Do horses ruin your life

[L&M]

Not 'ruined' my life as such, but affected career choices as have always tried to find work that fitted around the horses, often resulting in poorly paid dead end jobs.

Also cost me my marriage as my ex husband couldn't cope with the reality of a horse obsessed wife......

Down to one horse now, who is still my reason for getting out of bed in the morning, but when he goes I won't be having another.

 

[McFluff]

My horse enhances my life. He makes work worthwhile, gets me into fresh air, keeps me fitter than I would be otherwise. And he’s much cheaper than a psychiatrist…
However, I could not have had one when I was younger (I was in my forties before getting a horse). I had neither the time or money before to do it without stress.

 

[smolmaus]

I had enough of my life without my own horse to know that I'm definitely not missing much by giving the pony the time and expense that I do.

 

[catembi]

I would have sooooooo much money if I didn't have horses...but then what would I do with it?

 

[blitznbobs]

I would have sooooooo much money if I didn't have horses...but then what would I do with it?

Buy a horse?

 

[Caol Ila]

Yes.

That's why I ended up with two after losing Gypsum. I liked my life being ruined so much I decided to double it.

 

[shortstuff99]

I love my time with horses and I have made loads of friends and gone on lots of adventures!

But I do sometimes wonder what I might have done with my life if I had never had them. Probably would have gone abroad to do a postdoc/ research career, but then I still might do that anyway. I lived in the USA and Australia while having the horses (although I didn't take them with me).

Saying that I'm just about to book another trip to Portugal to sharpen up my dressage skills and I spend 10 days each year at SICAB in Spain so guess I'm staying with horses ??

 

[Cortez]

I have loved horses and the horsey life since as far back as I can remember, until I didn't any more. Everything changed in my life (widowed, business closed and then covid) and my priorities changed with it. I may one day have a horse again but at the moment I'm loving not having the heavy burden of responsibility, expense, worry and hard physical work.

 

[scats]

I suppose it depends on what you view as a ruined life. Horse actually saved my life, which is a story I won’t bore you with. Have some aspects of life been ruined as a result? I’m sure they have. I’ve never been particularly career focussed, but I think the horses caused this. It was only ever about getting a job to fund the horses and fit in with them for me, whereas I do wonder what I might have done if I hadn’t had that level of responsibility from a young age.
I won’t have horses forever, in fact, I’m pretty sure these two will be my last now. I would like to see what a different life is like at some point.
They haven’t ruined my life, but they have shaped it in many good and less good ways.

 

[Birker2020]

At the moment I don't feel its worthwhile, the constant drain on finances and I worry constantly about running out of savings, I don't have much left at all since buying Lari.

And I am dreading winter as winter always makes me feel very low anyway. I'd be so much happier as a person if only I could ride my horse, I feel at the moment like I will never get there and I feel mentally very down about the fact he will most probably end up being retired.

If I had a horse I could ride I'd be more than content with my lot, yes. I don't feel my life is ruined but I feel bitter at how things have worked out for me, who wouldn't?

I feel like a lot of others, that I couldn't be without a horse in my life but the four months after I lost Bailey I actually enjoyed the freedom it gave me, although I missed her terribly and still do grieve for her loss. So I am not really sure at the moment how I feel.

 

[MidChristmasCrisis]

Ruins bank balance…not your life…..

 

[ihatework]

If you feel it’s ruining your life it’s overdue time getting out of horses!!

I certainly reached the point where I was getting little out of riding and actively disliked competing - so I just shifted my focus.

I can’t imagine never having a horse!
They are essentially therapy and social life rolled into one. All the amazing people I’ve met and experiences I’ve had, all down to horses.

 

[welshcobabe]

When I lost my old boy I was not in a good place, I didn't think I would fine another like him but then didn't bank on finding my shire X from Ireland who has given me back my spark. without a horse I aged mentally and physically they keep you young and moving. All my animals are the things that give me happiness I don't resent a penny spent on any of them and the good times far out way the bad.

 

[Red-1]

When mum was ill I had to sell up as I had other priorities. I missed contact with horses so much that I lasted about a week and scoured Preloved for the most broken horse I could find, that potentially could make a ridden horse.

Found Rigsby who burst into my life and is amazing. There was no pressure to ride as he wasn't initially even rideable. Then he was! Then, he was rideable but was an old cob, so I bought another and am back on the treadmill.

The baby horse is amazing and is continuing where Rigs left off. I have jumped stuff again that amazes me. My core is strengthening. I have places to go, people to see, money to spend.

Mum died while I had Rigs and left me some money, not a fortune, but enough that I dip into it each month for extras. Extra lessons, 4 camps this year, lovely, lovely tack.

I am nearer 60 than 50, having a last hurrah. Although, I do sometimes think of selling our place and going into livery. It is certainly harder than when I was in my 30s!

 

[AntiPuck]

Not at all. It has been stressful at times already, and no doubt will be again in future, but I think 6 months in, my horse is enhancing rather than ruining my life.

The sight of her walking towards me across the field melts my heart in a way nothing else could.

I feel I have been very lucky to have had/to have the best of both worlds, because I was involved with horses from 5-18, never my own but I had share ponies and got to do PC camp, helping out as a RS volunteer etc, then only very occasionally around horses until 29 when I bought my own and got back into it.

So I had a good decade of traveling, living abroad, studying, establishing a career, trying out other hobbies, existing, etc. outside of horses and so there's no "what would I be doing if I didn't have a horse" feeling, as I already know the answer to that!

 

[honetpot]

It's as much work and effort as you want to put into it, as soon as you get any animal you take responsibility, and there are not many dogs you can leave in a field and leave for most of the day to amuse themselves, they are also a lot easier to keep and cheaper than having children. There are many times I would have loved to have left my teenage daughters in a field.
I just have to look at them and they make me happy, and no matter what you say to them, they hold no grudges.

 

[littleshetland]

I'm in my 60s now, and if I didn't have them I'd be so fat and unfit by now I'd have completely seized up.
I loathe the winters, and the thought of doing stables first thing in the morning is quite depressing, but once I'm up and going....it's not so bad, and nothing beats the feeling of horses all tucked up in their cosy stables with their rugs and hay - evening stables all done, and that wonderful feeling when we reach the spring equinox.....long sunny days are coming.
All the horses here are lovely and easy to do, and my current ride is just a joy....so, happy days.

 

[sakura]

They absolutely haven't ruined my life, but I did have to make adjustments at times. The main thing for me is allowing myself freedom - freedom not to ride, freedom to check them over and go home, freedom to spend hours on end grooming. No rules, just me and the horse and whatever I fancy doing that day (or not!). Watching my finances and being smart about spending. The other side of this is what would I focus on if not for the horse? Sometimes I get so focused on my job that I need the horse to remind myself there is more to life than a 9-5!

There were times when I was resentful of horses leaving me with no money or time for anything else, so I adjusted.

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

I knew nothing about horses until I met my now wife. Her & her sister had a couple of ponies, they were kept in a field at a farm, there was a tack shed & they used to go down & ride, groom etc. The ponies were old & got sick & eventually we lost both of them. We got married, had a couple of children & when they had a good report from school they would get a treat & the normal treat they had was 'a pony day'. They'd go to a riding school, look after a pony for the day, feed., groom, ride it & then they became helpers. After a couple of years doing that every weekend & every day in school holidays they had a pony for Christmas & that's where it started. One of the daughters got to about 14 & did different things & the other stayed with horses. We still have horses & have had them for 25 years. We used to compete, not so now, horses are growing older so only do a bit, but they still love it. Looking after 2 horses takes a lot of time, to give up horses I would need to find something to fill my time. My wife & I are in our late 60s and to be honest I am not in the best of health so I do find it difficult at times but with my wife & eldest daughter we still look after the horses & enjoy doing it. Eventually when we lose them & that will happen eventually I know we will be so much better off financially but at what a price. The pictures under this post show our 2 horses, First horse from left is one of ours & third from left is the other.

 

[conkers]

It’s a debate I’m having with myself at the moment. I’ve had some of my best times with horses but to be honest I’ve had some of my most dark times with horses as well. The grief of loss, so many knock backs, constant disappointment of not being as good as I want to be and not really liking the horse community at the moment, therefore my jury is out at the moment.

This sums up how I felt and why I am no longer actively involved with horses other than going and patting my retired boy on the nose a couple of times a month.
I used to be so passionate about them and the time I spent with them. And standing in the barn listening to them tucking into their nets after you've done for the day is still one of the sounds I most enjoy in the world. But I found certain parts of the horse community absolutely vile. And no matter how I tried to get away from them it felt like there was no escape.
I wouldn't say that they ruined my life as I have so many positive memories. But the last few years around toxic people broke me and now I just dip in and out as I choose. I find I don't miss it - a part of me wishes I did.

 

[teddy_]

Absolutely not.

Horses are the meaning to my life when everything else seems impossible.

There will always be times when horses push you to your physical and emotional limit.

I still cannot imagine life without them.

 

[EllenJay]

Horses have enhanced my life - not ruined it.

They have got me through the saddest times, been there for the happiest times and keep me going when life gets tough. They have been in my life for 57 years. My best friends are horsey, and I couldn’t imagine a life without being able to cuddle a horse. Saying that, my current boy will be my last, but I will always make sure I have some connection with the horse world.

I think that if you feel horses have ruined you life then you need to pack it in and find something new

 

[PurBee]

They can dominate life because they are a massive 24/7 X amount of years responsibility. I often chuckle at the realisation that owning animals is like having children that never grow-up from being needy toddlers! So, in a way caring for animals, requires a level of selflessness that i think is under-recognised, as animals always need us, whereas children grow up and can get their own breakfast when theyre 10 years old, and continue to be very less needy.

So if we have the resources, its a pleasure to have horses. If resources for their care and our aims are slim, then we can feel the stress of their / our needs colliding.
Especially as horses can live and often do, a number of decades - certainly many easily make 20, its a huge committment. Its impossible to know our own future, but its easy to hit a life rough patch where time/money/energy are limited, and we feel stressed by the needs of horses. Trick is to have wiggle room, if possible. Find other solutions or ways of managing them.

I’ve realised i dont need to own my own horse, to enjoy horses. So i know even if i didnt have my own, i’d be on here asking if anyone local wants some free help with theirs, just so i can be around them! I dont need to ride them (anymore), just love being around them ?

I havent achieved my teenage personal horse dreams exactly, those ideas evolved, but what i have achieved is the gratitude of learning what i have about them, and to help a 500kg animal thrive, to have a life it feels ’at one’ with, is immeasurable joy.

 

[lme]

No, but they are hugely expensive (when you end up with more retired than in work) and having horses means there are other things I can’t afford to do. I wouldn’t not have them though. They are family.

 

[SEL]

I've had times without horses but its like an itch you can't scratch, an addiction that keeps calling to you.

They've given me incredible highs and incredible lows. I've cried rivers of tears with them and over them. I've felt like I'm going at the speed of light with a good gallop and felt my heart swell with a little whinny. I rarely have new clothes and we've talked about the house needing decorating for 5 years now - but its the memories of my animals I'll have when I'm old, not what shade of paint is on the walls.

They break your heart (one of mine is tearing my into pieces today) but they can also heal. They make my life complete, not ruin it.

 

[Lexi 123]

They haven’t ruin my life but I do agree. I have a physical disability and can’t drive because insurance is very expensive because of my health issues. I am lucky enough to have mother is willing to drop me there she like to stay and watch me horse ride she loves the horses but has never ridden. I can do my horse completely by myself and I get so much enjoyment out of it since I cannot any other sport. My brother and sister hate me having a horse and see my horse as burden because the amount of time I spend there. It does make me feel guilty but the reality is I have nothing else in my life I be completely lost without my horse. The sad reality is probably never own another horse because It’s so difficult to find another horse that is suitable for my disability without it costing massive money.

 

[gunnergundog]

The huge expense, the early (cold,wet, muddy, icy) starts, the stress and worry, the fact everything else in your life comes second third or fourth...generally do you feel it's worth it?

If you feel that negative about horses, then get out. Why keep doing something that makes you feel so bad if you get no 'return'? Regardless of what anyone else feels, if it makes you feel bad, stop doing it.

 

[SantaVera]

Am i the only one that loves the mucking out, the poo picking, ?

No,me too

 

[Barton Bounty]

No,me too

Pheww thank goodness im not the only weirdo ?

 

[smolmaus]

Setting a bed nicely is satisfying, I do enjoy that but poo picking the winter hardstanding paddocks that turn to thick sticky mud slush is NOT. I'll be damned if it didn't give me a great set of shoulders last winter tho.