Dont want to be clingy. but........ sold him ............ and...

I would contact the groom and ask her if you are worried.

I must have missed previous threads so don't know what happened to make you have to part with the horse. Had I seen them I would have suggested that if you can't ride, but he was your soul mate, to try to find a sharer, then you could still be involved in his day to day care. Riding is not by any means the most important part of horse ownership. It seems to me that you are regretting the sale and perhaps mourning him? Could you buy him back, find a sharer and a livery yard to keep him? If you are not prepared to do that, then you have to let him go.
 
Sorry MrsD, He isn't 'My Boy' any more, he is 'Their Boy' You sold on ownership.

I wouldn't be freaked out by being sent a card/bag of treats for a horse I knew meant a lot to someone and had to sell on, but rugs etc. is going a bit too far.

Take a step back, He has a good home, you know he is being cared for, you will scare the new owner off if you carry on, and you will never get any update,

I've bought 3 horses and not contacted or had contact from owners once, and one was an old boys best friend, but he lost his sight and couldn't carry on, I know it hurt him, he didn't let on, but that horse had so much respect for his owner and would follow him round like a puppy, but he knows he is cared for, and knows he no longer has a say (unless welfare is an issue)

I for one am concerned by how you are speaking, maybe it is worth having a bit of counselling or speaking to someone close to you, you must be holding a lot in.
 
I am not thinking of buying stuff for him, it is sitting here and will otherwise go to charity along with saddle and all sorts.
The new people agreed to pay the groom, but have not confirmed it, and they were supposed to go and pick up the feed and stuff, but have not confirmed it.

I have not done anything weird, just asked folks on here how they think I might proceed.
I think it is odd that the new owner has not given me an update on his progress. In his position, I would have done [but then maybe I AM weird]
 
MrsD123 said:
Maybe I should mention his sale price was not related to his value.
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I fail to see how this is relevant? Many horses are being sold for prices much lower than their actual value.

I understand that this must be really hard for you but it does sound like you need to take a step back and let them contact you, other wise you run the risk of losing contact all together.
 
I think the problem may be that you haven't really explained the situation and I certainly read it that you sold him to a private home. Have you sold him then to a professional set up?

You did also say that you were thinking of buying him a rug.

If you do have a contract that the new owner keeps you informed then yes out of courtesy it would be nice if that happened but if money has exchanged hands and he is now theirs then it's really up to them xx
 
If after a long active horsey lifestyle you can no longer ride any more then this must have been a huge decision to make. It marks the end of an era for you and unless many on here have a 60 year long horsey life behind them its very very hard to imagine what you are feeling right now

That aside you will scare them off if you arent careful. I would get in touch nearer christmas to wish them a happy one but beyond that would do no more Other than keep my ears out for news. Remember that bloke even at the best of times arent ones for keeping in touch. As a professional yard i am sure they have everything under control - a miserable horse is not a productive one after all

What he doesnt have after living there for six weeks he is unlikely to need

If your old yard is unconnected to the new one i would take a trip there to collect anything left behind, check if the groom was paid and say hi to everyone

Trying hard not to sound patronising but when you are feeling a bit brighter maybe consider offering your knowledge to the RDA or maybe as a non riding member at your local riding club - judging, logging entries etc

I wish you the very best
 
Marydoll said:
You might not think youre checking up, but your posts make you sound like you are. If it were me id feel very uncomfortable with your behaviour and would stop contact with you if it continued and once the tie is cut on these terms its unlikely you will have anything to do with him again. Step back, leave them until into the new year then if you still feel the need to follow the horse, text and ask how theyre getting on together or you might find yourself out of his life completely
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But I have not repeatedly contacted you, [the new owner], I have sent one email regarding the payment owed to the groom and asking how the horse is getting on.
I am perfectly happy that I found the best place possible, the new owner suggested he would be sending me a video, all I asked on here was............. oh forget it.............
 
I think people are being a little harsh on the OP.

OP, I can totally see that this would have been a hard sale for you, and of course you want to see how your old horse is doing. A light and breezy 'how are you getting on?' type email is fine, but I think that asking if he's paid the groom crosses the line into checking upon him, and things like this will probably make him distance himself.
In future, I'd just ask the groom :)
 
WelshD said:
If after a long active horsey lifestyle you can no longer ride any more then this must have been a huge decision to make. It marks the end of an era for you and unless many on here have a 60 year long horsey life behind them its very very hard to imagine what you are feeling right now

That aside you will scare them off if you arent careful. I would get in touch nearer christmas to wish them a happy one but beyond that would do no more Other than keep my ears out for news. Remember that bloke even at the best of times arent ones for keeping in touch. As a professional yard i am sure they have everything under control - a miserable horse is not a productive one after all

What he doesnt have after living there for six weeks he is unlikely to need

If your old yard is unconnected to the new one i would take a trip there to collect anything left behind, check if the groom was paid and say hi to everyone

Trying hard not to sound patronising but when you are feeling a bit brighter maybe consider offering your knowledge to the RDA or maybe as a non riding member at your local riding club - judging, logging entries etc

I wish you the very best
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Great post :)
 
Yes, it's nice to know how your horse is getting on (if it was a decent one - I have sold ones in the past who I really didn't want to hear any more about!), but one phone call is enough - please don't go buying things for him; there's no guarantee he will get to use them anyway. Save your pennies and try and move on.
Just to add I sold my cracking pony in 1983, and was very sorry to see her go. The girl who bought her loved, and I mean was totally besotted with her, much more than me. We exchanged Christmas cards until 2005, when the pony died of old age. That pony had a wonderful life, I was so happy for her and her owner.
 
WelshD said:
If after a long active horsey lifestyle you can no longer ride any more then this must have been a huge decision to make. It marks the end of an era for you and unless many on here have a 60 year long horsey life behind them its very very hard to imagine what you are feeling right now

That aside you will scare them off if you arent careful. I would get in touch nearer christmas to wish them a happy one but beyond that would do no more Other than keep my ears out for news. Remember that bloke even at the best of times arent ones for keeping in touch. As a professional yard i am sure they have everything under control - a miserable horse is not a productive one after all

What he doesnt have after living there for six weeks he is unlikely to need

If your old yard is unconnected to the new one i would take a trip there to collect anything left behind, check if the groom was paid and say hi to everyone

Trying hard not to sound patronising but when you are feeling a bit brighter maybe consider offering your knowledge to the RDA or maybe as a non riding member at your local riding club - judging, logging entries etc

I wish you the very best
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Thanks, yes, it is difficult to give up horse riding, when I retired from racing 2002], I tried RDA and all that stuff, but then went down the horse handling/pony route. I am not really interested in walking alongside plods. I have really only been interested in racing, in conditioning and training. Personally, I don't do "schooling" in the BHS sense, i get someone to do it for me, even if I have to pay.. and for this one I had to find a BHSII to school him.

Giving up riding was not the problem in this case, the only reason I kept on riding was that I owned a difficult horse ......... I did try to loan him, I tried to sell him, "needs experienced rider" ......"my wife is a beginner and my daughter is nervous, would he do?, "what does nappy mean? "not first pony, yes she has ridden for six weeks, ridden three ponies! Needs confident handler ... yes, she is twelve! .........
Needs more flatwork... don't worry we dont' jump!
I could go on, never seen so many people who can't ride!
 
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MrsD123 said:
But I have not repeatedly contacted you, [the new owner], I have sent one email regarding the payment owed to the groom and asking how the horse is getting on.
I am perfectly happy that I found the best place possible, the new owner suggested he would be sending me a video, all I asked on here was............. oh forget it.............
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Ok .... Never said you did ?? Quite happy to forget it
 
If he's working for his living then presumably he's in a riding school thats open to the public.

I advise you to let go emotionally if you can, and leave them to it. But if you can't, why can't you just go and visit him to see if he's happy?

Think very carefully before you do this. What are you going to do if you think he's unhappy?
 
Ownership was transferred to him at an agreed time, he was advised that any costs were his after that time, the horse still needed looked after from that time until he got it home.
I arranged for this to be done, but he had to pay.
The groom, was asked by the yard to poo pick his paddock, I did not arrange this, all I said to new owners was "all costs are yours". The groom would be too polite to ask him for the money, she did not know our arrangement.
Its nothing to do with the fee, but he agreed to pay the groom fee, he should have advised me that he had done so.
 
I must be really odd then. I keep in contact with the owners of my former horses and when invited to visit, I always bring a gift for the horse.
 
I would like to be invited to go and see him, but I would not go otherwise. It would definitely be weird.
Main thing for him is to have a secure home for life, I am 100% sure he is not going to be abused.
 
Spring Feather said:
Just phone the groom up and ask if she has been paid.
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I am not on here to ask what do about paying my groom, I only mentioned this as one of the things he should /could have confirmed with me.
I do not wish to pay her to do something I did not ask her to do............. it was the yard who must have asked her to poo pick, not me. I am particularly annoyed because the yard put him in this tiny wet paddock against my wishes, well more than that they lied to me about where he was going.
But obviously my groom is not involved in that problem and should not be out of pocket.
And there was no reason to poo pick the paddock, it was not poo picked before he used it, but had been used by the tiny ponies occasionally in summer but not now.
 
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I can understand how you feel as I had to sell mine a few years ago due to financial hardship but once they are sold and left your care unfortunately it is up to the new owners whether they want to stay in contact with you or not. I would not push it too much. I would be inclined to leave it a little longer before emailing again and if you don't get a response you really need to move forward. :0) x
 
MrsD123 said:
I would like to be invited to go and see him, but I would not go otherwise. It would definitely be weird.
Main thing for him is to have a secure home for life, I am 100% sure he is not going to be abused.
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Why would it be weird to visit him in a riding school? Friends of mine did when theirs was sold to riding school. No one thought it was odd.
 
regardless of whether he is at a professional yard, riding school, private home or the queens household he is no longer yours and you have no right to updates or anything, it's harsh but it's reality. if the groom has been paid or not is not your concern either as it was an arrangement made between her and new owner, if she hasn't been paid then it's up to her to chase it not you.
I sold a horse early this summer who i adored but had just reached the end of the line with, i have had 1 update and although i often wonder how he is getting on i know that it's not my business as he is no longer mine, if his new owner wants to update me she will and i will be pleased, but if she feels he is now hers and my involvement in his life is over then i will totally understand and leave her in peace. some people do not want old owners looking over their shoulder, when we sell we have to accept that, or not sell.
 
cptrayes said:
Why would it be weird to visit him in a riding school? Friends of mine did when theirs was sold to riding school. No one thought it was odd.
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It is weird because it was not a normal transaction, and owner asked me not to visit, so I 'd have to go "incognito", the whole point of the post is that the owner has not encouraged communication
 
blackbess said:
I remember you first posting about having to sell your boy:
http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?484211-Selling-my-best-pal
You have been through a lot of heartache and stress with selling him. I hope you get an update from his new owner soon and give you some peace of mind.
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Yes , its been really bad: I thought I had found him a good home, and then had to rescue him from starvation and abuse, and that was only the beginning!
This time ownership has passed, and I found him a forever home, which was essential for him as he is rather a sensitive soul, he needs an experienced home and just cannot cope with being moved around any more................
 
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