Do you ever invent things about your horse?

[ArklePig]

The thread on horse birthdays got me wondering. Finbar's birthday isn't recorded so one day I decided his birthday is 15/6. I've done this purely so I can put on a Derry accent and tell him that's his birthday, 'mekkin him a geminee' in the style of Nadine Coyle. This in turn is because I've decided if he spoke he'd have a Derry accent (I don't know why I've decided this, he came from county Down).

I just felt the need to get that off my chest and was wondering if anyone else makes things up about their horses or if I'm just bonkers? If no one else does similar and I am indeed just bonkers, I'll see myself out.

For those who don't know what I'm talking about re Nadine Coyle ;

 

[twobearsarthur]

All I can think is does he panic when he can’t find his passport to prove his fake birthday ??

 

[WaterySun852]

I've Xander pegged as a Winston Churchill-esque type character. A double malt whiskey drinker, sat in a library within a big gentlemans residence, wearing a monocle and slippers, whilst puffing on a pipe (instead of a cigar cos Xander is too refined for that ?‍)

Only thing he really has in common with WC is his waistline ?.

 

[milliepops]

Mine all have their own human voices, that's about it I think ??

 

[Cob Life]

Mine has a human voice, a bit dopey but nervous

 

[cauda equina]

My now departed boys had human voices too - there was the neurotic Welshman who bit his nails and chain-smoked (he cribbed) and the easy-going, laid back Irishman - 'Oh, sure, twill be fine!'

 

[Lady Jane]

We have conversations which are the horses talking to each other. eg Jamie to Lenny: "there's a lake ahead, not sure we can cross it". Lenny: "you stupid ginger thing, its a puddle!". Jamie: "I was taken for an endurance ride today, I'm knackered". Lenny: "you mean had to canter uphill on the common". Jamie: "can I give you a big sloppy kiss". Lenny: "if you even try you will regret it".
Jamie is a long legged unworldy WB. Lenny is a little conniexID, has seen it, done it, got the T-shirt. Len is in charge! Both 8 years. We do have a giggle. Their language is terrible sometimes

 

[smolmaus]

I suppose I have ""invented"" that Sadie is gay (since horses can't actually be gay I don't think?) but she definitely 100% is. Everyone who has met her is like "oh yeah that makes sense" so I only figured out this was an insane thing to tell people when I was telling my mum who replied with "I have no idea how to respond to that" and changed the subject.

 

[stangs]

I suppose I have ""invented"" that Sadie is gay (since horses can't actually be gay I don't think?) but she definitely 100% is. Everyone who has met her is like "oh yeah that makes sense" so I only figured out this was an insane thing to tell people when I was telling my mum who replied with "I have no idea how to respond to that" and changed the subject.

There was a mare at my old yard that everyone thought the same about. Just had that vibe. But we had some evidence for it; she’d squirt at other mares when in season, and completely ignore geldings. It only changed when one of them started letting her share his hay, and protecting her from the others. She rarely left his side after that, but it became a bit of a toxic relationship. He wouldn’t let others pick on her, but would pick on her instead.

We also had a mare that we all thought of as your stereotypical dumb blonde. Boy-crazy (often found with two geldings grooming her simultaneously; she never returned the favour), the sweetest, most affectionate personality, but not much going on upstairs.

In my mind, she spoke with a very expressive but cheerful tone, and said “love you~” to everyone and anyone, with no serious meaning behind it.

 

[milliepops]

I'm amused that many of us have voices for them. mine are often chattering away

 

[CanteringCarrot]

I have no voice for my own horse, but I do know of a Connemara that I believe has a bubbly slightly high pitched voice and giggles a lot. ?

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I suppose I have ""invented"" that Sadie is gay (since horses can't actually be gay I don't think?) but she definitely 100% is. Everyone who has met her is like "oh yeah that makes sense" so I only figured out this was an insane thing to tell people when I was telling my mum who replied with "I have no idea how to respond to that" and changed the subject.

I know how ridiculous this is going to sound but I'm convinced that animals can be gay? We had a tup that would only ever copulate with other tups, even if he was in a herd of ewe's... tell me it's a dominance thing if you like, but I'm sure he was gay.

 

[First Frost]

Mine chatter away in their lovely soft southern Irish accents (they are Connie or part Connie all bred in Ireland). They youngster comes home telling the others of his amazing adventures - hacking and a bit of xc schooling. They laugh at him and explain about ODE's, hunting and riding holidays! And I'm sure I've seen my older boy helping the baby with his shoulder-in, while out in the field.
Oh dear, think I am losing it a bit!!!

 

[cauda equina]

Weren't there some gay penguins in a zoo somewhere?

 

[ElleSkywalkingintheair]

Weren't there some gay penguins in a zoo somewhere?

They were on breakfast TV yesterday ?

An episode of QI had the fact that all species exhibit homosexual behaviour, but we are the only species that exhibits homophobia ?

 

[ArklePig]

These are all hilarious.

Thanks @smolmaus I now have 'can horses be gay' on my search history at work.

 

[smolmaus]

There was a mare at my old yard that everyone thought the same about. Just had that vibe. But we had some evidence for it; she’d squirt at other mares when in season, and completely ignore geldings.

Yes exactly! She was very briefly in a paddock adjacent to a teeny tiny mini stallion while in season (emergency paddock reshuffle, not ideal and only for half the day) but she wasn't even interested in him enough to tell him to piss off. Just completely blanked him when he was walking the fence line and showing off ? but she will stop and squirt just walking past the boss mare's stable.

These are all hilarious.

Thanks @smolmaus I now have 'can horses be gay' on my search history at work.

What did google say tho, I don't know! I don't want to be offensive to the LGBT community by saying my pony is gay even though she is ?

 

[Annagain]

Charlie is Joey Tribiani. A giant manchild, ruled by his stomach who's not the brightest and can't hide what he's feeling but has a heart of gold. He doesn't have a New York accent though.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I have always regarded both of my geldings to be gay and a bit thuggish but total drama queen's at the same time, they are both very big personalities and I think they also chat together and I imagine they can be quite bitchy towards other horses. I think I'm a bit crazy ? perhaps.

 

[skint1]

Mine has an Irish accent, I often talk to her in a (very bad and unspecific) Irish accent and ask why her ma made her legs so long. It's so she can spy over hedges I have decided

 

[stangs]

I know how ridiculous this is going to sound but I'm convinced that animals can be gay?

Tons of animals have shown homosexual behaviour, apparently - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals - according to the references there, sheep are some of the gayest around too.

 

[Skib]

When I helped on the livery yard there was for a time a quarter horse. I would tell him Western cowboy songs as I groomed him and call him Mi amico though neither he nor I knew Spanish.

 

[Olly's crew]

Oh dear, me, my daughter and a number of friends have ongoing issues with creating alter egos for all our animals! Olly is a scrap metal merchant, living in a council house with his missus and 3 kids. Drinks lager with his chippy teas. Mal is an 80s throwback, would like wine bars and fancies a flamingo neon light in his stable please..... the list goes on! we are all mad

 

[ArklePig]

A lot of Irish accented ponies here....I'm wondering if there's a market for me to record 'their' thoughts. I can even speak Irish for the Connemaras?

 

[skint1]

ArklePig, that would be such an excellent thing, it could be a podcast on it's own.

 

[smolmaus]

A lot of Irish accented ponies here....I'm wondering if there's a market for me to record 'their' thoughts. I can even speak Irish for the Connemaras?

There would be a TikTok following in it for you for sure! ??

I dunno if anyone wants their ponies to have my northern irish council estate screech, maybe if any of you have a pony you hate??? One who does a lot of crimes? Even Sadie only gets MY accent when she is being a horrid bitch to the smaller ponies ?

 

[Britestar]

Mine all have voices. We used to have a lad who, although born in Rural Scotland, had a Birmingham accent. No idea why ?.
We have 2 gays on the yard, joke being my gelding comes into season.

 

[ArklePig]

There would be a TikTok following in it for you for sure! ??

I dunno if anyone wants their ponies to have my northern irish council estate screech, maybe if any of you have a pony you hate??? One who does a lot of crimes? Even Sadie only gets MY accent when she is being a horrid bitch to the smaller ponies ?

Well I am from Limerick like so I should caveat that the pony might end up sounding like a member of the Rubberbandits.

 

[smolmaus]

Well I am from Limerick like so I should caveat that the pony might end up sounding like a member of the Rubberbandits.

How is that not even better???

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

Not so much voices here but human alter egos:
Rex....actually a 16.2 sooty buckskin Connemara x Cob who is rising 7 and lovable but comes across as "a bit dim".
"Human" Rex is a good looking but doesn't know it Mummy's boy in his late 20/early 30's who still lives at home with the parents. He wears glasses and is the awkward, oblivious hotting at the office that everyone wants to Mother because he's a bit hopeless.

Rocket....actually a 15.1 tricolour tank of a cob who is rising 12, very clever and loving but can be a bit of a show off and thug.
"Human Rocket" is a short but super hot muscly guy who likes to be a "man's man" and Swiss lager while shouting "get yer tits out" to the women at the gym, definitely knows he's the best looking of the bunch and works for a demolition firm. Behind closed doors though is a sweetheart and treats his lady like a Princess.