Mellymoo1
Well-Known Member
Jeez - it seems you can't have a rant on here without people jumping on you!!
I agree with KatB - Well said!
I agree with KatB - Well said!
Eurgh some people - sorry rant!!
- Thread starter Kelly1982
- Start date
TheresaW
Well-Known Member
Whatever reason the woman had for not taking Kelly to the lesson, surely it wouldn't have hurt her to say so to Kelly's face? If I didn't want to take someone out on our lorry, I would tell them.
magic104
Well-Known Member
Oh dear, I had better never lend my lorry out every again, or offer to take someone anywhere that I happen to be going. I am sorry but I dont feel there was any need to rip into Kelly1982. How many other people have had a winge & not been slated in this way?? Oh & by the way I do not take payment for my lorry. Whatever happened to helping people out?? Why do people have to be so selfish, nasty & down right rude to one another?? I have read & read the post & I don't think some of the comments were justified in the tone they have come across. So ladies try to play nice we can't all be perfect! Tolerance a great way to keep the blood pressure down. Now I will wait for you to rip into me... Happy blood letting!!
JoBo
Well-Known Member
Well said magic104, and that's all I have to say! Now I'm going just encase I get slated.........
Clodagh
Well-Known Member
I'm with you, the comments were really personal and nasty.
Is this why HHO is talked about on other forums as a really bitchy place!
I agree that the woman had no need to offer a lift, but theres no need to start baying for blood!
What are you all like in the pub after a few drinks if someone says the wrong thing??
Is this why HHO is talked about on other forums as a really bitchy place!
I agree that the woman had no need to offer a lift, but theres no need to start baying for blood!
What are you all like in the pub after a few drinks if someone says the wrong thing??
Rambo
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
What are you all like in the pub after a few drinks if someone says the wrong thing??
[/ QUOTE ]
Ermmmm....p1ssed
What are you all like in the pub after a few drinks if someone says the wrong thing??
[/ QUOTE ]
Ermmmm....p1ssed
Super_Kat
Well-Known Member
Reading through the replies I was shocked at what people were saying to kelly1982! Is there any need to launch personal attatcks on her?
evsj
Well-Known Member
give yourself and day or so to calm down then speak to her? just don't dwell on it and let it eat away inside you or you will start getting paranoid.
Baggybreeches
Well-Known Member
If I am the person whom others are refering to,then I dont think being called a drama queen is personal attack, it is just a turn of phrase used to describe somebody who makes a big deal of things, and I can assure everybody that I do not have a nasty bone in my body. My advice was intended to give Kelly the realisation that we do not live in a perfect world and if we dont expect pleasantry we wont be dissapointed.
Apols for inadvertently causing bad feeling
Apols for inadvertently causing bad feeling
Kelly1982
Well-Known Member
Thank you so much to those that are sticking up for me on this one and see where i am coming from.
I can see where people are coming from in the fact that she may not want to give me a lift coz of insurance etc which is totally understandable but then why give lifts to people from other yards so i know that is not the reason??
As someone said if she had just been upfront with me then i wouldn't be posting this, its the fact that she has suddenly changed and i dont know why. And i was a bit upset she hadn't offered me coz i know in the past she would have. So why not now??
This was just the latest thing that has happened in a long line of things that i have been talking about recently as to her weird behavour, i didn't mean it to come across as a spoilt brat in any way, shape or form.
I can see where people are coming from in the fact that she may not want to give me a lift coz of insurance etc which is totally understandable but then why give lifts to people from other yards so i know that is not the reason??
As someone said if she had just been upfront with me then i wouldn't be posting this, its the fact that she has suddenly changed and i dont know why. And i was a bit upset she hadn't offered me coz i know in the past she would have. So why not now??
This was just the latest thing that has happened in a long line of things that i have been talking about recently as to her weird behavour, i didn't mean it to come across as a spoilt brat in any way, shape or form.
happyhack
Well-Known Member
that is a bit weird. dont let it get to u tho-some ppl are just strange!!
KatB
Well-Known Member
My comment wasnt aimed at you! Yours want a personal attack. Others were.
JACQSZOO
Well-Known Member
Perhaps you have inadvertantly done something to upset her? Perhaps she has decided she doesnt like you? It could be a number of things - none of which you may be able to do anything about. She doesnt owe you an explanation so I suggest you take it as read. Your only other option is to ask her outright if she has a problem with you anyway.
Abs
Well-Known Member
Hmm, I don't want to be unsympathetic but there is a chance you may be misinterpreting the situation. If I was going to try out an instructor for the first time at a new place, I certainly would not want anyone else coming along with me. Perhaps yes, this lady should have been a little more sensitive, but I don't think you can expect a lift on the basis that you use the same instructor.
Perhaps things are just feeling a bit against you because of the issues with the other liveries. I'd try not to let it get you down. Once one thing goes wrong it's easy to read into other things.
If it was me, I'd go over when you see them again and ask nice and cheerily how their lesson went, and whether it was a nice place. Sulky answers like 'don't bother' aren't going to help you stay friends or get a lift in the future, which is what you really want, isn't it?
Perhaps things are just feeling a bit against you because of the issues with the other liveries. I'd try not to let it get you down. Once one thing goes wrong it's easy to read into other things.
If it was me, I'd go over when you see them again and ask nice and cheerily how their lesson went, and whether it was a nice place. Sulky answers like 'don't bother' aren't going to help you stay friends or get a lift in the future, which is what you really want, isn't it?
magic104
Well-Known Member
Don't worry about it Kelly, just ignore them. I don't like to see these types of posts, & my daughter refuses to come on here now because people were so out & out rude to her for asking a simple question for a project she was doing. I will go out of my way to help people that is how I was brought up. I am also dead straight with people they know exactly where they stand with me. I think there are some people on here that need to understand that the written word can be interpreted anyway you want. They seem to judge b4 actually stopping & thinking about it. There also seems to be some double standards with some people as well, but such is life & people are not perfect as I have said b4.
Baggybreeches
Well-Known Member
Phew
Kelly1982
Well-Known Member
Thats exactly how i am and maybe i just assume that people will treat me in the same way which is not neccesarily the case.
If it was just this one thing it would of gone over my head but its not and she has been like it with others too hence me posting about what she done to my friend as well.
Thanks for your support though, i think i will just only offer advice from now on instead of posting or asking people for theirs.
If it was just this one thing it would of gone over my head but its not and she has been like it with others too hence me posting about what she done to my friend as well.
Thanks for your support though, i think i will just only offer advice from now on instead of posting or asking people for theirs.
MrsMagoo
Well-Known Member
Oh Kelly, sos to hear about this person. Dont have much advice TBH apart from what the nicer people have said on here - just dont put yourself out anymore, look after No.1 and dont expect any help from anyone. That way if somone does offer to help one day then its a pleasant surprise.
Have to say though, I'm like you. I put myself out for people and take thier horses in our lorry if we're going the same place etc but sometimes dont even get a thank you from it
Did you see the other yard, are you moving?? Oh if you still have lessons with LM, her number is in Horsemart so could have got it from there....
Have to say though, I'm like you. I put myself out for people and take thier horses in our lorry if we're going the same place etc but sometimes dont even get a thank you from it
MillionDollar
Well-Known Member
Yeh don't let it get you down! I know how you must feel when someone goes behind your back when you think they are your friend. Its a horrible feeling- like they don't actually like you. And not having transport is also a really bummer!
And i agree this forum does get soooo bitchy sometimes, i've just been yelled at by people in the dog bit just beacuse i bred 3/4 border collies!!! Apparently im completely irresponsible! Whatever! Thats all i say they don't know me, so don't let others get you down.
And i agree this forum does get soooo bitchy sometimes, i've just been yelled at by people in the dog bit just beacuse i bred 3/4 border collies!!! Apparently im completely irresponsible! Whatever! Thats all i say they don't know me, so don't let others get you down.
X
xspiralx
Guest
Ugh, I think people are being really rude to Kelly.
Frankly that woman sounds like a complete bitch, IMO. If I helped somebody out with getting an instructor, and booking lessons week after week, I'd be kinda pissed off if they just dumped me without even offering to help out, knowing I was in difficulty. At the very least I'd want an explanation.
Likewise if I had transport and was in the position of this woman, I'd definitely try and help, and the only reason I might not would be if I couldn't for some reason and then I'd explain.
Unfortunately people are so often selfish and rude these days - and from all the other stuff she does [ie. chaining barrow, taking jumps down, paddock stealing etc] she just sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant person.
Frankly that woman sounds like a complete bitch, IMO. If I helped somebody out with getting an instructor, and booking lessons week after week, I'd be kinda pissed off if they just dumped me without even offering to help out, knowing I was in difficulty. At the very least I'd want an explanation.
Likewise if I had transport and was in the position of this woman, I'd definitely try and help, and the only reason I might not would be if I couldn't for some reason and then I'd explain.
Unfortunately people are so often selfish and rude these days - and from all the other stuff she does [ie. chaining barrow, taking jumps down, paddock stealing etc] she just sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant person.
Sparklet
Well-Known Member
To be honest I prefer not to transport other horses because my mares can be a bit protective of their space and I wouldnt want the lorry bashing about if they found a stranger next door. There may be good reasons why this person didnt want to offer you a lift or maybe she just didnt realise you wanted to go.
Why dont you ask her if she would mind taking you next time she goes and see what she says. You may just be mis-interpreting it all.
Why dont you ask her if she would mind taking you next time she goes and see what she says. You may just be mis-interpreting it all.
piebaldsparkle
Well-Known Member
Appart from the odd comment I don't think anyones been delliberately bitchy. This woman must have reasons why she has started chaining her stuff and taking her jumps down!!! - She probably hasn't got a particular with you, but if your worried ask her. Maybe some of her equipement has gone missing or been broken??! As for the paddock, that's for the YO to sort out. It is worth remebering that there are always teo sides to a story.
gnubee
Well-Known Member
Sounds to me like the woman might be a bit fed up with everyone borrowing her stuff. Sure it doesnt hurt her to lend it, so long as if you damage it you pay for it, but whilst she pays out her money on jumps and wheelbarrows and owning and maintaining a trailer and suitable sized car to pull it, everyone who gets to borrow them for free saves the money to use on themselves and their ponies. If she feels like she is being taken advantage of, its not really unusual that she would completely stop helping everyone on your yard so as to not single out anyone in particular, and would probably feel really stupid and uncomfortable trying to explain to you that she doesnt want to trailer you to lessons for that reason.
ladylisa
Well-Known Member
I dont think you are a drama queen, i would have felt the same way, if she has helped other people out with lifts, then why not you! After all your on the same yard and want to go to the same place. I know what people have said about having to wait for you to finish a lesson, but surely as long as its not every week it would be ok.
bandit
Well-Known Member
alright mate.
i know you aren't a drama queen and the issues you've had with these guys on your yard.
i've suggested moving from there before but understand totally that currently it's not possible....
just remember what goes around comes around and then they'll be sorry!!
Bx
i know you aren't a drama queen and the issues you've had with these guys on your yard.
i've suggested moving from there before but understand totally that currently it's not possible....
just remember what goes around comes around and then they'll be sorry!!
Bx
Doublethyme
Well-Known Member
Haven't read all the middle bit of this thread (not sure I want to as I assume it got a bit heated!). However, I have read the original post and some of the later ones.
[ QUOTE ]
Frankly that woman sounds like a complete bitch, IMO. If I helped somebody out with getting an instructor, and booking lessons week after week, I'd be kinda pissed off if they just dumped me without even offering to help out, knowing I was in difficulty. At the very least I'd want an explanation
[/ QUOTE ]
I kind of agree with this. Whilst I don't think anyone has to offer lifts to people and most certainly have the right to just take their horse, this particular woman sounds a bit funny and if I was Kelly I would have taken this personally and been miffed. The woman will take other people, even those off the yard, to places, but won't even offer an explanation, let alone a lift, to the person who has organised her child's lessons for her.
That in my opinion just shows a very distinct lack of manners. She in no way is obligated to take Kelly to the lessons, but is IMHO obligated by good manners to offer some explanation as to why she is unable to do so.
I don't have my own transport, but am regularly offered lifts to shows by my friend, but I feel that I am not "free loading" off her, as I offer her loads of support and help in return. To me it is just a case of trading what I have (ie time/support/advice) for what she has (transport). I don't feel she is obligated to take me anywhere, but would expect a polite reason for her not taking me. For example, she now has a young newly cut gelding, we are both concerned about taking him somewhere with my mare for the first time, so I would in no way "expect" her to take my mare to the next competition and wouldn't feel upset if she offered the space to someone else or took him on her own - that is her perogative, but understanding these reasons helps me to accept them.
By this woman's behaviour, Kelly has been left feeling she has upset her and it is personal, that isn't a nice feeling for anyone to be left with.
[ QUOTE ]
Frankly that woman sounds like a complete bitch, IMO. If I helped somebody out with getting an instructor, and booking lessons week after week, I'd be kinda pissed off if they just dumped me without even offering to help out, knowing I was in difficulty. At the very least I'd want an explanation
[/ QUOTE ]
I kind of agree with this. Whilst I don't think anyone has to offer lifts to people and most certainly have the right to just take their horse, this particular woman sounds a bit funny and if I was Kelly I would have taken this personally and been miffed. The woman will take other people, even those off the yard, to places, but won't even offer an explanation, let alone a lift, to the person who has organised her child's lessons for her.
That in my opinion just shows a very distinct lack of manners. She in no way is obligated to take Kelly to the lessons, but is IMHO obligated by good manners to offer some explanation as to why she is unable to do so.
I don't have my own transport, but am regularly offered lifts to shows by my friend, but I feel that I am not "free loading" off her, as I offer her loads of support and help in return. To me it is just a case of trading what I have (ie time/support/advice) for what she has (transport). I don't feel she is obligated to take me anywhere, but would expect a polite reason for her not taking me. For example, she now has a young newly cut gelding, we are both concerned about taking him somewhere with my mare for the first time, so I would in no way "expect" her to take my mare to the next competition and wouldn't feel upset if she offered the space to someone else or took him on her own - that is her perogative, but understanding these reasons helps me to accept them.
By this woman's behaviour, Kelly has been left feeling she has upset her and it is personal, that isn't a nice feeling for anyone to be left with.
Sarah1
Well-Known Member
Sorry but I agree with the people who are telling you to get a grip! This woman doesn't owe you anything, yes it would have been nice if she'd thought about you but she didn't - that's life, people are selfish!
The other things she's done are, well, weird but still don't mean that she owes you a lift to this instructor who she would never, ever have found out about if it wasn't for you!
If she hadn't used the instructor you recommended she'd have found another one, simple as that!
When my transport broke down I had to pay to get my horse back from Newmarket - I didn't feel the need to moan about every person I've ever done a favour for not offering to fetch him back - that's why they are called favours and not debts!
The other things she's done are, well, weird but still don't mean that she owes you a lift to this instructor who she would never, ever have found out about if it wasn't for you!
If she hadn't used the instructor you recommended she'd have found another one, simple as that!
When my transport broke down I had to pay to get my horse back from Newmarket - I didn't feel the need to moan about every person I've ever done a favour for not offering to fetch him back - that's why they are called favours and not debts!
henryhorn
Well-Known Member
Thank goodness I don't have a DIY yard anymore!
I think perhaps it's time to concentrate on your own horse and just say a friendly hello to this woman for a while.
I have to say I don't offer lifts to anyone as it invalidates our insurance plus quite frankly it's a nuisance if the horses don't know each other and mess about when tied closely. We are in a bit of a similar situation with our arena, although I have no problem with friends using it free (we don't charge) I don't want them to see it as their right to use it or be there every five minutes. In the past we have had poles broken and of course everyone claims it wasn't them, but guess who has to pay to replace them, yes us!
I think you are expecting a bit much thinking you should get a lift, paid for or otherwise, and really repeat my earlier advice, keep yourself to yourself for a while..
I think perhaps it's time to concentrate on your own horse and just say a friendly hello to this woman for a while.
I have to say I don't offer lifts to anyone as it invalidates our insurance plus quite frankly it's a nuisance if the horses don't know each other and mess about when tied closely. We are in a bit of a similar situation with our arena, although I have no problem with friends using it free (we don't charge) I don't want them to see it as their right to use it or be there every five minutes. In the past we have had poles broken and of course everyone claims it wasn't them, but guess who has to pay to replace them, yes us!
I think you are expecting a bit much thinking you should get a lift, paid for or otherwise, and really repeat my earlier advice, keep yourself to yourself for a while..
SirenaXVI
Well-Known Member
Sorry but I don't think this lady has been underhand, after all it is not her fault that you have no transport. It is also illegal to take a paying customer unless you have a licence (payment in kind is regarded as payment btw). I know that I would think twice before taking anybody on my box unless they were close friends - in this day and age people sue at the drop of a hat
TGM
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
I know that I would think twice before taking anybody on my box unless they were close friends - in this day and age people sue at the drop of a hat
[/ QUOTE ] Funny you should say that! A lady I know told me in great detail how her old horse had been given a lift in a box by a friend, and there had been an accident and the horse was killed. She tried to get the box-driving friend prosecuted for dangerous driving, without success. After telling me all this, a few days later she asked us to transport her new horse somewhere
!
I know that I would think twice before taking anybody on my box unless they were close friends - in this day and age people sue at the drop of a hat
[/ QUOTE ] Funny you should say that! A lady I know told me in great detail how her old horse had been given a lift in a box by a friend, and there had been an accident and the horse was killed. She tried to get the box-driving friend prosecuted for dangerous driving, without success. After telling me all this, a few days later she asked us to transport her new horse somewhere