,bad days bit like with horses really. And when all else fails a very large glass of wine and chocolate works wonders
 
Yes there will be times when it wouldn't work out for me- one of mine suffered from colic and she could scream for England. However, when it happened it wouldn'tve mattered where I was - home or yard. Give it another go; but don't beat yourself out if the 'strategy' doesn't happen as there will be another time.
 
i think a sling/baby carrier would be really go for you, start with him in his pushchair and when he screams put him in the sling and then you will still have hands free.

can you drive your car onto the yard. i used to find she was asleep when i got to the yard but moving into pushchair would wake her up and that was it, so i would put car in yard so i could see and hear her is she woke up. i found most the time i could get everything done and she was still asleep. depend on your set up though
 
Second the sleeping baby in the car thing----great idea!!

I also second the VERY large glass of wine thing.....

Also keep a sense of humour, a sense of proportion and stop and take a deep breath every now and again...the chores get done (eventually),...then they need doing again.

No-one ever died of wrinkly clothes or fluff on carpet (this I find hard to ignore, I have a bit of a clean floor fetish which doesn't stop at home, I have to have perfectly clean yard floor also!!!).....your son will grow up smelling of horse-poo and will be able to name pieces of tack and equipment before he goes to school..what an education!!!
 
Large glasses of wine have actual magical powers don't they
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Thanks everyone for all the kind words and advice, I really do appreciate it
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Think I'm going to give doing things with baby in tow another bash, and keep on the lookout for someone to help out at the same time.

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I would give yourself a little more time.

11 weeks is very young and you're both still finding your feet. Before you know it, you'll have settled into a routine and life will seem easier.

Things do get easier the older they get. The naps are fewer but longer, they can feed themselves, they can entertain themselves.

Yes they are more mobile, but you're not going to be spending 24/7 at the yard with baby crawling around the floor.

I have a two year old and I'm pregnant with my second. I have sold my horse but it's for financial reasons. I used to time being at the yard at sleep time. She would have two sleeps, one in the morning, one in the afternoon of around 1 to 2 hours at a time - plenty of time to get things done. If I wanted to ride, I timed it with a nap time and left her with her dad.

Once she started walking, I took her to the yard and she still goes to my SiL's yard. She is being taught how to act around horses, not to go near their legs, how to stroke them, not to shriek and run around. She helps mucking out, filling nets and feed buckets - she loves it.

I've taken her to shows at my SiL's yard and again she's taught the above. Even though she's only just over 2, we can take her to a show and be confident that she'll enjoy it and be safe.

When my new baby is here, I'll still ride, I'll help out at the yard and I'll organise it around my children.

It may end up being the right decision for you to sell, but I think now isn't the right time to do anything.
 
Thanks very much Mollywops, I feel much more positive having read that.

He is starting to settle into more of a routine and you are right, once he has a routine for naps etc it will be easier to plan things
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Give yourself a chance!
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At 11 weeks you have almost reach the turn round point but it is also the hardest as we put pressure on ourselves at this point to get back to normal. My horse stayed away until 12 weeks and when he came home he was on DIY and couldn't live out 24/7, this was quite hard at first but I did get into routine and I found just doing him wasn't too much of a problem. Riding was much harder as Alice never slept much in the day and I never managed it with her. Luckily OH and grandmas would baby-sit so I usually managed to ride 2-3 timea a week but it was hard and I was tied. Now Alice does nursey for a few hours 3 days a week and in all honesty without this I wouldn't have bothered keeping him. It means a chance to catch up on all the time consuming jobs and a chance to ride out. I do the work I'm supposed to do whilst at nursey in the evening after bed time!!

Don't make any decisions yet as it does get easier
 
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Give yourself a chance!
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At 11 weeks you have almost reach the turn round point but it is also the hardest as we put pressure on ourselves at this point to get back to normal.

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This IS how I feel! Thanks for the encouragement Burtie!

Alice must be about 18 months now, is that right? Wow, how time flies!
 
Aww hun ,so sorry to read this post. I really feel for you and know, only too well, how very overwhelming it can all seem. Sorry but I haven't read all the replies (20 month old son makes that a bit tricky lol) so am probably repeating advice already given but anyway:

Stick at it, 11 weeks is such a new baby, please don't add pressure onto yourself by worrying about how you will or will not cope come winter. There are many ways to jiggle it all around. I leave mine out as much as possible and deep litter when they are in. My horses have had to cope with the bare minimum being done during my young baby winters, but they survive.

I'm not saying it is easy, it is a constant juggling act and very stressful, but can be done and these demanding times with baby do not last forever. Oliver WILL get easier, he sounds like a demanding little so and so now but soon will start to take an interest in his surrounding and be stimulated by this, and will cling to you less and less.

I had an old silver cross pram for my first. It was great, had a harness that I could strap her in with, she could sit up in it and have heaps of toys in with her, and see me at all times. When they are a little older a portable play pen is really useful. Also, try and remember that although it stresses you out, it does them no harm to cry for a few minutes, if you know they are fine and can see you that is.

Please don't give up it will get easier. Admittedly, mine were both content babies, but last winter I had 6 stable kept horses to do
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I managed (didn't get much else done other than baby and horses, and stunk like a stable most of the time but worth it, still got my neddies and am now starting to enjoy more free time to actually ride
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Sorry to waffle on (a subject close to my heart), good luck x
 
Don't sell him, i think i time you'll find it easier! How about popping Sam on loan till your little one is a bit older perhaps? Or Part/ Full livery?
Just an idea
Hope whatever you decide is right for you xxx
 
Agree with everyone's comments, a girl down at our yard struggled, her baby would not settle with anyone, even for an hour! she was so clingy and her hubby worked shifts so she had to bring her down to the yard, she'd park her up in the pram and she'd scream and scream, but nobody minded, it was nice to see her, or keep her entertained for a few minutes while she frantically mucked out, she was stressed out, tired, didn't know how she'd cope but she battled through, now she brings her down (she's 1 now) and she loves bringing her down, stroking her horse, she's even eyed a welshy for when she starts riding in a few years time! honestly you will cope, its a matte of having to, its hard but you'll get through it, you could always put your horse on part loan just to keep him in work while your busy with your new baby.

Hope your feeling a bit better since your first post xx
 
Thanks Tizzy, not seen you on here in ages!

Do you know you won my baby sweepstake? The one where everyone guessed when he/she would be born and the weight? I came second too lol!
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I promise you, this WILL get easier! a year or so down the line, maybe, but it will get better.. My youngest wouldnt let anyone else have her until she was about 18 months old, but now she's 3 and my life is almost my own again...
 
I cant be bothered to read all 5 pages of this thread, but will add my bit anyway!!

I have 4 kids.....10, 8, 5 & 3. I have had them all up at the yard pretty much from the day they were born, and have (apart from about 6 months), had my horse and then horses on DIY livery and have managed to fit it all in.

Maybe not to ride as much as I would like, but mucking out has never really been an issue.

As your baby is so small, what about using a sling to muck out with?? It doesnt matter if it takes an hour to do one stable really does it?? The fresh air will do you both good!!

I genuinely feel that horses are a way of life, and you will miss it, and start to resent not having it if you give it up now!!

I didnt ride when I was pg with my first, and then didnt ride for about 2 years after he was born......I was going mad and couldnt wait to get back on!!!

With the last 2 I was at a yard with an indoor and an outdoor school. The babies used to sit in a pushchair, (or car in winter) right next to the school and watch me ride.....not for long, perhaps 20 mins, but that was enough....then at weekends I could go out for a bit longer.....

I would be hell to be around if I didnt have my girls.

I wouldnt make a decision now. I always felt that the first 3 months were the hardest with a newborn, and the total lack of routine means that the simplist of tasks seems un-do-able.
 
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