Fed up

[Mouse19]

Bit of a woe is me post, so if you aren’t into sympathy seeking this isn’t the thread for you.

I feel like banging my head up against a brick wall (although given yesterday’s performance by new horse, she would have happily done this for me)

I purchased my new horse 4 months ago. I knew the mare was a risky purchase, the owner was forthcoming with the fact she’s been difficult in the past and owner has had enough (can’t put up too much information in case they are on here…). The mare has settled in really well at the yard. She now lives out, having been stabled pretty much all the time due to her old owners lack of turnout. She’s settled well into the herd and isn’t clingy or displaying any signs of stress- I had been told she box walks/ field walks. I have been told by somebody that knew the horse that she had a field accident with her old owner (note this isn’t what the old owner said).

All work has been done super slowly she had her teeth and back done when she arrived and a full MOT from my vet plus the five stage with X-rays. She didn’t have much muscle tone despite being competed quite regularly. She’d been ridden in a double bridle on the flat, but I dropped her back into a snaffle as I want to compete her at a lower level BD and she needed to stretch over her back and work from behind – her neck is a little short and she works bum high in a double. I felt in the double that she was a bit fixed and not working properly through her back. The progress has been snail like and is frustrating, she’s had to learn to balance herself in all three paces whilst stretching and not being BTV and it’s been like riding Bambi on ice, to make matters worse she’s super spooky in the snaffle. I’m so tempted to put her back in the double but I know that would be cheating.

Hacking has been a whole other world of pain. Again the owners were forthcoming with the fact she’s not hacked for one reason or another, but I was presently surprised when she went out happily with a ‘nanny’ horse. She’s done a few quiet routes with the nanny horse and I felt yesterday would be a good time to take her on a quiet solo hack around the village taking circular a route she knows. This was a massive mistake, she was a nightmare the whole way around. Reared twice going off the drive, napped and span for ½ the route. Once she passed the ½ way point she didn’t nap but the whole experience wasn’t pleasant. So I need to re-think that plan.

I know that it’s early days and it’s going to take time but I feel like it’s one step forwards 3 steps backwards. I’ve worked with difficult horses in the past when I was a rider/groom but now I have a normal 9-5 job things are proving difficult. Coming into winter I’m confined to the school after work, some weekends I have to visit family up north so it can be weeks before I ride in the daylight/can go out. The nanny horse’s owner has been really kind coming out with me, she doesn’t work so normally ride during the day but has been coming up to ride after 17.00, but with winter coming she’ll go back to riding in the daylight and it'll be dark. I don’t want to move as the yard I’m on is the only one in the area that offers year round turn out and has school lights.

The way I’m feeling about her at the moment doesn’t make me want to ride and the thought of battling through winter makes me feel depressed. I know every horse takes time to settle in and I need to get to know her but I don’t feel I’ve made any progress in four months

Has anybody else experienced this? Does it get any better?

 

[Michen]

I absolutely feel your pain. I bought a project horse from Ireland and he has been so unbelievably complicated both physically and mentally. He was confidently hacking out on his own pre a break, he will now go out confidentially on the long reins (not back on board yet) so long as the two horses in his adjacent fields aren't in their fields (he has to go past them to go out hacking). Then he turns into an absolutely demon, rearing, fly bucking, spinning. The next day he will be a total pleasure, etc etc. It's so disheartening but I know this horse could/will be super, maybe not for me as probably too sharp but I will absolutely get him to the best place I can.

I also am battling daylight to try and nail the issue before it's too dark after work. Can you pay a pro to ride maybe once or twice a week and you hack both weekend days to get the hours done that she needs?

Don't be too disheartened, you've only tried to hack solo once, do your homework, lead her in hand or long rein her and get her confident doing that before you get back on for a solo hack. I cannot tell you how many tears of frustration I have and still do cry over my project, but I am learning so much through him.

 

[ycbm]

Lack of muscle tone. Ultra spooky. What is her breeding? It might be worth taking a look at PSSM symptoms of she has any heavy/QH/Alpaloosa/American Paint blood.

 

[milliepops]

I have got one that took ages to crack, like about 12 months - like you, I knew I was taking on a problem but it was still a bit of a surprise just how difficult she would be!

I would suggest sensitively taking the path of least resistance at this stage, so you can start to make some progress. So if she concentrates better in the double, pop it back for a month or 2 and see what you get. It sounds like you can distinguish between proper work and false work, so there's no reason to think you won't be able to achieve the correct basics with the double bridle - when mine make the switch to the double they stay in it even for easy stretching and it doesn't mean you're cheating

re the hacking - perhaps best to scale back on your ambitions for solo hacking for now, there's no need to be a hero if that means you put yourself in danger. My troublesome one still doesn't really hack alone confidently, for her happiness and my safety I just don't bother now - when I had lots of off road hacking we were doing well with it but now it's all lanes so I don't take the risk.

See if you can get her enjoying her hacking in company until the new year when the daylight improves. Is she good on the ground? Could you long rein her out for short hacks? I do this with mine to make sure she remembers that she can go out and about on her own.

Mine has a happy ending, after a while we got to the bottom of each other and now we play to her strengths - she enjoys flatwork and has turned out to be very trainable, she's now getting established at advanced medium and we're looking towards advanced, hard to believe it's the same horse. If you like the mare, keep on chipping away at it. (if you don't like her, then I'd look for a new home for her, whatever happens you've got to like the head that pokes over the stable door). Retraining a horse is hard work, but jolly nice to look back when you've made some good steps forward and see how far you've come.

 

[FfionWinnie]

I think you’ve tried to hack solo too soon to be honest. This sounds like a difficult horse with a lot of issues. Personally I hack in safe company until the point where the new horse is eager to be in front the whole way round and there is no point where it needs a confidence boost from the other horse. It takes more than a couple of rides to achieve that so on that front I would not attempt to hack unless you can get a sane horse to accompany you for now.

4 months and a difficult horse isn’t long. To put this in perspective I’ve had my big horse nearly a year and he is completely uncomplicated and bombproof in nearly every situation but it’s taken until now for the niggles to be worked out even with him.

 

[scats]

Its still early days, try not to be too disheartened. Some horses do tend to go back and forwards a bit with regards training and it can be soul destroying sometimes. I've had P for about 10 weeks now and got her from refusing to hack out alone (reversing, bucking, humping..) to hacking out happily alone. Then last week she took exception to something that had moved place and all the old behaviours returned. I won in the end, we completed our hack and arrived back safely and relaxed but my twenty minute hack turned into over an hour one and the contents of my lunch were very nearly brought back up due to her ridiculous antics that nearly put the two of us in a ditch. At first I felt really downhearted about it, as we had just enjoyed 5 weeks of foot perfect hacking, but then I just thought that we are still in the early stage she of our relationship, she's a temperamental thing and I must expect inevitable metaphorical steps backwards at some point. It was still a successful hack because a) she realised that I don't give in and we finished our planned route and b) I learnt from it. I realised that when she is stressed, she does not respond well to both legs on at the same time, so I've actually come away with some knowledge that I didn't have the day before.

Try and set yourself up for success best you can- is there an even shorter hacking route that she is more confident with that you can stick to for solo hacking at this stage? Or can you take her round in-hand a few times first, so she gets used to being without another horse? I often do this with the nervous ones- get them used to a route in-hand and then hop on and ride it, even straight after we've just walked it.

 

[Antw23uk]

Can't give any advise other than good luck but wanted to share with you a little story. We went on holiday the other week and a friend came and poo picked, feet, feed my two horses. I got an amused message from my friend saying my mare wouldnt be caught until she had sniffed my friend for a few minutes ... It was one of those moments when I suddenly realised how far we had come because it reminded me about how she was when I first got her and the numerous times I just wanted to send her back because we werent clicking and she was being a horror. It was December when I got her so Jan and Feb were far from amusing!

She would literally do anything for me now bless her ... SO keep going, stay positive and in a year when you look back you might just smirk at this thread and how far you have come with your team mate Good luck and stay safe x

 

[thebayhorse]

Mine was the same hacking. I just pushed through and at first I found a route where there was a canter, trot and plenty of spooky things. When she became really relaxed I pushed her a little out of her comfort zone and she's responsed superbly! Obviously still not a 100% hacking horse but she's gettign uber confident now!

School wise - why not try pole work, or lunging or even free-jumping/lunging for some variety during the winter months? Not to be harsh but a lot of us have it much worse off when it gets to winter.

Keep going I'd love to hear updates? x

 

[Slightlyconfused]

What about walking out inhand hacking? Get her used to it that way but agree have a look at pssm.

 

[SEL]

4 months is no time for a horse with a difficult past - as frustrating as it feels you aren't going to overcome all those issues quickly. 2 1/2 years of owning one that was heading for a bullet and I remind myself of what we HAVE achieved rather than the stuff that's still a struggle.

 

[Goldenstar]

I think it's way too soon too be thinking you are not making fast enough progress with a problem horse .
And way too soon to be expecting a problem horse to hack alone .
Was she hacking out in front of the nanny horse 100% of the time with no problems .

 

[Mouse19]

Hi all

Thanks so much for the replies it’s made me feel so much better about things. I also think that there are so many people out there with proper ‘project’ horses, mine has actually been well educated (sort of) and has been out and about to shows. I get constantly asked why am I not competing her? Her old owner stopped competing her and they hired a male rider who had weight and nerves of steel on his side.
I’ve realised as people have said, it’s too early to get her out alone. I took for granted the fact she had been going so well with the nanny, leading all the way and actually being braver than the nanny horse.
Ycbm – She’s WB. I did wonder about the impact on her digestive system as she hadn’t been turned out in over a year. We have the perhaps enviable problem of having too much grazing, so although she went out in the ‘poor’ field it’s probably had an effect. She’s been on probiotics and yeasacc.

Milliepops – I might put her in a double for a session a week. I’ve progressed many horses up into a double, but not had to take them back into a snaffle (unless hacking out) so unpicking a bad progression is a new challenge for me.
Scats – Unfortunately the route I went on is the shortest circular route we have that’s not spooky. The really short one you have to ride in between bales of haylage that have tails that flap in the wind!
Thebayhorse – Lol I’m aware I might have sounded a bit spoilt. I am lucky to have the school, I know lots of others don’t have that luxury. I would only be able to ride at the weekend without it.
Lots of people have commented about long reining/ walking out in hand. I haven’t long reined her as being honest I think she’d kick my head in. Walking out in hand, I’ll admit I got off her on the hack from hell as I did think I was going to die. She’s the first horse I’ve got off in 23 years of riding. As soon as my feet landed she went to run home. I have a sneaking suspicion she’s done this before but can’t be sure so will do the company riding for now.
Your posts have really helped me. Sunday evening I was really thinking what have I done? I need to sell her but who on earth wants a lunatic horse. I need to scale things back, do some clinics over the winter so she does go out and about.

 

[Hallo2012]

you knew she was tricky, you knew progress wouldnt be smooth so stop beating yourself up.

dont try and race the daylight issue-hack with a nanny when you can do so easily and without stress, and if you cant then do some de spooking in the school instead.... set up banners, balloons, tunnels of fillers, poles on the floor, tarps to walk over and wear etc.

safe environment and surface to build up some trust and good behavior and before you know it it will be spring again.

you can school,lunge,polework and de spook and hack when you can. build up to clinics and lessons away from home and all of that will help resolve the hacking.

 

[FfionWinnie]

Mine, also a WB, has been quite difficult in terms of handling and having never been turned out in about 8 years before I bought him, I still have not managed to achieve turnout with him either! He is out on an all weather surface with adlib hay 24/7 and is happy in this set up. As soon as he’s on grass or with other horses he becomes difficult to handle (overly attached to his new pals, kicking the trailer/digging holes etc) and can be difficult to catch. I felt like I needed a long period of settled behaviour from him for my own confidence, so I’m sticking with this set up and not worrying about getting him on grass until next year.

Sometimes you have to pick your battles with a tricky horse. Outwardly mine is not at all a tricky and is a competition horse who can go out and win round big tracks tomorrow (albeit not with me!) lots of people would just put up with the other stuff. Not me!

Good luck!

 

[milliepops]

Sometimes you have to pick your battles with a tricky horse.

^^wholeheartedly agree with this. You can't do it all at once, this is a very pragmatic approach. Good luck OP

 

[acw295]

When I read your original post OP I though - well that all sounds positive!
There is a lot in there that is good, and not very much that is bad. You have a horse that is happy and settled into the herd when you are told she wouldn't be. You are making improvements in the snaffle. You are hacking well in company. If you continue to do the schooling and hack in company when you can until Spring the rest will come.

One thing I have found worked well with a horse that wouldn't hack alone was to just take them out a 5 mins from the yard then turn back, gradually increasing how far we went rather than doing a circular route as such. I know we were always told never to just hack out and turn straight back but it actually worked fine for me with a nappy one.