This is not a training issues, to ride and handle for me at least he has never put a foot wrong, I hate him fot not letting me look after him in the way he deserves to be looked after, I cant just keep him in the field retired (which is what I would love to do) he not only puts himself at risk but others and the public too, nor can I keep him stabled, believe me ive tried everything and he just makes things impossible im so unbelievably frustrated that I do sometimes hate him for putting himself in such an awful situation that pts is looking like my only option. All I want to do is look after him!
When my horse is being a idiot (and that's quite a lot of the time), I joke and say I hate her but truth be told I unconditionally love her.I have one that, while I don't hate him, in fact I love him dearly frustrates the hell out of me. At the same time I pity him as life in general is so scary for him, if that makes sense?
He's a total over reactor panic merchant. It's not even as if its the same triggers every or even most of the time - whats fine one day can bring on a total meltdown the next and then be fine again the following day. The real problem is that when he goes he is lethal and becomes blind to anything around him. He WILL go through or over anything that is in his way with no thought even for his own safety. If he's put under any pressure under saddle he WILL go up and often over. Like I said - lethal. If he has even a minor 'bad experience' of something ie farrier it will take up to a year for him to calm down with the farrier again. He's had more vet checks, exams and tests that you can throw a stick at - to the extent that a vet offered Ritalin, effectively permanent sedation to see if that would help. My very experienced, no nonsense equine vet still shakes his head at him and says that he's never seen the like. Natural horsemanship people (look, I was desperate
In his defence, when calm he is a sweetheart - loving and affectionate to the very few people he trusts. Rock solid with traffic (that doesn't mean that he won't spook into the path of a truck though if a leaf looks dodgy), dogs and even pigs! After 17 years I know some of his triggers but there are still new ones thrown in, often with little or no warning and a disproportionate reaction to minor things - daffodils one spring brought on near hysterics, the next year they were fine! Some squirrels are horse killers, others in the same tree are cute to his silly little brain. I've owned him since weaning so take full responsibility for his behaviour but in my defence I have owned and handled many horses in my 40 years of riding and never had such a failure...he destroyed my confidence in the saddle over the years. It's not just that he could easily kill me, it's the fear that he will kill or seriously injure somebody else - it's a real possibility because his panic is so extreme at times.
As a result, there are only 2 other people who are allowed touch him. Anyway, nobody else can catch him. At my previous yard I had to put in writing that nobody was allowed to take him out of the field for any reason after some idiot tried to get him in (he had a small cut on his leg, I *think* they were trying to be helpful or maybe trying to prove a point?) but they let him go and couldn't catch so I had to get back from work 2 hours away to get him. He'd been loose on the main road at one point. One of the reasons he's not there any more...
At 18 he's retired now and has been for about 5 years. He seems happy and as chilled as he's ever been being a semi feral horse, living out with minimal handling. I freely accept that I must have been part of his problems but rehoming him was never a real option as despite being shared/loaned with full disclosure of his issues on a couple of occasions he was a nightmare, it never lasted more than a few weeks but took months for him to get over the stress.
I love him but I hate his behaviour and my inability to sort it.
I have a different problem in that we love our horse but every other livery on the yard hates him, he has had a bad start to life but with care and love we have transformed him to a loveable chap,sadly he can still get stressed and upset when he feels in danger (he had been badly beaten) or trapped. Unfortunately the other liveries don't want to listen to do's and don'ts with him with the result he has barged a couple of them. He is now the worst thing on earth and we are the worst owners ever. I can understand they feel he's dangerous but all horses are bigger than us and capable of harming us, intentionally or unintentionally. I had a sustained attack on his and my character by the other liveries yesterday and felt so alone with the worst horse ever but I googled bolshy horse and read so many stories of horses much worse than mine, so I feel a bit better today. Searching for field we can go on our own now, fed up of other owners who won't listen.
You sound a very responsible owner to me, if others will not listen to you and follow a routine/system that works for your horse then they are the ones at fault.
