weesophz
Well-Known Member
brilliant haha
Does your oh get it
- Thread starter atlantis
- Start date
brilliant haha
dreamcometrue
Well-Known Member
My OH is interested in what I do with my horse and is glad I have something to keep me sane and contented. He always asks me how my ride was and he very occasionally visits the yard. Other than that he doesn't get involved which is really how I like it because my horse is my downtime from the world.
DanceswithCows
Well-Known Member
Mine actively hates horses and is quite appalled that I've bought one.
WelshD
Well-Known Member
Mine doesnt completely get it as the other animals we have give something back like eggs or meat so he doesnt really understand the whole horsey thing. He DOES understand dedication to a hobby though and since we went from three chickens to over 200 when I took up chicken showing he has breathed a sigh of relief that I have stopped at just the two ponies!
Tobiano
Well-Known Member
brilliant!
Slightly better than 'mine actively hates accountants and is quite appalled that I am one' .... ahem!
_GG_
Well-Known Member
Dan wanted to learn how to do everything just in case he ever needed to, which came in very handy 6 weeks ago!
He isn't really interested but he does get it. When he does come to the yard, I can't pull him away from the horses, but if he's not there, he has no desire to go. That said, he came up one day with me and I'd done quite a bit of schooling on Fly the day before or it might even have been that morning, I can't remember, but I had been hoping he'd have a sit on her for ages, so I said, "love, do you mind if I just tack up and jump on for 5 minutes. I don't want her to seize up and just want to walk her gently for 10 minutes."
There was nobody else there and when I tacked her up, he did ask me what was so great about horses that I will get up at stupid o'clock to poo pick/muck out/ride even if I am on deaths door and the weather is bad. So, I handed him the bridle, told him how to put the reins over Flys head knowing full well this means cuddle time and this is what happened...
http://youtu.be/z_x0wYrkVr0
He could not believe that a horse could be like that. He was genuinely taken aback by her being so sweet and gentle and he now sees it as his mission to try and make every horse he sees relax with him like this. I do tend to have this affect on horses after a while with them and he is picking it up now.
We went into the school and every other time I have offered him a ride, he has said no. He's said, "I'll tell you when I am ready, but today is not that day".
Well, that evening, he sat in the gallery and watched me wander around with my legs hooked up over the front of the saddle, chilling out, riding on the buckle, steering with my shoulders and as I walked past the gallery he said, "I think today might be the day!".
I could have just smothered him in kisses. Fly is a complete nightmare sometimes, but when she is around nervous or novicey people, she just knows to be good. He had a great time, trying to steer her to do figure of eights, serpentines, spiraling onto a smaller circle and leg yielding out...which was amusing...Fly knew what he meant so she did it, but I don't think Dan had any idea...lol.
I consider myself lucky. I know when we have our own land, he will end up with one of his own and he has admitted as much. For now, I am happy that I have the yard and he has the garage and we help each other and willingly get involved whenever the other needs it.
He isn't really interested but he does get it. When he does come to the yard, I can't pull him away from the horses, but if he's not there, he has no desire to go. That said, he came up one day with me and I'd done quite a bit of schooling on Fly the day before or it might even have been that morning, I can't remember, but I had been hoping he'd have a sit on her for ages, so I said, "love, do you mind if I just tack up and jump on for 5 minutes. I don't want her to seize up and just want to walk her gently for 10 minutes."
There was nobody else there and when I tacked her up, he did ask me what was so great about horses that I will get up at stupid o'clock to poo pick/muck out/ride even if I am on deaths door and the weather is bad. So, I handed him the bridle, told him how to put the reins over Flys head knowing full well this means cuddle time and this is what happened...
http://youtu.be/z_x0wYrkVr0
He could not believe that a horse could be like that. He was genuinely taken aback by her being so sweet and gentle and he now sees it as his mission to try and make every horse he sees relax with him like this. I do tend to have this affect on horses after a while with them and he is picking it up now.
We went into the school and every other time I have offered him a ride, he has said no. He's said, "I'll tell you when I am ready, but today is not that day".
Well, that evening, he sat in the gallery and watched me wander around with my legs hooked up over the front of the saddle, chilling out, riding on the buckle, steering with my shoulders and as I walked past the gallery he said, "I think today might be the day!".
I could have just smothered him in kisses. Fly is a complete nightmare sometimes, but when she is around nervous or novicey people, she just knows to be good. He had a great time, trying to steer her to do figure of eights, serpentines, spiraling onto a smaller circle and leg yielding out...which was amusing...Fly knew what he meant so she did it, but I don't think Dan had any idea...lol.
I consider myself lucky. I know when we have our own land, he will end up with one of his own and he has admitted as much. For now, I am happy that I have the yard and he has the garage and we help each other and willingly get involved whenever the other needs it.
Grinchmass
Well-Known Member
Irony of replying to this thread, just had a conversation with OH, he wants to learn to ride start helping... Although I know him better than he knows himself, he would be very much a fair weather rider.
Carlosmum
Well-Known Member
Mine is not horsey ( he's a farmer) so he's ok with the muck, long hours etc and well trained enough to bring the boys in & feed when I'm at work, but he doesn't normally come to competitions with me. Usually it's a Sunday morning & he is at the local Church playing the Organ and conducting the choir.
Mince Pie
Well-Known Member
You rang?
Mine really doesn't get it and I think he resents the amount of money I spend on mine, especially as I've now moved him onto part livery. Luckily we don't live together so it's not a huge issue at the moment!
ETA: GG that made me cry!
My little welsh pony used to do that, made all the more special as she was completely feral when I got her
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_GG_
Well-Known Member
You rang?
Mine really doesn't get it and I think he resents the amount of money I spend on mine, especially as I've now moved him onto part livery. Luckily we don't live together so it's not a huge issue at the moment!
ETA: GG that made me cry!
I get a lump in my throat when I see it too. Fly could be a real scary diva when I got her. Actually, that is a lie. When I first took her on, she was fine, but then, she was a little underweight and had done nothing for a year. Fast forward 6 weeks and a fitter Fly, feelimg much better in herself and a monster was born. I swear she tried to kill me a few times, but this was her after a year and four months.
She's a very special girl, but then, I've had Molly since Feb and she does it now too. Fly does it when putting her bridle on or if I scratch a certain place on her neck or use the body brush on her shoulder. Molly does it at the most inconvenient times. Like when you just picked up a poo and have a heavy shavings fork in your hand, or I've just picked out her feet and got fresh poo all over my hands as she did one and stood in it just before picking out that next foot! She's super special, lol.
Thank you...I love that clip xx
smellsofhorse
Well-Known Member
My other half isnt horsey,
But he is very accepting/tolerant.
He doesnt moan, looks after our daughter and always ask how the mule is!
I know im lucky.
But he is very accepting/tolerant.
He doesnt moan, looks after our daughter and always ask how the mule is!
I know im lucky.
Spring Feather
Well-Known Member
I would hope my husband gets it lol! as the horses are our livelihood He's actually okay with some of the horses here and will handle the Quarter Horses no problem, he'll even ride out with me on some of the AQHAs a handful of times a year. He doesn't really like handling the TBs or the big WBs though and doesn't have much to do with the foals and youngsters. That's okay as I don't really want non-confident people around my youngsters or my broodmares. He is however fantastic at setting up CCTV and doing all the computer work. He also does the accounts for our farm so is more than happy to have the horses around He is great with working on the machinery and he's in his element making hay for months on end. He has a love of cars, always has had, so he can tinker about with his vehicles for hours quite contentedly. It works for us as I'm an independent person and I can pootle around for hours doing my horse things.
He's actually okay with some of the horses here and will handle the Quarter Horses no problem, he'll even ride out with me on some of the AQHAs a handful of times a year. He doesn't really like handling the TBs or the big WBs though and doesn't have much to do with the foals and youngsters. That's okay as I don't really want non-confident people around my youngsters or my broodmares. He is however fantastic at setting up CCTV and doing all the computer work. He also does the accounts for our farm so is more than happy to have the horses around He is great with working on the machinery and he's in his element making hay for months on end. He has a love of cars, always has had, so he can tinker about with his vehicles for hours quite contentedly. It works for us as I'm an independent person and I can pootle around for hours doing my horse things.
jeeve
Well-Known Member
NO it's a good part of the reason for our divorce.
But he would struggle with any activity that is so time consuming and expensive.
He has subsidised a fair bit of the cost over the last 20 years, think tack, vet bills, horses, float, tow vehicle, property etc but he resents every cent.
So he is cutting me loose.
But he would struggle with any activity that is so time consuming and expensive.
He has subsidised a fair bit of the cost over the last 20 years, think tack, vet bills, horses, float, tow vehicle, property etc but he resents every cent.
So he is cutting me loose.
NativePonyLover
Well-Known Member
Not horsey, no. He's not actually 'animal'-y at all. He's never had so much at at pet & is vary wary of anything from a cat or dog to horse's! The concept that an animal is 'part of the family' is mind boggling to him
Having said that, he does take an interest - he'll ask after my boy and will ask 'What time do you need to do Pete' if we're making plans. He's also been to watch Hickstead with me & popped down to the stables twice in the ten months we've been together - both times, we're coming home from somewhere else, though admittedly! The first time he didn't get out of the car, the second time he was much better and gave him a groom. Couldn't convince him to give him a polo though - 'look at the size of his teeth!'
He's into cars and thankfully has a stupidly expensive sports car & is a season ticket holder to his football team, so is used to expensive hobbies.
I don't care that he isn't horsey and I expect he'll never be any practical help, but he takes an interest because it's important to me. In the same way, I recently went to the Festival of Speed & have watched a football game with - it holds no interest to me, but I'll take an interest because it matters to him.
Having said that, he does take an interest - he'll ask after my boy and will ask 'What time do you need to do Pete' if we're making plans. He's also been to watch Hickstead with me & popped down to the stables twice in the ten months we've been together - both times, we're coming home from somewhere else, though admittedly! The first time he didn't get out of the car, the second time he was much better and gave him a groom. Couldn't convince him to give him a polo though - 'look at the size of his teeth!'
He's into cars and thankfully has a stupidly expensive sports car & is a season ticket holder to his football team, so is used to expensive hobbies.
I don't care that he isn't horsey and I expect he'll never be any practical help, but he takes an interest because it's important to me. In the same way, I recently went to the Festival of Speed & have watched a football game with - it holds no interest to me, but I'll take an interest because it matters to him.
cheeryplatypus
Well-Known Member
Yes, especially now we have them at home. He hacks out on nice days, is able to load, unload, tack up etc. He also does all our driving to shows as I can't tow yet. The only trouble is that he is very competitive and now I get a row if I don't have them going well! He will tell me to shorten my reins or push on. The annoying thing is that he is usually right. I wish he would start competing so he can see how hard it is, he would probably beat me though!
JoannaC
Well-Known Member
My OH didn't come up the yard for the first 18 months we were together but now he can muck out do the feeds and is learning to ride. I love that he enjoys it and totally gets how therapeutic being around horses is. He is very calm and quiet so the horses like him. I did say to him if my mare didn't like him he'd have to go ha ha
BayLady
Well-Known Member
My OH wasn't horsey when I met him, and I didn't have a hores then either. I started sharing a horse a few years after we met, before that was just having lessons, and then got my own a year after we got married. For the first couple of months he came with me every day, morning and evening as I wasn't able to drive the car as we couldn't afford to put me on the insurance. Once I was on the insurance he still came with me every morning as we went on the way to work, and when I moved to a more expensive yard and had to turn out other people's horses in order to be able to afford the extra expense, he got up at 5.30am with me and helped!
He learnt to ride and shared a gelding at my yard for a while, had to stop as the horse was retired due to an injury. He tried a couple of others after that but didn't click with them and now he doesn't ride anymore. I don't think he misses it really. He comes to the yard sometimes and is fully trained in horse care so has taken over care when I've been away for work, etc.
When I had to pts my mare a few weeks ago he was in bits. He came to be with me at the end and has been a rock throughout. He picked up the pieces and has taken me to look at potential new horses as I'm not doing so well without the routine of having one that needs me, and is basically just amazing.
He learnt to ride and shared a gelding at my yard for a while, had to stop as the horse was retired due to an injury. He tried a couple of others after that but didn't click with them and now he doesn't ride anymore. I don't think he misses it really. He comes to the yard sometimes and is fully trained in horse care so has taken over care when I've been away for work, etc.
When I had to pts my mare a few weeks ago he was in bits. He came to be with me at the end and has been a rock throughout. He picked up the pieces and has taken me to look at potential new horses as I'm not doing so well without the routine of having one that needs me, and is basically just amazing.
*sprinkles*
Well-Known Member
My OH is not horsey at all but he's coming round! He's been fantastic as I've been unable to drive recently so he has been driving me to the yard around five times a week (they're on full livery so need to be there daily) and doing bits and bobs while I get the riding done. He's taken more of an interest recently and has learned a lot, including being much more confident handling my two even though they can both be complete monkeys! I can see why some husbands would be disinterested and not understand as it does become an obsession so I'm just so grateful to my hubby that he's taking the time to try and learn and appreciate why I love it like I do.
Millie-Rose
Well-Known Member
I'm very lucky with mine he was not horsey at all when we met but took an interest very quickly. He is a farmer so we have them at home and he will muck out bring in etc when I am at work and at Christmas or if we are going out we will do them together. He learnt to ride but probably only rides a couple of times a year is a natural at it though and came third at his first attempt at show jumping last month (probably only jumped about 4 times ever!). He takes me to shows and is my super groom eventing. I unload horse and check over when we arrive then go off and walk courses and pay start fee and come back to a tacked up and studded horse all ready for the dressage. He is very supportive of my eventing although the downside is that he is very competitive and would like to see us do better never tells me this but I know and puts a bit of pressure on. He completely gets that they are part of the family, we don't have children and our animals are our family.The only time in 10 years together I have seen him cry is when our old mare was very ill a couple of years ago and it looked like we would loose her she pulled through but is now 24 and I know that when the time comes he will be as devastated as me. I am a very lucky girl.
My ex didn't get it at all and would constantly moan when I got out of bed on a Sunday morning to go to the horses he was very jealous of them and couldn't understand why I wouldn't leave them for a year to travel the world. The longest I have ever been away from them is two weeks and that was too long. This is why he is my ex
My ex didn't get it at all and would constantly moan when I got out of bed on a Sunday morning to go to the horses he was very jealous of them and couldn't understand why I wouldn't leave them for a year to travel the world. The longest I have ever been away from them is two weeks and that was too long. This is why he is my ex
cob&onion
Well-Known Member
Nope he doesnt get it atall.
We had a massive barney over the horses the other night as i planned to go riding (evening as it was hot) and he went mad because he had to make tea/sort the kids/baby out..............i was in the whole day, just popped up at 8am for the water run yet i was accused of caring for the horses more than the family. They always get brought up in arguments. He hates the time i spend there. I spend no longer than 3 hours per day. Its either before he starts work at 9 and i leave at 7am and back before he leaves or i go at 6pm and am back later on. He also moans when they need their feet doing or when i buy them carrots and oil from the supermarket.
So no he totally doesn't get it! he says am unsociable. he hates this forum too.
Am desperately trying to get my 8 and 9 yr old (boy and girl) riding but sadly they don't have the passion for them like i do.
He knows i will never sell them though.
On the other hand though They are on the land he inherited from his grandad and he has put in a new fence for me and buying me a field shelter this autumn and somewhere to store hay. He chain harrows and rolls the field every year, He has also cut and baled hay from the field a few years back and keeps suggesting we make our own..................
He fed and watered them almost every day last winter when i was heavily pregnant and he does hay and water when i go away anywhere.
I can't figure it out..................
We had a massive barney over the horses the other night as i planned to go riding (evening as it was hot) and he went mad because he had to make tea/sort the kids/baby out..............i was in the whole day, just popped up at 8am for the water run yet i was accused of caring for the horses more than the family. They always get brought up in arguments. He hates the time i spend there. I spend no longer than 3 hours per day. Its either before he starts work at 9 and i leave at 7am and back before he leaves or i go at 6pm and am back later on. He also moans when they need their feet doing or when i buy them carrots and oil from the supermarket.
So no he totally doesn't get it! he says am unsociable. he hates this forum too.
Am desperately trying to get my 8 and 9 yr old (boy and girl) riding but sadly they don't have the passion for them like i do.
He knows i will never sell them though.
On the other hand though They are on the land he inherited from his grandad and he has put in a new fence for me and buying me a field shelter this autumn and somewhere to store hay. He chain harrows and rolls the field every year, He has also cut and baled hay from the field a few years back and keeps suggesting we make our own..................
He fed and watered them almost every day last winter when i was heavily pregnant and he does hay and water when i go away anywhere.
I can't figure it out..................
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windand rain
Well-Known Member
My OH is wonderful with the animals like quite a few he doesnt really like them because they are dirty and hairy but we have been married 37 years today and he has supported them and me for a very long time. He was made redundant in January and has been desperate to find another job so we dont have to part with a pony He loves them clean and polished to take into the in hand ring beyond that he helps poo pick and does the maintenance around the yard Doesnt really handle the ponies much though. He also cooked cleaned and raised our kids while I worked and cared for the ponies I always come home to a cooked meal if I have a busy day. House is clean and tidy and when the kids were babies he would clean, change and feed them. Mind you at that time I worked much longer hours than he did and had 7 ponies
Sukistokes2
Well-Known Member
He does golf, I do horses.......perfect!!!!
ChestnutTinker
Well-Known Member
My boyfriend is lovely in the sense he is petrified of horses but has promised me to try and get into horses and learn about them - he says that if I ever get one, he wants to help me with it and hopefully get into riding!! Good start
LaurenDobson
Well-Known Member
My OH is a farmer, therefore refers to horses as grass wasters! Although he doesn't particularly like them he does put up with it and does ask how we've got on if we go competing and in the bad weather he gives me a lift to the yard if needed. I do like the fact though that my horse is my escape and my time as when he is busy I don't want to be just sat at home waiting for him! He has his hobbies and I have mine, it works great.
Archangel
Well-Known Member
He didn't at first, even though he had his own horse, as both my main horses were old when we first got together and he couldn't quite understand why the whole world appeared to revolve around them. He set off long reining the 32 year old with a slightly bored look on his face. A few minutes later he handed the reins back to me as he was too much for him!
PaddyMonty
Well-Known Member
We met through horses (23 years ago) so yes she does get it.
For 22 of the 23 years together the horses have been our lives (apart from work). A year ago I gave up horses and started sailing with my son. Two things became apparent when this happened...
1) How much time horses take up. people at the sailing club are amazed at the amount of hours I can spend there without the OH complaining.
2) How little time we spend together now that I dont do horses. I do still go to the yard twice a week to teach our daughter and do the welshies itches.
I can see how if the partner hasn't got a time consuming (and expensive) hobby and isn't interested in the horses that it could become a problem.
For 22 of the 23 years together the horses have been our lives (apart from work). A year ago I gave up horses and started sailing with my son. Two things became apparent when this happened...
1) How much time horses take up. people at the sailing club are amazed at the amount of hours I can spend there without the OH complaining.
2) How little time we spend together now that I dont do horses. I do still go to the yard twice a week to teach our daughter and do the welshies itches.
I can see how if the partner hasn't got a time consuming (and expensive) hobby and isn't interested in the horses that it could become a problem.
MerrySherryRider
Well-Known Member
My OH rode before I met him, so he's great with the horses. We do them together when he's at home and it works really well as it means when I have to go away, the horses are looked after by him.
Previous partners weren't horsey when I met them but got involved when we were together and now still have their own horses.
Previous partners weren't horsey when I met them but got involved when we were together and now still have their own horses.
chaps89
Well-Known Member
Out of interest Paddy Monty - what made you give horses up? (If that's not too personal to ask - was it just wanting to do the sailing with your son or anything else?)
OH gets it to a certain extent, when we first got together he worked more normal hours & I worked 2 miles down the road from him so it wasn't uncommon for him to pick me up after work, we'd go & see the horse then go out. He got quite involved, I could trust him to bring the horse in for me, he could change rugs, wasn't a fan of picking feet out but could & tried grooming (you brush in the direction of the grain of the wood was his comparison to guitar cleaning!) & he once even had a sit on the old boy.
His hours then got a lot more unsociable & I moved to a job closer to where I lived (about 20 odd miles away from him) so he barely comes to the yard anymore. If I can persuade him to come down he normally just hangs back & doesn't get involved & where he used to come & poo pick with me, he now would prefer to sit in the car) Because he doesn't come up anymore the horse doesn't really respond to him anymore so he doesn't like doing anything hands on either & doesn't like that the horse is grumpy with him. It's a fair observation but not one I can really do anything about.
He says he lets a lot of things slide because I've had the horse for so long & he was there first but if/when new horse arrives he's said a few things that make me wonder if it'll cause a rift. Only one way to find out I think. It's more the time issue & the fact I have a bed-time of 10pm (normally) where he is a shift worker so often doesn't sleep till 3am, he doesn't see my sleep pattern as more normal but who's to comment & can't get his head around the commitment of twice daily visits 365 days a year. Cost he doesn't mind as it's my money. He also has expensive hobbies (guitars & cars) & I don't dictate anything with that, I've tried to get involved but I'm not really allowed because apparently I stress him out more as I might clean the car wrong, men are funny creatures!
OH gets it to a certain extent, when we first got together he worked more normal hours & I worked 2 miles down the road from him so it wasn't uncommon for him to pick me up after work, we'd go & see the horse then go out. He got quite involved, I could trust him to bring the horse in for me, he could change rugs, wasn't a fan of picking feet out but could & tried grooming (you brush in the direction of the grain of the wood was his comparison to guitar cleaning!) & he once even had a sit on the old boy.
His hours then got a lot more unsociable & I moved to a job closer to where I lived (about 20 odd miles away from him) so he barely comes to the yard anymore. If I can persuade him to come down he normally just hangs back & doesn't get involved & where he used to come & poo pick with me, he now would prefer to sit in the car) Because he doesn't come up anymore the horse doesn't really respond to him anymore so he doesn't like doing anything hands on either & doesn't like that the horse is grumpy with him. It's a fair observation but not one I can really do anything about.
He says he lets a lot of things slide because I've had the horse for so long & he was there first but if/when new horse arrives he's said a few things that make me wonder if it'll cause a rift. Only one way to find out I think. It's more the time issue & the fact I have a bed-time of 10pm (normally) where he is a shift worker so often doesn't sleep till 3am, he doesn't see my sleep pattern as more normal but who's to comment & can't get his head around the commitment of twice daily visits 365 days a year. Cost he doesn't mind as it's my money. He also has expensive hobbies (guitars & cars) & I don't dictate anything with that, I've tried to get involved but I'm not really allowed because apparently I stress him out more as I might clean the car wrong, men are funny creatures!
MagicMelon
Well-Known Member
He sounds pretty mean from the sounds of it?!
PaddyMonty
Well-Known Member
Mainly having to deal with owners. My job doesn't really allow me to keep my own horse due to the non 9 to 5 nature of it often with overnight trips at very short notice so for tha last 12 years I had been riding for owners.
Horses were never a problem, just the humans.
Couple of examples.....
1) Owner has 2 horses, one of which is way too much for her but she liked to play the 'owner' at events. I worked, schooled, trained and competed this horse exclusively for 12 months. very much my horse of a lifetime.
She had enetered her other horse in a hunter trial but 3 weeks prior decided she didn't fancy it and asked if I would compete it that day. AS the horse wasn't (imho) fet enough to do the job I agreed on the condition that she worked the horse properly for the 3 weeks leading up to the comp. Two days before the comp she asked me if we were still OK to go. When she admitted she had only worked the horse once in the 3 weeks I said no. Never got to see the horses again let alone ride them. She sold the horse I was competing to a dealer and wouldn't tell me who to prevent me from buying it.
2) Started working with a 4yo for a lady who had bought it without sufficient experience to deal with it. She had 3 other horses. All 3 of us got on well and I started competing horse. Owner loved coming to watch and all was rosy until the husband decided he wasn't going to pay for a horse his wife wasn't riding (horses kept at their home). Horse was way too much for wife so he was sold.
and so it went on.
Problem I have is that I tend to bond with the horses I compete and having zero say in their future or control over what happened to them just got to me in the end.
I have just started riding again (for 2 owners) but on a very different basis. Once a week only and I refuse to compete under any circumstances.
ETA - Not all the owners were the same. Juno's owner was brilliant but juno was hugely disruptive to the yard. Would rear being taken to, from field etc and a complete stress head but never a problem with me.
When something had to be done with her the owner offered to give her to me and pay her livery (diy) for the rest of her life (she bred her). Problem was my job just wouldn't allow me to comit to being at the yard to turn out/fetch in and deal with her every day at a set time and I wasn't prepared to risk wife or daughter doing it so other arrangement were made. Still keep in touch with her owner and visit from time to time to see how her other horses (and son of juno) are getting on.
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