Doing it alone

S

SWE

Well-Known Member
Joined
14 August 2017
Messages
295
Visit site
I think I need some pointers as I am really struggling 'doing it alone' at the moment and I am really missing someone to share my horsey journey with.

I've got a 5yo who I managed to back last year with the occasional help from old yard owner. She is pretty challenging but uber talented and I am really excited about her. BUT...

I am really struggling to improve and stay motivated without having that extra pair of hands/eyes on the ground.

I have worked with horses previously and used to ride/compete for a breeder so always had someone on the ground, and previous to that my mum was always pretty involved. Now I have a normal job and just the 2 horses (other just a field ornament), a non horsey BF who I might be able to get to do jumps for me every 8 weeks or so, and that is it. I don't have a tonne of money so can't afford to go for lessons week in week out, and am just missing that person who takes an interest and is happy to help me every so often 😢

Does anyone have any advice?
 
I’m also a lone rider! I can’t afford lessons and I’m the only one at the yard who really rides or spends time there (very small yard) so I’m always on my own.

To be honest, I love it. I’m very focused and know what I want out of each session, although I occasionally wish there was someone where to film my progress. It is a pain when it comes to poles and things but I can pop on and off as required.
 
Do you have transport, could you join a riding club? I prefer being on the yard on my own and try to go at quiet times and often go off competing on my own but there are definitely times when it would be nice to have someone on the ground tell you how something looks or along those lines. I can remember needing something videoed last year and getting quite depressed not to have a friend who I felt I could ask to do it for me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SWE
You need to learn to embrace it! Look at some of the stories on here about nosey liveries sticking their beaks in where not wanted, feed getting stolen, equipment getting used without permission, crazy yard owners, nuts rules, horses getting left in or out without company, general yard bitchiness... you can do without all that surely.

Train the boyfriend better, ask him if he's free to help you once every couple of weeks. When I'm doing polework or jumping I set up a few different exercises so I can have different heights, different distances or whatever and I hop off if I want to change something and then back on, usually only have to do that a few times in any one session.

You can video your sessions if you want to look back at anything, I just set up a tripod and cheap camera in the corner of the arena if theres something I want to check
 
Perhaps think about your long term goal/plan then break it down into months or weeks work to achieve it. That should then give you an idea of what you are aiming for each session/week and might help you?
Also 100% agree with everything wheels posted. The cheap camera on a tripod is awesome, I got a little cheapy gorilla pod that I can wrap round a fence etc...
 
  • Like
Reactions: SWE
Set up a blog, or join some horse FB groups to share your experiences through. Or even Vlog your journey, maybe load it on youtube! Set up an instagram page and try get followers!
Start reading up on how to articles online and watch videos to help you progress or think of exercises you can do by yourself, there are loads out there and you can learn so much. Particularly as there are not many people to watch you. Which sounds like bliss to me.

I have to agree with wheels, I am utterly utterly sick of livery yards and nosey liveries telling me what I should and shoudn't do with my horses. Particularly as one of them is quite hot and probably would scare the pants of most as he is a busy horse. I'm not a great rider myself, I just have come to an agreement with him! And then there are the things being stolen from me, tack, feed, my old horse being used when I come up to ride... yeah all of that!
 
Shay said:
Move to a busier livery yard?
Click to expand...

Agree with this. Have a look for a sociable yard of likeminding people. Or as also suggested a like minded riding club. Or volunteer as a helper at competitions at a local competition centre which will give you inspiration watching others, and maybe hints from judges (eg volunteer as a writer at dressage competitions) for motivation. You may make friends in all or any of these places who will happily help you at competitions or even at home just for the fun of being involved. I used to compete on my own (uninterested other half) but have twice met lovely ladies at livery yards where I was based who were delighted to come to competitions etc to help and hang out, they weren't competitive themselves (too nervous in both cases) but just enjoyed being part of it without wanting to actually compete themselves.
 
And also keep your fellow posters on here up to date with what you are doing people are always pleased to read updates - a virtual family. If you read some of bunnydogs previous posts you will see one of her reasons for posting is because she is 'going it alone'
 
SallyBatty said:
Can you afford to get a trainer to come to you? Even once a month would be helpful and they could give you things to work on in between each lesson.
Click to expand...
this is a good one to explore. I think there is nothing quite like having someone really experienced and inspirational to help you, even if it's monthly or every other month.
I was doing it by myself for several years, I did all the videoing and watching other people's lessons etc but nothing stops it from being an uphill struggle, those are just ways to mitigate it! Getting regular (even if infrequent) help is really useful not just in the moment you're being taught, but also if you get homework and then you also have a future date to work towards if you start to lose focus.

I also am pleased to have my ridden horses on a yard at the moment rather than being on my own. not all yards are full of opinionated cows, mine is very civilised but it's nice to just chew things over with people, celebrate and commiserate.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SWE
Join a riding club? Find one that has regular instruction and likes entering competitions. If you actually need someone to go to a competition with you maybe there would be a member who is interested but no longer competes at the same level who might like a day out.
 
Thanks all for the responses!

Getting a new boyfriend is probably a very unrealistic change and he has his own hobbies (which is why I think we work so well together) so hasn't got the time to be coming to do poles after work all the time etc! He's also not in the slightest bit horsey!

Moving yards isn't an option either.

I do like some of the ideas about regular filming/mirrors etc and agree I need to have more of a plan for sessions. Does anyone know of anything on the market that helps film as you ride so you don't just have to have a view from the corner of the school??

Riding club is a good shout too - I Was debating joining BS and BD too, but has anyone found that the social aspect of it is as good as your RC??

Thanks for the suggestions about lessons, I am having lessons as and when, at least monthly, it's just the bits in between I loose a bit of focus!
 
marmalade88 said:
Mirrors might help? Even one to start with...cheaper in the long run than lessons...
Click to expand...
For mirrors you might be able to get some second hand, or in the free section of your local paper, deffo don't spend too much on them.

For my busy horse and to keep him happy in the box when travelling on his own I got a cheap mirrored sticky paper thing on ebay and stuck it in the box. Maybe something like that on a bit of plywood would work too and wouldn't break easily.
 
if you are handy, or know someone who is, big sliding mirror wardrobe doors are often free/cheap on FB. You would need to consider how to mount them safely though as proper arena mirrors won't deposit glass in the surface if cracked. Sometimes you see gyms getting rid of mirrors from dance studios etc too.

I personally find BD quite sociable but that's mainly through friends made via team events or being at the same shows week in week out.

The BD training is often fairly expensive and if you have a good RC that would tend to be more affordable on a regular basis. Though I would definitely recommend looking up the BD regional stuff to see what's on offer, if you want to try out for teams then you need to have attended a number of official training sessions.
 
I totally sympathise. I keep Rose at home with a companion pony and in many ways it's the perfect set up but I do miss company. I try to arrange regular hacks with others, meeting up with them part way and I have joined my local RC. I also take Rose to other yards for training and like to hang around and watch others having lessons. I wonder if you joined your local RC, did a bit of volunteering at events, you might get to know some people who are currently not riding and who might want to give you a hand.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top