Delivering the News to Trainer: You're Too Harsh

[ycbm]

Yes, definitely the first folks to respond have a more even-handed response vs. those who piled on later in the responses. I probably should have mentioned that the desensitizing took place three times for around five to ten minutes - and only because my mare was attempting to jump out of her stall when a tractor went by, or rearing/backing up/shying when the property wasn't absolutely dead silent. It was an untenable situation and she needed to learn to trust me. Now I can lead her around with a very loose line and she's taking the strange sights and sounds in stride, so a good outcome.

Surely though, having moved her from a very quiet yard to a very busy one, this was more a matter of time having passed in the new place and her becoming used to it, than any particular desensitisation training having taken place?

 

[HazuraJane]

Yes, I have to say that as much as I tried to read it impartially, I couldn't help putting my sensitive young mare in the place of the OP's when reading and wincing at the tie up training description. She would get very upset by an approach like that[/QUOT

Without wishing to derail, YCBM my trainer will work with me to give me the skills to handle my horse in future possibly challenging situations.
For example mine ever so occasionally finds 5th gear and when she does she can get a bit rude about it. So we spent a lot of time riding the canter, working on breaks etc so that as and when she tanks, I am equipped with the skills to deal with it. All practiced when she is in normal mode of not putting in even a smidgen more than minimum effort.
So you can learn how handle a situation without having to be in it (As I'm sure you know anyway!)
Although prepping for bucking/rearing/bolting seems weird - most horses if handled and trained correctly won't do that. Never a bad idea to know what to do if it happens but it seems a strange thing to train for to deal with.

I think it would be disastrous if it happened with this sensitive mare and I hadn't trained for how to deal with it. I'm making up lost time after having serious health issues and I can't afford to get hurt because that would put me even farther back in my skill set for riding this mare. I realise that in two years all this angst will be water under the bridge, but for now, I'm taking things day by day.

 

[Goldenstar]

When did having a horse get so complicated ?

 

[HazuraJane]

The thought of all this makes my head spin.
You have bought a young horse but do not appear to have confidence in you own skills, and are leaning on the 'dreaded friend', who may or may not have the right skills.
Most equines need consistency in their training, some are smarter than others and will go off piste but tying up should no be made a drama, and if you are uncertain about you friends methods I would call a halt now. You just say you want to do it all yourself now or send the youngster a way to a good yard where there will be a consistent approach in hand and ridden.[/QUO

Surely though, having moved her from a very quiet yard to a very busy one, this was more a matter of time having passed in the new place and her becoming used to it, than any particular desensitisation training having taken place?

I dunno, sometimes I think what I'm trying to explain must get lost between my brain and the keyboard of my laptop. By desensitization, I was referring to having my mare able to tolerate the tractor driving behind her enclosure without her trying to break out of her stall to get away from it. I halter her and stand next to her (she calms down when I'm with her) and we face the tractor together. I'm not talking about waving around sticks with plastic tied on them, or any other 'cowboy' tactics. And of course, you're right - with time, and exposure, she's less jumpy. However, at first, I had a nearly four-year-old sized mare going absolutely bonkers and I had concerns she'd get herself injured during one of her reactions.

 

[milliepops]

TBF the OP has done exactly what is recommended all the time on here - new horse, not settling, potentially dangerous situation so get professional help.

They noticed that the selected pro appeared to be using methods that did not sit well with them, and stopped using them to help their horse.

I'm not sure what the issue is with that chain of events? It sounds like the trainer for ridden work is on the right track and the OP is managing the situation.

 

[Winters100]

Oh poor you - it is so difficult when it is a friend - especially if you did not witness the incident yourself. But I would say trust your instincts, which sound as if they are telling you that this trainer is not right for this particular horse. In this case it should be easy to let her down lightly, just tell her that you are taking some time off training for now. Your horse is young and a break from so many different interactions will probably do her good. At a later date you can quietly start someone else on the job without making it a big announcement. Good luck and try not to let this get you down too much - it is after all supposed to be a fun and relaxing hobby.