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Sprat

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Why is it so bloody hard argggghh.

I had been happily unconsciously incompetent, bumbling along at novice and getting mediocre scores but not quite realising how truly crappy I am. I had a very demanding lesson at camp this weekend and now I am well and truly consciously incompetent.

Can’t keep my frigging hands from bouncing, can’t keep a consistent contact, can’t seem to make it all look harmonious and lovely, and feeling totally utterly rubbish.

Does it ever get easier?!?
 
It’s driving me insane. I do realise I can get a bit obsessive about something that I struggle with, but generally I tend to be able to fix it and move on. This though, I feel like I won’t be able to crack.

I’m planning on going for some lessons with the instructor who gave me a lesson on Saturday (and honestly, quite a hard time!) so I think I’m doing the right thing by working on me rather than just the horse, but I can’t seem to get out of this rut. Clearly not trying hard enough!

Oldie, you are so right - the more I learn, the more I realise I still have to learn...
 
Contact is one of the hardest concepts of riding. It is totally individual to each horse and rider combination! Just as you think you've cracked it you try a new / different thing (or one of you is having a bad day!) and its gone again.

Many of us will feel your pain. I felt it on Friday, me and M just were not working well together, he was either trying to lean, snatch or come behind the bit - thankfully today we got it back but it can disappear so quickly!!

You will get there though sprat :)
 
What reins are you using? I was using just normal ones all the time and found i fumbled and used my hands a lot. I switched to the continental ones with the ridges and made 100% sure they were even before i put them on and now i use the ridges to make sure im even in my hands. I use the first ridge for warm up, second for long and low trying to get him to work into more saught contact and third is usually when im really trying to do faster more contacted work. If i can't feel him, he can't feel me so i use my elbows and legs in unison to either push on or bring back if he ends up pulling or falling behind.. As for bouncing your hands you could try getting a bit of sewing thread and tying it to your d rings or something, then making it taught at thr right height. If you go low it goes floppy, if you go too high it breaks - it may help you to use your elbows a little more.
 
I've always struggled with this (nice to hear I'm not alone) and interestingly my contact has improved on my current horse with him in a different bit. My instructor noted that he is inconsistent into a contact which makes me fiddle more but we've always just got on with it and I've tried to concentrate on not fiddling! Recently I've changed horse into a rubber snaffle (for other reasons) and the change is shocking! He holds it quietly and works forward into my hand. I can hold him quietly, half halts actually work and no fiddling!! Not sure I recommend this bit for many horses and not convinced I'm going to try xc in it as I doubt if be able to stop but we did manage a sj lesson the other day and he was brilliant. So the point of this rambling is that contact is a two way street and may not only be due to rider error (although I am still very aware I need to improve and am far from perfect!!) I also use reins with stoppers so I can check I'm even in my hands.
 
totally agree FP and sometimes riders can find themselves in a cycle of the horse being inconsistent, so the rider is inconsistent, which makes the horse more inconsistent. A fiddling cycle, with both ends fiddling!
Finding a bit that helps the horse settle is def half of the puzzle, and then if the rider can do a bit of mind over matter and break the cycle, providing a steady contact that is inviting to the horse, that can work wonders. Hard to achieve if you've both got used to bobbling around all over the place.

I'm also a big fan of continental reins, I have leather ones with stops every 3" that I had made bespoke. They stopped me from forever lengthening and shortening my reins without noticing I was doing it :p
 
I've got continental reins, which do help heaps more than the rubber kind, but I'm still not getting it. I can use the reins within the right stoppers, but my flappy arms and hands have a mind of their own, so even if the rein length is correct the rest of me isn't.

I think as FP and MP touched on, my mare can be inconsistent (as a result of me), and then I'm also inconsistent, so I struggle to maintain the steady contact. It's not easy to have her take the outside rein as it's very on-off, so I end up feeling like I've got too much weight into my outside, then trying to keep an even contact in both reins means I have altogether too much in my hands (granted, it's not horrendous, but it's more than I would like). I'm sure once it's there I can start to lighten it up a bit but it's all quite early days of working this way so I think some eyes on the ground to help is what I need. I'm pretty sure we are where we need to be with bitting, I had a bit fit consultant come out a little while ago so I'm reluctant to start swapping bits around.

Pretty sure I just need my hands lopping off and replacing with someone else's.
 
What all they ^ said!

I have these reins which I LOVE, narrow enough not to hurt my hands (I have tiny hands) but the stops mean its now really easy to keep your reins even and the right length.
https://www.rideawaystore.com/GFS-P...iPDHNIK5iM3e9iZZca2Wuwjr_GdX7VUxoCdfgQAvD_BwE

Also have a super interesting lesson where I had resistance bands put on me, the ones round my wrists kept my hands really still and meant I had to ride from my seat and legs and not fiddle! They were amazingly effective :cool:.
 
Sprat said:
I think as FP and MP touched on, my mare can be inconsistent (as a result of me), and then I'm also inconsistent, so I struggle to maintain the steady contact. It's not easy to have her take the outside rein as it's very on-off, so I end up feeling like I've got too much weight into my outside, then trying to keep an even contact in both reins means I have altogether too much in my hands (granted, it's not horrendous, but it's more than I would like). I'm sure once it's there I can start to lighten it up a bit but it's all quite early days of working this way so I think some eyes on the ground to help is what I need. .
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yeah I wouldn't be faffing with bits tbh, I think when that can really help is e.g. if you have a loose ring bit with a lozenge and what your horse would find more inviting would be something without a joint to provide a stiller feeling. I have seen that work in the past as a stepping stone for a fiddly rider and a horse that fussed off the contact. Not suggesting it for you, but it can be part of the temporary puzzle for some.

Help on the ground def sounds like a plan. I think when you are learning something and teaching the horse at the same time, as opposed to riding an established horse, then it's especially hard to figure out what's happening and the stages you need to go through.

I wouldn't be surprised, as you're starting with a horse that is inconsistent, if you actually almost need her to learn to lean a bit on the contact to get more consistent/confident in your hands, and that might feel a bit heavy at times but it's just a temporary stage until you can educate the both of you about self carriage. It wouldn't concern me if she went through a stage like that esp while you work on getting more even between left and right, because it's closer to that you want than pinging on and off the contact all the time.
 
milliepops said:
I wouldn't be surprised, as you're starting with a horse that is inconsistent, if you actually almost need her to learn to lean a bit on the contact to get more consistent/confident in your hands, and that might feel a bit heavy at times but it's just a temporary stage until you can educate the both of you about self carriage. It wouldn't concern me if she went through a stage like that esp while you work on getting more even between left and right, because it's closer to that you want than pinging on and off the contact all the time.
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Yes I think I need to get this in my head. I don't particularly mind too much if there is a bit more contact than expected, as long as it can still be elastic and not that horrible brittle feeling.
 
milliepops said:
I'm also a big fan of continental reins, I have leather ones with stops every 3" that I had made bespoke. They stopped me from forever lengthening and shortening my reins without noticing I was doing it :p
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Sound better than using electrical tape that keeps peeling off ;)
 
I used to throw my contact away like it was confetti! In my desperation to ‘reward’ the horse for working into a nice contact, I would push my hand forwards and give it away constantly and the poor horse would have nothing to work into and would either come above the bit or drop behind it.
Once I learnt to accept that the horse actually needs me there and would far rather feel a consistent feel in its mouth than one that’s constantly dropping away and then coming back, it was a game changer.
I like to feel something in my hand now and my horses stay consistent and round. I liken the reins to rods. I should be able to slightly move my hands forwards or back and the ‘rods’ should go with me, rather than go tight or loose.
 
I've always felt most natural riding one handed and on the buckle, cowboy style 🤠 Shortening my reins and keeping them short doesn't come naturally (hence the electrical tape)
 
I’m having issues with this at the moment. Sometimes Rosie works wonderfully and other days she’s a giraffe. I think I’ve cracked it and we get some consistency and then we don’t
 
Sprat said:
Can’t keep my frigging hands from bouncing, can’t keep a consistent contact, can’t seem to make it all look harmonious and lovely, and feeling totally utterly rubbish.

Does it ever get easier?!?
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I had a eureka moment in a lesson last week at eventing camp. My horse has a big trot and my hands are always bouncing, I try giving more at the elbow etc.etc. but I can't seem to stop it. Anyway the instructor described it saying if you were doing rising trot behind a hedge and i could only see the top of your body,i should not see you going up and down. Move your hips forward and back, like a thrust and everything else stays still, keep your hand low. It worked for me!!!
 
myheartinahoofbeat said:
I had a eureka moment in a lesson last week at eventing camp. My horse has a big trot and my hands are always bouncing, I try giving more at the elbow etc.etc. but I can't seem to stop it. Anyway the instructor described it saying if you were doing rising trot behind a hedge and i could only see the top of your body,i should not see you going up and down. Move your hips forward and back, like a thrust and everything else stays still, keep your hand low. It worked for me!!!
Click to expand...

Good analogy, I do tend to go forward and back rather than up or down but definitely could try harder. I'm going for a lesson tonight with a friend who is also very strict with this sort of thing, so I'm hoping she will be a great set of eyes on the ground.

Chatting to another friend whilst out hacking on Wednesday, we were musing over my wayward hands. She suggested keeping my elbows further back as that should stabilise me a little - I currently ride with a fairly outstretched arm so the minute anything goes wrong I get the wobbles. It seemed to work during my jump lesson, Bean felt much more 'there' and I was less faffy, but am yet to trial this while flat schooling.

I really should try riding with a glass of wine in each hand, that would certainly give me the incentive to stop bloody flapping
 
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