Do you feel less confident as you have aged?

[Floofball]

Having always had wonky/broken horses that have all needed long periods of doing very little, I have come to the realisation that I no longer crave to be doing anything involving high adrenaline or risk. It’s almost embarrassing to admit that to fellow riders but that is who I am now (in my 50s) Also I’ve recently seen a couple of unfortunate accidents in very low risk situations and I’m now in a ‘anything could happen at any time’ mind frame that isn’t helping me. I would do anything on Floof if he could stay sound enough to do it, he’s my comfort blanket so to speak, but if I up his workload something gives so I’ve finally reconciled myself (and my bank balance) with him just being a happy hacker. My younger horse needs to be cracking on with life now but I know I’m not the person to be doing the education with him. There’s a lot of peer pressure for me to be enjoying a sound young horse - but I honestly don’t want to do it at the moment. He’s a lovely horse with a great temperament but he needs to be a proven ‘been there, done that’ type before I can take over the reins. Hopefully he’ll turn into another comfort blanket - but if he doesn’t I don’t think I’ll be going out looking for another!
I think there will always be horses in my life though as I can’t imagine not being around them. For me I think it’s not so much a confidence issue, it’s more a ‘older and wiser’ scenario

 

[Flowerofthefen]

As I ve got older and become more unfit I've found myself not wanting bomb round the countryside, because I don't want to injure my horse or hit the ground!! I used to jump on anything, I would jump anything , I never thought if the consequences!! I have been for a fabulous hack this morning, encountering all sorts, that is now enough of an adrenaline for me!

 

[setterlover]

the fear of being permanently disabled has been getting bigger and bigger in my mind, and now I've been without a horse for 6 months, it's definitely one of the things which could stop me ever riding again.
.

With my friend become paraplegic I have seen her life turned upside down resulting in her having to sell her lovely country cottage and her total lost of independence which believe me she is still really struggling with and the sudden loss of my sister in a riding accident I re evaluated my life and decided the risk is too high .
Neither were riding difficult horses but horses they had owned for many years neither were doing anything risky just hacking along a minor road things just went badly wrong.
.I love my life love walking my dogs going off in our caravan with our dogs for adventures all around the UK ,travelling abroad for our own adventures several times a year . I found I just wasn't prepared to loose all that .
I have enjoyed my years riding have hunted,ridden cross country ,show jumped but have decided the risks are just not worth it for me now I think age does come into it you certainly don't bounce as you did as a youngster.

 

[Borderreiver]

Think of it as doing things differently as you get older. Certainly the roads and other peoples attitudes and knowledge of horses have changed immensely. There are not the off road places we once had, not just designated bridleways but any old track which will be blocked these days. I love having horses though and even the smell and feel of them. I carriage drive my fell pony and get to enjoy looking after him and his field mates too. It keeps us fit as we age and is good for mental health. I’ve reached 70 now but horses are in the blood. I no longer ride but have lots of good memories of hours spent hacking.

 

[ponynutz]

I fell off this year and really hurt myself - felt like I'd been beaten up the next day and I couldn't move my arm properly for weeks (all checked out at A+E, I'd damaged the muscle not the bones). Wasn't even really a stupendous fall, just a pony that ran and bronced when I was halfway getting on and I came down with force.

I've been much more scared since now I know falling off hurts more than it did as a teenager. I'm only 21!

 

[MereChristmas]

A lady at my yard came off her pony last week. I believe but am not certain that it was a ‘simple’ spook, in that the rider didn’t know what caused it.
The rider always wears an air jacket. She was alone. I was told she has sore ribs which may have been from the jacket, I’m not sure.
She is 75
I don’t coincide with her much at the stables but I hope she will be OK.

I am 74.
Makes you think, doesn’t it?

 

[The Xmas Furry]

My 'old' friends all in their 60s like me, are still cracking on around me

Maybe I'm a little more risk averse these days, but I dont think my confidence has scuttled off. Perhaps my head has had too many bumps but I'm still happy to ride sharp or daft ones, jump too, tho only for schooling but not competing now.
Am very much looking forward to sitting on an RC chums youngsters later this week, both forwards going cheerful souls, tho do dance on occasions or lob in a leap when not required, they just need steady consistent work so am happy to help.

However, my core seems to have shrivelled a fair bit, so I'm not clever on anything that drops its shoulder or spins without notice. My concession on aging is to wear my BP when riding anything, as well as decent boots, hat and gloves.

Getting old sucks tho, my arthritic ankle gives me hell on occasions!

 

[MagicMelon]

For me, its not age so much as kids. Having 3 kids and a partner who goes on about "well if you fall off badly, who would look after the family" which does play on your brain - that responsibility. In my teens and 20's I had no responsibilities and no "what ifs". I use to thunder round 1* XC courses, jump 1.30's at home for fun, jump anything out on hacks. Nowadays Im a lot more careful. I wouldnt say my confidence has gone, Im just more aware of how much it hurts to fall off (the repercussions) and Im also more worried nowadays about damaging my horse. Would I do 1* XC again, yeah I believe I would if I had the horse power to do it, but am I desperate to go out and find that horse to enable it, nahh not really. Im happy enough doing lower stuff these days.

 

[MereChristmas]

My 'old' friends all in their 60s like me, are still cracking on around me

I was never one to jump high or ride horses of any age, size or temperament but I went hunting on my own horses until I was about 67 which was nearly 8 years ago. At that time my old pony had to be PTS and the younger horse developed arthritis which we could not ease.
I found getting older, minor health issues, the imminent new horse and changes at our hunt made me re-evaluate my riding life.
I downsized to a pony, put him at livery and no longer hunt.
I am enjoying riding even if I wish I could do as I did when I was younger.

As with everything we are different

 

[marmalade76]

Yes, ridiculously so. I think about all the things that could go wrong, things that never even entered my head when I was young.

Other things that do not help are lack of practice (I don't ride enough and haven't jumped for ages) and not being able to find the right horse since losing my best boy, with the horse market as it is now this has become virtually impossible without winning the lottery first. I have an old polo pony ATM who is a darling and fine for plodding round the lanes but is still a bit quicker and sharper than I'd like once out of a trot and I don't know if she'd jump at all.

I'm thinking about packing up next year, I don't really want the work anymore and I'm finding it hard to justify the ever increasing costs. I don't have to give up riding because I could find plenty riding for others, I'd probably ride more this way.

 

[poiuytrewq]

Yes absolutely. I think In my case though it’s a physical thing. I feel stiff and sore half the time my lower back and hip/pelvis is not right and doesn’t move like it should anymore and I know because of that I don’t have stickability anymore so that’s effected my confidence.
I still remember the days I loved horses messing round because I was safe in the knowledge I wasn’t going to fall off (or was very unlikely to fall)
Now I don’t have that feeling of security and know I might fall off!

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I was just about to post the same!

I'm horrified by what a wimp I've turned into

And me.

I had a nasty riding accident in my 40's then menopause and that just finished me off really.

 

[blitznbobs]

Definitely in my teens and twenties I was the person who got in anything … didn’t even think about it but I think it is having kids that changed me … I backed my own youngsters (usually big warmbloods) and then in the last 5 years had an incident that scuppered my confidence completely— it was a non event really but until this year i really struggled not only with the fear of being injured but my confidence in my ability to ride … this has come back somewhat by riding school masters but i still want a sane safe horse but equally i want one that is forward going … it is a tricky find but hopefully will have news on that score soon xx

 

[webble]

Yes completely, or rather more risk aware

 

[splashgirl45]

Definitely in my teens and twenties I was the person who got in anything … didn’t even think about it but I think it is having kids that changed me … I backed my own youngsters (usually big warmbloods) and then in the last 5 years had an incident that scuppered my confidence completely— it was a non event really but until this year i really struggled not only with the fear of being injured but my confidence in my ability to ride … this has come back somewhat by riding school masters but i still want a sane safe horse but equally i want one that is forward going … it is a tricky find but hopefully will have news on that score soon xx

You slipped that last bit in very quietly, should we get excited yet?

 

[paddy555]

I think just about all the posts are from women and I can see where you are all coming from. Are men different? Anxiety doesn't seem to have affected OH late 70's in the slightest. A few days ago his horse, known as a wimp and for spooking, turned 180 degrees in an instant and flew off back up the road. So much force in the turn, very fast and totally unexpected. OH merely turned him, brought him back and we carried on. I congratulated him on staying on and he genuinely thought it was nothing. Absolutely nothing to get over excited about.
In 2002 he had an accident so late 50's then. A very difficult young arab panicked, bolted on the road and that was the last I saw of the pair of them. After about 1/4 mile either the horse turned flat out 90 degrees onto the common or OH manage to turn him. Bolting continued and I found the horse about a mile away sans rider.
Couldn't find OH, organised a search party and just about to call the search and rescue people. Finally found him in waist deep bracken drifting in and out of consciousness. Luckily one of my search party was a nurse so she took charge, air ambulance and road ambulance arrived and air lifted to hospital which kept him in. So not a trivial incident

After he came back home I gave it a few days and wondered what would happen. Did he still want to ride? I offered him the quietest horse we had and said I would walk beside them for a while. He was horrified, asked I tacked up his usual arab stallion and off he went apparently without a care in the world. Or at least he didn't have

 

[splashgirl45]

I think men find it more difficult to admit they are worried but don’t forget they don’t go through menopause like we do and that does affect our emotions a lot

 

[dominobrown]

I am often in chronic pain so I know if I fall off I am going to be truly broken and I can't balance/ move etc how I used to. Yea Chronic pain

 

[scats]

I think it’s the impact it has on everyday life aswell. If I fall off now and injure myself I can’t work, so can’t earn. I used my house deposit savings when I broke my ankle, which wiped that out.
The financial knock-on effects I am still feeling now, 18 months later.

 

[planete]

I do not think I feel any less confident but I am more careful as I know I am not as strong as I used to be and I would only ride a horse who has not learnt to use his strength against mine. I also do my damnedest not to put myself in situations where I am likely to come off because I am on anti coagulant meds and brain bleeds are not advisable. I have always had a strong self preservation instinct and known my limits which has kept me in one piece so far so you could say I have never been the do anything ride anything kind of rider anyway.

 

[Goldenstar]

I am often in chronic pain so I know if I fall off I am going to be truly broken and I can't balance/ move etc how I used to. Yea Chronic pain

Chronic pan is crap .

 

[HuskyFluff]

I'm currently too fat to ride, but I have noticed my confidence drops in relation to how fit I am

 

[splashgirl45]

I do not think I feel any less confident but I am more careful as I know I am not as strong as I used to be and I would only ride a horse who has not learnt to use his strength against mine. I also do my damnedest not to put myself in situations where I am likely to come off because I am on anti coagulant meds and brain bleeds are not advisable. I have always had a strong self preservation instinct and known my limits which has kept me in one piece so far so you could say I have never been the do anything ride anything kind of rider anyway.

I am also on blood thinners and I did come off and thought I had landed on my bum and back but my head must have hit the road after the rest of me. I had a brain bleed and they had trouble stopping it which meant I was in hospital for 2 & 1/2 weeks, not fun!!! I have given up horses as the hospital doc said I will now have a weakness there and need to be extra careful. I’ve had to change my whole way of living which is very difficult as horses have been in my life for over 50 years…

 

[Nonjumper]

I've never been a confident rider, not even when I was a kid. A few falls, getting bolted with, and being a member of a Pony Club whose instructors believed that in order to knock the fear out of someone you basically over-faced them, put paid to any bravery in the saddle I might have gained. As a result the majority of my riding life, particularly as an adult, was spent plodding round the lanes. Two of the horses I had gave me enough confidence to take them to fun rides, but I never ever popped over any of the jumps. I haven't been able to ride for years now on orders from my doctor but I miss it, and if things had been different I would ride again if I found the right horse to plod around the lanes with again.

 

[planete]

I am also on blood thinners and I did come off and thought I had landed on my bum and back but my head must have hit the road after the rest of me. I had a brain bleed and they had trouble stopping it which meant I was in hospital for 2 & 1/2 weeks, not fun!!! I have given up horses as the hospital doc said I will now have a weakness there and need to be extra careful. I’ve had to change my whole way of living which is very difficult as horses have been in my life for over 50 years…

I am sorry this happened to you. I have been lucky so far. I have had a very small brain bleed from an accident on the ground which stopped quickly once the anti coagulant had been neutralised with a drip of some reversing agent and was only advised to stop the anti coagulant for six weeks afterwards.

 

[palo1]

For me the loss of basic idiocy/raw courage has been somewhat balanced by more knowledge and more determination to learn stuff properly. However, along the way, loss of strength/fitness and the emotional attrition from having, and seeing, some horrible accidents has made me more wary of 'winging it'. Also, as time has gone on I am probably more concerned about my horses and what they enjoy and feel confident about. I have had young horses and nurturing their confidence, and sometimes accepting my own disappointment has meant a real shift in what I feel is important to 'achieve '. I miss my youthful bravado and determination - they often looked like confidence but I am where I am, perhaps with less balls but definitely with more skill, consideration and patience. Sometimes that feels a fair exchange, sometimes not! Aging is tricky stuff in lots of ways...

 

[Skib]

However, my core seems to have shrivelled a fair bit

No seeming. It happens. I have shrunk. We oldies had to go for an NHS check up at the local shopping centre, They measured our height and I am an inch shorter now than when I started this share. Makes sense, as I thought the mare had grown and the YM told me she hadnt.

 

[Splinters]

I stopped riding in my mid-thirties; in my younger days I had some crunching falls but always somehow 'got away with it', nothing more than bruises and a mild concussion. Then I had a painful fall from a riding school pony which chucked me off with force. The arena wasn't very well looked after, the surface was damp and impacted and when my head hit the dirt, it stopped dead. My body carried on, doing a flip. There is some damage to my cervical spine as a result and though I got back on (briefly!) at the time, I've not been on a horse since. It dawned on me that it could have been so much nastier and it felt like it was a warning that it was the last of my luck. I think it was superstition that made me stop as much as a lack of confidence.

In my sixties now with a lifelong illness and (currently) an unrelated spinal injury awaiting surgery, I won't be riding again but have kept up my interest. Maybe groundwork would be the way for me to get involved again once I've recovered.

 

[Sugarplum Furry]

Into my mid sixties I was still riding my arab and my arab x welsh mare. They were both full on and very quirky but I felt safe as houses on either on them. Then I lost both within 2 years, my confidence went with them when they died, and I grieve for that as much as I do for them.

 

[Jenko109]

For sure.

As a teenager I rode anything and blasted about all over the place. I liked to ride ponies who were full of beans, jogging, strong etc.. not being able to stop was hilarious fun!

Now I prefer to ride something which is quiet enough that I can just switch off on a hack, plod along on the buckle and I certainly want to be able to stop