Do you ever feel you are not good enough to be at your yard ?

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

If you can afford to be there, you are certainly good enough, no matter what anyone else thinks/says

 

[Grassy]

Thank you. Those comments are really constructive. I'm just being silly. My partner has always said that I worry about what others think. Those really positive, confident happy people never worry about what others think, they are so lucky I envy them.

I think I do feel unmotivated by doing groundwork for 3 months and I'm just stale and bored. The most exciting day of the week is doing the supermarket shop, I kid you not.

Its horrid when you think people are criticising, someone said my horse keeps knocking the poles (when he was first injured and was finding it hard to use his muscles as he had no top line and no muscle to speak of) then they said 'oh you nearly came off him' when he started reacting under saddle to his new saddle. Someone said "he's no good for you, you wanted something to hack out on your own" because he'd played up the only time I tried him with a saddle that was hurting him. Then I was told he only had 50% chance of recovery from his injury. All these negatives have just been playing on my brain day in day out, its all I can think of. Any happy positive things have dissappeared and in their place is "what if" and wondering what more people are saying behind my back that I don't know about.

I think sports phychology is great, I used CBT for competition nerves years ago and it helped at the time. Its something I need to look into, I struggle with my mental health and feel very down and depressed at times and then take every little criticism and blow it out of all proportion.

I'm going to try again with the trailer tonight and this time will have everything in place, feed, boots, hat, gloves etc.

Sorry you were struggling last year. Glad you got sorted. Maybe the same can happen to me.

Sorry you’re feeling down. I did the Mounted Division Confidence Course with Karl Greenwood, can highly recommend. He focusses a lot on OPO, other peoples opinions, & how they really don’t matter. Since the course I feel freer & happier in my own skin, not bothered what anyone else thinks. I almost gave up riding 2 years ago, complete loss of confidence. Yesterday we came 6th & won a purple frilly in some 50cm jumping, was absolutely thrilled, had a fab time. Did I worry about any OPO, nope! Have a look at the course, I think it will definitely help. Oh, BTW everyone else on my yard events to quite a high level, & yes I did used to feel “not good enough”

 

[southerncomfort]

I was given Karl Greenwood's book for Christmas and it's absolutely brilliant. It addresses all the things holding us back including the yard fence leaners seemingly watching everything we do.

 

[SO1]

I hope your friend is feeling better. Horses like people come in all shapes and sizes.

Everyone likes it when some says something nice about their horse so if she feels she is struggling to fit in maybe if she makes a comment on how nice one of the other liveries horses is it will help her make friends.

It is hard being the new person and hard when people say you should have a certain thing or do a certain thing and you can't afford it.

You don't need to be a supermodel to enjoy a 5 star hotel and you don't need to be a great rider with an amazing competition horse to enjoy a top quality yard.

In some yards the big spenders are treated as VIPs but I have also seen situations where wealthy people have been taken advantage of and upsold services or products they didn't need.

It sounds like there is a mix of people at the yard so hopefully she will make friends soon or is the problem the staff that are making her feel that way. Btw the person with horse that never goes anywhere or is a happy hacker could be the wealthiest person on the yard but competition might not be their thing so appearances could be deceptive or they could be a doctor or some other amazing person.

It is easy on this sort of yard to make judgements on people based on the type of horse they have and how good a rider but people do have other qualities as well and I am sure your friend deserves to be on the yard just as much as others.

Things that I get teased about on my part livery yard, my poor clipping skills, having a dirty coat, being a rider of little talent, being anxious, having a naughty new forest, being stubborn, being careful with money and buying stuff 2nd hand or in the sales. I am a little bit weird and struggle to fit in but I try to be kind and I always show an interest in others horses and am pleased when people do well and try and provide comfort when things go less well.

I wonder if your friend might feel a bit jealous of the rich people. I used to when there were people who could spend what they pleased without thinking and were at shows all the time and didn't need to work or were just working part time. After years of being on yards with ladies who lunch who spent over £100 a week on lessons and had the best of everything for their horses. I got over it and accepted I was lucky to have what I have sometimes I think it would be easier if I were richer but alot of people who have inherited money would prefer to just still have their relatives alive and good health is massively important both for people and pets.

 

[Birker2020]

@Birker2020 yes that's the one

Great thank you

 

[Birker2020]

Yesterday we came 6th & won a purple frilly in some 50cm jumping, was absolutely thrilled, had a fab time. Did I worry about any OPO, nope! Have a look at the course, I think it will definitely help. Oh, BTW everyone else on my yard events to quite a high level, & yes I did used to feel “not good enough”

Well done, that's really positive

 

[Grassy]

Well done, that's really positive

Thanks! ?

 

[spotty_pony]

No as they are at home and I am the only one here! ?