Fed up and venting

[shanti]

I honestly don't know what I hope to achieve posting this. Possibly I just need to rant or someone to tell me what I should do And I'm sorry for the essay!

I have an Arab. He is 17, I have had him around 2 years and was new to the area so didn't know anyone around here at the time.
He was basically a blank canvas, only 3 rides under him. Two weeks after I got him he came down with laminitis, got the vet and farrier out and both knew him and told me of his multiple undisclosed issues including a shoulder injury, arthritis and ongoing laminitis. I was furious but, my fault for not getting a vet check. So I brought a paddock ornament. That's fine, he could be a companion horse.

I have tried so hard with him over the past 2 years but he's just so difficult. It's not his fault, I suspect he has been mishandled and treated badly at some point but I just can't get anywhere with him. He is constantly stressed, terrified of everything, hates being handled. He's not dangerous at all, just permanently tense. He is hard to catch, wash and needs vet sedation to float. He seems to tolerate me but anyone else is a threat.

I'm ok with all of that and would happily just leave him be but now he has started to really bully my 6yo Standardbred. Today I went to saddle him up and he has bite and kick Mark's all over his back and sides. The Arab has always been a prat to him but never like this, usually he just threatens and chases him off but this is very new. The Standy is the only one he is like this to, the other horse in with them both is an aged TB who is the paddock boss and apart from telling them both off when they annoy him, he just stays out of things.

So I have seperated the Arab from the others but this can't be a long term solution. Even though he is in the ajoining paddock he gets so stressed on his own and last time he was confined with laminitis he developed ulcers and various injuries from trying to get to the others.

I'm just at my wits end with him. I love him but it's just not enjoyable and I was so upset today that I had a cry and childishly wished he would just run away, then I felt horribly guilty and cried some more

Now I'm drinking Gin and really just needed to vent as my non horsey husband just doesn't understand why I don't just sell him and get a nicer one.

 

[SantaVera]

Have him put to sleep, he sounds like he'll never be chilled and happy. You and your other horse deserve a decent life and you're not getting that at the moment. I say again, PTS and don't even think twice about it and definitely don't beat yourself up about this.

 

[AmyMay]

Put him down. Problem solved.

 

[cauda equina]

He doesn't sound very sellable tbh
He's making you miserable and it doesn't sound as if he's happy either; pts wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen to him
I've been there with a horse you wish would just evaporate and it's awful. Have a hug xxx

 

[YourValentine]

Could you put him with the aged TB if he doesn't bully him and separate the Standard bred?
It might settle the herd dynamics and make your life easier.

I have been in your position- 3 horses 2 lovely, the third a constant stress and worry. Upsetting me and the other 2. Like you we'd tried everything to help him, give him a decent life and it made no difference and everyone was miserable.

Having him pts was difficult but the biggest relief for everyone.

He doesn't sound like a happy horse unfortinately. You have given him 2 years of good care, and a happy retirement. PTS might be the last kindness you can do for him unfortunately.

 

[AWinter]

He sounds like he’s in chronic pain

 

[Highmileagecob]

Do you think he may have been late gelded, hence blank canvass at 15y.o? You have given him two good years, and this situation is going to get worse. At 17y.o. he is not going to change his attitude, and you really have to step back and put yourself first. Is he sellable, in all honesty? No one will blame you in the slightest if you call it a day with him. I think his previous owners probably felt like you do now, and were glad to see the back of him.

 

[SEL]

One of my toughest realisations with horses was that you can't fix them all.

I bought my land 3 years ago and it came with a poorly handled pretty feral pony. I was hopeful he could stay as a companion but it became obvious very quickly his attitude to people made him a challenge to be around. I had him put down. A couple of days before the vet was due out he tweaked something in the field and we couldn't even safely examine him. Even doped up to the eyeballs the vet couldn't get near his back legs

He was 17 and should have been a nice pony for someone and I feel sad he didn't get that chance. Having him put down was the right answer for me and him at that time though - never, ever and easy call but your boy sounds like he's telling you he's in pain and we do have to put ourselves and the safety of those around us first too.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

He's not sellable unless you go bin-end who will mis-sell him on. He's miserable. Probably in constant pain. Always on edge/tense which is very difficult for a horse to tolerate. He's making other horses miserable. PTS is not just a way out for you - it's actually better for him and the other horses too. Selling would be the WORST option - all but guaranteeing a succession of homes until someone else makes the ethical, compassionate choice for him.

Sorry you are in this situaiton.

 

[Jenko109]

I'm another who would PTS. No question.

I suspect this horse is in pain which would account for why his behaviour towards your other horse has escalated.

 

[Peglo]

I feel so sorry for you. It sounds like a really tough situation to be in and you can tell how stressful it is reading your post.
I’m another who would not judge you in the slightest if you decided PTS was your best option. He does sound unhappy and you’re unhappy. Please don’t feel bad to consider it.

 

[MuddyMonster]

He's not sellable unless you go bin-end who will mis-sell him on. He's miserable. Probably in constant pain. Always on edge/tense which is very difficult for a horse to tolerate. He's making other horses miserable. PTS is not just a way out for you - it's actually better for him and the other horses too. Selling would be the WORST option - all but guaranteeing a succession of homes until someone else makes the ethical, compassionate choice for him.

Sorry you are in this situaiton.

Ditto this, sadly.

I think PTS would be the kindest thing for him, based on what you've written.

Big hugs to you as it's a difficult position to be in.

 

[Birker2020]

He sounds like he’s in chronic pain

I wondered that too.

 

[maya2008]

Every time I have seen a horse become aggressive to others, it’s been pain. I would pts.

 

[nutjob]

PTS is certainly not a wrong decision. Depending on what pain relief he is already on I might try putting him on bute or danilon to see if his behaviour improves if you are struggling with PTS atm.

 

[Above the snowline]

You have 3 choices. 1. Keep him and be miserable. 2. Sell/give away knowing he’s going to be miserable and most likely passed on many times. 3. Put him down .
Show your non horsey husband these posts and if needs be we can explain why we think putting him down is the kindest thing to do.

 

[shanti]

Thank you all for the replies. Just to be clear, I would never ever sell him, that's not even an option, hence my husband not having a clue lol.

I have done as much testing as I can with him, tried medication, herbal remedies, the physio basically said he is a mess and suspects an accident, possibly in a float which might explain his total fear of them. Further tests would mean taking him to the equine hospital and he just wouldn't cope, I would absolutely do that if I thought he could manage it.
I just feel so sorry for him
I admit I have considered PTS but the vet seems to think he is field sound and told me to just let him go feral.... I can't really morally do that either.

 

[SantaVera]

Letting him go feral is not a kindness. Your vet is not being helpful at all, what a ridiculous things for the vet to have suggested. It's difficult enough as it is deciding what to do without a professional putting forward ideas like this. There are not enough sensible old fashioned vets around anymore to give proper rational advice.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

Some vets are more helpful than others in these situations- some don’t want to raise PTS but if you said ‘I’m thinking of calling it a day’ they are very supportive. I had my daughter’s pony put down aged just 6 because she was clearly miserable- though not obviously in pain or lame or anything. I’ve also retired horses quite young but only if they are relaxed, happy, with a good quality of life. That does not apply here.

 

[AmyMay]

Thank you all for the replies. Just to be clear, I would never ever sell him, that's not even an option, hence my husband not having a clue lol.

I have done as much testing as I can with him, tried medication, herbal remedies, the physio basically said he is a mess and suspects an accident, possibly in a float which might explain his total fear of them. Further tests would mean taking him to the equine hospital and he just wouldn't cope, I would absolutely do that if I thought he could manage it.
I just feel so sorry for him
I admit I have considered PTS but the vet seems to think he is field sound and told me to just let him go feral.... I can't really morally do that either.

There’s nothing immoral putting an unhappy and aggressive horse down.

 

[ycbm]

Field sound only means not limping it doesn't mean pain free. He sounds as if he's in pain to me and I would PTS.

Sorry you are having to face this.
.

 

[cauda equina]

He might be field sound as in not unlevel but he does not sound field well, as in relaxed and happy
It's not your vet who is dealing with him from day to day - it's your decision to make
Although pts is always horrid (and it's easy for us on here to talk about it but I really really hate having to do it) you and your other horses might breathe a collective sigh of relief if he went

 

[Gloi]

I agree in PTS, however did you find why he had laminitis? Has he been tested for Cushing's . If you are keeping him I would have him tested.

 

[Flame_]

IIWY, I would want to be going to a good, pragmatic vet that you know and knows you, even if it means a trip out of the area. I'd want a realistic assessment of the horse as it is. If it's unsound, you either want a rehab strategy with a good chance of a positive outcome or you want telling straight if it's a lost cause.

I don't necessarily agree that the behavioural stuff is pain, sometimes horses are better at doing a job than they are at loitering in a field, but if you get confirmation from a reliable vet that this horse cannot stand up to work and you know he's a pita to have around not to do a ridden job, then I can't see you have any alternatives but to pts.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

He does sound pretty miserable I find with Arab's the don't tolerate pain like some horses and they don't forget easily either so everything becomes a learnt pattern.

Aggression towards other horses can often indicate pain and often ulcers can make them like that as well.

Have you had him tested for cushings?
Do you think the ulcers may have returned?

 

[IrishMilo]

I'd put him down as well. I reckon the relief you'll feel after would be massive.

 

[HopOnTrot]

It sounds like he is feeling unhappy, even just as a field ornament so I agree, let him go.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

It seems to me that this poor animal is in desperate need of someone to take responsibility for a pain-free future for him. That is what the previous owner should have done instead of selling him to you.
Now, I'm sorry to say it's time for you to step up and put an end to the pain that he is in. I'd consider finding a new vet, too.

 

[Identityincrisis]

He sounds like he is in pain or has ulcers again. If he’s constantly wired and on high alert the ulcers will be a constant battle and will undoubtedly reoccur.

I had a very aggressive horse (Anglo Arab) he had all kinds of tests but nothing was ever diagnosed. I suspect he was injured as a foal. He was awful to have around and could be very dangerous. He went bi-laterally lame eventually and i called it a day. The relief was immense (5year battle) but I can’t deny i still felt guilty. But neither of us were happy and he was completely unsellable

 

[MidChristmasCrisis]

Kindest thing for you both is put him down. It’s not a failure or cruel it’s the decision of a caring owner.