Do you feel less confident as you have aged?

[santas_spotty_pony]

Just contemplating this. I’m 33 now, and don’t take nowhere near as many risks as I did in my teens and 20s. I’m just trying to work out whether that’s because I’m more sensible, I’ve lost my nerve or if it’s just because I don’t have the same horse power to do what I used to do (hunting etc).

I’ve just come across some videos of an ex racer I used to own jumping really well with her 14 year old owner. When I had her she was green and quite sharp and I didn’t do nowhere near what she is doing with her now and was very boring and concentrated on the flatwork and taught her the basics of jumping. I’ve probably just matured but I used to love jumping big courses but I’m a bit more into how they work and how spending time building the foundations these days. Amazing to see how she has progressed though and that she is being enjoyed and loved

 

[nagblagger]

Absolutely, my first horse was a spooky arab, rode bareback chase me charlie etc - now i'm happy to plod round the roads on a mule!

 

[MereChristmas]

Just contemplating this. I’m 33 now

Just wait until you’re in your 70’s!

 

[Gloi]

Very much so , but it was some mini strokes that really also knocked my confidence
I was probably fine until my 40s but in my 60s I've got quite soft at times.

 

[BSL2]

I'd be the first to get on the horse that walked on its back legs. I'd jump the jump nobody else would jump..Then I had children, and the phrase " what if" would raise its ugly head. I look back, and it's like seeing a different person. However, I "speak horse" better now im older, ie "why do you rear", " why do you refuse jumps"? I might not be as brave as I was, but I'm learning how to be a better horse person, by listening to alI the horses and ponies i continue to meet in my later years.

 

[Jambarissa]

Absolutely! I started to lose it in my mid 20s without any bad experiences or change of horse.

I wasn't even thinking 'what if...' it was more that the close calls (which I had always had regularly on my bonkers Arab) scared me more when they happened.

And now I have a lot of 'what ifs' too.

My advice is to buy the horse that you want to ride for the next 20 years not the one of your 20 year old self's dreams!

 

[IrishMilo]

No question. 15 - 26 I rode absolutely anything and made cash on the side by riding other people's daft horses. No way in hell would I do that now.

 

[Snow Falcon]

Definitely. Having my children changed my confidence level too.

 

[w1bbler]

& menopause wipes out then remaining confidence that you kept I your late 30's / early 40's

 

[SEL]

& menopause wipes out then remaining confidence that you kept I your late 30's / early 40's

I was just about to post the same!

I'm horrified by what a wimp I've turned into

 

[Slightlyconfused]

Yep, though I was always a careful rider even when younger. I am now dreading not being able to ride my boy and looking for a new one. Not that I am in that situation, he is 16 and i hope has plenty of years left in him but I have no words to discribe the impact he has on me.

 

[MereChristmas]

Not sure if this will resonate but I had a lesson the other day.
At the start the instructor said
‘ just warm up, a little bit of walk, trot and canter’
‘Canter’ I said ‘You’ll be lucky’
Cantering in a wood or on a fun ride, fine. Cantering in a school, no way!

In the discussion after someone said
‘I’m much more nervous than when I was younger, why?’
I said I thought it was because your reactions are slower and your brain says ‘what if I can’t do whatever’ or ‘I know my body can no longer do that’.

I know if my pony ‘cavorted’ wildly my rections would be slower and my body wouldn’t necessarily be able to do what I wished.
The result is that I don’t put myself or my pony anywhere near such situations.
Hence no cantering in the school.

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

This might sound mad coming from someone who bought a rising 3yo unbacked after a 2yr break, but I have come to the realisation that my hobby is supposed to be fun, and if something doesn't sound fun or makes me anxious, I won't do it. It's exactly why I got a pro friend to come and ride Dex for his saddle fitting after he had had 8 weeks off, with the spring grass - I have no pride or need to show I can do x,y or z these days.. I'm 28!

 

[94lunagem]

Yes!

Driving was a key change for me with hacking particularly. As a 12-16 year old I went anywhere and everywhere with my friends, we’d head out on a hack and cross roundabouts mid-duel carriageway, ride down main and fast B roads. We’d go miles and be out all day without a care in the world. My horse jogging sideways down a busy road never phased me one bit. But when I started driving I suddenly saw all the dangers of being on the roads that simply never occurred to me as a younger teenager. I’d done my BHS Riding and Road Safety but it wasn’t the same.

I’m 36 now and don’t have ridden horses, but if I ever to back to it I want sane, sensible and safe.

 

[Snow Falcon]

When I lost Flicka 2 years ago, I madly bought a youngster to start all over again with, then last year I got another. I'm not sure I have the confidence to back either of them now next year. The anxiety and ageing body is not helping at all.

 

[myheartinahoofbeat]

I’m in my 50’s and my level of confidence is not what it used to be. I have to fight it to be able to jump any decent height

 

[rara007]

Definitely- I don’t bounce any more!

 

[scats]

Yes. I was totally fearless until my mid-twenties. I would sit on anything, regardless of what I had witnessed it do.
I’m a bit of a wuss now in comparison but I’ve had a few horrid falls with a number of broken bones. I now have to be careful because I have a decent amount of metal work in my lower leg and ankle.

 

[silv]

Definitely, it hurts when you fall off! I used to get on anything when I was young and gallop around the countryside with no saddle etc. Much more careful now, however I still hunt but just on a safe horse and don't do big jumps. Most of my friends who do dressage do so because they don't want to jump anymore but still want to compete.

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

TBH it’s not my age that’s stopped me taking as many risks it’s my spinal damage. Up until that I was still pretty happy to sit in just about anything and also help friends back and break/rode away young horses.

Now I just can’t take the risk, I’ve had to retrain Faran to do things to help me as I am, I will continue to enjoy him and do normal horse activities with him but my days of sitting on anything remotely insane just isn’t feasible anymore.

I’m just glad I had already shelved any future serious comp plans before I hurt my spine, means I’ve never lost anything after it. We will enjoy ourselves doing RC activities and seeing the countryside together

 

[honetpot]

I think I was just about fearless until I was about thirty three, I had a TBX that could do a huge out of no where buck and I hacked it everywhere. Then realised that if I had a bad fall there would be no one to look after the children and I could be off works for months, and my husband left the house at 5.30.
I was never an amazing rider, but I could avoid trouble, and rarely fell off, when I look back I am amazed where I used to hack to, over moterway bridges and stood at the traffic lights in town to turn right alongside buses. You have to be fit and quick to compensate for the unexpected and when you can not put the miles in and for the non athletic like me you soon lose it.
I still rode, but stuck to novice type rides, until one day I just decided not to, mainly because the hacking was rubbish and I had done the same hacks for twenty years.

 

[dreamcometrue]

Not in my 30s no! Nor in my 40s or 50s either come to think about it but confidence definitely lessened once I reached my 60s and so I downsized to a nice little Connie. But she’s still fun

 

[setterlover]

After 2 horrendous riding accidents in the last couple of years one to my friend ( fell on by her horse now paraplegic ) and my sister ( killed after being bucked off her horse on the road) I have now hung up my riding boots and retired the two horses I have left( they are 24 and 20).
My husband has decided to stop riding his beloved Arab was PTS aged 26 he is in his late 70's and I am in my 70's
I love the remaining 2 and adore looking after them doing a little free schooling and ground work but my confidence has now gone and I do not ride now and I strangely feel liberated and don't miss it at all .
They are kept at home and when they go there will be no more we will sell up and downsize.
Age and experiences do make you evaluate what you are doing.

 

[LEC]

I wasn’t the bravest kid so probably braver now at 44. I also ride less crap and I think that helps. I ride proper jumping horses rather than cheap horses who I have picked up. I think I am a better rider now, more confident in my skill set and better at training horses.

I have also been forced into chemical menopause so glad I haven’t had the anxiety a lot seem to have.

 

[KittenInTheTree]

I don't see it as a confidence issue, but rather as a change in priorities.

 

[Chiffy]

Inevitably you get less brave in old age BUT 33!? That’s in your prime! I probably did my best eventing in my 30s and 40s but carried on competing and jumping till 60 when it was aches and pains that caught up with me rather than nerves.
I do think it can be hugely influenced by the horse(s) you ride.
I heard a lot about confidence going after childbirth, luckily it made no difference to me but I did have a good and trusty steed to get back on and I picked up where I left off. Menopause definitely made no difference, barely remember it. Perhaps I was lucky or it was just that riding completely dominated my life.

 

[ycbm]

I would ride anything and jump anything until I had my first bone breaking fall at about fifty. That knocked my confidence over fixed fences for six and I gave up eventing because confidence is essential for safety over fixed fences. I carried on jumping huge hedges out hunting and I still would be now if the drag hunts hadn't packed up. In the last few years, mid sixties, the fear of being permanently disabled has been getting bigger and bigger in my mind, and now I've been without a horse for 6 months, it's definitely one of the things which could stop me ever riding again.

Confidence is such a strange thing. With some of us it's more a need for adrenaline (a need to actually be frightened but overcome it) that drives us, with others is a level of belief in themselves and some people either don't have those or have them at a lower level. I think nearly everyone's confidence drops with age, and with some it is replaced with increased competence and/or increased experience. What age you start to feel the loss will, perhaps, depend on how big a bucketful you started with in the first place.

There's no shame in it, it just is. It's a dangerous sport.
.

 

[humblepie]

When I hit the menopause lost confidence in lots of things. Most of it has come back now.i had already stopped jumping well before then but that was as the horse I had retired from jumping and moved to other disciplines.

 

[splashgirl45]

I was fine till my mid 50’s and lost my nerve on the horse I bought when I was 55, she was a warm blood cross and very lively to hack out, I found myself worrying about what might happen to her if I fell off and let go. Previously I would ride anything and was confident I could deal with any problems that came up, I assume it’s a normal age thing as do many seem to feel the same .

 

[Skib]

Not really. My childhood donkey/pony rides on the beach on summer holiday were the most amazing treat.
And I didnt resume any riding till I was over 60.

but I did have a good and trusty steed to get back on

Exactly. Some people feel safe on a horse. And I ride a safe horse.
When I wandered off on the share mare this week I told her we would go to "the Tolstoy tree". In the days when gentlemen rode horses, their estates and parkland were designed to be surveyed from the back of a horse and there is a particular tree where a rider gets a clear view over many acres. The only equivalent for a non rider is to stand on a nearby bench.
On paper it is bonkers to ride about like a senile aristo (OH points out that Tolstoy died when he was younger than me) but I trust the mare and am using every scrap of intelligence to ride her. From the start I have always told the mares I hack that they may be stronger than I am, but I am cleverer.