Euthanasia, be there while it happens?

Someone sent me this when I lost my lovely mare who I had for 20 years.


My Foal

I’ll lend you for a little while, a foal of mine God said,
For you to love while he’s alive and mourn for when he’s dead.
It may be one or thirty years or maybe more than these
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
He’ll bring his charm to gladden you and should his stay be brief,
You shall have his memories, as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down here, I want this foal to learn.
I’ve looked this wide world over, in my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call and take him back again?
Will you shelter him with tenderness and love him while you may,
And for the happiness you’ve know, forever grateful stay?
But should the angels call for him much sooner than you planned,
Brave the bitter grief that comes and please try to understand.

Author Unknown
 
onemoretime said:
Someone sent me this when I lost my lovely mare who I had for 20 years.


My Foal

I’ll lend you for a little while, a foal of mine God said,
For you to love while he’s alive and mourn for when he’s dead.
It may be one or thirty years or maybe more than these
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
He’ll bring his charm to gladden you and should his stay be brief,
You shall have his memories, as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down here, I want this foal to learn.
I’ve looked this wide world over, in my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call and take him back again?
Will you shelter him with tenderness and love him while you may,
And for the happiness you’ve know, forever grateful stay?
But should the angels call for him much sooner than you planned,
Brave the bitter grief that comes and please try to understand.

Author Unknown
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thats beautiful And sooo true
thank you xx Amy

sorry for your loss xx
 
Ive lost 5 horses now and was there untill the end with all of them, i couldnt imagine not being there. I strongly believe your presence comforts them. I say this because my shetland gelding died 3 years ago from C. Diff (i also lost another 3 in the same month to the same thing). He was very ill for 2 days and was put on a drip and medication to help him even though the outlook was very poor. Every couple of hours i went up to check on him and change his drip, well i went up about 11pm and he was struggling to stand up. He was clearly panicking and i knew it was time to call the vet to put him to sleep as there was nothing else i could do for him. Went into his stable and started speaking to him calmy, stroking his neck and got him to lie down while continually comforting him. He calmed down and lay his head on my lap while i stroked his face stuggling to breath. By the time the vet got to the yard he had passed away in my arms. Its one of the most upsetting thing ive been through but wouldnt hesitate to do it again in a heart beat! I know for a fact that if i hadnt been there with him he would of suffered a very traumatic death. I also got to say goodbye to him. :)
 
I had my boy PTS in Jan by injection, I was with him until the end and so glad that I was. He went to sleep quickly and peacefully. I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. I wasn't there when he was taken away, I now have a picture in my mind of my baby just lying there asleep and at peace. Hope everything goes well for you, it's very sad x
 
ruth83 said:
. It is VERY normal for horses to appear to move and breathe after they have been PTS. These are normal, the horses heart will have stopped and they have no awareness/feeling of what is happening but certain body functions take longer to cease and muscle spasms are not uncommon.

****GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION WHICH MAY UPSET FOLLOWS****
I was present with a horse who was being shot for a combination of reasons. I won't go into the details of what happened when the horse was shot (if anyone really wants to know to help them make a decision on this then PM me) but the horse had been down for 2 or 3 minutes, it was obvious that a clean shot had been made and the horse was clearly dead, the vet had also done all the necessary checks to make sure the horse was gone. The vet and I were chatting and preparing a tarp to cover the horse until he could be collected when the horses body moved, this was a severe muscle spasm which happened in such a way that the body really looked like the horse was trying to get up - the front end came right up and almost 'sat up' whilst the back legs bent under the horse - then it stopped and went back to laying down. If you were not aware that this might happen and did not understand that the horse was completely dead at this point it could have been very disturbing and upsetting.
****GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OVER*********

.
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I had a similiar thing happen to me when my horse was put down at a hospital. They wouldn't let me be in the put down box whilst he was given the injection to end his life as he was extremely ataxic and they were concerned that it may have been an unpredictable 'sink to the ground', so I said goodbye and kissed his forehead and told him I loved him and walked out whilst they did the deed. But I insisted on seeing him afterwards.

I was eventually called in and I went in and was surrounded by the consultant and about four students (it was a teaching hospital), and I bent down and went to stroke his neck and said something along the lines "oh my poor Rommy" when he moaned really loudly, just as my hand touched his neck. He moaned another twice after that. None of the vets or students (it was a teaching hospital) had warned me this could happen. I can remember being in a state of shock and kind of half shouting, and half pleading with the consultant vet and saying " I thought you said he was dead". Dad knew that it was reflex and tried to calm me down. If only I had have read this post prior to the event I would have known that it was perfectly natural. Instead it frightened me and made the experience of seeing my horse after death so much more distressing than it needed to be. I will never forget it and it took me such a long time afterwards to get over his death, I don't think I have ever really come to terms with what happened that day and needed a lot of help afterwards. Full of torment (as I thought Dad was just protecting me and being nice to me by lying about what had happened) I wrote in desperation to a horse publication and the kindly vet wrote and told me all about reflexes after death and that its called agonal gasping, nothing to do with agony just a strange word that is used.

I am so sorry to the OP for being faced with this dilema but I would choose injection over shooting every time and would want to be with my horse at the end, but would probably not want to go back and see his body for a few minutes.
 
Hi, im really sorry your having to go through this and my heart goes out to you xx
I had to have my much loved old pony pts just over a yr ago. His liver was failing and it was the kindest thing to do. im not trying to scare you but this is my experience using the leathal injection......It was the most horrific thing ive ever seen in my life. i chose to have Timber pts by injection...but i wasnt prepared for it to take so long for my baby to go to sleep. I expected him to be injected then he would quietly lie down and go to sleep.........The vet had to inject 6 massive syringes in to my pony and being such a little fighter....he just wouldnt go down. The vet was trying to pull him down by his headcollar and ill never forget the look in Timbers eyes....he knew what was happening and his eyes were askin me why. it took a good 25 minutes for my boy to die and even when he was on the floor, still, his heart was still beating and the vet had to go to his car for yet more syringes. i stayed with my boy throughout and sat with him for 3 hours untill pet crem came for him, i gave him one final kiss and said goodbye. i didnt watch him go in the trailer but broke my heart seeing them drive off knowing id never see my pony of 18 years again. Writing this just brings it all back. i have another pony who is now 32, i hope to god i dont ever have to make the dicision with her.
im pleased i was there with timber, he was a sensitive soul and i hope me being there gave him a tiny bit of comfort. You do what feels right for you though, no body would think less of you if you wernt there x
 
laura7981 said:
Hi, im really sorry your having to go through this and my heart goes out to you xx
I had to have my much loved old pony pts just over a yr ago. His liver was failing and it was the kindest thing to do. im not trying to scare you but this is my experience using the leathal injection......It was the most horrific thing ive ever seen in my life. i chose to have Timber pts by injection...but i wasnt prepared for it to take so long for my baby to go to sleep. I expected him to be injected then he would quietly lie down and go to sleep.........The vet had to inject 6 massive syringes in to my pony and being such a little fighter....he just wouldnt go down. The vet was trying to pull him down by his headcollar and ill never forget the look in Timbers eyes....he knew what was happening and his eyes were askin me why. it took a good 25 minutes for my boy to die and even when he was on the floor, still, his heart was still beating and the vet had to go to his car for yet more syringes. i stayed with my boy throughout and sat with him for 3 hours untill pet crem came for him, i gave him one final kiss and said goodbye. i didnt watch him go in the trailer but broke my heart seeing them drive off knowing id never see my pony of 18 years again. Writing this just brings it all back. i have another pony who is now 32, i hope to god i dont ever have to make the dicision with her.
im pleased i was there with timber, he was a sensitive soul and i hope me being there gave him a tiny bit of comfort. You do what feels right for you though, no body would think less of you if you wernt there x[/QUOTE

I am so sorry to hear your dreadful experience.
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Really feel for you. We have just come to the decision that my 29yo is not coping well anymore & we will arrange things for when I have time off at the end of June. I will be there at the end. He was my sons first pony & has been in our lives for 10 years. We have a sort of hardstanding area at the yard where there are a lot of herbs growing that he loves to graze. I will give him his tea & let him graze there for a while each day for about a week before the day. Then he will think he is coming out for a treat. He will be shot with his mouth full of polos.
 
I had Toby a mini shetland with long standing health problems and protein loosing enteropathy put to sleep by injection. I was present and held him whist the vet shaved the injection site and then injected him. I cradled his neck as he collapsed and once he was on the ground I had to leave the barn for a short while I was so overcome. He didn't twitch or move at all he just crumpled quietly.
The Vet was outstanding and stayed for a while and I'm sure he did that until he was sure I was alright.

I am always comforted by the memory of, on that horrid rainy, windy day, when I came out of the barn after Toby died, the wind stopped and the sun came out.

God bless him and all those horses and owners struggling with life. :)
 
I choose not to be there for the removal and burial of Toby's body though.

I hope everything goes smoothly and peacefully op. I always think you know when the time is right.
 
I was with my boy when the vet injected him.

I asked the yard owner if i could put him down in his field under his favorite tree as i didn't like the thought of them trying to get him out of his stable once he was down...sounds stupid i know but i prefer to have the image of him in his field...?!!?

Anyway, the vet was great and gave me time to lead him to the field and for him to have a last munch of grass...
She gave him a sedative first and then while i was stroking him she injected him.

He fell to his knees and then on his side, there was no noise, movement, blood just plenty of tears.

I know it sounds silly but he went with my voice in his ears and grass in his mouth.

I'm quite a strong person and i don't normally get emotional so i knew i could handle it but OMG it hurts and your heart feels like it's going to explode...if you don't think you can handle it, no matter which way you decide to have you wonderful pony pts then don't be there. You will end up being more of a hindrance than help and it's stressful enough for everyone involved without a flapping, whaling owner being around!!

Either say your goodbyes before or after but i must admit i would always want to be there with mine if i have to go through that again.

I wasn't there when they took him away.

The vet was also very helpful to provide telephone numbers for various options for cremation, burial, the local hunt and even the local meat man. I must admit with my horse only being 6 it wasn't something i really though about so having leaflets and numbers to call was very handy!

It's an individual decision you need to make. There isn't a wrong or right one.
 
It also does depend IMO, if you think you are going to upset your horse more with your grieving when the horse doesn't know whats going to happen. I always assumed I would be there if I had to have mine put down but when it came to it, I said goodbye and then handed the rope to my vet and walked away. My old boy was very ill when he was put down so it was the right thing to do. I have "stood in" for friends so they could feel they were with their horse without upsetting it.

But as an earlier poster said, there is no right or wrong. You are advised to talk to your vet to see what options they offer (some don't give you a choice) and understand about "disposal" so that is one less area to distress you when the time comes. I am really sorry that you are going through this. There is no easy way through this and I do feel for you..
 
I have been there for a few horses end most recently when we had to have one of the racehorses put down in Jan after he broke a leg (tripped over his own legs in the yard and somehow broke a fetlock) and I stayed with him from when accident happened until he was gone. Horse was my OH's absolute baby and he wanted to be with him but one of the cows started calving and he had to look after her. It was horrible, and heart breaking but I am glad that I did it for George (the horse). He was pts with a shot as he was going to the hounds. We were unfortunate with the timing that it was a Sunday morn and the vet was stuck with a difficult calving when I rang and it was over an hour before he got there but the nature of the injury was such that George had no feeling in the leg that was broken and was happily stuffing his face. Vet rang when he was a few mins away so I could bring him to the field and he then sedated him as I stuffed his mouth with polos. I had to stand back while he was shot for safety but kept talking to him and then he was gone. It was quick and calm and the only distress was to the humans. It is not an easy thing to be present for and it takes guts but it is a lovely thing to be able to do for your four legged friend. Best of luck and feel free to PM at any stage if you have more questions.
 
I'm crying just reading everyone's experiences. I think it would be best for my animals to have a familiar face especially my gelding as he's such a worrier. I wouldn't want to remember them that way but the thought of it being done in a field does seem more peaceful.

I can't begin to imagine how hard it has been for all of you. I'm just glad that from the stories I read, none of them died alone or scared.
 
amage said:
. It is not an easy thing to be present for and it takes guts but it is a lovely thing to be able to do for your four legged friend. Best of luck and feel free to PM at any stage if you have more questions.
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Ahh - not fair to say it takes guts. It has to be down to the individual and you can't make such general statements. Siome people choose/can be with their horse, some can't and my vet advises against very visibly distressed owners staying to the end as it has a poor impact on the horse. Again, OP must do what is best for her and her horse, its entirely a personal decision and as everyone knows who has ever lost a horse (or any much loved animal), its not something that ever really leaves you.
 
I'm sure Oliver appreciates the special attention. :)

It is a very, very personal decision and as has been said earlier there is no wrong or right way just the best way in individual circumstances.

It is good to think about where it happens. I choose the barn as that is where Toby had spent a good deal of time and there is an open side for access. It was also a horrid day weather wise.

Sending strength to you and Oliver Spellbound13
 
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amandap said:
I'm sure Oliver appreciates the special attention. :)

It is a very, very personal decision and as has been said earlier there is no wrong or right way just the best way in individual circumstances.

It is good to think about where it happens. I choose the barn as that is where Toby had spent a good deal of time and there is an open side for access. It was also a horrid day weather wise.

Sending strength to you and Oliver Spellbound13
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Thank you
Yes i have been thinking about this, i do have a big field with a big gate access, and also my arena, but the gate is at the side so im not sure.
i think he will like it in the field :)
 
I'm crying - again. My old tb haemorrhaged from a sarcoid in the field a fortnight ago and had to be pts as an emergency. We had planned to wait a month or two longer and do it in the sunshine after a walk round his old haunts, but sadly the choice was taken from me.

His ending was peaceful as he was trying to go down anyway, but the whole episode was a nightmare. Both the vet and the lorry man were outstandingly sympathetic, but it was horrid to think that his last few hours were in distress, and it doesn't take much to set me off again.

The process itself is ok, you need to hold the thought that your horse doesn't know what's happening, and not be ashamed or afraid to cry - I did, buckets, and noone was bothered.

I echo what the others say about not being there when he is collected - I was in the far field, holding the other pony tightly with my hands over my ears so I couldn't hear anything.

Luckily it rained all day which cleaned up a lot of the blood in field, and suited my mood - I still can't bring myself to clean his tack....
 
frostyfingers said:
I still can't bring myself to clean his tack....
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Well, you don't need to do it until you are good and able to. It is all part of the grieving process and we all have different stages, lengths and thought to go through as part of it. When I lost my dog I cried buckets after clearing up his last poo from his 'corner' in the garden, odd as it seems it just set me off and with the little mare I left her fly rug hanging over her stable for months, I still have that little rug hanging even now with her hairs on it and it was two years ago. You just do what feels right for you. I am so sorry for your loss too :(
 
Hiya everyone

I think im lucky that I have a little filly aswell that I will be able to be with aswell.
Unfortunatly this means she will be loosing her life long companinon (she is only 4) so Im already having to make arragements for her to have a field friend untill I can sort something out.
But I want to get all of his rugs made to fit her, I guess that way he will always be there for us both xx
I also like the idea of him being in his field at the last moments xx
 
Lost my horse yesterday , Tue. My post "Need a name for my Horse .. Help " , it was really peaceful and done outside (so the people collecting could get her easily , no struggling through doorways ). Never had a horse shot , always injection , it seems the most peaceful way , you can talk to them and be near right to the end .
Its a sad day but you do the best for your horse .
 
As a small yard owner and having been around horses for far too long I've been with quite a few. It never gets any easier, whether it's you own or someone else's, but it is NOT terrifying. As somebody else said, the nerve twitching afterwards can be frightening the first time you see it, but remember the horse is gone.

The vet will be happy to expxlain to you in advance what is going to happen. I think the biggest service you can do your horse is to be with him, keep your voice normal and cheerful (not that easy), have some of his /her favourite treats and just keep feeding them. Save the tears till he/she is gone.

With my liveries I then suggest they go home, and I deal with the carrier. This is the most distressful part, strangely. But the carrier we have here is SO nice, and treats the dead horse with respect and efficiency. When my own horses have been put down I used to wait for the carrier, but now get my husband or one of the liveries to be there for me

I write with a full heart as a few days ago I went out at midnight to check on my mare who had been poorly, and found that my oldest livery was unable to move. He had broken his leg, right high up in the body, and had to be put down. His owner hadn't seen a horse put down before, and screamed as he started to buckle. But I hope the old boy never heard her. He'd eaten about 3lb carrots in the final 15 minutes and probably thought he was in heaven already.

It's the most horrid, but the bravest decision any horse owner has to take, and I do feel for you so much. Hopefully you have kind friends to be there with you, and to share memories with afterwards.
 
Rose Folly said:
Save the tears till he/she is gone.


QUOTE]

I agree with that. Whilst I was at Liverpool with my horse undergoing xrays for possible wobblers I was called in a told the worst news possible that my boy would have to be pts, he was only ten years of age. I was told to 'spend sometime with him' and can remember walking him slowly around the yard not really knowing what to do with myself. My Dad was chatting to the consultant and my horse was heavily sedated. In the end because I really was in shock and didn't know what else the hell to do I rang my partner of 4 years and explained to him that my horse was going to be pts. It was awful as my partner was in shock and was trying to persuade me to change my mind and give him a chance, have an operation etc, all the things that I'd already discussed with the consultant and that he'd said wouldn't be an option in Rommy's case. I was stood there with Rommy in one hand and chatting to my partner in the other trying not to cry. It wasn't his fault but he didn't make it easy for me that day.

It was horrible. I was just chatting to Rommy telling him how much I'd enjoyed having him with me the 2 1/2 years I'd owned him, how I'd enjoyed doing all our 'first's', going on holiday together, competing and stopping overnight for a few days, doing the trailblazers final, etc. And i just thanked him for all the love and joy he'd given me. But above all else I was determined I wasn't going to cry in front of him so I kept my voice chatty almost trying to smile as I spoke to him, so he woudln't think anything was amiss and I am almost certain that I did a good job of it.

When it came to him being PTS I wasn't allowed to be present but accompanied him into the put down box with the nurse that tried to lead him in. He was frightened (not of dying as clearly he didn't know that he was going to) but of the box itself so I remember gently taking the rope from the nurse and leading him in and talking to him quietly, he followed me into the box because he trusted me, that was the hardest part of the whole thing and it took me a long while to forgive myself for that as I felt I'd betrayed him - lamb to the slaughter, literally.

I've always come across as quite a hard hearted person, not over sentimental, and some people think I am a total bitch and don't love my horses, but I have lost four in under seven years and I try to give the impression I don't really care, when in fact I probably care more than most and live most of my life in constant fear of losing the 'next one'.

I gave Rommy a kiss (there was the consultant and about five students in the box) but I didn't give a damn looking soft or anything, so I kissed him, said 'I love you' and then walked out and never looked back. I didn't cry until afterwards when I saw his body and the awful twitching and moaning that I explained about in my post earlier.

I shall always remember the image of a girl on our yard clinging to her horses neck bawling her eyes out the night before her horse was due to be PTS and I vowed that whatever comes I would NEVER do that to my horse. They are not stupid and self control (no matter how hard) is of paramount importance.
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i know I will cry, but hes used to that as i cry whenever he cant walk or get up, but im gunna make sure they are silent tears for him, im saving him from the pain and missery he is in, so i think its rather a proud and loving thing to do for him, and i know hes going to be much happier and in a better place afterwords ... im just going to miss him soooo muc, hes my best friend and soul mate... but he cant continue in this way for my own selfishness not to miss him
xxx
 
Sorry to hear you are having to make this decision. I was with my old boy when he was PTS as an emergency, and yes I cried buckets, but it was very peaceful. He was down anyway, so the vet just injected him and quite quickly he was peaceful and then slipped away (he had been quite distressed).

My son came down to the field to be with me, but there was no question that I would not be there with my horse at the end. I have been with all my animals when they were PTS and firmly believe it is the last kind thing we can do for them - a familiar face at a difficult time.

After the vet left my son went also, so I was alone with him and my mare in the field until the lorry came to take him away, and even though it was overwhelmingly sad I found it quite healing to be around him. I didn't watch when they winched him in to the lorry though, as had always been advised not to.

Hugs to you. xx
 
I think the definying moment will be when i take my filly to see him when hes gone, and to see how she reacts, shes already started behaving oddly, its like they both know whats coming xx
 
I have always been there when the hunt comes out to do the deed. The huntsman smells of horses & dogs, not chemicals like the Vet,the horse just relaxs while he strokes his nose & feeds him polos, doesn't know what a gun is so doesn't need sedation. There is no fear, pain or panic The shot is quick, death immediate. Once the horse is dead you can let your emotions go but do try & hold yourself together for the horses sake while he is still alive as it's better for him.
 
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