Family expecting me to help with other family members horse

[Gloi]

I destroyed the tendons in my ankle and was heavily reliant on my husband to do everything, including my horse, for 18 months.

How are you now? Just asking because I wrecked the tendons that stabilise the foot about 6 years ago and despite taking care keep reinjuring them . Sadly spent most of last summer unable to ride except at walk with no stirrups.

 

[conniegirl]

How are you now? Just asking because I wrecked the tendons that stabilise the foot about 6 years ago and despite taking care keep reinjuring them . Sadly spent most of last summer unable to ride except at walk with no stirrups.

I had an operation to reconstruct the tendons as my ankle kept collapsing, honestly it was the best thing i did. Had a few months physio after, rode in very very supportive boots for year or so and had to rebuild all the strength in my leg to allow me to keep my heel down whilst riding.

I had the operation in april 2018, But now other than the scar and a little bit of aching when i wear silly high heels you would never know i had damaged it at all.

 

[Sossigpoker]

Is there any update on this from OP?
I hope everything is OK?

 

[GSD Woman]

I have to admit I wondered about the shower fall too. I had my big, honking V-8 4 wheel drive run me over and that didn't break any bones. Granted, I was lucky that the ground was soft and it ran over my upper thighs when I was rather overweight but still.
The broken leg person needs to pay for help, send the horse on or sent it to a trainer to fix the nastiness. No need for a family member to do squat. Keep saying NO and giving no excuses.

 

[Gingerwitch]

I agree.

When my older brother broke his ankle (well, it wasn't quite broken) I told him not to drive with it because I could just see him getting into a bigger mess than he was already in. He did try to, but soon gave that up. It was a huge bore really to have to go over there, take him to the supermarket (because he didn't trust me to find what he wanted) then take him home again, but the situation wasn't dangerous. (He didn't kick.) I wouldn't want to take on the care of a horse who I simply didn't feel safe around.

Trying to drive with damaged legs could be seen as you not being in proper control of a motor vehicle and invalidate your insurance.

 

[Keith_Beef]

I agree with other posters: no.

Never mind the danger of the horse being likely to try to kick you, if you don't want to drive that distance just to put cream on its legs, that's train enough.

The idea of a roster where every family member helps out send good, but they'll all say "I don't know anything about horses" or "my dogs/kids/elderly neighbors take up all time already".

Your relative needs to stump up the cash to pay somebody (preferably on the yard) to apply the cream. There will definitely be somebody prepared to do it, or maybe two people to work together, it's simply a question of money.

This thread is a good reminder to all of us to check our insurance policies to find out what cover we have (if any) for taking care of our animals if we're temporarily incapacitated. Your relative should do that today.

 

[Flicker]

OP you are perfectly within your rights to refuse to have anything to do with this horse. I know someone who was kicked in the face by a horse she was helping the owner with. We didn’t know if she would survive, or be incapacitated permanently. Fortunately she made a full recovery, but it took months and months. She’s self-employed and insurance etc during that time was a nightmare. Just don’t do it.

 

[maisie06]

My answer would be two words on beginning with F the other shorter one with O. and that would be the end of it.

 

[AmyMay]

Presumably you’ve reached a decision/compromise now.

 

[sport horse]

I broke my femur and was on crutches for 15 months as it would not heal. My husband and friends and family managed the horses ( and prevented me from trying to do them!) I would always return the compliment for anyone stuck.

However if one is dangerous/you are frightened of it then I would abolutely come clean and say 'I am very sorry but your horse frightens me and I do not feel able to look after it so please make another arrangement' . Be blunt and honest - they may not like you but it is much better than skirting around the problem and making up stories.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I broke my femur and was on crutches for 15 months as it would not heal. My husband and friends and family managed the horses ( and prevented me from trying to do them!) I would always return the compliment for anyone stuck.

However if one is dangerous/you are frightened of it then I would abolutely come clean and say 'I am very sorry but your horse frightens me and I do not feel able to look after it so please make another arrangement' . Be blunt and honest - they may not like you but it is much better than skirting around the problem and making up stories.

There is nothing to make up,though, and no-one has suggested that she should. The horse is simply too far away from OP to fit it in with her own horse and the rest of her life.

 

[Gloi]

I had an operation to reconstruct the tendons as my ankle kept collapsing, honestly it was the best thing i did. Had a few months physio after, rode in very very supportive boots for year or so and had to rebuild all the strength in my leg to allow me to keep my heel down whilst riding.

I had the operation in april 2018, But now other than the scar and a little bit of aching when i wear silly high heels you would never know i had damaged it at all.
View attachment 85253

That's interesting. I think I really should investigate having mine operated on but not during covid . At the moment I get by with always wearing tightly laced hiking boots (even now sat on the sofa ?)

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

Don’t do it! Look what happened to me when I helped a mate to catch in. 3 months off work.

 

[Mary3050]

I'm a bit mystified by the whole thing, I had three months in a sort of soft splint and crutches, I was still able to drive a car, shop, etc etc. I think horse was out, 24/7 but I checked him every day.
I have not had a broken leg, but I don't think it means she can't do anything for eight weeks, obviously things take longer to do, and if the horse is aggressive she needs to do something about that rather than expecting others to look after it.
I, too am a bit cynical about slipping in the shower, how easy is it to break a leg, I have had a large number of falls, only one kept me off work, just because I could not drive.

She has a pot (plaster cast ) on her leg . So I think it’s a case of she can’t get it wet or muddy . I also noticed when I nipped to drop some feed off for the horse . The riders hat and body protector was covered in friend mud . I thought why would you clean it off if it got dirty . Her way of sorting it is to treat it all the time and it’s not that bad with her although has bitten and kicked owner .

 

[Mary3050]

I spent over 6 months with4 metal rings round/in my leg after breaking it in October 2020.I was advised not to go outside any more than absolutely necessary in cold weather because it would affect the metal. I don't really think that we can criticise the relative for not being able to do her own horse, she might not be allowed to weight-bear on the leg, who knows? What we can say is that she should ask the YO to deal with the horse, leg and all - and be prepared to pay for the service.

YO is now doing the horse for a fee but she won’t do any more ie cream on as the horse is a kicker

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

She has a pot (plaster cast ) on her leg . So I think it’s a case of she can’t get it wet or muddy . I also noticed when I nipped to drop some feed off for the horse . The riders hat and body protector was covered in friend mud . I thought why would you clean it off if it got dirty . Her way of sorting it is to treat it all the time and it’s not that bad with her although has bitten and kicked owner .

Do you mean that she is not the horse's owner? Why can't the owner deal with the horse's legs,then?

 

[SO1]

I totally understand that the owner of the horse is probably really worried about the mud fever.

If the YO won't do it as the horse is known to be a kicker then I suggest you pop round round to see your relative and explain in person that the problem not that you don't want to help her but the the horse is a kicker and that nobody can risk getting kicked by the horse.

If she is really worried about mud fever then perhaps getting some 7 day mud away spray and some sedation from the vet and seeing if someone will spray it on once a week whilst the horse is sedated. Muddy marvel cream also only needs to be applied once a week. It would be an expensive way of doing this but if she is desperate vet sedation once a week to put on cream.

YO is now doing the horse for a fee but she won’t do any more ie cream on as the horse is a kicker

 

[Mary3050]

Do you mean that she is not the horse's owner? Why can't the owner deal with the horse's legs,then?

She is the owner the by rider I meant her riding gear

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

She is the owner the by rider I meant her riding gear

???

 

[Keith_Beef]

???

All her posts seem to be a struggle with predictive text.

 

[Gloi]

All her posts seem to be a struggle with predictive text.

Yes. I find it hard to decode what she means at times

 

[Keith_Beef]

Yes. I find it hard to decode what she means at times

I find predictive text to be a right pain in the backside when I post from my phone, which is why so many of my posts have been edited. Like this one.

 

[McFluff]

My personal view is that every horse owner has a responsibility to have a back up care plan just in case something happens that means you can’t take care of the horse yourself. That back up plan should not be guilt tripping relatives into providing free care. The harsh reality is that our hobby is expensive so we need to plan and budget (or insure) accordingly. OP your relative has failed to do this - you should feel no guilt about her failure, and should not be bullied into helping.
I would step in to help with a horse I knew and felt safe with - but for a few days while other arrangements were put in place. Weeks is not reasonable.
The fact that the horse is difficult adds a further layer to this. If you get injured your collective family would have multiple horses to look after. This is worth making very clear to those who feel you should help at your own expense… ask would they all club together to pay your costs if you get injured? Very unlikely.
I do feel for the poor horse though. It’s owner has let it down by not addressing the behaviour. Even horses that are sharper to ride should be trained well enough to be safe to handle.
To me, how she was injured is a red herring (unless of course it was a kick in the stable!). Even if her injury was from a fall, the horse should be well enough trained to be handled safely by others on the ground. Hopefully this experience will give her the motivation to improve her horse‘s behaviour.

And I’m another who hates predictive text. Evil invention.

 

[Annagain]

Yes. I find it hard to decode what she means at times

My guess:

"She has a pot (plaster cast ) on her leg . So I think it’s a case of she can’t get it wet or muddy. I also noticed when I nipped to drop some feed off for the horse that her riding hat and body protector was covered in fresh mud . I thought, "Why wouldn't you clean it off if it got dirty?" Her way of sorting it is to treat it all the time and it’s not that bad with her although has bitten and kicked owner."

I think OP is saying she doubts the relative's story too as the hat and BP were muddy and relative would have cleaned it off if she could have so the fact it's still muddy suggests something happened to prevent her from doing that. The relative's way of dealing with the horse's aggression is to give treats to distract / reward for good behaviour so the horse is better for her, although has still kicked and bitten her too.

OP - might this be an opportunity to get the horse to 'schooling' livery with a behaviour / ground work expert for a few weeks? That way, nobody has to do anyone any favours or anything they don't feel safe doing, your relative will have a more polite mare to handle when she's back on her feet but still a bit fragile and the poor horse will be helped to overcome her issues. Your relative is obviously paying YO for services so it probably wouldn't cost that much more to send the mare away. Depending where you are, I'm sure someone on here will have a fairly local recommendation for you.