Cute things non-horsey people say....

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turnbuckle

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I know it's been done before, but it's a rainy Sunday!

To start:

A friend after a visit to Middleham:

"It's so lovely to see the horses riding through the streets but why do they have to go out three times each morning"?
 
A posh aunt describing horse riding as a very suitable hobby :rolleyes3:I don't think she knows about the **** shovelling.
 
Not cute, but an actual message I recieved from a friend I hadn't spoken to in about two years:

Hey love! Firstly, how are you? How's uni going?? Me and one of my friends were wanting to go horse riding on Thursday morning. Was just wondering whether we'd be able to come ride your horses? Or is that too complicated?? Xx

Errr.. No.
 
Do you see "to" everyday? what about Christmas?

My non-horsey Uncle on meeting my county standard pure Arab - "What's happened to his head has he had an accident?" apparently he'd never seen a dished arab face before!
 
Apache Warlord said:
Do you see "to" everyday? what about Christmas?

My non-horsey Uncle on meeting my county standard pure Arab - "What's happened to his head has he had an accident?" apparently he'd never seen a dished arab face before!
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Ahh, poor pony. I love a dished face. I would have been displeased..
 
Oh how cute! A baby horse! How big will he be when he is fully grown?

I generally get this with my Shetlands but when you explain that they are fully grown they get a puzzled look. So then you have to go down the route of simpleton terms - a jack Russell is a little dog, a great Dane is a big dog. A shetland is a small pony, a white is a big horse.
 
The best thing for me was when a friend got a mare for the first time. When we asked what she was like in season her mum piped up " What? Do I need to get her anything?". We had visions of the mare going round with a sanitary pad stuck under tail! :D
 
Every non-horsey person has said to me "I went riding once in the New Forest, horse ran off with me and I couldn't stop"
The New Forest must be buzzing with out of control horses.
 
emilylou said:
Hey love! Firstly, how are you? How's uni going?? Me and one of my friends were wanting to go horse riding on Thursday morning. Was just wondering whether we'd be able to come ride your horses? Or is that too complicated?? Xx

Errr.. No.
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This, oh wow. A family friend lost it with me recently as she couldn't understand why I let her kids "ride" a few years ago but not now. She didn't see the difference between sitting a 4 year old in front of me on my bombproof old horse and letting a now 8 year old get on my hotheaded, barely broken, spooky Arab that I bought 2 months ago. Apparently if he's great fun for me, he should be better for kids because they're lighter. Um...
 
My brother in law could not understand why I fed hay through the winter.

“ Horses eat grass, don’t they?”

I then gave a long explanation about why he didn’t mow his lawn in winter.

*********

He then told me hunters could go galloping across anyone’s land anytime!

Explanation about “ with permission “.
 
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Urbanite now living in the countryside on hearing I'd had my horse PTS (I'd had her for 25 years): "Can you get as attached to a horse as you can to a dog?" followed by "I know nothing about horses!" I didn't really know what to say.....other than agreeing with the last statement!
 
"Can you not just put a little saddle on him and she can ride him?"... - friend(using the term lightly) for her little girl to ride!

15 y.o WHW slightly demonic shetland
 
Said to me by a dog walker while looking at my horses freezemark "Are all horses born with numbers and letters on them".
 
Got a phone call at work that my share horse had managed to rip off a chunk of hoof when pulling off his shoe. When I mentioned it to my manager, he was amazingly sympathetic, asked if I wanted to leave early to take care of the horse, etc.

Turned out he didn't realise hoofs grow! He thought the horse was going to have to be put down. He was extremely relieved when I explained it was just like toenails.
 
One time assuring a teenager in the street that my horse was a vegetarian and he would not like a McChicken Sandwich, whereupon the horse was offered, and ate, the McChicken sandwich, all of it, before I could stop him!

Or, once when riding out in reduced visibility (wearing high viz on me and the horse, plus lights on each leg)... Builder to me (Yes, fully grown man) “what is that on your leg, is it a tag?” Reply “No, its a light”. Builder “wouldn’t you be better off with a tag so they would know where you are?” Reply “Not when I meet a car in the dark, no”. Builder “But if you got hit by a car then you could press a button on a tag and let them know you needed help” Reply “I would rather have a light and NOT get hit by a car”. Builder , thinks thoughtfully (!) “Hmm, I suppose so, but I still think you would be better with a tag”.

Or the small child, staring at my horse's feet "Where are his toes?"


Once I was cleaning a sheath in the yard at home when the WI ladies arrived for afternoon tea next door. I never did dare face them.
 
Red-1 said:
One time assuring a teenager in the street that my horse was a vegetarian and he would not like a McChicken Sandwich, whereupon the horse was offered, and ate, the McChicken sandwich, all of it, before I could stop him!

Or, once when riding out in reduced visibility (wearing high viz on me and the horse, plus lights on each leg)... Builder to me (Yes, fully grown man) “what is that on your leg, is it a tag?” Reply “No, its a light”. Builder “wouldn’t you be better off with a tag so they would know where you are?” Reply “Not when I meet a car in the dark, no”. Builder “But if you got hit by a car then you could press a button on a tag and let them know you needed help” Reply “I would rather have a light and NOT get hit by a car”. Builder , thinks thoughtfully (!) “Hmm, I suppose so, but I still think you would be better with a tag”.

Or the small child, staring at my horse's feet "Where are his toes?"


Once I was cleaning a sheath in the yard at home when the WI ladies arrived for afternoon tea next door. I never did dare face them.
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Some horses make a mockery of being vegetarians. I knew a mare who would eat absolutely everything. She would sniff out food in a wrapper and in your pocket. She stole a corned beef sandwich once. Didn't seem to do her any harm either!
 
Daughter in law was happily grooming my old pony when she said "This is very therapeutic but I dont fancy mowing this big lawn, who does it for you". The horses graze the grass right down and we poo pick regularly so it looks like a lawn,
 
I think I’ve said this in the past, but I’m often asked, particularly in nice weather, if I’m going for ‘a ride’ on my horse. I think people imagine it’s like a scene from Little House on the Prarie and I go cantering through fields with my hair blowing in the wind, perhaps in a long flowing skirt with a group of laughing children skipping along behind me, carrying baskets of freshly picked apples...

They’d be quite shocked to see the sweaty, smelly mess I am when I get off after a schooling session.
 
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