Eventing on my own?

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Jango

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As the weather is less than ideal tomorrow in the NW my sister in law who was supposed to come and help me eventing tomorrow has cancelled. The rest of my family are away and all my friends are busy. Can't say I blame my SIL, but now I don't know whether to bother going. Trying to remember everything, no videos or support if things go badly. It's only my 3rd event this year after not doing any for 5 years so its not like I'm very experienced. I'm happy to dressage or SJ on my own, box up for hacks etc. It's not a safety thing. I just feel like it will be so stressful and won't enjoy it. there is so much to remember and do through the day, I'm bound to forget stuff. Just wondering if other people event on their own? Any advice or should I just jack it in and watch the rugby in a warm day pub?!
 
Where are you going if I can ask - I'm going eventing in the NW too, cholmondeley. If you want to go I'd go anyway, you've entered so it's paid etc now. If you'd be happy doing dressage and SJ on your own see how you feel after those and either retire or carry on as suits
 
I quite like going on my own except from the safety issue.
take one discipline at a time. You can always withdraw from the xc if you’re feeling windy or not prepared. You probably won’t tho once you’re there.
good luck!
 
Where are you going? I am watching a friend at cholmondeley tomorrow if you pm me your times and I'm there i will come and help you.
 
Yeah it's at Cholmondeley. Thank you for the kind offers but I don't want to put anyone out I don't know! It's all the stuff to remember for each phase ? where everything is, where I've parked my lorry, courses, studs, numbers etc. I have a chronically awful memory so I need someone to confiscate my stick, force me to put my number on etc! It's easy for dressage or jumping, one set of gear, shove it all on and go ? I have plaited, bathed and packed the lorry so I'll probably go. I just feel I'll be disappointed in myself if I don't go, but so stressed if I do and it's supposed to be fun! The shit forecast and later xc time isn't helping my positivity!
 
Jango said:
Yeah it's at Cholmondeley. Thank you for the kind offers but I don't want to put anyone out I don't know! It's all the stuff to remember for each phase ? where everything is, where I've parked my lorry, courses, studs, numbers etc. I have a chronically awful memory so I need someone to confiscate my stick, force me to put my number on etc! It's easy for dressage or jumping, one set of gear, shove it all on and go ? I have plaited, bathed and packed the lorry so I'll probably go. I just feel I'll be disappointed in myself if I don't go, but so stressed if I do and it's supposed to be fun! The shit forecast and later xc time isn't helping my positivity!
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Go and just tackle it phase by phase, and don’t be afraid to accept kind offers of help. People wouldn’t suggest it if they weren’t up for it, promise.
Good luck & enjoy!
 
No help to you because I'm in Scotland but back in the day when my horse was off games I went to meet an HHOer stranger and be their groom because they were eventing alone.

I ended up going to a few events with her and met lots of the other Scottish hhoers.

I really enjoy the groom/photographer/picnic provider role so it definitely never put me out. I understand about not wanting to put people out (or <whispers> meet the stranger and they aren't you kind of person but you both feel obliged for the whole day) but people wouldn't offer if they didn't mean it and lots of people prefer being involved at some level rather than just spectating.

Its always good to have a network and its easy to build one with eventing because almost everyone is friendly and open to chatting. Honestly in your shoes I'd jump at any offers. Always handy to have an extra body for horse watch if you need to nip to the portaloo or to get chips & cheese ?
 
Yeah, I'm relatively late in the 80, I don't love the forecast, but the actual map looks like it might miss us so who knows.
 
In other circumstances I would happily volunteer to come and assist - I'm a bit busy tomorrow with my daughter's 18th (meep!) but on another day I would be more than happy for an excuse to come to an event and help someone. So if someone offers to help, please take it as a genuine offer. And on another day if you need some help at a NW event, please let me know!
 
I tend to go on my own and it's often less stressful than trying to locate where your helpers have got to and them trying (and failing) to work out how many are due to jump before you! Only works because mine are super sensible and easy to shove back in the lorry between phases etc. Pack each phase's 'kit' into a seperate bag/box and then it's easy to grab out in a rush, and if you ask all the stewards nicely they'll do the bits of 'how many before me for dressage?'
 
I used to event with just my non horsey aged mother with me. She would ring sandwiches and a smile, but knew nothing about horses and eventing, so it was like being on my own in many ways. She was too infirm to go into collecting rings, so I had to manage that aspect alone. I would do BD and BS completely alone, it was just that, back in the day, BE required you to have someone with you who could identify your horse and wagon if you had a mishap (I think she would have known which wagon, but other than the horse being big and brown, identifying the correct horse would have been a lottery LOL, and she would not have been able to untack or anything), going alone was not even permitted, from what I remember.

I would say go, and you will probably be surprised how much you enjoy it. Also how much you don't forget stuff when you are alone, as you are able to concentrate on you and your horse, no chatting.

I used to do a list for each phase, mentally check it off while I was going on.

The dressage steward, I would ask if we were to time when I went in. After that, they aren't allowed to make you go early, so I could go warm up for a while, only going back 10 minutes before my time to see if anyone had dropped out. By that stage they could generally tell you, "were is this one in now, then the grey, then the chestnut, then you," and I could be self sufficient. I would leave the whip with the dressage steward.

SJ, I would just slot in with someone's warmup, so their groom did the fence. Getting into the ring was easier as there is generally a list of numbers, but I would still tell the steward that I was alone and was ready, as at some events if a groom wasn't there to tell Tham I was ready, they would start to slot people in from 5 to go onwards. Some grooms are very pushy, I was once pushed back nearly an hour because other people had forceful grooms. I had to get rather forceful myself!

XC is usually very laid back. Report to the steward, explain I was here, runny jump a bit, explain I was ready, often they would actually shout me to ask if I was ready...

Seriously, it will be a breeze.
 
I used to event alone a lot, it’s completely doable, even when I had a horse that wouldn’t stand on the lorry for very long.

Pack your stuff into large feed buckets for each phase.
Take a lunge line - one of mine wouldn’t tie very well for studs etc but with this I could reach the back of them whilst still holding.
Clear your studs out before your leave and put hold/road studs in so it’s very easy when you’re there.
Please tell the event organiser you are a lone competitor and have an emergency contact handy, I also used to tell the XC steward just incase.
For future, print out your number and stick to lorry/box incase someone needs to get hold of you.
Tell your neighbours in the car park you are alone. But also be aware not everyone is a nice person in this world so always lock up when you leave for each phase.
Wear a watch! And ask if they are running to time at each warm up. A lot easier than pulling your phone in and out of your pocket.


Having attended events as a groom during COVID times it’s probably easier than ever now to go alone with the showjumping warm up fences being done. That was my hardest bit, and you occasionally would get some really unhelpful people. That was rare though :)

It is hard work, but it’s very possible. Enjoy it.
 
I’ve evented (and hunted) on my own for years now. Especially since I moved halfway up the country 2 years ago and know precisely one person I’d feel comfortable asking if they’d come with (and our schedules rarely align so she could). It’s not too bad, you get used to it. Take it one phase at a time and you can always withdraw if you’re not happy.

(though even when my parents had to drive me, they’re completely non horsey and wouldn’t have known what I needed to bring/do anyway, so I’ve had to organise everything like I was on my own since I was 11 ?)
 
I hope you went today and I am willing to bet that you were fine and had fun. I love going out and about on my own. It's more relaxing just being able to do my own thing. I always find other people really helpful too if I do find myself in a position where I need to ask for help.
 
Thank you so much everyone!! I did go and SO glad I did. After a slightly desperate Facebook message last night it turns out one of my friends was also competing at really similar times in my class (she'd swapped onto a friend's horse as her friend was ill) so although I arrived alone I wasn't actually alone! Also knew a few other people competing which made a huge difference.

My little mare Goosey was absolutely mega! It was only our second 80 and she got 32 dressage, double clear and 3 time faults XC for 6th! She's not a speed demon and today was our closest to the optimum time over a really long course (5mins 42sec). I nearly cried at the end ??. Considering the weather the ground was brilliant, a bit cut up but not deep or slippy. I got soaked, but who cares! The XC did cause some issues, lots of faults and eliminations.

I feel ok about going solo in future now! Definitely going to use that box idea to pack all my kit next time and print out some contact details to stick on my lorry. I'm very lucky Goosey is mega chilled, so she can be left while I walk courses etc. My parents aren't horsey, but I'm happy if they can come. They have filmed the wrong horse before! But they can at least hold her and pass me stuff ?

How did everyone else get on who was competing today?
 
what a lovely report, glad you enjoyed yourself, if i was anywhere near you i would have loved to come and help. dont forget those of us who cant compete enjoy being on the inside and helping so ask around before your next one.. i am going to ely tomorrow to help a friend and i know i will enjoy myself even if the weather is bad
 
So glad we all helped persuade you. We came 9th in ours - 2nd going in to xc but time dropped us down. Loads had time faults today so super well done to you. I was a bit conservative but tbh I thought I'd get E'd (possibly in the SJ) he's cautious if he doesn't trust the ground so I'm super pleased
 
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