Feel embarassed & defeated

[Jazz2304]

I don't really have much to add in terms of the fall as everyone has well covered it already but I hope you're feeling better about it all soon. I do know what you mean about trying to make horsey friends as an adult though, I'm just getting back into it at 28 and I often feel like I'm the only adult at the riding school, so always happy to talk and to meet others locally, I'm East Yorkshire if you're this way on ?

Hard isn't it! Especially when you have different people in your group every week. Aw thank you - such a shame, unfortunately I'm down south

 

[brighteyes]

So much good advice here and I agree with most of it. Give yourself all the time you need. I do question that the yard would have known this horse was a whole different ride out on a busy hack, and they should have known your limitations due to the very fact they have been teaching you to ride!

As Shilasdair said, no riding school can guarantee you won't fall, but they should know their clients and their horses well enough to at least do their best to minimise the risk. From your post I do not think they fulfilled their side of the deal on this occasion. I would be researching a new riding school to be honest.

I am sure nobody would have been laughing at you - more likely thanking their lucky stars it wasn't them! We all fall at some point, I am an old rider now and I am always in awe of pictures and videos from young bloods doing brave and daring stuff on their horses, my nerve left me years ago.

Pride always comes before a fall.....oh boy is that true, I did on one occasion in recent years decide I would go for a good gallop on my favourite track and video as we flew along and I was determined to post it on my FB page. On the humiliation, but I did share it as I could see the funny side.........half way along my stupid mare did a sideways leap at a mouse farting in the grass and the following picture is my last attempt to ever show off my riding and camera work again! the old brick of a camera survived and so did the old rider, pride was badly damaged though! ??You will be just grand and look back on your first serious fall and also have a bit of a chuckle when you have a few more miles under your belt.

I once fell of an RS pony five times over six fields. Because I was useless. True. Most RS riders think they can ride.

View attachment 77829

I'd pay for that in a 24 x 36 on my wall!

 

[Shilasdair]

I do agree with you yes, in that I'm sure many others would have had the skills etc and experience to have handled the situation better. I think I said somewhere in this thread that I would be more vocal in future if I felt like I wasn't in control / comfortable in the situation. It was definitely a learning curve, I think mostly it was just fear - this was the first time it had happened to me and I panicked. I do know how to ride in half seat and did turn in a circle but panic took over. Those questions are actually super helpful thank you x

I'm not criticising you - if you think that, you have misread my post.
What I'm saying is that you can either throw in the towel or you can use this experience to learn.
Your choice.
But - there is no rider in the world who won't fall off sometimes - which is why I am suggesting making sure your equipment is good enough to protect you.
And there are some horses you should refuse to get on. For a while I used to be a human crash-test dummy (aka 'breaking and schooling rider'). I was paid to ride horses that other people couldn't or didn't want to.
There were still horses I'd say 'No thanks, not getting on that'.
I liked a challenge, but I don't have a death wish.

 

[DizzyDoughnut]

Don't be embarrassed! I've never witnessed someone falling off and thought anything other than oh s..t I hope they're ok.

My friend convinced me to go to a show once, I decided to have a go at the clear round, my pony napped the whole way round a course of jumps that were so small a Shetland could have stepped over them. Once we had finally got round with the help of my friends mum running with us for the last few jumps we started calmly walking out of the ring. One minute I was on the pony, the next I was lying on the ground half under the rope round the ring with a few children looking down awkwardly at me. I think the nerves, early start, lack of food and sheer relief at having got round in one piece caused me to faint for the first and only time in my life. It was really embarrassing and if my friend had given me a choice in the matter I would have happily hid in the trailer till we could leave. It really does happen to everyone. At least you didn't just topple off in walk like me ?

 

[Tarragon]

[QUOTE="View attachment 77829[/QUOTE]
The colours in this photo are stunning! A work of art

 

[Smogul]

Sorry - long long post.


Literally what do I do next? Do I give up? I've been in riding schools forever. It's so hard to make horsey friends when you're older, I'm so sad I never did pony club or have horsey parents. I often wonder if things would have been different if I'd got into riding when I was really young

If you made it this far thanks ??

No, it would not have been any different if you had ridden as a child - everyone falls off. Don't give up or at least don't decide now to give up. OH and I were over 30 when we got involved with horses. Many riding schools say it is easier to teach an adult when they are a complete novice as they don't have the totally misguided belief that they know what they are doing.

The second horse I owned was so unsuitable I ended up sitting in the yard car park crying as I was too scared even to go into the stable block. A good instructor and a lovely bombproof cob got me back in the saddle.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

I'd pay for that in a 24 x 36 on my wall!

The colours in this photo are stunning! A work of art

Oh thank you both so much ? - a new career beckons. A sort of Picasso of the Equine photographic world, with a suitable price tag of course! I am not entirely sure I could replicate this high quality though, it was taken at a sort of half way down, mid flight 'now you see me, now you dont' artistic angle ?

 

[SEL]

The only falls you should ever feel embarrassed by are the really, really silly ones (forget to do the girth up on a fat pony for instance) and even then most riders are laughing with you and not at you - because most riders have had the silly falls, the nasty falls, the confidence destroying falls and sadly sometimes the really bad injury fall.

I was run away with when my friend's Welsh D (who I had ridden for years) took fright at motorbikes. I am a strong rider but struggled to get him to turn and only managed it as we came up to a fence - at which point I had all my weight to one side to try to turn him and the saddle went depositing me on the ground at speed. I was so stunned I couldn't move and another horse owner came running because it was obviously a nasty fall. I ripped open my jods from bouncing along the ground, took the skin off my leg and was so bruised it ended up being a hospital check over.

No one nearby or liveries on the yard thought anything other of me than being worried about whether I was OK. I've had a lot of falls in my life - I rode for a [dodgy] dealer as a teen - but this one shook me up enough that it took me a fortnight to get back on my own horse and months before I got back on the one that ran away with me. It happens and its totally OK to feel upset and demotivated by it, but please don't feel embarrassed. If you're happy with the RS then ask for a quieter horse to get your confidence back, but don't feel you have to stay there if you aren't happy.

 

[PSD]

I fell off getting on! My horse stood like a rock, I had no saddle and just slipped off the other side and she stood on my hip (bless her she tried so hard not to!). Caught the whole thing on cctv and the yard found it hilarious! Please don’t be embarrassed it happens to the best of us

 

[Fransurrey]

Horse should be embarrassed and ashamed to show his face, not you.

The person leading the ride certainly should be. Continuing to trot when a novice rider on a hunter is already struggling is bloody stupid. I've had rides on my own horse like this and have kept him in walk until I got to a hill when I could trot and get rid of his energy.

Nothing to be embarrassed about, OP. I've come off in much less dramatic circumstances and that includes standing still and at walk! I would ask for another horse and join a ride where the riders are walking. Nothing wrong with getting your confidence back in the saddle. We've all been there. I also grew up in a non-horsey family and still have very few horsey friends in my 40s!

 

[Rusky]

Sorry - long long post.

So, I feel embarrassed and disappointed in myself. At 29 years of age I feel like I'm still in the same place I was - plus now more scared - than I was as a teenager.

I dont have my own horse. I ride at a well known riding school. I had a scary fall out on a large group hack around 2 weeks ago now and ended up in hospital as a precaution as he was 17.2hh and the fall was at speed. Fortunately I didn't break anything but hurt my hip/leg and lost some of my memory temporarily afterwards - had no idea what day it was or where I was and very confused.

The whole time the horse I was riding was jogging, desperate to be in front. I ride him frequently in the school and he's actually a bit of a plod in there, but found out he's also a hunter. I was nervous, and not used to this on a hack - I've always had someone in front and there were a lot of people with us.

Everyone kept telling me the worst he would do it trot / jog, but I knew he wanted to go. I should have been more vocal. So yes, we got to an open field and they wanted to trot. Of course, I lost control. No brakes, heading for a fence, I managed to turn to try and stop but I was already so exhausted from holding him back (plus nerves) I ran out of energy and fell.

So, naturally, I'm now scared of open spaces and hacking. But mostly, I'm ashamed, upset and embarrassed. If I can't hack / enjoy hacking - what's the point? I've always found the thought of hacking alone to be scary, which is why I've never managed to transition to sharing. Ive been on plenty of amazing and fast hacks before, but I've always had someone experienced with me. I'm more than capable of all other aspects of sharing, but most sharers want hacking - which I understand.

The whole point of me even doing this hack was to join a club to make horsey friends, and that backfired massively, as I'm now to ashamed and embarrassed to show my face. I feel fine about going back in the school, but I just feel sad and defeated.

Literally what do I do next? Do I give up? I've been in riding schools forever. It's so hard to make horsey friends when you're older, I'm so sad I never did pony club or have horsey parents. I often wonder if things would have been different if I'd got into riding when I was really young

If you made it this far thanks ??

I don't think this was your fault! I would be angry with the owners who put you on that horse. The riding school let you down big style and let them know. A good establishment puts riders on horse which suit them, you already had worried about this horse before you started. Please don't be put off, go to a better riding school.

 

[Lipglosspukka]

I know many a rider who have ridden their entire lives, own their own horses, compete regularly and are good horsewomen, who would feel anxious on a 17.2, jogging and being overzelous on a group hack!