Disaster test yesterday......Nerves...how do you cope?

[Perfect_Pirouette]

As title.

In hindsight (Isn't hindsight great :rolleyes3 I shouldn't have competed yesterday. It was on the back of one of the most stressful weeks I've had in ages with moving house and finding out I may be made redundant next month :eek3:

ANYWAY, I only had time to ride twice last week in the end and only practised the test once. It went awfully and last week he was mostly awful to ride.

ANYWAY, warmed up okay yesterday, not his best but not his worst either. By the time we were going into the test he was taking the contact forward and working a lot more over his back.

I, for some reason was SO nervous though. I haven't competed since December which is quite a break for me and I was honestly overcome with nerves. Felt physically sick and was shaking. By the time I entered the arena they were really bad.

Anyway, needless to say we did a pretty awful test. ONLY because I let him down completely by forgetting to ride. He is a mega talented horse who can run round a prelim with his eyes shut, (we had already dropped down a level from Novice yesterday as it was our first one for a while) but I just felt so wobbly and ineffective. Apparently it looked like I was 'just sitting there' according to my friend and honestly, I was. Anyway, we managed 62% but we are both capable of much more than that.

I just seem to be in such a negative mindframe atm with competing and I don't know why. I visualise it going bad the day before and I keep getting so nervous which I haven't done for years.

Any tips/remedies to help with nerves and a more positive attitude? I'm hoping now spring's here I'll be competing more so that will help as I'm always worse after a break.

 

[pootleperkin]

Breathe! Consciously think of doing so - and don't put pressure on yourself. Go out with the aim of enjoying your day

 

[Perfect_Pirouette]

I think that's half the problem- I am taking it all too seriously. I want to go back to yesterday and do it all again but do it all differently lol!

 

[leflynn]

Breathe, copious amounts of rescue remedy and view it as training/schooling until it becomes normal

 

[Perfect_Pirouette]

Does Rescue Remedy work?

 

[j1ffy]

I think it helps to work out what is making you nervous. I realised that I don't get nervous when the pressure is off - e.g. stepping up a level for the first time, taking a horse to its first show etc. But once I feel an expectation that we will do well, I get nervous!

So maybe have a ponder on what is worrying you, is it that your horse will misbehave? Or that you are putting too much pressure on yourself to perform? Or that you will forget the test / be late / something else? Once you know the source of the nerves, it's easier to develop a plan to deal with it.

I also hate to be rushed so I leave myself plenty of time to get ready, warm-up etc. and make sure everything is ready to go the day before. It just reduces the number of things to worry about. Oh, and no coffee beforehand as I end up jittery! Which is a shame as the show centre here does a very nice iced coffee...

I think Rescue Remedy helps as much as you think it will There's no harm in using it though and it's helped me a few times.

As for the test yesterday, I would just put it behind you. It's hard to do well when you have so much going on and I'm sure your head wasn't fully in the game!

 

[meardsall_millie]

I'm going to come at this from a slightly different angle.

There are lots of ways you can help yourself if you really need to and there has already been some really good advice on this thread. However, you've already said you haven't competed since December, you've had the week from hell, have only ridden twice and only practiced the test once. How on earth did you expect it to go?!

Go a bit easier on yourself and don't let this whoopsie build up into something it's not.

Next time make sure you're a bit more prepared and if you have another bad week, withdraw or just go along and have a nice afternoon out with no expectations on yourself. As much as we'd all like to think we are, we're not actually Superwomen and sometimes you have to give yourself a break

 

[khalswitz]

I will give some advice I've been given - not gonna lie, it's easier said than done, but I do try and it does help.

I was told to not think about what has led up to your test, but just to ride what is in front of you - concentrate on your horse. Do your warmup like you would on a nervous horse - lots of transitions, circles, rein changes, keep yourself concentrating on what you're doing.

Also try active breathing - where you breathe in for four strides and out for four strides, completely emptying your lungs on the outward breath. It physically relaxes your body so you can ride more effectively.

Also don't think about tests before or after - don't think about it being a qualifier, or having qualified to be there, or have any expectation of a score. Just breathe, and ride what is in front of you in that moment.

Some people use positive visualisation really well, but it doesn't work for me - I have to keep my brain distracted and thinking about what I'm doing not what is coming. I've cracked it in the dressage ring, but the SJ I still have to concentrate very hard on not getting nervous!!!

 

[Lolo]

I always try and go for the 'who actually cares?' approach. Because invariably, the only person who truly cares is myself. And frankly, I can deal with being disappointed in myself because I can move on from that and sort it out in my head... The judge doesn't care nor know you from Adam, your other competitors will glance at the scores, see who did what and move on and not care, your friends might care if you're really upset but that links back in only disappointing yourself...

Ultimately it's 5 minutes of showing off. It doesn't matter. If it all goes wrong it's a) only 5 minutes and b) you can do it again next week if you fancy.

So yeah, I find putting everything into perspective of no one gives a toss and really it doesn't impact on anyone at all so why should I be stressed and upset really works wonders.

 

[PaddyMonty]

So yeah, I find putting everything into perspective of no one gives a toss and really it doesn't impact on anyone at all so why should I be stressed and upset really works wonders.

Pretty much my approach. I look at what the real impact will be on my life if I mess up completely. The answer is almost always nothing, zilch, narda, a big fat 0.
With that in mind I just go in to enjoy what I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I always aim to win. I just know the affect on my future if I come last is completely irrelevant.

 

[TarrSteps]

I'm going to come at this from a slightly different angle.

There are lots of ways you can help yourself if you really need to and there has already been some really good advice on this thread. However, you've already said you haven't competed since December, you've had the week from hell, have only ridden twice and only practiced the test once. How on earth did you expect it to go?!

Go a bit easier on yourself and don't let this whoopsie build up into something it's not.

Next time make sure you're a bit more prepared and if you have another bad week, withdraw or just go along and have a nice afternoon out with no expectations on yourself. As much as we'd all like to think we are, we're not actually Superwomen and sometimes you have to give yourself a break

Read that again.

You were underprepared, tired, stressed. . .what would you say to a student in a similar situation?

It's all very well to talk about 'confidence', 'nerves' etc but, for me, these are not separate from practical considerations. You weren't feeling confident because you knew you weren't in a good place and you have high standards, so you weren't going to be happy with just steering around the ring. Perhaps, if you're in that situation again and you choose to go ahead, you have to have a different goal for the day, like working on your own relaxation, regardless of how the day actually plays out. Or, as mm said, just don't go! Practicing under stress is important, I think, but the whole definition of practice is that it won't be perfect!

Also, keep in mind that anxiety is chemical. You can't expect to spend the week on red alert and not have some of that seep into what is already a tense situation.

At the end of the day, it's a dressage test. You came, you rode, it didn't go well, you survived. Hey ho. (I know everyone is saying I don't get it but actually, I do. These things happen. To everyone.) On an important day you'll remember the lesson of this weekend and likely be more successful because of it. Live and learn.

 

[paddi22]

I used to be a wreck going into tests, but now i love them. I shifted my mindset to make my schooling at home more important than tests. I only use tests to help pinpoint what i need to do to progress my horses education. I took the focus completely off me and put it on my horse which helps. When i got in to a test I couldn't care less how i do - i've done all the work i can at home and you never know on the day what kind of conditions/competitors/horses will affect the results. I've ridden really bad tests and done well, and other days I've done my best tests even and been beaten by way better horses. You have very little control over it and none of it matters really.

Now all i think about is having my boy enjoy his experience in the ring and want to get him to show himself off as im so proud of him! I really enjoy going in now and ultimately it doesn't matter how we do.

It sounds like you have to get to the base of WHY you are nervous and then work through that. Theres a great book called schooling problems with nlp
http://www.horseandriderbooks.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Store_Code=H&Screen=PROD&Product_Code=SCPRSO
i found that great for getting to the root of issues.

 

[Perfect_Pirouette]

Thanks for the replies.

I think it helps to work out what is making you nervous. I realised that I don't get nervous when the pressure is off - e.g. stepping up a level for the first time, taking a horse to its first show etc. But once I feel an expectation that we will do well, I get nervous!

So maybe have a ponder on what is worrying you, is it that your horse will misbehave? Or that you are putting too much pressure on yourself to perform? Or that you will forget the test / be late / something else? Once you know the source of the nerves, it's easier to develop a plan to deal with it.

It's a mixture of things really but mainly looking a fool by doing a really awful test and also forgetting it.

I'm going to come at this from a slightly different angle.

There are lots of ways you can help yourself if you really need to and there has already been some really good advice on this thread. However, you've already said you haven't competed since December, you've had the week from hell, have only ridden twice and only practiced the test once. How on earth did you expect it to go?!

Go a bit easier on yourself and don't let this whoopsie build up into something it's not.

Yes, that was exactly what I thought after. It was all just too much. I just put so much pressure on myself though I really do and I don't know why. Think I need to get out again ASAP now so I can replace the memory lol and try and get my confidence back a bit.

I will give some advice I've been given - not gonna lie, it's easier said than done, but I do try and it does help.

I was told to not think about what has led up to your test, but just to ride what is in front of you - concentrate on your horse. Do your warmup like you would on a nervous horse - lots of transitions, circles, rein changes, keep yourself concentrating on what you're doing.

Also try active breathing - where you breathe in for four strides and out for four strides, completely emptying your lungs on the outward breath. It physically relaxes your body so you can ride more effectively.

Also don't think about tests before or after - don't think about it being a qualifier, or having qualified to be there, or have any expectation of a score. Just breathe, and ride what is in front of you in that moment.

Some people use positive visualisation really well, but it doesn't work for me - I have to keep my brain distracted and thinking about what I'm doing not what is coming. I've cracked it in the dressage ring, but the SJ I still have to concentrate very hard on not getting nervous!!!

Thanks, yes I do need to ride what is directly in front of me more and in there here and now at shows rather than worrying constantly about what is to come. Honestly, yesterday, at the end all I thought was 'OMG, OMG, just get me into this arena to do this test and then I can leave. I don't care how it goes, any old how will do, just get it over with.' Which is completely the wrong attitude to have.

I always try and go for the 'who actually cares?' approach. Because invariably, the only person who truly cares is myself. And frankly, I can deal with being disappointed in myself because I can move on from that and sort it out in my head... The judge doesn't care nor know you from Adam, your other competitors will glance at the scores, see who did what and move on and not care, your friends might care if you're really upset but that links back in only disappointing yourself...

Ultimately it's 5 minutes of showing off. It doesn't matter. If it all goes wrong it's a) only 5 minutes and b) you can do it again next week if you fancy.

So yeah, I find putting everything into perspective of no one gives a toss and really it doesn't impact on anyone at all so why should I be stressed and upset really works wonders.

I definitely think I need to adopt this approach more. I care TOO MUCH. Too much about 'perfection' (or anything vaguely near it) too much what people think of me. Always have. I don't think it helped that I knew a lot of the competitors there yesterday and also knew my judge lol! It was just one of those days and the more I wound up I got, the more nervous I got and the more tense he got and it was just bleugh. I really do need to think 'who cares' more!

Pretty much my approach. I look at what the real impact will be on my life if I mess up completely. The answer is almost always nothing, zilch, narda, a big fat 0.
With that in mind I just go in to enjoy what I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I always aim to win. I just know the affect on my future if I come last is completely irrelevant.

And this ^^^ same as above. The impact on my life will be nothing. Just a bit of hurt pride!

 

[Farma]

Can you take a trainer with you or well educated friend to warm you up and keep your mind on the job? Sometimes having someone in your ear like a lesson will take your mind off of the nerves.
Personally I pretend in my mind I am Carl Hester or the likes about to go in, instantly makes me sit up and try harder! I haven't ever had nerves though for dressage not sure that tactic works for anything other than trying to ride better!

 

[Perfect_Pirouette]

Read that again.

You were underprepared, tired, stressed. . .what would you say to a student in a similar situation?

It's all very well to talk about 'confidence', 'nerves' etc but, for me, these are not separate from practical considerations. You weren't feeling confident because you knew you weren't in a good place and you have high standards, so you weren't going to be happy with just steering around the ring. Perhaps, if you're in that situation again and you choose to go ahead, you have to have a different goal for the day, like working on your own relaxation, regardless of how the day actually plays out. Or, as mm said, just don't go! Practicing under stress is important, I think, but the whole definition of practice is that it won't be perfect!

Also, keep in mind that anxiety is chemical. You can't expect to spend the week on red alert and not have some of that seep into what is already a tense situation.

At the end of the day, it's a dressage test. You came, you rode, it didn't go well, you survived. Hey ho. (I know everyone is saying I don't get it but actually, I do. These things happen. To everyone.) On an important day you'll remember the lesson of this weekend and likely be more successful because of it. Live and learn.

Thank you. I need these calm, voice of reasoning's!

That is the problem really, I am not happy to just turn up and steer around a test. My instructor always says how hard I am on myself and I know I am, I wasn't at all annoyed at the horse yesterday, I was annoyed at myself. I let him down. I don't want to just scrape round, I want to do well, I want both of us to perform to the best of our abilities on the day. As soon as I saluted yesterday I thought about what I should've and would've done differently (err, actually RODE instead of sitting there like a numpty) but it was too late and I haven't been able to shake the frustration since! That's not the first time that's happened but it's definitely the first time I've competed when I knew I shouldn't have!

I used to be a wreck going into tests, but now i love them. I shifted my mindset to make my schooling at home more important than tests. I only use tests to help pinpoint what i need to do to progress my horses education. I took the focus completely off me and put it on my horse which helps. When i got in to a test I couldn't care less how i do - i've done all the work i can at home and you never know on the day what kind of conditions/competitors/horses will affect the results. I've ridden really bad tests and done well, and other days I've done my best tests even and been beaten by way better horses. You have very little control over it and none of it matters really.

Now all i think about is having my boy enjoy his experience in the ring and want to get him to show himself off as im so proud of him! I really enjoy going in now and ultimately it doesn't matter how we do.

It sounds like you have to get to the base of WHY you are nervous and then work through that. Theres a great book called schooling problems with nlp
http://www.horseandriderbooks.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Store_Code=H&Screen=PROD&Product_Code=SCPRSO
i found that great for getting to the root of issues.

Yes you're completely right, very little control over what happens and I really, at this stage need to think of every outing as a training exercise. I do try, on the lead up to them that's what I think.....and then when I get there I go 'oh god, I don't want to come last, I want to do well.'

 

[Bernster]

Some brilliant comments in here! I must out some if these into action too. Def know what you mean OP about seeking perfection. Have goals is good but not when they're debilitating. Lower expectations - less disappointment.

 

[leflynn]

If you worry about forgetting it use a caller, removes another worry! Also caller can double up as cheerleader/nerve soother/horse holder/number getter if needed too