Does your oh get it
- Thread starter atlantis
- Start date
TrasaM
Well-Known Member
PaddyMonty.. What a mean human! I can see how you'd come to your decision.
Atlantis. My OH is very supportive and recognises that horses are key to my happiness. However the deal is that if/when I get a horse he gets a black lab. Wouldn't be top of my doggy wish list but fair enough bargain.
Atlantis. My OH is very supportive and recognises that horses are key to my happiness. However the deal is that if/when I get a horse he gets a black lab. Wouldn't be top of my doggy wish list but fair enough bargain.
chaps89
Well-Known Member
PM - totally see why you reached that decision also. Has happened to me (on a lesser scale, I am nowhere near the level of rider you are) & is far from pleasant, luckily it hasn't happened as frequently as it did for you & so I don't blame you for wanting to leave the horse world behind (even if you have been tempted back!) Hopefully this time round it works out well for you.
Jenni_
Well-Known Member
Early doors with the potential new OH but lets just say he has 2 World Champion Equestriennes in his immeadiate family so has been brought up with horses, knows his way well around them, and enjoys driving the lorries/trailers and the more technical side of them (packing /cleaning lorry, getting ready, looking at courses). He LOVES making hay and pottering about the farm. I think he potentially could be a keeper.
Ex OH hated them and was severely allergic. Couldn't even bring himself to wish me luck on competition days or ask how I'd done!
Ex OH hated them and was severely allergic. Couldn't even bring himself to wish me luck on competition days or ask how I'd done!
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Victoria25
Well-Known Member
Well Im currently single and had my fair share of horsey OH's ...
My (soon to be ex) husband loved them at first ... then resented the time I spent with them (bearing in mind one of them was pregnant and was on box rest due to a leg injury during winter) ... he then decided to buy me a trailer and then complained at how many shows I went to (four max??) and sulked all day .. needless to say we're divorcing (not for that reason of course) ...
Most ex's have loved my horses though - nobody has ever paid for any of them so none of their business really and if they hated them that much, they know where the door is
My (soon to be ex) husband loved them at first ... then resented the time I spent with them (bearing in mind one of them was pregnant and was on box rest due to a leg injury during winter) ... he then decided to buy me a trailer and then complained at how many shows I went to (four max??) and sulked all day .. needless to say we're divorcing (not for that reason of course) ...
Most ex's have loved my horses though - nobody has ever paid for any of them so none of their business really and if they hated them that much, they know where the door is
atlantis
Well-Known Member
TrasaM we already have a black lab lol!!!
muddypony
Well-Known Member
no. at first he would nod and say "yes dear" in all the right places but he gradually got less and less supportive when he realised i was serious about wanting to become a groom. during a recent argument he implied that i should opt for a more boring job because other more wealthy people will be way better than me already so i'll never have a chance at getting jobs and winning competitions. he understood why i like it, but didn't understand why i'd want to do it for a living. so 2 days after this argument he decided to kick me when i'm down and split up with me because he couldn't be with someone he can't support. i spose i could thank him for sparing me the trouble..
noblesteed
Well-Known Member
Not really, he has surfing and I have the horse.
I had a loan horse when I met him and he loved her, he learned to ride and used to hack her out regularly. I bought my current horse for us both to ride but he's never clicked with him, maybe a gelding thing? So now he moans a lot and has to subsidise horse's upkeep since we had a baby and I went part-time, but he gets to go surfing whenever he likes. When I was ill after my son's very traumatic birth my husband really encouraged me to get out riding again as he knew it would sort my head out. So he does understand really, he just pretends he doesn't!
I had a loan horse when I met him and he loved her, he learned to ride and used to hack her out regularly. I bought my current horse for us both to ride but he's never clicked with him, maybe a gelding thing? So now he moans a lot and has to subsidise horse's upkeep since we had a baby and I went part-time, but he gets to go surfing whenever he likes. When I was ill after my son's very traumatic birth my husband really encouraged me to get out riding again as he knew it would sort my head out. So he does understand really, he just pretends he doesn't!
muddypony
Well-Known Member
he also didn't have any horse sense, despite having ridden for several years when he was younger. "don't run around the horses" or if he came on a hack with the dog "don't let the dog get too close to his legs" are apparently only effective for about 5 minutes, then he does the same thing again. just do as i say or there is going to be an accident!!!!! drove me absolutely spare.
Matt and Jack
Well-Known Member
Seriously? Your OH is an arss mate!
My partner doesn't really get it although since buying a horse that doesn't scare him or try and kick him in the head whilst trying to take his throat out (I kid you not!!) he is better about it. The strain is the amount of time I am spending down the yard and if you are not 'orsey then you cant understand it. He thinks I should go down, muck out, haynet, water, ride, feed and come home ...I try to explain its not just abut the 'doing' its about spending time with them, chatting to horsey friends etc
We have a busy social life and now everything revolves around the horse, I can see the frustration but I personally make it work. Having a sharer really brought him on board and Tuesday nights are date night where I actually cook or we go out and do 'normal' things. I guess gradually I will work towards two nights a week maybe or a week night and weekend day?
Its workable but for me its bloody hard work keeping the house in order, full time work, the horse hobby, socializing AND being the partner
Surely you mean abnormal, horses are the most normal thing you can get
mandwhy
Well-Known Member
Mine had never been near a horse and is now very good around them, he poo picks and sorts out water etc and can do headcollars and rugs on the tiny pony at least! He is able to sort them out when I'm away (they live out so quite easy) and would be happy for me to have as many horses as I want, money permitting, and I'm sure he will have a go at riding one day (we have ridden camels but not horses?!)
kellybee
Well-Known Member
Mine had never met a horse before he met me but I've caught him having quiet conversations with them on many occasions. He'll walk the shetland down to the local show with me, then spends the day with my brother while sis in law and I do gymkhana with the children, and thus everyone is happy. He's bonded with our new pony really well - anyone would think they're best mates although he does say pony looks like a goat (he's cremello) and shetland is "the donkey" whilst my STB, "big man", is the best thing since sliced bread and he's the one BF likes best. He's interested in what I feed them and why, the needs of a lammy pony, the technical side of tack etc but that's his limit. The way he sees it is he has his motorbike and I have horses so he doesn't complain. If this means he "gets it", then yes. And he does ask to ride the STB occasionally even if he does think he's John Wayne.
benson21
Well-Known Member
I am one of the lucky ones!! We had benson on loan to both of us, we both rode him, and supported each other in competitions. I did the dressage and xc, OH did the show jumping. Now we have donovan PH does the in hand showing, I do the driving, OH goes to the yard before work to turn out and somethimes muck out and then I go after work to bring in etc etc, so its 50-50.
chestnut cob
Well-Known Member
Nope, my BF doesn't get it at all. He's been to the yard a few times. Helped me move from old yard to current on (including mucking out the deep litter bed that had been down for 6 months!!) and comes up occasionally. I've qualified for MIDARC Summer Champs (DR) and he wants to come and watch me compete there, but says he is too scared to watch me do SJ or XC in case he "puts me off and I fall off and get injured". He has a polite interest in it, always asks about the horse, how was my ride, how did I get on in my comp. He'll listen while I'm either raving about how amazing my horse is or complaining that he's a little sod and I'm going to sell him. But he doesn't "get it".
Personally I don't think it's a shame at all. I wouldn't expect him to. He's a proper townie and it's not something he's ever been involved in. He thinks it's great that I do it and enjoys hearing about it. However, he has his hobbies and I have mine. We also do things together (walking, play squash, both love days out at castles/ stately homes etc) and have our separate hobbies. I have my horses, running and practice yoga; he is quite a big gamer, plays cards and is really into the gym. I don't expect him to get into the horses and he doesn't expect me to watch him play cards. It's great as it means we always have plenty of stuff to tell each other!
Personally I don't think it's a shame at all. I wouldn't expect him to. He's a proper townie and it's not something he's ever been involved in. He thinks it's great that I do it and enjoys hearing about it. However, he has his hobbies and I have mine. We also do things together (walking, play squash, both love days out at castles/ stately homes etc) and have our separate hobbies. I have my horses, running and practice yoga; he is quite a big gamer, plays cards and is really into the gym. I don't expect him to get into the horses and he doesn't expect me to watch him play cards. It's great as it means we always have plenty of stuff to tell each other!
Fransurrey
Well-Known Member
My OH doesn't get why anybody would want to ride something without brakes or a steering wheel, but he does love the ponies. Often wants to take them for walks and enjoys coming to the yard and generally hanging around with 'the field vermin'. Poor bloke had never had cats, either, but he loves them, too. We've been together for 8 and a half years, living together for 2. He's just about stopped mentioning cat hair on the pillow. He's never mentioned horsehair on his underwear. Maybe he daren't, as being a mechanic he's a dirty oik.
He's also a good horse-sitter and quite happily feeds them if I'm away or working late. It's a good trade, as I help him get lorries to shows and move vehicles around for clients. Still want to get him on board, though, as I think he'll change his mind about riding if he actually does it.
He's also a good horse-sitter and quite happily feeds them if I'm away or working late. It's a good trade, as I help him get lorries to shows and move vehicles around for clients. Still want to get him on board, though, as I think he'll change his mind about riding if he actually does it.
Honey08
Waffled a lot!
Tried to do multi quotes, but it didn't work!
Windland Rain Congratulations on 37 years of marriage, thats impressive!
Jenni - new potential OH sounds like he could be a keeper to me too, keep hold!!
I'm lucky, Oh had ridden years before we met (as a plan to meet girls he and his best mate had lessons, then he met his first, horse-hating wife). It was a major point on my wishlist for a longterm OH. He came and had a ride on my horse, who hated him and ran off, so he had a couple of lessons to get going again, then started riding mine again. When we got engaged (at Burghley!) I bought him a lovely gelding. We had a low key wedding and built our own yard instead of spending it on a one day wedding. By that point we had two ponies for his son as well. Nowadays we have the two big horses, he and my stepson share the big horse. He has always been a superstar, always driving us to events (he won't compete) and is the best groom ever - he can put studs in like someone at a grand prix (he is a mechanic..). I am away at least ten days a month, and he looks after the horses and other animals, even to my fussy standards. We often go camping to the major horsey events for holidays.
I don't know how people cope with someone non-horsey. I love that we share the biggest love of my life.
Windland Rain Congratulations on 37 years of marriage, thats impressive!
Jenni - new potential OH sounds like he could be a keeper to me too, keep hold!!
I'm lucky, Oh had ridden years before we met (as a plan to meet girls he and his best mate had lessons, then he met his first, horse-hating wife). It was a major point on my wishlist for a longterm OH. He came and had a ride on my horse, who hated him and ran off, so he had a couple of lessons to get going again, then started riding mine again. When we got engaged (at Burghley!) I bought him a lovely gelding. We had a low key wedding and built our own yard instead of spending it on a one day wedding. By that point we had two ponies for his son as well. Nowadays we have the two big horses, he and my stepson share the big horse. He has always been a superstar, always driving us to events (he won't compete) and is the best groom ever - he can put studs in like someone at a grand prix (he is a mechanic..). I am away at least ten days a month, and he looks after the horses and other animals, even to my fussy standards. We often go camping to the major horsey events for holidays.
I don't know how people cope with someone non-horsey. I love that we share the biggest love of my life.
Crosshill Pacers
Well-Known Member
Short answer - yes.
My OH is in fact worse than me, only last night he text me and said 'I've been offered a mare, she's for sale and I've got first refusal', this was followed by him telling me how brilliant a racehorse she was and to watch videos of her racing on the internet. He does this every time, he tries to convince me that this one is the best thing since...well, the last one he bought. My standard reply to these texts is 'if you want it, go for it'.
He currently has four of his own, as well as 9 that are in joint ownership with his father. They've got enough land for more, and muggins here is moving up there next year to inevitably end up looking after them!
I on the other hand just have the one, and she is all the horse I'm ever going to need seeing as I have all OH's to take on as well! OH is more obsessed with horses and horse racing than I am, but it's rubbing off on me slowly. It's nice to have someone who likes being around them, knows how to handle them, and understands what it is about them that gets inside your head and helps you when you're feeling down.
I feel like I'm gloating, but the shared interest is what brought us together in the first place, and probably has kept us together for nearly 3 years of living 300 miles apart!
My OH is in fact worse than me, only last night he text me and said 'I've been offered a mare, she's for sale and I've got first refusal', this was followed by him telling me how brilliant a racehorse she was and to watch videos of her racing on the internet. He does this every time, he tries to convince me that this one is the best thing since...well, the last one he bought. My standard reply to these texts is 'if you want it, go for it'.
He currently has four of his own, as well as 9 that are in joint ownership with his father. They've got enough land for more, and muggins here is moving up there next year to inevitably end up looking after them!
I on the other hand just have the one, and she is all the horse I'm ever going to need seeing as I have all OH's to take on as well! OH is more obsessed with horses and horse racing than I am, but it's rubbing off on me slowly. It's nice to have someone who likes being around them, knows how to handle them, and understands what it is about them that gets inside your head and helps you when you're feeling down.
I feel like I'm gloating, but the shared interest is what brought us together in the first place, and probably has kept us together for nearly 3 years of living 300 miles apart!
Jenni_
Well-Known Member
I'm blimmin well hoping so. The fact he can tie a haynet properly was the deal breaker... and that he's happy being in charge of lorry driving