Does anyone else ever feel a bit rubbish?

T

Tinkle

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Evening all

Feel a bit of a fraud posting this in here as I am clearly not a competition rider (barely even a rider at the moment what with one thing and another). But does anyone else ever go through a phase with riding when it's not so much you've lost your confidence as in you're frightened and more just you think you're rubbish?

I know the solution is probably lessons from a good supportive instructor - something I can't afford right now but I intend to start again this year. I have a lovely little youngster to work on and a delightful (if occasionally broken) older mare. I've had the mare for 7 years and she wasn't exactly the ideal first horse - I fell off her more than I care to remember and she frightened me on more than one occasion (plenty more!). Things started to improve with her (years later) but now she has soundness problems. So I have my little youngster. His old owner said how chilled out he was. And like a lot of youngsters he is (to the point of being lazy), until something winds him up and then he seems to lose the ability to think coherently and listen to anything he's told. And I just feel like it's my fault - like maybe I'm not riding him positively enough and giving him confidence. And in the school we were really struggling with getting into canter and I think it's my fault somehow. And I haven't managed to get him hacking out on his own yet. And then just to top it all off I took my older mare to the beach and whilst everyone else manages to enjoy it, I'm the one that ends up on the floor.

I just seem to keep hearing of all these people who get new horses and it all falls more or less into place. But in just over a month I'll have had my youngster a year and I've achieved the grand total of nothing. I know I shouldn't beat myself up too much as in winter I can't ride after work as there's no floodlights and he's had a virus over the last couple of months. But I just feel totally lacking in confidence about my ability to bring him on over the next few months.

So really other than taking the opportunity to have a good old whinge, what I'm really looking for is inspiration? Anyone got any stories of getting their confidence back...horses that were unpromising to start but were great in the end...etc etc.

I would really appreciate it.

Thanks,
x
 
i,ve only just recently come to realise the power of your mind everything you say in a negative way you end up believing try to focus on every positive thing no matter how little it seems also self help books like paul mckenna books helped me no end.its not yr inability to ride its yr mind stopping you to achieve what you want
 
Absolutely agree with caseygirl - sounds like what you need is a bit of positive thinking. It really does go a long way. I have many many 'I'm rubbish' moments, usually at highly inconvenient times (like in the middle of a competition..) which can turn into a downward spiral. But if I can make myself think more positively, and just concentrate on the good stuff they are easier to overcome.

As you say, some time with a decent instructor would also help, but in my experience, it only REALLY helps if you also find a way to believe in yourself. I posted a couple of weeks ago about sports psychology, which we had been discussing on the yard as I am so negative about my riding. I thought it might help if I could get over feeling daft. Someone posted an interesting link, will see if I can find it.

Also, it sounds like you are putting a fair amount of pressure on yourself - remember it's supposed to be fun! Perhaps if you can get some input from someone knowledgeable and encouraging, you could set some small achieveable goals (quick wins, if you like) to give yourself a boost and then carry on from there?
 
The 2 above have got it nailed!
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Feel more confident about yourself and it will start to feel like you are doing better!!!

Don't aim to produce a fab 4yo in a year! wont happen unless you have every day for a long period of time! and even then.... no horse is perfect! ever!

At least your older lady still has a spring in her! always a good sign!
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and youngsters are just that..... young! Its like asking a kid to behave like a golden boy 24/7.... NEVER gonna happen!

The fact that you keep trying and doing it is an achievment in itself I know a number of people who fall of 2 or 3 times and go right im cr*p im giving up!!! and they miss out on all the great times riding offers!!!

Chin up and keep plucking along! You'll hopefully find a teacher who will allow you to find the fun in riding again!

And you have just made me want to go on a beach ride now!!! damn living near manchester! gr!
 
Echo above. Positive thinking really goes well, just think about what you can do. Think about what you love to do with your horses and what you do well with them. Do that for a while until you get the spark back, then focus on the trickier or less fun things. Also take the time to just be around the horses by spending an extra few minutes with them, and that seemed to help me when I was going through a rough spot in riding.
 
Yes!!! There are times I have to work hard not too! I really like the Jane Savoie books...excellent for getting you into a posiitve mind set. You could also try writing a horse diary. I bet your youngster has come on loads in lots of little ways. If you start recording things I bet you will surprise yourself at how far you really have come!
 
Horses are a challenge that is why we all love them so much if we wanted something straight forward we would ride a bike.

I bought my big lad and he was far more than i should have bought and because of this we ended up in some dangerous situations but i persevered with him(and him with me) and we clicked it took about 3 years but the next 3 years have been worth every minute i spend crying and saying i was holding him back and he would be better with a better rider.

Keep plugging away and take small steps, log each ride so you can see just how far you have come. Ride with an aim so that you feel yourself achieving something. If you have a problem with walk trot transitions then work on them till you have it sorted then work on the next thing that way you will be able to give yourself little confidence boosts.
 
a couple of months back my horse started rearing loads, and wouldnt walk up road away from the stables either. he was unrideable, and hard for me to lead without some help, he reared up at me when i was turning him out on more than one occasion, i got afraid to ride and when i did attempt to ride him, he would rear and get upset and i would get off.i felt like it was because i wasnt a good enough rider, and i didnt know what to do with him we had a horse behaviouralist come, and help, and she showed me how to train him to pressure and release signals, and helped me get my confidence back and now ive managed to jump for the first time in about three months today!
 
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