Expectations?

[Baydale]

It must be that time of year as I'm generally not prone to this degree of navel-gazing, but a few things have happened in Baydale Land to prompt this post - nothing exciting, just a few curve balls.

:

In a nutshell, and bear with me as "vague" isn't always "delightful",

I would like to know your thoughts on:

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?

3. Your owner(s): or should that be more their expectations of you? But what are you expecting from them?

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?

Over to you, feel free to make your replies as light-hearted or serious as you like, but not too many cryptic ones please - I really can't be bothered with them after spending too much time on Facebook lately.

 

[PaddyMonty]

1) I expect to be able to get my current ride round a BN clear. Sadly that doesn't seem to be the case due to numpty rider errors.

2) In between trainers atm. Previous trainer we agreed between us realistic sort and longer term goals. That way we were both working to the same book.

3) Owner probably has lower expectations than I have. She has total faith in my abilities. Shame I cant live up to that.

4) Dont really have any help. Billy no mates at comps.

 

[Prince33Sp4rkle]

1.horse-is the leader of my expectation, as in i am led by how he feels and try not to expect too much if i know there is an issue or a problem we are working though. I dont let other peoples expectation change how i produce the horse.
If things dont go to plan i DO tend to dwell on it, not so much in *riding time*-iv learnt the hard way not to drill something that is an issue, but in my free time (or at work!!!) i tend to ponder and wonder and try and work it out.always results in a headache and the remedy is usually blindingly obvious.......

im quite good at sticking to plans, but not too rigidly-i have always planned to get back out to shows early March, so that is what i will do as feel it is tempting fate to go out earlier!

2.trainer(s) work with me, on what i want to work on. i wouldnt say i set my own agenda-after all i pay for their advise, but i am old enough and experienced enough to know what is a realistic plan and what isnt, so plan my goals without their input.

3.n/a

4.OH is none horsey and all he knows is that when the horse goes well im in a good mood and if it all goes tits up im a sulky cow! mother is transport cheif and head groom and although horsey isnt really technical dressagey so doesnt get too involved in the ins and outs of what my goals are. she roughly knows where i want to be by the end of the winter/summer season but not show to show or day to day etc.

so the long (rather than short of it!) is that my expectations of myself are very high, not so much as in i want to win (or think i should do) every time out, but that i am producing the horse correctly for long term sucess and if i feel i may have balls'd that up-i get very disappointed in MYSELF,never the horse.

im hard on myself but like to think im fair on the horse.

hope thats what you meant!

 

[diggerbez]

[ QUOTE ]
It must be that time of year as I'm generally not prone to this degree of navel-gazing, but a few things have happened in Baydale Land to prompt this post - nothing exciting, just a few curve balls.

:

In a nutshell, and bear with me as "vague" isn't always "delightful",

I would like to know your thoughts on:

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?

3. Your owner(s): or should that be more their expectations of you? But what are you expecting from them?

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?

Over to you, feel free to make your replies as light-hearted or serious as you like, but not too many cryptic ones please - I really can't be bothered with them after spending too much time on Facebook lately.

[/ QUOTE ]

1. I used to put quite a lot of pressure on myself but then years of having a nappy and unpredictable horse has made me relax a little. since i got my youngster (who is now rising 5, eek

) i'm a lot more laid back. i like to think i have a positive approach to training and trying to progress his education but am taking everything slowly slowly and trying to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. so i'm aiming to BE him this year but so long as i am taking baby steps towards it then thats fine. i had thought he'd be BSJAing by now but am still doing 65cm courses at shows...have just accepted that need to take the time...

2. my trainers are fab. especially my SJ trainer. i trust her implicitly to give me good advice. having said that i plan my own comps/lessons etc and just ask her if i'm unsure of anything. she tends to make the decisions about what we need to work on in lessons... flatwork i love my lessons but don't want to do pure DR which i think disappoints him....

3. i have no owners so no probs!

4. i have no groom so again no probs

 

[LEC]

As a complete neurotic I have learnt to chill!

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.
<font color="red">Now I have no expectations - having had the horse off for 18 months and now he is back being much better than I expected I dare not get my hopes up so for the first time ever I am actually *gasps* enjoying myself. I feel less under pressure, less stressed and I am going to start him at intro which I would never have done in the past. He would have been chucked straight back at PN before me having wild ambitions that would have been dashed. </font>

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that? <font color="red"> I am very lucky in that I have some very good friends who are very experienced. I have a great trainer who I trust implictly when I ask for advice as knows horse and me inside out. I also think being the type of person I am - I question everything anyway and want to know why etc I set my own agenda and am pretty independant.</font>

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands? <font color="red"> My OH is great and very supportive and the only person who has helped me is SC who is very helpful and we have a very good relationship that works on pushing each other but being supportive.</font>

The last 18 months has probably changed me - I had the ride on a horse last year who taught me huge amounts and made me realise how mentally I get affected by things as I put myself under so much pressure. I found the more I put myself under pressure the worse the horse would go.

 

[Stoxx]

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.

I bought a new horse recently, he is my dream horse, my main concern was for us to get to know each other and have fun, but I also had a few plans of what I would like to do (try for inter regional team, young horse classes etc). For one reason and another I have more or less not been able to ride him since I bought him and in 2 months we are 8 vets visits down and he is about to spend his 2nd week at the vets.
Yes it is disappointing, but what choice have you got but to except it and get on with things. Hopefully I will be back on board during the summer.

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?

I like to think it is a bit of both, however I do think it is important to find a trainer that understands you and what you want to do but that you respect enough to listen to their opinion on where you should go. At the end of the day that is why you pay them!

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?

I have friends that I know I can rely on to help, but equally my OH with a bit of persuasion will help!

 

[milliepops]

[ QUOTE ]

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.

[/ QUOTE ]

I actually have very few expectations of my horse. She isn't what you would typically pick as a competition horse so I already feel like she has exceeded any expectations I ever had. I do expect her to try for me - which she generally does - the times I feel she has let down her side of the bargain, she has turned out to be ill.

If things don't go to plan, it's usually my fault. I have higher expectations of myself - I put a lot of pressure on myself, tend to dwell on mistakes and give all credit for successes to the horse

[ QUOTE ]

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?

[/ QUOTE ]

If I find someone I trust, I would be led by them up to a point. I do tend to have a plan though which I will try to work to if possible. Not sure where you are going with this question, but I tend to underestimate what I/horse are capable of. That often means that my expectations are raised by my trainer.
[ QUOTE ]

3. Your owner(s): or should that be more their expectations of you? But what are you expecting from them?

[/ QUOTE ]

Fortunately I no longer have one! I found it way too stressful.
[ QUOTE ]

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?

[/ QUOTE ]

(ETA - I get help at shows sometimes, do everything myself at home)
I try not to expect too much from friends who come along to help. After all, it's my fun, not theirs and they are doing me a favour. I needed someone to drive me to shows and it's nice to have someone to sort studs out, do poles and help walk the horse off at the end, but apart from that I try to be as self sufficient as possible.

One thing I do expect on the day is not to get a stream of CC in stressful moments - some gentle support is welcomed but I'm the sort of person that can't take much in if I'm stressed out/nervous. I find it more useful to get feedback after we are finished - a bit late then but that's the only time I can really concentrate on it.

And I also expect to buy them lunch!

 

[BBs]

Mm interesting post.
Now if I were still eventing... I could probably write and essay on this.. Phew but youre relieved to hear that one

Now... things have changed, my outlook on my horses have changed.
The hunger for success hasnt got any less so, but I think the *rush* in me has (does that make sense)? or does that mean Ive just become lazy?

For the horses, having had two pretty poor seasons due to horses being injured Im hoping they will just stay fit and well to ride tbh.
Of course, Ive set the bar for both of them, and I know where I want to be with both of them by the end of the year. But if I dont get there, to me now, it really isnt a big deal. I want results and I want good marks. I dont wanna attempt a Medium/AM and get shocking results.
When I evented it was all about getting that first DC of the season and then head off up to Novice.. albeit in my case not so successful

As for an instructor, there is little point paying someone to give you advice and helping you if you arent going to take much notice of what theyre telling you? Call me old fashioned but WTF?! why would anyone do that?
Of course, i have had trainers in the past who I think we've got to that point when I need some fresh eyes or if I dont believe what theyre instructing me to do is going to work for me or my horse...kinda manufactured teaching I call it, when someone just has a string of clients to teach day in day out.
Unfortunately for me, training hasnt featured high my agenda in the past 8 months, not due to not wanting it to be, but for one thing or another.
Ive now sort help with someone else, who visits the area twice a month and who isnt mega bucks. Our first training session with them was going to be Saturday, unfortunately the flu has put pay to that

but I am hoping he will be able to send me off in the right direction.

I am the owner, but when my father was a live he was the main person I wanted to please. This unfortunately put HUGE pressure on me to do well, and not in a good way. So for me now, I do dressage because it doesnt stress me out, I enjoy it and now because I have no nerves to contend with I do reasonably well and I only have myself to blame when i forget the fricken test.

My mother is my help normally although friends have played a bigger role the last year. Mum just wants me to enjoy it and tbh would rather i didnt start raising the bar.. ie I think she'd be happy if i stayed in elementary for the rest of my life... I think she worries that I will start putting pressure on myself again. Saying that, she says dressage isnt as exciting as eventing and she misses eventing *I cant win*

Have I read this post correctly or gone off in a completely different direction.. Im never sure these days

 

[dieseldog]

1. Being the owner of another long term cripple you are just grateful being able to do anything. Saying that I know what she can do which does result in me getting carried away in Jump Offs which does mean sometimes it doesn't work out. I don't let it affect me too much as if I didn't try I would never get anywhere as I can only jump open classes and there are all pretty quick. I get no prizes for double clears anymore. ATM I am not expecting the same success at bigger heights - I will just be pleased to have gone up a level.

2. I haven't had a lesson in ages and last time I did I was so useless I would have thought the only thought in her head would be sell the horse! I am however going to take jumping more seriously this year so am booking some lessons.

3. I would hate to have owners. My horse, my mistakes, my problem.

4. I tend to do everything by myself. I am though in full on nag mode to my husband as I WANT living in my living.

 

[only_me]

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.
My expectations are that he will comfortably do a 1*. It didnt go to plan last year (various reasons) but now am making sure horses are over ready for events. Fitter than they need to be, more events than they needed to do in prep. But I have to make sure i keep the fun element, otherwise whats the point?


2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?

I have my agenda and tell my trainers - who advise me if it is possible or not. then going by their judgement I adjust accordingly. I trust my trainers judgement 100%. But If i want to do something, they will help me to get there!

3. Your owner(s): or should that be more their expectations of you? But what are you expecting from them?

They want me to have fun - and enjoy the horse.

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?

Dad, YO helps me

 

[kick_On]

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.
<font color="red"> My true hope is that i can keep my horses sound and well and then i treat everything as a bonus and go where the journey takes you </font>

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?
<font color="red"> I do have a basic plan and do and dicuss. The i will listern, esp to my friend/trainer. As she is such the most wisest person i've every met andhas IMHO true horsemanship skills, plus she never has an angle to give you </font>

3. Your owner(s): or should that be more their expectations of you? But what are you expecting from them?
<font color="red"> For owners i hope we can keep talking and always have sight of the horse wellfair and beneifit. As for their expections of me ..............mmmmmmmmm I just hope i do their horses jugdice(sp) and make them smile and enjoy watching their horses perform and get a buzz - It should be fun horse - is a good ditto to follow </font>

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?
<font color="red"> I real value all the help i've been given. OH doesn't do horses as he said i'm a little bossy at comp - i call it focused. As for friends i have a select few (lots of aquentices) and they are just wonderful and i wouldn't be without them and would missed them if they could not longer help </font>

 

[icestationzebra]

Are you on the toffee vodka again? Nothing wrong with that if so - sun is past the yard arm and all that!

I have what I call reasonable expectations for my ability. I want to do really well at the levels I ride at, however, I have no aspirations to do 'bigger' if that makes sense. Although with dressage I'd like to pursue that forwards and push on.... I've had loads of not going to plan, and last year quite a lot went to plan and I was chuffed - so this year I just want to consolidate and enjoy myself.

The people I have to help me are quite carefully chosen... I have to like them and want to work with them. They have to tolerate me (

) and want to help me be the best we (I and horse) can be without pushing us too hard. I don't want constant pressure and goal setting because I do this for fun - that said I do like having clear objectives set and I do want people to be honest with me. I genuinely do go away from lessons and work on stuff, I work my horse in all weathers and I am pretty hard on myself - just in case anyone thought I was sounding a bit casual

Owners? Who are they?

Help - OH is brilliant and helps by 'doing' practical stuff but he doesn't interfere at all in what I do or where I go. He makes a big fuss of us if we do well somewhere and pours wine and delivers sympathy when it doesn't. I would not be someone who would deal well with having an 'entourage'. I'd find it distracting (I like quiet time to run through my test etc) and a bit pressurising. Nice to have friends come along and support and have a drink and a nice day out but to me that is different. I see some riders wth teams - mother, brother, great uncle Cuthbert with his ear trumpet and great aunty Enid with her flagon of gin, giggling/sulking teenagers that 'so don't wanna be there' and 15 rabid jack russells. Personally enough motivation to leave the start box and never return

Good post BD!

 

[Chloe_GHE]

1) I expect Soap to pull out a clear xc at intro/pn level maybe picking up a few time faults. I expect a top half dressage result, and I expect the SJ to be by far our weakest phase and knock us out of all contention

If he has a bad day xc (only 1 last year due to a virus) it's devastating and really knocks me, if he does a bad dressage I blame myself and if he does a good SJ I thank god!

I have long term expectations to be able to get him to at least Novice, but I know we have to really improve our sjing/dressage to get there.

2) well alll previous trainers (until last sunday!) have humoured me and I've not really felt thay have 'taken me on' as a serious amatuer who really wants to learn and improve. It's early days with Amanda but I think her instruction will be very clear and if I have any objections/questions she will be able to explain her reason for doing something ot not. I'm more lead by my trainers at sj and dressage and generally work from my own knowledge xc coz that's my forte

4) I think I do expect alot of help from my mother not financial but time and effort wise. She is a HUGE help and I am indebted to her but at times I do forget to let her know this and feel guilty and make up for it. I think I expect her to be an ear for me, not so much point out what to do to improve but to talk over what I think and be my sounding board. Jeeeze just reading that poor mum what a load of nonsense she has to put up with! Will get her a box of chocs on my way home

Oh and I expect my nonhorsey OH to just put up with all the time and money I spend on my hobby and also me dressed like a horsey tramp and smelling of horse most of the time, and at times I also bully him into coming along! Maybe I'll pick up some beer too!

 

[KatB]

[ QUOTE ]
It must be that time of year as I'm generally not prone to this degree of navel-gazing, but a few things have happened in Baydale Land to prompt this post - nothing exciting, just a few curve balls.

:

In a nutshell, and bear with me as "vague" isn't always "delightful",

I would like to know your thoughts on:

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?

3. Your owner(s): or should that be more their expectations of you? But what are you expecting from them?

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?

Over to you, feel free to make your replies as light-hearted or serious as you like, but not too many cryptic ones please - I really can't be bothered with them after spending too much time on Facebook lately.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm, very interesting one!!

1, I expect my horse to respond to the questions I ask in a genuine way, and the improve at a reasonable rate to the amount of work I put in. I have long term goals, but experience (and probably lack of courage in my convictons) means I don't have rigid short team goals, but small steps realistic (I hope) to the stage we are at at any given point...

2, This is a difficult one for me. I would never ask an instructor to plan my season, etc, but would ask their judgement to whether they would think I would be ready to do X by X stage. I am used to being independant, and this is probably my downfall...

3, N/A!!

4, Again, see the "independant" statement. I don't have any "expectations" of friends (which is the only one that qualifies there!!). I am exceedingly greatful for any help anyone offers, but would never "expect" anything. In return I try to return any help and support.

I do find friends are excellent sounding boards sometimes, and would like to think I can return the favour

Crikey, that was a bit long, and has given me a bit to think about actually!!

 

[millitiger]

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.

Pilfer- i expect his jumping to be spot on- if we don't D/C round PN i have done something seriously wrong.
his dressage can be hit and miss. i used to get really frustrated and upset but not anymore as i have faced the fact sometimes he does a sub-30, sometimes he head twitches.

Millie- few expectations at the moment. main aim is to not have any mareish moments out competing.
saying that, i was really low after a bad run at Moreton Morrell last season, even though she is only 5 i had gotten used to her flying around inside the time.

Vinnie- no expectations at the moment as too young!
walking in a straight line would be an achievement for him at the moment!

long term expectations- i want to be competent and confident at Intermediate. both younger horses show the scope so it is up to me to get their brains to match!

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?

don't actually have a regular instructor and haven't for about 4 years

tend to do 2 or 3 clinics a year with different trainers; i like to pick and choose what we do at home although would love a regular jump trainer.

3. Your owner(s): or should that be more their expectations of you? But what are you expecting from them?

no owners anymore. most of the horses i rode for other people were young/problem horses.
the only thing i expected was people to pay on time and tell the truth about the horse's history- soon realised i expected too much!

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?

my mum is a huge help. she helps at the yard one day a week, comes to all events etc.
she can't actually do anything apart from hold them but it is just nice to have someone there i can talk out loud to while i sort things out in my head!

no other help, makes it pretty tough sometimes with 3 horses and a fulltime job but if i didn't have them i would be rich and bored

 

[Halfstep]

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.

I've learned, after a few years of bad luck, that expectations of horses tend to lead to disappointment. If I've learned anything recently, I've learned to accept what the horse is able to give. It is difficult when you know the horse is talented but injury gets in the way. I've learned not to expect anything at all - then I will be happy when things do go well. This doesn't stop me from making plans. I suppose I now don't let my achievement of them or not dictate how I feel day to day.

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?

A mixture of both really. A good trainer should chime with the values of the rider, and help them achieve their goals in a way that they are comfortable with. I have a sporadic trainer who I go to when I can; he's very ambitious and thinks highly of my horse. But I don't see him often enough for him to understand all the issues. I take from him what I think I need. I also have a regular trainer who knows me and my horse inside out. She I think is someone whom I would allow to influence my expectations in a real way.

3. Your owner(s): or should that be more their expectations of you? But what are you expecting from them?

I'm the owner now, but I have ridden for owners. owners are tricky beasts. They often expect a lot more than you or the horse are able to provide. As a rider, I would expect support, that they would allow me the room to make the decisions needed to be made as the rider, and some professional respect. And if I mess up, I fully expect them to move the ride on if they want to.

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?
I suppose if they offer to help I expect them to actually help, not to stand around moaning. But I don't expect much. Help with bandages and maybe to read a test, hold my jacket if its hot warming up, keep me company in the lorry. That's about it. I certainly don't expect them to be an emotional punching bag if things go pear shaped.

 

[Joss]

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.

Obviously I have different expectations of different horses but my main criteria has always been that I like a horse to continue to improve. I dont mind if this progress is slow nor what level it is at, i.e jumping 75cm &amp; progressing to 85cm the next week/month or going from Novice to Intermediate. But I struggle to find the necessary 'kick' from riding a horse that has reached its 'level'. I just couldnt/wouldnt ride the same horse round Intro for 5 years. Although I am more than happy to compete at Intro even Riding Club level. I would rather sell it on.....

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?

I have my own agenda but mainly because I dont currently have a trainer that knows me well enough to offer constant advise. I will always be keen to have my trainers opinion &amp; follow their advise on which stair to climb but I wouldnt let them advise me which staircase to climb

3. Your owner(s): or should that be more their expectations of you? But what are you expecting from them?

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?

My owners are my parents so its a fine dividing line. As they are both very knowledgable &amp; experienced I would be daft not to follow their advise &amp; be aware of what they expect. The huge advantage is that they brought me up with their way of thinking as far as horses are concerned so we are normally on the same wave length. That said: I have my own ideas &amp; they come first but I will always take into account what they want.........
They expect 100% dedication to my horses &amp; me to always ride to the best of my ability. They do not expect me to be winning every week. But would question things if I NEVER got placed. In return I expect moral support at all times &amp; monetary support occasionally!!

When location allows my parents are also my helpers but more normally my helper is my OH &amp; likewise I am his helper. When I can actually drag him away from his work he is very good &amp; we fully agree 98% of the time

 

[FigJam]

Overall, I pretty much agree with everything millipops said!

Esp;

"If things don't go to plan, it's usually my fault. I have higher expectations of myself - I put a lot of pressure on myself, tend to dwell on mistakes and give all credit for successes to the horse "

1. I am a one-horse, amateur owner/rider. I keep my horse as a hobby and for fun and so my expectations of her/us as a partnership reflect that. I want us to do ourselves proud (and not scare ourselves silly!

) when we go out and so always make the effort to ensure we are as prepared as possible for whatever it is we're doing. She is a very genuine horse who enjoys her jumping, so if something goes wrong there, 99% likely it's rider issue. When it comes to dressage, neither of us particularly enjoy it, so a more even split of "blame" when it goes wrong there I reckon!

She had a spate of injuries when I first got her, so every day/week/month/year that she's sound is a blessing!

She's also 18 years old, so I have to take into account what she is happy doing and not just what I want to do. Luckily she's still full of beans and happy doing what I want to do kust now. Long may it continue!

2. I don't have regular instruction, but I try get as much training as I can afford time/money wise. Over the last couple of years I've gone to a number of clinics and lessons with various trainers and now have an idea of who I learnt most from/who's style I like best etc. I make my own plans/goals/ambitions but will always ask their opinion. Do they think my plans are realistic? Am I aiming too high/too low? What would they advise having seen us in action? I'll take on board what they say and balance it against how I feel. Some times I need a kick up the bum and told "of course you can do that" and sometimes I need a "whoa, steady up"!

3. N/A! Probably a blessing and a curse?! Must get so stressful having to worry about additional people and what they want/expect.

4. Mr FigJam is incredibly patient and tolerant of my horsey obsession. He happily trails around a high proportion of my competitions (all important camera in tow!

) and is hugely supportive of us- whether we do well or not. I definitely would miss his support. I don't think he has any expectations that are different to mine.

My parents are non-horsey, but make a real effort to support me and come along to watch, even sent a well done card after our first ever BE placing!

I've been lucky to experience the advice and support of some lovely horsey folk from this forum over the last year too.

 

[meardsall_millie]

Blimey Baydale - a bit deep for a Thursday? (Hope a 'deep' weekend doesn't follow!)

1) Expectation-wise, I will set loose targets for the end of the season with milestones along the way (can you tell my job title has 'Strategic' in it?!) then will adjust and amend as necessary. If things don't go to plan I will be disappointed short term but, having allowed myself a sulk or tantrum, will then get over it, put some plans in place and move on. Like Joss though, I'm looking for constant improvement and if it looks like we're going to be stuck at a level indefinitely will do something more proactive about it.

2) I've fairly recently found an instructor who I've clicked with, and who has actually become a pretty decent mate (but don't tell her). As above, I would generally set my own plans but would hope these have come about following discussions with her.

3) Owners - Don't have any and don't really want any - this is supposed to be fun and the pressure would spoil it for me.

4) No expectations of anyone other than myself really. OH usually comes along to shows and for that I'm grateful. Will sometimes have friends come to help and again I really appreciate this - I expect them to enjoy themselves, to not feel obliged to do it, and to give me constructive criticism/kick up the bum/a hug at the relevant moment.

So where did all this come from then Mrs?

 

[AutumnRose]

1. Expectations of my horse. Hmmmmm well i expect him to behave and respond to me in a way which demonstrates the time i have put into him. I can count on one hand the times i he has genuinely let the side down. I've learnt to accept that things rarely go to plan i think, tbh, that is a disadvantage. I want things to go well but don't expect them to. Therefore i very much relish every stolen moment of success.
Having said that i think the above refers to eventing and show jumping. I have very high expectations of myself and B in dressage. I expect over 60% at all times, over 65% at BE and to be in the top third if not quarter after dressage.
This season i expect to consolidate at intro and move up to PN although i'm going to stop putting pressure on myself to do it by a certain time of year or event.

2. My instructor/trainer. I'm very lucky in that i have a fantastic trainer who is also one of my best friends. I trust her judgement and always take her advice. However, i make my own aims and plans and tell her as and when. She will tell me if i'm way off the mark or she thinks something is a good idea, conversely she'll also give me a kick up the bum and tell me to get on with it when need be.

3. No owners

4. As i said above i'm very lucky to have help from my friend/trainer and when she's not off games growing babies she is a fantastic help at events. My OH has started to come to a lot of events with me since i got my own transport and, although totally unhorsey, is good at telling me how small fences are/how lovely B looks, how well we did/being a shoulder to cry on and pouring wine as appropriate and i am very grateful for his help and support. I have also discovered that i put much less pressure on myself when just OH and i go to competitions, as he's not horsey i have nothing to prove/show/explain to him and find myself much more relaxed

Gosh that was long!!!!!!

 

[Gamebird]

Gosh, I think that your post is something of a curveball in itself! I'm really not sure that I enjoy being asked to think so much on a Thursday afternoon. Especially not whilst trying to eat lunch simultaneously.

1. My expectations are similar to Joss I think. I always like to think that there is a higher step on the ladder and expect to reach it. When it became apparent that there were no more steps left for Carthorse I lost interest a bit. Not meeting my expectations affects me hugely. I get very, very disappointed. Then a wee bit bitter...

. If I have a fault (highly unlikely!

) it's that I set my expectations slightly too high, inevitably fail to meet them' then become hugely disappointed in myself as a consequence.

2. I am not completely led by my trainer - I don't see them often enough! I set my own schedule but appreciate being able to bounce ideas off them, will often run my plans past them and would listen if they told me that a certain event or class was a step too far.

3. No owners. Wouldn't mind one who paid the bills but had minimal hands-on input and suitably low expectations!

4. I very rarely have help. Once a year (or thereabouts) my husband comes with me, usually under duress. He'll do bits and pieces but I try not to ask him to do too much. Occasionally a friend comes to help and I feel very guilty about asking them to do things. I think I'd feel better about it if I paid them! Plus I'm so used to doing things myself and my own way now that it has become very difficult to watch someone do it a different (but not incorrect) way. I do very much enjoy the company driving/course walking etc. though.

Hope that's not too cryptic!

 

[MagicMelon]

1. My expectations change year on year, as we achieve goals then I keep setting new ones! I achieved the "big" goal last year doing a CIC*. I've been very lucky in that things have gone to plan so far... (touch wood).

2. I have my own agenda. I used to get monthly jumping lessons but cant afford it at the moment. I guess I'd find someone to fit my agenda.

3. No owners.

4. No expectations of my help. My mum has been extremely supportive and is always with me at events unless she really can't be. She's probably ideal as a helper because she knows exactly what jobs are hers and what are mine! She never argues and never tells me I'm crap but will tell me little things like reminding me to look up!

 

[daisycrazy]

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.

Normally - I expect progress. Can't see the point otherwise. I expect them to perform well at competitions - extenuating circumstances taken into account. I expect a good degree of consistency in performance, because I can't put all my time and money into (and revolve my life and my mum's and OH's lives around) something completely unpredictable. If my horse is genuine but has a problem, I find it upsetting but get on with sorting it out. If my horse really is not genuine, there's a limited amount I will put up with before selling. If I am the problem, that is most depressing.

Now - I have no expectations and am pleased with everything. This has been due to my horse making a miraculous recovery from a broken neck and is currently due to both that and being pregnant! No eventing for me this year.

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?

I set my own expectations and goals. I don't have lessons/training very often so could not rely on somebody else to set them for me. I do expect my trainer to tell me if (and why) they think I'm aiming too high, too low, too fast or too slow.

3. Your owner(s): or should that be more their expectations of you? But what are you expecting from them?

N/A, but the only time I did ride for an "owner" (read "friend"), I really enjoyed it. But then, I wasn't being paid so not so much pressure on that front. I was partnering a very beloved horse, though, so there was undoubtedly some pressure. I just did my best, but curiously felt less pressured than I do competing my own.

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?

A lot of the time, I do things on my own, whether at home or competitions. My non-horsey OH is gradually becoming more useful at competitions and is really very tolerant about competition moods! My mum has had enough of the whole circus but loves my horse as much as I do and helps me if I need it. I actually find I manage myself better when on my own. The only thing that annoys about a helper (my OH) is when they video me and spend most of the time recording the sky! Apart from that, I try to take responsibility for timing, equipment, tacking up, etc., and don't get cross if somebody makes a mistake on the basis that it is ultimately my responsibility.

 

[Worried1]

1. Your horse(s): what your expectations are and how it affects you if things don't quite go to plan.
Diva - I hope that she will compete Advanced Medium this year. That she does not have a reaction like she suffered last year - it was a really worrying time.
This winter she has remained rideable on Regumate and has produced some lovely work. I hope this continues.
As soon as the baby is born I want to get back on and compete her as she is going so well I am itching to get on with her (as much as I adore Finn Diva is like driving a ferrari and I miss the feel she gives

).
If she becomes a moo - well Mr Worried can continue the ride

Finn - I love my little Ford Ka of the equine world

I want to carry on riding for as long as I can. He is 14 now and my main want is that he stays sound and healthy. I worry about him being older and he is about the same age as Hillock was when he broke his leg as so the old demos niggle away... If he breaks - I'll be devastated but will try and mend him or worse case make him comfie. He has a home for ever with us whatever! It will be great to continue doing some prelims and novice tests and get myself back riding.
Blitz - Can he stay out of trouble? I hope so. He is more mature now and has a better idea of self-preservation and is avoiding fences and things that he can wrap himself round!
Agin hope he comes out solidly at Medium and is Advanced Medium by the end of the year.
Ron - I want him to stop growing!!!!!!!

2. Your instructor/trainer: are you completely led by them and set your expectations accordingly, or do you have your own agenda and find someone suitable to fit in with that?
We mix and match and have found a mix which suits us well. We train regularly at home and make use of other trainers away from home. This tends to help us work the horses in an alien environment so helping us when we compete.

3. Your owner(s): or should that be more their expectations of you? But what are you expecting from them?
We have a fantastic group of owners and some lovely horses - I hope that we make them happy and provide them with the service and level of training that best suits them.

4. Your "help", whether that be OH/friends/hired hands?
We have an amazing full-time groom who I am so grateful for putting up with us! A fab working-pupil whose happiness is infectious. Added to which an amazing dad - who doubles as handyman, maintenance man, delivery and collection driver, mechanic the list is endless. A MIL and FIL who are catering and gardeing specialists. They do and do amazing food for us at competitions and at home and do our hanging baskets and pots! They also sponsor equipment such a new wheelbarrows, feed buckets, etc

 

[deskbound]

Well well well. As I am struggling with my brownies, perhaps this will exercise my brain cells sufficiently to kick the hunger pangs into 'eat' again!

1. Expectation is a dreadful thing. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received is not to commit myself to an outcome but to enjoy the process. Right now, for me, that's trying 101 horses and finding nothing right..... So, I would expect that at some point this year I'll own 4 legs that I like (and aren't retired ). I used to be very plan-oriented, it'll be interesting to see whether I've chilled out a bit in my old, not riding full time, age.....

2. I've worked with a number of peeps, with a range of experiences. IMHO the most important thing a good trainer can give you is the confidence and education to pick your own goals, spot your own mistakes, rebuild your own confidence. Advice is great - I think Joss said about choosing the stairs not the staircase - would second that.

3. Limited experience, but honesty about expectations, limitations and realistic goals would be major pluses!!

4. Anyone coming along should have a nice day, and have a smile on their face. Oh, and I'm another one for no "CC" as you go along.... you can't change it, just focus on the next bit and see how it goes....

Right. I'm hungry again now!

 

[Baydale]

Thanks everyone, I knew you wouldn't disappoint me.

I was just curious as to how similar, as Competition Riders, our mindsets are. Occasionally I sit here, mouth agape, when something is posted, and it just got me thinking whether there are a lot of us alike and just the odd ("odd" being the operative word

) person that views things from a completely different perspective, irrespective of age, experience and outside influences.

Obviously I personalised this as all the points I mentioned are relevant to my situation currently, but it's been really interesting finding out more about you all and what makes you tick competitively, so thanks for that.

It was particularly interesting that this has prompted Chloe_GHE to buy presents for her OH and her mum, that ISZ assumed I'd been drinking, m_m thinks I've had a life-changing moment and Gamebird assumes my body has been occupied by aliens and it's consequently giving her indigestion.

Maybe part of the point of this, albeit subconsciously, was to consider the selfish aspects of being competitive - I mean where does "focused" end and and "selfish" begin?

How open are we on here or do we play the competitive game with each other?

Perhaps I'm just picking your brains so I can improve my own performance...?

Whatever, I promise that normal pink and fluffy Baydale - or should that be green and slimy, a la Kermit - will return shortly.

 

[icestationzebra]

You didn't deny you had been drinking......

I think there is a lot of 'only posting what you want people to know' and playing competitive games. I think it's a bit pointless to be honest - I learn more from people who are honest enough to admit they might be having problems or ask for advice. Lots of gloating posts about how well 'Serge' is jumping, just got sponsorship from Coca Cola, 'I may as well give it all up now because Massimo isn't quite through in his left pirouettes...' I find a bit dull to be honest. Not saying any of them shouldn't be on here but they tend to be the ones that I don't read. I don't post loads but then thats mostly because I don't have anything interesting to say

Note: Picked random horse names to avoid offending. If your horse is called Serge or Massimo I'm sorry!

(p.s if you do, I'd love to hear from you

)

 

[kit279]

Wow Baydale, this is very 'vaguebooking' of you

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Vaguebooking&amp;defid=3736098

I hope all is well with you and yours and that this is just a 'nearly the weekend but not quite' kind of post..

I have ambitions to be a better rider and to help my horse get better. I have lots of ambitions professionally but they are totally dependent on me and how hard I work therefore the limiting factor is me and my decision-making process. However, my lovely horse is not a machine and introduces the 3rd party element which means that it's not just up to me, like any 'marriage'!!! He hasn't outgrown me, I haven't outgrown him and he's not a seller so he'll stay. Nor am I under pressure to get rid being pretty financially independent as of now. I would feel differently if I had a young horse, I think, or one that would be happier and better with another rider.

My trainer is properly fab, she's a friend and a good one at that. I don't agree with everything but I agree with enough for it to be a happy and fruitful collaboration. She would never push me unless I asked for it but she's happy to give me a well deserved boot up the derriere if required.

I plan to be an owner myself in the future. I want to see my rider achieve what she's capable of and to have some fun and live vicariously using someone else's cojones..

If the horse can't/won't do it, I'll appreciate my rider's honesty and candour, nothing more.

OH is a rock and a pain in the backside occasionally but it's a working relationship and I'd struggle to find another man who can ride, can teach me, can cope with the smell of mud and horse pee, doesn't pressure me to get a mortgage and have 2.5 children and is happy with the cost of a Butet (the actual cost not the doctored man-acceptable cost!). We have a lot of heated discussions about how best to do things but we're on the same side and that really counts when you're eventing, having someone to help you out. I might feel differently if I had a few like-minded friends who did the job better than him, but I don't - all my old friends are moving with their respective hedge funds to Geneva to avoid tax at the mo

So like everything in life, these things are a give and a take. And a little bird told me that my favourite film star crush is violently allergic to horses so I guess that's not a goer

 

[jumptoit]

I don't expect a lot from my horse now, having had a miserable stopping phase that we've only just come out the other side off (I hope!), it started in June/July time, I don't expect a lot of her, I'm happy if we get round and have fun and achieve 50% in a dressage test which I think is reasonable considering she's had a few double clears and placings!

I am taught my several people being in pony club and have one main trainer but I see my lessons more as improving my horse and my riding than working towards a specific aim.

My helpers/owners are my parents and they don't expect anything of me but like to see me do well for myself.

I have changed my attitude to competing recently and would just like to spend my last 2 seasons at home having fun. I am the sort of person who sets their aims pessimistically anyway as I would rather achieve them than just miss them, that said I ended up completing all last years aims in my first event!

 

[Baydale]

ISZ - I'm at work so honestly, I haven't been.

Agree re the glowing posts, they're not that interesting unless the result of lots of angst and problem-solving that we've been party to. But then this is a good place for a bit of subtle self-promotion, isn't it?

And why do you think of glamorous names for other imaginary horses yet mine gets called Fuzzy Felt?

Mind you, Baydale Massimo doesn't have much of a Yorkshire ring to it.

kit - you've been on Facebook haven't you?

It's funny that I'm being teased for being deep(ish) and thoughtful; I'll revert to shallow and frivolous if you like, much more my style?

Thanks for your insight though, and for a new word for my vocabulary: I don't think "cojones" is used nearly enough in polite company, do you?