Do I keep her? WWYD?

[Elsiecat]

A neighbour asked me about 10 days ago if I'd be interested/know anyone who may be interested/be able to spend a few days on his horse. I said yes.
Took him about 3 days to manage to catch her as she's 4 and hasn't been handled at all in 1 or 2 years.
Anyway, she's a gorgeous section D with all the breeding you'd want in one.
We've really really clicked. She's still quite jumpy but is incredibly affectionate. She strokes my face with her top lip and nuzzles me constantly. She whinnies at the sight of me every single time. We've just really hit it off. She also gets along with my others really well. Not to mention how clean she is in stable!
The neighbour has just asked me if I want her as if not he's going to enter her in the local horse sale as tomorrow is the deadline. He also wants very little money for her and isn't in any rush for the money.
Everything sounds great but I'm just over 32 weeks pregnant..
On one hand I think it's too much - and on the other I've bonded with her a huge amount in a short time and I can really see us having years of fun ahead of us. She'd be fantastic for ridden showing which is something I'd love to try. My ridden horse is 16 in May (they share birthdays actually!) and I want a back up for when mine starts winding down. She's also a really good height already and is still quite bum high.
What would you do? The thought of her going makes me cringe. But I just can't decide!

 

[Echo Bravo]

Go and buy

 

[lelly]

I would buy her.

 

[SadKen]

Some things are meant to be. I couldn't not buy her, as it's rare for me to click like that with any horse. She's young, turning away til you have more time will do no harm at all. You can always find her a suitable home if you do find you don't have time. Much better than a trip to the sales and an uncertain future.

it sounds like she has found a port in a storm. I really hope this pans out as it could be the start of a wonderful story!

 

[BethanT]

Agree with the above. Buy her. You sound like you really don't want to part with her, so in doing so you may regret it.

I'm guessing you are worried about what to do with her closer to having your baby and once he/she is here. Is there someone who can carry on doing a bit of work while you are unable to? Or is it possible to just turn her away while you get to grips with the new baby? It is possible, having a friend who has a 7 month old baby, just went and got a 9 month old foal, plus starting new job, plus running her small business, plus having her other horse to look after, plus starting a massage course (makes me tired thinking of it all!). Won't lie, she does run around like a mad thing, but if yo ureally want it you can do it

 

[Arizahn]

Buy her

 

[Highlands]

Buy, you can't do much whilst she is unhandled and with baby I'm sure you will be busy but little and often and its summer!

 

[Goldenstar]

That instant click is unusual and special I would go for it .

 

[Ibblebibble]

if you can afford it long term then do it

 

[EmmaC78]

I would also buy her

 

[EllenJay]

I would also buy her - if for no other reason but I would always worry about where she ends up after going through a sale. Would much prefer to sell her privately. Good luck with baby xx

 

[mynutmeg]

buy her, spend the rest of the pregnancy, early baby time to get her basic handling in place as it doens't take much time each day but is invaluable and then when baby is a bit older and you have a tad more time go about the backing etc

 

[rainer]

Buy her I would she sounds great

 

[Floxie]

Have you bought her yet?!!

Get on with it!

 

[Elsiecat]

I thought you'd all tell me off and send me to bed with a smacked bum! It's one of those real head vs heart things. I worry I'll never have such an instant click with another horse and regret it for years to come. I love my ridden horse to pieces but she's just the total opposite of this new one. You're more likely to get a bite than a nuzzle!!
No BethanT, I don't really have anyone to assist me with her. But I am looking for a sharer for my ridden horse so they could possibly help out if they wanted. I'm also in the backing process with Bailey the rescue from last year, if anyone remembers him, so it's possible he could go out on loan or something in a few months.. Hmmmm!!

 

[WelshD]

I would buy her as long as someone is able to cope with the day to day stuff when you have a newborn.

If nothing else it will give you a chance to find her a better home in good time

 

[WelshD]

Any chance of an update on Bailey when you get a minute, I often wonder how things are going

 

[Feival]

Keepie Keepie

 

[flirtygerty]

It's fate, buy her now, I saw an ad on DD for a 3yr old coloured cob, wasn't looking to buy, especially a youngster, but there was something about him I liked, went to see him, bought him, seperated him from my other three on arrival, letting them meet over a gate, within ten minutes, someone got the gate open and they were grazing together, no squeals or kicking out, never regreted buying him, coming up a year now and what a super little show cob he's turning into, (in hand because of his age) DO IT, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO, pics needed of course

 

[JJones]

Buy her

 

[MargotC]

For what it is worth, if it was me I would buy her as long as I could afford it and knew day to day feeding etc. was manageable. For a horse that age who hasn't done much of anything yet waiting a bit longer to back etc. won't make an ounce of difference. She'll be happy to go along as she has been (with the newfound attention she obviously likes!) until you can start working her properly.

I think it is one of those situations where if you pass her up you could end up spending a lot of time thinking about the "what ifs" later. A horse that gives you that good a feeling from the get-go doesn't come along very often in my experience, much less one that can be purchased!

Good luck whatever you decide! x

 

[Honey08]

Hee hee, I think you've already decided!

I would 100% buy her if I could afford her and her keep. I couldn't see her go to a sale if I'd bonded with her. It won't do her any harm to sit while you have your baby, and if it all does become too much you can find her a good home.

 

[Bdazzling]

Totally agree with everyone else. It's most unusual to bond so quickly and you will never forgive yourself if you don't buy her and she goes to the sale. You'll always wonder and worry about where she is. She is young enough to be left for another few months without any problems and at least she'd be safe with you, good luck

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

BUY!

 

[Sheep]

I think it sounds like she has chosen to keep YOU - sounds like she isn't going anywhere! Buy her! As others have said, even if you then decide to sell on, you will be in control of the situation. She sounds lovely.

 

[twiggy2]

I will go against the grain and say no, I have so many friends who have underestimated the time a baby takes and have felt so guilty after little one arrives then they struggle on and end up selling or loaning, at this point in your pregnancy I think it is a massive risk to be involved with something that has been handled so little. my friends wife runs a livery yard and still handled the horses during her pregnancies, she lost her third baby when a horses pushed her belly first into a spring loaded gate bolt at 31 weeks pregnant-i wont describe the mess. the horse was well mannered and well known to her but something spooked him-you increase the risk with the unknown/spooky and less handled.

good luck what ever you decide though just be careful

 

[MrsMozart]

Buy her.

I didn't buy the horse I clucked with. I've regretted it ever since (six years and counting).

Get a sharer for your ridden horse, give your rescue some chill time and a sharer if the right person can be found, and take it slowly with the new one. As to the right time - there's never any such thing

 

[Patterdale]

I would buy her, but in your head aim to start backing her in autumn, as you likely won't have chance before then!

I was in the process of backing mine when I got pregnant first time (he was only 3 though) so chucked him back out for another year. When baby was a few months old started him again and did a bit (walk trot canter, hacking and a small dressage comp) before getting pregnant with this one. He's now turned out again until this autumn (he's five now!) and I feel crap about it because he's had such fragmented schooling but then I just have to keep reminding myself that even if I don't get going properly until next spring he'll only be 6 and lots don't get backed till then at all!

So yes, do it, but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't all happen when you would like!

 

[Booboos]

I think you have to be realistic because you risk more hurt if you make the wrong purchase than if you walk away from the right one - if you see what I mean.

Can you afford to chuck her in a field until you have time for her? If yes, then consider buying her but keep in mind that your approach to horses may change radically when you have the baby. Your hormones will be all over the place, you may not have time for a young horse and you may be a lot more cautious about putting yourself at risk with a youngster when you have a baby that needs you at home. Do you have childcare arangements in place? The sharer idea may work out, but how realistic is it that you will find a sharer that will have the experience to deal with an unhandled youngster and won't mess the horse up?

If you are thinking of handling her while you are very pregnant, think again. It's your body and of course you can do what you like but a stillbirth would be a devastating thing to happen and horses are unpredictable at the best of times. I may be confused but didn't you have a handling accident the other day? Apologies if I am confusing you with another poster!

Also when the baby arrives you have to consider that he/she might arrive early or you may need a C-section or you may need an episiostomy and be unable not only to ride, but also to muck out or lead. Do you have any backup help set up for such a case?

Finally as a general point, do you have the facilities for a youngster? E.g. an enclosed space for backing, another calm horse to ride out with on off-road hacks, regular access to a trainer, etc?

 

[Elsiecat]

Thanks for all your thoughts. I thought I'd wake up with a clearer mind but I'm even more undecided!!! I really like her but I want to do what is best for her and I'm not 100% sure what IS best for her right now.

Booboos- The horses are at home and I do have help with childcare etc. Facilities wise we have a small indoor and fields. Roads quite busy but we can box to places and bridleways are only a short drive. Yes I did have an accident handling the other day (with the oldest and smallest one of the lot - typical!) and so I am being very cautious at the moment. I'm not handling in any open spaces etc so if I need to let go there is no risk to the horse getting on a road etc.

I'm eering on the side of buying her and then say a month or two after the baby is born make a long term decision for her. At least then I won't regret passing her up? I think that's the best thing to do. They've all been living out for a few days now with ad lib hay. She seems happy with this as that's all she's had but at least now she has horse company. So I know deep down she's not 'losing out'. I might keep them living out between now and the baby (unless the weather takes a dramatic turn for the worst!!)