Does anyone do strange things by your horses field?

This tread is sooo funny - I have not stopped laughing!!

No funny stories im afraid.... got some boring ones though!

We had our electirc fencing unit knicked in broad daylight down our private gated drive!!

Also walkers are p***ing me off at the moment as they have left the gate open in our field 3 times now since march letting our 6 horses into the farmers field!!!

And one woman walker marched down our private drive telling me I had moved the public footpath - as our drive was what it showed on 'her' map - not the one which runs through the field - and that she was not going to walk through a feild of horses! And that people like me did what I wanted!!

WHAT????

Rant over - back to the poo please!
 
I remember when one of our dogs found a plastic bag of something in the field, he took it back to the garden feeling very pleased with himself and started eating whatever it was inside it. After chasing him round the garden a few times we finally managed to get it off him to horrifyingly find it was a waitrose bag full of human poo!

And to add insult even more, our dog decided to throw it all back up in the back of the car!!!

Yum.
 
My neighbour caught some kids who had set a Tshirt alight on our (wooden) gate post. Thankfully it smouldered rather than burnt.

The worst was a (nameless) local pub landlord who, without our prior knowledge or permission, this Easter, set a treasure hunt to be done by car, which resulted in carloads of parents and kids coming down our singletrack lane (with a couple of passing places) causing absolute chaos apparently (we were out). It was the first clue, to find our gate at the end of the road, look over and find a bunny and count the eggs, with the note that you may have to climb over the gate. As a consequence every overweight kid swung over our gate, couldn't see the bunny, traipsed across our hay paddock totally flattening it to our top gate (of same description) then came back shouting they couldn't see it and oh it was stuck to the inside of our gate!

When we came back (having left mega early for a XC event) with the trailer, which we reverse into the drive, you can imagine the chaos we caused with cars coming up and down the road at the same time, having to wait for me to reverse and then cars coming up meet cars coming down, both sides with cars behind and no passing space for 100 yards tee hee!

Sadly the top of the paddock was totally flattened and never really recovered enough to cut (it didn't rain after that and was then dry till early June) and since then, as it's a very sheltered field it just hasn't been dry and hot enough (we need 5 consecutive days) - so that's possibly cost us about 20-40 bales of hay.

We also found a stolen cash register (from a local pub) in the gate to next door, and the field the other side has a disused sub station building and someone as found hanging abouit 6 or 7 years ago (not found by us). We often get stolen cars down, once they crashed into the pole with the overhead substation (replaced the building) and put the electricity out for the road for nearly 3 weeks,.

Drinkers, the sex mad, the poosters is all too common here for me to cite individual cases along with the serial dumpers - once our road was blocked by a complete pick up load of turf. (he'd reversed down but the only passing places 'suitabl'e for dumping had cars parked, so I guess he just thought he'd block the road) Took me and a council worker an hour to clear.
 
Pluto said:
Not horses, but a friend of mine found a man having sex with her cows this week!! He said they were gods creatures and as such they were his to have sex with !!!!!!!! Needless to say he was taken away by the police !!!!
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:eek::eek::eek:

I would find this extremely hard to deal with, kind of make you worried about what is happening when you are not there, and what you might find next time, not to mention the image stuck in your head
 
Once saw a car driving into our land and hiding behind some bushes where some work was being done (ground being scraped & flattened etc for a storage space for machinery/work vehicles etc - dad's a builder) when me & my brothers were just going round our land with our off-road buggy. drove past the car with an old, old man in it and a young girl - only about 14. girl looked very uncomfortable and man looked very dodgy!! so we went back up and told my dad who went down and locked the gate into our road so they couldn't get out until he decided what he was going to do. 15 mins later old man drove up our road to the house and spoke to me as i was at the stables with my horses. he asked me if i had locked the gate - i said no but my dad did it. before my dad could come out the house to ask him what on earth he was up to, old man said to me "this is not private property" so i said "excuse me but it is, it is used for business and you are trespassing"

he says: "it is not private property, there were no signs up" so i quickly replied "bet you're garden doesn't have signs up, does that mean i can go park my car in your garden and get up to all sorts?"

he just shut up and got back in his car. lol
 
When we visited our land in Morocco a year or two ago (just a couple of acres with a huge wall around it), we found a local farmer had forced the door open and had planted a crop there - also had sheep wandering around it! I thought my OH would go bonkers but he just told the farmer to watch the land for us........That year someone stole our water pump.
 
My dad is a lorry driver and he has told me some horros about what he see's people doing while diving :eek:

The most common thing he see's is a girl passenger 'pleasuring' her boyfriend driver.... :eek: This on a motorway!
 
Andik- my friends dad is a accident investigator, he was called out one morning to an accident involving a man and woman. Got there and turns out she had been 'pleasuring' her man whilst he was driving, something happened and he breaked, she bit it OFF- choked on it and died and the man bled to death.

Sad really but defiantly a strange one!
 
SpottyTB said:
Andik- my friends dad is a accident investigator, he was called out one morning to an accident involving a man and woman. Got there and turns out she had been 'pleasuring' her man whilst he was driving, something happened and he breaked, she bit it OFF- choked on it and died and the man bled to death.

Sad really but defiantly a strange one!
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OUCH!
 
Not as shocking as some of the others, but i found it funny all the same :)

We have a woods next to our stables which people offen walk though. One day we saw some people and their dogs trying to climb over the fence so that they could walk though the paddock. Me and some friends calmly told them it was private property and they left. A few minutes later, when we went to get one of the horses from one of the paddocks on the other side of the sable, we realised the people had left one of their dogs in the field. The funniest bit was that rather than the dog chasing the horses, all the horses had got together and had decided to chase the dog! We managed to rescue the poor thing and return it to its owners. It was still hilarious though :D
 
PentathlonQueen said:
Not as shocking as some of the others, but i found it funny all the same :)

We have a woods next to our stables which people offen walk though. One day we saw some people and their dogs trying to climb over the fence so that they could walk though the paddock. Me and some friends calmly told them it was private property and they left. A few minutes later, when we went to get one of the horses from one of the paddocks on the other side of the sable, we realised the people had left one of their dogs in the field. The funniest bit was that rather than the dog chasing the horses, all the horses had got together and had decided to chase the dog! We managed to rescue the poor thing and return it to its owners. It was still hilarious though :D
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When I was young I used to ride my horse to visit my parents, who lived on a housing estate where dogs roamed about and weren't used to horses. As I crossed the local playing field, a pack would appear and give chase. So I'd get some speed up, then spin my horse round and canter back towards the dogs.

They'd take one look at the huge animal bearing down on them, and sactter yelping for home. You're right, hilarious! :D
 
As I was riding past I found some strange metal boxes in the hedgerow and ditch on the other side (public road side) of our field.There were loads of them. I got off for a closer look and picked some up to examine them. None the wiser (I was a teenager at the time) I shrugged, rode off and forgot about them. A few days later the place was swarming with police. They were safety deposit boxes from a major bank robbery in London, and millions of pound worth of contents had been nicked! I felt really daft - I had no idea what they were, so I never said anything.
 
likkibunni said:
. . . . .I clocked two guys in a field just off the road, thought they were taking soil samples or something (poor innocent me) as one guy was kneeling (The soil sampler obviously) and the other was stood up (Data logger obviously) . . . . .
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Absolutely brill !!! Crying with laughter !! Just the sort of naive thing I would think they were doing !!
 
Well, some latest news.
Found = 1 upside down BMW on TOP of one of our gates.
Gate now bent, changed identity?
2 humans accounted for and taken for checks by blue siren thingy.
1 wooden gatepost broken.
20 yards of hedge flattened.
1 footpath closed due to unidentifiable style.

Very lucky no horse nor cow were in said field, cos they sure would have 'investigated' it themselves, causing added chaos no doubt!

WHOOPS.
 
Not a field one but my mum used to teach at a large school in \essex and on the last day of year 11 they found a human poo in the science equiptment cupboard and lots of frogs tied to the banister of the main-stairwell (sadly most died :( ) they were from the school pond.
 
I was once walking back to my stables from turning out, and a car had pulled up and parked across the drive into the field. There was a woman squatting in the middle of my drive taking a pee!!! All I saw was this enormous bottom (sorry but it was!) and her peeing! I shouted oi what do you think you are doing, and you have never seen anyone move so fast!!
 
Im always caught short out hacking and have to find a nice quiet place to have a quick pee. Im just waiting for somebody to find me with me horse just stood staring at me. Dont think ive ever found anything dodgy though
 
found 4 youths asleep in my field shelter once. Naughtily I removed their neatly placed boots tied the shoe laces together in odd pairs and distributed them around the hedgerow. no-one woke up ,they were snooring. bet they had a thistely walk though...............
another time there was a stash of stuff from local shops in a large hawthorn tree,potato peelertins of fruit,spatular. all new. we reckon kids were nicking it from the local co-op,it was the summer holidays. all this was years ago. I'm not at that place anymore.
 
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RebelRebel said:
My horsey landlord had his wedding reception in my front field it is 8 acres so plenty big enough. I thought people might trek over to see my horse but wasn't worried even though he was a stallion as such a sweetie and fairly shatterproof.

I arrive next morning to find that it got to about midnight and horse was still chatting to people over the gate. 'Somehow' horse was let into the party field and spent the rest of the night hanging out in the marquee :eek: Apparently he browsed the buffet :o and tried a few drinks :o. Several people spent the night slumped in the marquee, I think the horse was one of them :cool:
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Just creased at this, thank you! (Assuming your horse was no worse after his late night partying). lol.
 
not by the field

but was hacking with friends one day and we came across a bouncing car/ Well of course it would be my nosey WC that marched up to said car to investigate. I could do nothing but go along for the ride. He put his nose on the window, I was turning the other way so embarrassed as the woman in the car screamed her head off:eek::eek:

Never did find out if my WC scared her half to death or she was just having a good time::p

But my friends were all peeing themselves laughing at me or rather nosey pony
 
:D:D Many many years ago (probably about 40 actually), I was cantering my old NF pony around the track at the perimeter of a huge plot of common land - we bowled around a bend and pony took a flying leap over something that I hadn't noticed.........turned out to be a couple 'at it' in the long grass........jolly lucky he saw them in time or they'd have had a really earth moving experience and hoofprints in places that hoofprints really shouldn't be had!

Another time, but same place more or less; same pony shied at something in the bushes which turned out to be a young chap 'sorting himself out' if you get my drift......

A few years ago I found a shoe thrown into my field which turned out to be missing evidence in a murder enquiry.......a trifle disturbing that was :(
 
Not by my field, but out hacking.

I was riding my old share Horse and he suddenly started spooking and jogging. I couldn't see what it was but as we rounded the corner I saw a car with 3 teenagers jumping on it. I walked past, then they got in the car and tried to chase me! I had to canter and jump a log in to a field to get away from them.

The next time I was out on my mare, I was riding with a friend and we passed a car on the edge of the road. Casually looked through window as there were 2 people going at it. They mustv'e heard us as both stopped and watched us go by. Funny thing was, they didn't "seperate" to watch us. They had no shame, I was so embarrassed I had to look the other way. My friend was killing herself laughing though.
 
ive had someone set up a tent outside my field.. when the bloke woke up he wondered over to me and was like sorry for sleeping outside the gate... i was going to come in but didnt know what was in there! rude man.
good job i didnt need to drive in the gate.. would have run him over
 
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