Do we give up on horses too easily?

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I have been having some behavioural issues with my mare on and off for a while. After all the usual checks, different calmers, saddles and instructors I have the vet coming tomorrow to discuss if it could be hormones or ulcers or pain related. I have had a few people say I should just cut my losses and get rid and that does seem to often be the advice on here. I'm just wondering if we give up on horses too easily?
 
Sometimes, then other people battle on for years with horses that they are never going to be suited to. Its no point generalizing. I think the art is working out what you want, what you are prepared to in, what professional help is required then deciding on a course of action.
 
To be honest I've had more experience with the opposite. People having a miserable life and spending all their available money trying to sort out the physical or mental problems of a horse that will never be a suitable mount for them.
 
Ahhh the 'get rid' advice.

While I believe that people shouldn't put themselves in dangerous situations that they can't cope with as it only takes a split second to get really injured. I have seen quite a few horses in my time on livery yards where they just needed training (sometimes it's the owner that needs training) or a physical issue sorting rather than being a dangerous horse that needs to be 'got rid of.'

The difficulty is - when giving advice on a forum - that you can't see the horse and judge for yourself, you can only go by what's written in the post.
 
i think it depends in some cases yes we do BUT if riding a difficult horse is taking away ones confidence then no.

i have seen quite a few people who have tried their very hardest to work on a difficult horse and ended up giving up because they become to scared to get on a horse again.

ive also seen the other side someone i knew got a pony bought for her and because she was sometimes a littke strong and fast (and not winning every class know to man) she sold her after just 6 weeks of ownership. i was bought said pony and it took a lot of time and effort to get her gping well and to trust me, but she is my horse of a life tine and we eete very succesful in show jumping in our area.

had her previous owner taken time to gain my little mares trust then she would likely had the success and fun that i did with her
 
I think you should only give up when you have had the correct advice and tried most options. If you gave up now, after the calmers/saddler/instructor, but having not yet involved the vet, then yes ... maybe that would be a bit too soon, as it could be something relatively easy to sort out. But it also depends on your commitment to said animal. Some folk i know don`t think twice about putting a bullet in a horse for small ongoing behavioral issues, as they say it costs just as much to keep a bad one as a good one and a bullet is cheap, but on the other hand i know people who have got bank loans to try and get "the best help" for their horse.

I have a difficult (at times) gelding, i`ve had him 4 years .... some would have called in quits and sold him on, others would have had him put down, but yet we have a happy (ish) understanding lol (well apart from when he`s stressing me out) .....

I think so much depends on the individual horse and owner combination :)
 
Gloi said:
To be honest I've had more experience with the opposite. People having a miserable life and spending all their available money trying to sort out the physical or mental problems of a horse that will never be a suitable mount for them.
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Agree with this. I would advise you contact an Intelligent Horsemanship person because they are dealing with horses that have all sorts of problems, from pain-related to owner problems, more than the average riding instructor I think. Sometimes there IS something wrong that no-one can get to the bottom of, and it is not the horse's fault but makes it unsuitable for the owner. After all, owning a horse is supposed to be fun and rewarding.
 
I've seen more people who, in their words, won't give up on the horse, and horse carries on suffering for years with physical pain, or owner carries on for years struggling with nerves and confidence and guilt. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving up on horses
 
It's a difficult question OP. I'm prepared to: fix a veterinary problem requiring a few months box rest or a year on field rest, have a course of 10 riding lessons, put time in to regularly school a horse, provide calm and consistent handling, get a "new" second hand saddle, have teeth looked at, have a short course of physiotherapy for the horse, change the bit, shoe or carry out barefoot rehab. But that's about it.

In the same way that some people have cars that are always in the garage for repairs or diagnostics, some people have horses that constantly need the vet and I'm not interested in owning one of those. If a major problem occurs I'd PTS. If its a series of endless yet minor problems, I'd get the horse sound if possible to then sell.

I'm not someone who likes a particular activity and will go out and buy a horse to do that job. I'll buy a horse I like, then get it home and see what it can do. A horses paces, jump and hacking ability can all be improved through schooling. But if a horse can't do something through physical limitation or I don't find an activity fun due to horses behavioural issue, then I'll accept that we just won't be doing that thing. As long as the horse is still rideable for other activities, I don't mind.

If a horse can't work at all, not even light hacking with painkillers or is no fun to ride/handle due to temperament/behaviour, then depending on the issue and whether the horse is happy in itself/a danger to people/has a good chance of finding a decent home, the horse would be either sold or PTS.

Some people probably think I give up too easily, but I'm just not willing to spend thousands of pounds I haven't got, trying to fix a problem when there's no guarantee it will be fixed.
 
Yes, I think people give up on horses far too early. Unless you are naturally incredibly talented or looking for a top class athlete and realise that your horse doesn't have have the physical scope, then most people think it is a problem with the horse, when in fact it is a problem with them.

To me, what I love about horses is the journey they take you on, the knowledge you acquire and the people you meet in that journey. The fact they sometimes move you to tears and then bounce you into the heavens is part of that journey. The sensitivity it takes to take a horse back a step or two in its training so that you can move forward more quickly in the long term. The braveness to go against your yard to try 'alternative approaches' (clicker was a changing point for me, not just because of the clicking but it taught me timing and how horses learn), the hard work of actually acknowledging your own weaknesses and working out how to improve them not only teaches you about the horse/human relationship and makes you a better 'horsewoman' but also helps you be more comfortable with the rest of the world!

It takes a very long time to really find what makes any horse tick and boy, when you get there, it is an achievement which makes you proud for the rest of your life.
 
This is a difficult question, from my own personal experience I would say once you have ruled out physical issues if you are not enjoying the horse it is probably best to try and get it a home where it will be fully appreciated, it doesn't mean that you've failed or anything, but you can expend a lot of money and heartache for nothing really. I guess with all the horror stories you read on the net finding that home can be stressful but it's probably the right thing to do
 
Its a tough one....I've had my boy for 5 years with 2 year break in the middle as I had to sell him due to a marriage break down. When I got him he was a mess, hard to catch, load, shoe, difficult to turn out but great to ride but not a trusting bone in his body, he's a sob story through and through, badly beaten by pretty much everyone, was a successful SJ but just jacked it in as they sometimes do and paid the price for it. I got him right but would stil be a pain to catch, (nothing works, not even sedalin, he just canters it off) and still a fire cracker to turn out but generally loads better and he knew who his mum was, we did have a great relationship but it was tough. However in the two years he was away from me we are now back to square one, he was sold to a "friend" that promised to keep him but promptly sold him for 4 times what I let her have him for with none of the tack or rugs that I'd sent him with so after 2 years of tears and stress that he'd end up either killing himself or someone else and tracing him through 5 yards,(most dealers), a very kind lady that couldn't bare to see him sold again but couldnt cope with his ways any more gave him back to me, she had done great for him but he was still just too much for her, she is a hero to me and so kind to have lost so much money on him but still have enough love for him that she wanted the best for him. I now have him back and its great but I'm not gonna lie and say its easy, he's a tank to turn out, he's lost so much trust due to what hes been through in the last 2 years and it's soul destrying that I've got to start again, but I will as I know I can get there in the end.......it isnt his fault that he hates people, hes been hurt again and again by people and passed from pillar to post, the way I see it is if he becomes to much then I'll retire him and turn him away but either way he's staying put with me now. I know some horses are just not suited to some people but always stick with it as long as you can, so long as your not getting hurt and you just might crack it and never look back :) good luck with whatever your decsion :) x
 
Depends on the horse, the person and the situation.

I can happily say that I have never given up on a horse, even my current lad who was spectacularly diffcult but is finaly coming right and is turning into a super pony. Several proffessionals told me to have him shot as he was mad and dangerous. He wasnt mad, he was in pain! It took one dedicated proffessional to see his potential and the fact that the dangerous behavior was completely out of character. She tried breaking him but whilst she managed to get me on him without him trying to kill me he was unpredictable, so she advised taking him to the vet for full investigation. Pony was completly sound in a full lameness work up, he was sedated, scoped and had his hocks and back xrayed incase of issues. Only when I insisted on a bone scan (the vets thought I was mad, but it was my money to waste as they said!) did we find the fractured pelvis!
Pony had a lot of box rest, a lot of physio therapy and was then rebroken, carefully and sensitivly and I have ridden through several bad reactions to remembered pain.

but it has resulted in a lovely little pony who won quite a bit in the show ring in his first ridden season, Who got a 69% in his first dressage test, who hacks out like an angel, he travels like and angel and will do anything for me

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HOWEVER I do understand that not everyone has the time, money (cost approx £8k so far including breaking costs and vet bills), confidence, ability or the willingness to take some very hefty falls whilst attempting to ride him through the remembered pain.

If he hadnt come to me I do hope someone else would have taken him on and tried their hardest for him as he realy is a lovely lad, but if they couldnt then I do hope someone would have had him PTS as he doesnt deserve being bounced from home to home.
 
I would always have said to try, try and try again when I was younger but I bounced a lot better then and had more time and no responsibilities!

I bought my previous lad with that in mind, expecting it to take a long long time to get to know each other, and prepared to combat pretty much anything except rearing or bolting (he was a green youngster. I don't like rearers or bolters).

When I got him home, he chucked me on my third ride. Turns out I can't sit broncing. I got everything checked and went back to ground work for a few months, then started again very slowly. I was prepared to give him another chance. We were doing OK and he chucked me again; this time I got my foot stuck in the stirrup and had to use the time I normally dedicate to picking my fall spot and pushing myself away from the horse to untangle it. His back hoof came very close to my face. I felt all the stitched up bonds rip apart as I hit the deck, and I knew then he wasn't the horse for me.

Could I have kept trying... hmm... yes. I could. I could have sent him for intensive schooling or done more groundwork, but the fact was that I didn't trust him any more, and I didn't enjoy the time I spent with him. I work full time, I didn't have the time to spend on him that he needed. We just weren't the right fit. I sold him to a lovely home and got my girl; I had a better bond with her after a week than I had after nearly a year with my lad. Sometimes it's for the best - I wouldn't criticise anyone for making that choice as I think there are few people who do it lightly.

Good luck with your girl OP.
 
SadKen said:
I would always have said to try, try and try again when I was younger but I bounced a lot better then and had more time and no responsibilities!
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This! I have one that it's taken me 8 months to establish the basics with. He has a lot of potential, nicely put together and most importantly I feel happy that I can stick on whatever he throws at me. If I end up taking a hefty fall or getting injured, I'm going to be in serious trouble, I have a yard full of horses and a job as a groom! So I have to be pretty sure that the horse is worth it, or is going to be something I can manage with time, without being dangerous. Saying that several people have told me that current fruitcake is a suicide mission - takes one to know one I say! He just needs time and understanding.
I feel some people give up too early, are too quick to blame the seller for the horses behaviour or don't give the horse enough time to make progress. I wouldn't blame someone for genuinely holding their hands up and saying this one's too much, too much time and money and it honestly isn't worth the risk of a big fall!
 
Gloi said:
To be honest I've had more experience with the opposite. People having a miserable life and spending all their available money trying to sort out the physical or mental problems of a horse that will never be a suitable mount for them.
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'Like'.
Pretty miserable for the horse too, when it might be happy with someone else.
 
Was the opposite with me personally.

With my last mare (sold due to career choices). I had her for 6 years.

In hindsight, I shouldnt have carried on with her as long as I did. We never really 'got along' we just learned to Co-exist with each other, I don't think we truly enjoyed our time together. (making it sound like she was my bf but best way to explain!).

There was never anything physically wrong with her and she never made me lose confidence.. We just didn't match and I carried on because I thought it was a poor excuse to sell. I don't think I'd do it again as it's not nice to not enjoy it that's the whole point in owning a horse.
 
The only way to answer a question like this is to generalize. I believe too many horses are kept inappropriately, by that I mean management systems. Too many horses have things done too them rather than for them. I think the resulting issues we create are often blamed on the horse. People tend to have a knowledge of equitation, but know little about the horse. People are unsafe around horses. Containment of the horse's emotions, soul and spirit is done through mechanical means.
Physical illness is a barometer of emotional fitness. People find it difficult to tune into horses without being anthropomorphic, because we've lost the ability.
Sometimes people are overhorsed, horses are physically and emotionally unfit sometimes.
People think in too straight lines and become task oriented.

Nothing wrong with calling it quits with a horse.
 
Pale Rider said:
The only way to answer a question like this is to generalize. I believe too many horses are kept inappropriately, by that I mean management systems. Too many horses have things done too them rather than for them. I think the resulting issues we create are often blamed on the horse. People tend to have a knowledge of equitation, but know little about the horse. People are unsafe around horses. Containment of the horse's emotions, soul and spirit is done through mechanical means.
Physical illness is a barometer of emotional fitness. People find it difficult to tune into horses without being anthropomorphic, because we've lost the ability.
Sometimes people are overhorsed, horses are physically and emotionally unfit sometimes.
People think in too straight lines and become task oriented.

Nothing wrong with calling it quits with a horse.
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I am astonished to say I agree with you 100% here.
 
Crikey no, its supposed to be fun not a constant test of courage, patience, resiliance, persistance, and, sometimes, survival, yet people are hell bent on sticking with the horse they've got. I learned that lesson years ago, give up and move on, its easier, cheaper and you stay in one piece.
 
I have a mare currently who I adore, and she hasn't done anything wrong except she is very forward going and I am now at the stage that I am too scared to even bring her in from the field and groom her (there is no chance of me riding her). I have had her for a year and it's been a gradual process of me losing my confidence (a lot of it in my head to be fair).
I am thinking of selling her as I just don't think we get on and I think we might both be happier if she found a more suitable home. I am very aware, however, that I am just giving up on her but on the other hand I am miserable keeping her. I dread going to feed her and am miserable just mucking out all the time and it's costing me lots of money to be miserable.
I know it's not the best time of year to sell horse and it might take a while but I think I will try to find her someone better to live with. Not sure if I'll ever get over the guilt though, so I have to decide whether it's better to be miseable or feel guilty!
 
TF - I found my lad a home where he is cherished but more importantly worked. A lot. He loves it. I don't feel guilty at all, because it turned out for the best. I did before I sold him (was I letting him down?) but as soon as the right buyer arrived I knew it was the best outcome for all of us. I lost a lot of money but he was happy and so was I. It may be that there are other options to explore, but don't discount the one of moving on.

I hope you can find the best solution for you and your girl.
 
it depends what you consider to be get rid/give up and how you view it...sometimes (not always) when somebody sells on quickly it can be the best thing for horse and rider i.e. confidence of horse/rider is not spoiled and to be fair perhaps they are being realistic

admittedly this is not always the case and some people may just be 'lazy' (for want of a better word) but we must never judge as for all we know the actual reason could be due to lack fof money and capabilities to see it through..once again they are at least not being delusional

sometimes people keeping trying for too long..my parents think I did with Peggy.. alot of people would probably of packed it in when she booted them whilst being clipped... and most definately would of when she went over backwards out hunting and then continued to do so over and over again even after I'd come off..but the point is that it was MYchoice to keep trying and perhaps i was being soft/unrealistic but deeep down i knew that she had a heart of gold.

thats how it should be a personal choice and lets face it we don't all know every single detail of the background of that horse and rider
 
IMO, some people do, yes. A horse goes lame and 6 days later is shot without trying to find out why it is lame, because owner doesn't want to pay for a lame horse, yet is sound enough to have a hooley. Sad when a horse has worked hard all its life. But then better than being passed from pillar to post or buted up to the eyeballs and made to work.

I agree that some of us are guilty of perhaps not giving up soon enough, but so long as the horse doesn't suffer, then really it is up to each individual and their 'make up'. The most important question to ask is 'is it in the interests of the horse to continue?' If yes, and you have the time and resources then go for it. I get very angry at how many horses are just treated like glorified tennis rackets and tossed aside when they break.
 
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In my case, I have two young children and a job and haven't got loads of money. I could probably work though the problems with my mare, but I really feel I can't risk a serious injury as I have to care for my children and I don't have enough money for lots of lessons. I keep my horses (my daughter has a little pony and I have a retired mare) on my own so have no support there and no one to ride out with. I need a horse that I can just get on and go when I have some free time and I don't have time for lots of schooling/lessons etc.
There is nothing wrong with her, she is just very forward so any lessons I have etc would all be ablout me gaining confidence on her. I don't think I'll change the horse that she is and I might regain my confidence but it's going to take a long time. I think the whole situation for me isn't working.
 
tinkerflight said:
In my case, I have two young children and a job and haven't got loads of money. I could probably work though the problems with my mare, but I really feel I can't risk a serious injury as I have to care for my children and I don't have enough money for lots of lessons. I keep my horses (my daughter has a little pony and I have a retired mare) on my own so have no support there and no one to ride out with. I need a horse that I can just get on and go when I have some free time and I don't have time for lots of schooling/lessons etc.
There is nothing wrong with her, she is just very forward so any lessons I have etc would all be ablout me gaining confidence on her. I don't think I'll change the horse that she is and I might regain my confidence but it's going to take a long time. I think the whole situation for me isn't working.
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Sounds like she may be a good horse for a confident teenager. Nothing wrong in selling on so long as you find her a good home.
 
Hmmmm hard one really.

I've had mostly horses that were someone else's cast offs, Had behavioural issues or just generally misunderstood. One I wasn't told of any issues then discovered a heap the hard way :rolleyes:

I don't believe you should hang on to a horse if your overhorsed, I also don't believe you should ever feel pressured to just because folk will be disdainful should you give up. That is a recipe for disaster.

I do think though that some people deliberately get things wrong by over estimating their abilities and refusing to listen to those telling them the truth, therefore blame the horse, the seller or anything/one to allow themselves to feel justified to give up on said horse and sell on.

However at the end of the day when all is said and done I do this as a hobby, it isn't my life and if my hobbies are majorly impacting my life ie I can't go to work as a nightmare horse was breaking me constantly (hadn't ever happened *touch wood* mine all came good eventually) then I'm afraid the horse would have to go. Also if it got to the point where I wasn't enjoying it anymore then it is time to look at the bigger picture for both the horse and myself.

Very hard topic you can have all the advice in the world but only you know what you need to do.
 
sometimes a horse and rider just don't click, we don't get on with every person we meet in life so i can't understand why people think animals should be any different, in those cases then it is never too soon to make the decision to part with the horse and try to find an owner that does click. With all other issues it really is such an individual thing that I don't think you can generalise on how long someone should try to right things. Of course, as has been highlighted very recently, there are those that will pass on a horse as soon as it becomes 'useless' to them, those people don't deserve the honour of having a horse fullstop!
 
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