black_horse
Well-Known Member
Went for a lesson today, git wouldnt let me groom her, so she had to go caked in mud and her own faeces. The rug didnt fit and i put her travel boots on the wrong way around and inside out. You have NO idea how difficult that is.
The cowbag wouldnt load, but thats ok because the lorry wouldnt start. So i hacked there along the motorway despite the fact i dont need to take it to get there, in dark clothing and no hi viz.
I arrived at the stud an hour late to my lesson and proceeded to have a smoke ontop of the horse. The trainer was drunk, and she forgot to bring two glasses so i said i wasnt going to pay her, she can sue me for the money owed, but i have no insurance so good luck!
We spent the first half an hour trying to negociate with the effing mare to get into the sodding school. Half halting her, asking for more impulsion and softening her to the contact as she reared up and bucked. Eventually she bolted into the school. Thats ok though, a representative of huggy horsemanship said this was natural herd behaviour. So my instructor ran up behind her waving her arms about making barking noises. This was great for dee, now we know how fast she can gallop!
I have a show tomorrow so decided to practice the wrong test. Im doing a prelim and a novice, my trainer thought it would be good to practice the FEI Grand Prix Kur that totilas did at olympia. Everything was going well until the final piaffe and delicia sneezed. I fell off.
I spent the next hour trying to get back on. Not that delicia was dancing around but every time i remounted i was facing the wrong way and delicia did a little bunny hop. But its ok. I put some more dead sheep in her saddle and bridle and immediately was ready for badminton.
By this point the trainer was slumped asleep in the corner, snoring. So i stole her pikeur jacket.
We cantered along the roads in the dark all the way home. I wanted to walk but i think my spurs, whip, draw reins made dee a little frightened. Bless her cotton socks.
She was hot when we came back but as there was hose pipe ban, i could bathe her. This hose pipe ban is a tad annoying, i am speanding a fortune on bottles of evan and straws! Dee goes through at least 5 a day as i cannot fill her water bucket up as there is a hose attached to the pipe!!! grr
I fed her 4 scoops of oats and a litre of oil immediately. I hope she is nice and calm for tomorrow *fingers crossed*
I was going to clean my tack but i decided the dirty on the bridle matched my saddle, and i heard you have to match to win dressage. I am now off to the butchers to buy some dead sheep as i have read this helps dressage scores tomorrow.
I hope i can wear my new stilletos....
An Alternative Lesson Report.....because the truth is boring
The cowbag wouldnt load, but thats ok because the lorry wouldnt start. So i hacked there along the motorway despite the fact i dont need to take it to get there, in dark clothing and no hi viz.
I arrived at the stud an hour late to my lesson and proceeded to have a smoke ontop of the horse. The trainer was drunk, and she forgot to bring two glasses so i said i wasnt going to pay her, she can sue me for the money owed, but i have no insurance so good luck!
We spent the first half an hour trying to negociate with the effing mare to get into the sodding school. Half halting her, asking for more impulsion and softening her to the contact as she reared up and bucked. Eventually she bolted into the school. Thats ok though, a representative of huggy horsemanship said this was natural herd behaviour. So my instructor ran up behind her waving her arms about making barking noises. This was great for dee, now we know how fast she can gallop!
I have a show tomorrow so decided to practice the wrong test. Im doing a prelim and a novice, my trainer thought it would be good to practice the FEI Grand Prix Kur that totilas did at olympia. Everything was going well until the final piaffe and delicia sneezed. I fell off.
I spent the next hour trying to get back on. Not that delicia was dancing around but every time i remounted i was facing the wrong way and delicia did a little bunny hop. But its ok. I put some more dead sheep in her saddle and bridle and immediately was ready for badminton.
By this point the trainer was slumped asleep in the corner, snoring. So i stole her pikeur jacket.
We cantered along the roads in the dark all the way home. I wanted to walk but i think my spurs, whip, draw reins made dee a little frightened. Bless her cotton socks.
She was hot when we came back but as there was hose pipe ban, i could bathe her. This hose pipe ban is a tad annoying, i am speanding a fortune on bottles of evan and straws! Dee goes through at least 5 a day as i cannot fill her water bucket up as there is a hose attached to the pipe!!! grr
I fed her 4 scoops of oats and a litre of oil immediately. I hope she is nice and calm for tomorrow *fingers crossed*
I was going to clean my tack but i decided the dirty on the bridle matched my saddle, and i heard you have to match to win dressage. I am now off to the butchers to buy some dead sheep as i have read this helps dressage scores tomorrow.
I hope i can wear my new stilletos....
An Alternative Lesson Report.....because the truth is boring
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Well done, keep up the good work 
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