Do you tell your partner the truth?

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doodle

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Light hearted post!

Conversation at yard today. New livery new to horses, saying her partner has no idea the cost and don't tell him. Farrier was there at the same time and was saying he has a few people who say if partner asks a set of shoes is £20. He even has people who have told partner they have 1 horse when in fact they have 3. My friends husband still thinks her horse is on loan only.
Anyone else??
 
I'm a bit ashamed to admit it but at one point I had seven horses and my Mother thought that I had one.

I justify this with that fact that she's happier not knowing the truth! I am supposedly grown up and completely independent but my Mother's disapproval at me having horses has never gone away!

My partner knows everything and I'm happy to be open with him as it's me that pays for everything.
 
-My husband thought hay was free because it was grass farmers needed to get rid of.
-Shoes were ten euro as they kept the same set for years and just got their hooves filed, which was cheap of course
-vets 12 euro per hour

When we moved the horses home he realised our whole marriage was built on a web of lies and he had money embezzeled from him for years. If he had done similar to me i'd kill him, but I think he knows its a lost cause so has just adapted to him new life where all our money goes on them.
 
I always tell my OH the truth tbh couldn't live any other way but he trusts me to live within our means and I only discuss horse related expenses when strictly necessary ie for some reason it is exceptional in some way. I would never buy a horse without discussing the budget first. We are a partnership.
 
I don't lie to him but I don't tell him about every purchase either. We have a 100% joint account and I pay my farrier and livery by BACS so he'd see those anyway. We earn very similar amounts and never check up on the other's spending. We trust each other not to take the p*** and don't quibble abut who's bought the most that month or who owes who what. Having said that, I certainly would tell him about a big purchase like a saddle for example and discuss a really big purchase like a new horse.
 
DSW knows the cost of everything and is a bit of an enabler ("there are two new matchy sets coming out and can't decide which to get" says me "get them both" says he) but I do fully support his trainer habit so swings and roundabouts really :D
 
Cost of our saddle has been fabricated, some zeros knocked off the end. Otherwise he knows what he costs, hubby pays livery, I pay for everything else to do with him. We have an arrangement, he pays for livery and says nothing about the costs, and I do all housework. It works for us!
 
annagain said:
I don't lie to him but I don't tell him about every purchase either. We have a 100% joint account and I pay my farrier and livery by BACS so he'd see those anyway. We earn very similar amounts and never check up on the other's spending. We trust each other not to take the p*** and don't quibble abut who's bought the most that month or who owes who what. Having said that, I certainly would tell him about a big purchase like a saddle for example and discuss a really big purchase like a new horse.
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Same here. If he doesn't ask I don't tell him about small things. I'm sure he knows how much most things cost anyway. He might be a bit shocked to find I pay £15 for a sack of feed, but that's because he hasn't asked. Same as I don't ask what he spends on his mountain biking. I'd tell him about big things just as I'd go ballistic if he bought a new bike without telling me.
 
One of my family members didn't know I had gone away to go horse shopping, just thought I had a "little holiday". bit of a surprise when I came back. :p
 
my partnership is relatively new towards some of yours i bet,...but i couldn't get away with much (not that i would anyhow as it's just not my style)...as he runs a livery yard and knows all there is to know about the costs that go with owning horses!
 
Wimbles said:
I'm a bit ashamed to admit it but at one point I had seven horses and my Mother thought that I had one.

I justify this with that fact that she's happier not knowing the truth! I am supposedly grown up and completely independent but my Mother's disapproval at me having horses has never gone away!

My partner knows everything and I'm happy to be open with him as it's me that pays for everything.
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It wasn't planned but my Mum had died before I took up riding again at 49, she'd have had a fit, I never stopped hearing I was too old to have long hair so me having horses and her alive would have been a daily nightmare.

And no I don't lie though do sometimes 'forget' to mention things but nothing major.
 
I kept horse #2 secret from my ex partner for 4 months..he thought she was on loan. I never did actually tell him, we broke up instead :P
 
I tell him. Whether he actually listens or not is another story.

Today he did buy me a numnah with shims to temporarily solve a saddle issue until a new saddle can be found (sort we want 2nd hand is like rocking horse poo). This because he right royally screwed up trying to be romantic. He bought an expensive bottle of whiskey for a Valentine present (first time in 15 years!) out of my money... the money I had carefully scrimped and saved for, to buy said numnah.
 
As a child my non horsey mum did not tell my dad she bought me a pony. He knew I rode one but thought it was a friends I borrowed. She died when I was in my early 20's and he told me when we were reminiscing a few years after she'd gone. He said it was one of the best things she did (buy the pony) kept me off the Manchester streets at night until I was over 16 :D
She knew we couldn't really afford it and that the answer would have been no at the time
Mind you we also told him my brother jeans were £20 so when she died it was up to me to get him his jeans (they were not £20!!!)
 
I'm completely open with OH about costs, although I sometimes think he blocks it out. He was the one that reassured me when I was stressing about being able to afford two, and as a result now pays half of Pops' livery, but then again he pretty much considers her his these days anyway.

That said, he was pretty shocked at how much rugs cost when we were at YHL...he's never asked how much they are and I've never mentioned it, but I do usually buy mine in the sales.
 
Kamikaze said:
Light hearted post!

Conversation at yard today. New livery new to horses, saying her partner has no idea the cost and don't tell him. Farrier was there at the same time and was saying he has a few people who say if partner asks a set of shoes is £20. He even has people who have told partner they have 1 horse when in fact they have 3. My friends husband still thinks her horse is on loan only.
Anyone else??
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There are many of my horses bills/ things I do which are in the vault which hubby does not know.
 
Was texting my friend about finding out I've two foals due and how excited I was.

Was actually texting my mum.
 
I'm in the if he doesn't ask i dont tell camp. Hubby knows they cost alot but doesn't know exact figures nor do i think he wants too. We both trust each other to spend within our means.
 
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