Feel you are rushing all the time when you're with your horse?

[applecart14]

I have come to the conclusion that I rush around my horse too much. As soon as I get to the yard I give him a mint, then groom and tack him up so I am on board within ten to fifteen minutes of arrival. I am not aware that I rush around him but last night I was really taking things slow as I had a bit of time of my hands, so I got to the yard, got changed in the car, and went directly to the ménage and set up a grid. I gave him a groom, tacked up and rode in the school, spent ages warming him up and cooling him down afterwards and had a chill when I turned him out in the paddock. He was really good and jumped lovely (our first grid in about 10 months) so he got loads of praise from me, didn't put a foot wrong. I felt like I rode really well last night, and the whole session was one of confidence, and happiness for both of us.

Just the evening before I'd watched a programme featuring Kelly Marks 'Harry goes hunting' and I was amazed how quiet and slow her movements were around the horse, and it struck me that I rush around my boy too much. Its been mentioned before that I was rushing too much around my friends youngster by my friend and I had to agree with her.

Like so many horsey people I have a very busy life - I drive for almost two hours a day in total, work for nine hours a day, go directly from work to the horse, muck out, ride etc then zoom to my partners where I spend two to 2.5 hours before going home. I feel like I am on a ferris wheel sometimes, rush, rush, rush, my life is dominated by the clock even at the weekends there are never enough hours in the day.

I think I am going to knock seeing my partner on the head for a day a week and have that time to do what I want with my horse in a nice easy relaxed fashion. How do you find enough time to do your horse. Ask yourself honestly, are you conscious that you rush around yours?

 

[The wife]

Yes, every single day and it doesn't matter if I have a full day to do them or an hour. I am so used to rushing around that I can't seem to slow down. Even when I have nothing else planned for the day I rush and I can't remember the last time I spent 'quality time' with my horses doing nothing, it's sad but I actually go in fits and starts about genuinely enjoying them and wonder why I do have them. The most pleasure I get is from my horse who is in competition livery who I turn up and pat at competitions and receive videos and pictures a couple of times a week. Even then I am not bothered about seeing him. I do also enjoy a little pootle I do on my older loan horse but have to have encouragement to do this.

This said I have just bought a section C colt who I have spent alot of time with - mainly re-fencing his field as he keeps escaping!

I am the same with the dog though. Dog gets walked twice a day while I am doing the horses, so about 2 hours a day, sometimes more but I can't remember when we last took him for a walk for pleasure.

How do I fit it in? Struggle! I work generally from 8.30ish-4.30. Horses are always finished by 8am, alot of the time I am there for around 6.45. I could get down there earlier but I am so exhausted I can't get out of bed any earlier unless dog wakes me up! Sister usually finishes work at 3pm, so will go down and start riding, I will join her to do the remainder of poo-picking until around 6.30. Go home, eat tea, fall asleep on sofa by 8pm and start again! Winter is even harder as they are in and our fields are a half mile walk away. Sometimes I do 2 trips, sometimes I do 1, if I am feeling brave. I finish work at 4 during the winter and help ride what is left. We try not to have more than 3 in work over winter for time restrictions.

I, like you notice I do rush because there is just not enough hours in the day, I walk quickly, type quickly and do everything in a rushed fashion. I even hoover quickly and grocery shop quickly and I don't know why. Husband says I just can't switch off and he is right.

You are not on your own on this and I think it is a common problem. I blame working environments, work is so stressful these days that is is hard to switch off.

 

[Bilbo_Baggins]

I can find myself rushing as well. Sometimes there is absolutely no reason why I can't stay a while and poop-scoop and have a wee ride, but I end up checking him over, giving him a pat and a carrot/mint and tootling home!

Now my transport is in the garage I am using public transport and lifts this week until it's fixed. I have to allow more time to get too and from work, and as I have a wait for the bus/train to get home from the horse I have found myself spending some real quality time with him and enjoying it! I don't know why I am in such a rush to leave and go home, especially at this time of year when its light so late!

I agree with The Wife, I found myself rushing to start with and realised I had better slow down as I now had 2 hours to wait for the bus kicking my heels!!!

 

[Zipzop]

This is a great post. I rush through life including the horse and the dogs. In fact none of my family will come out on dog walks with me anymore because they can't keep up, I march along so fast, but I do have whippets to keep up with!
I teach on the weekends on a riding school and have to very consciously slow down and teach 'slowly', take a deep breathe and allow the lessons to progress as they should. Otherwise I feel myself getting a little bit frustrated, (not outwardly to my clients) and then have to check myself and say it's ok it's meant to take time!
My whole life is a big rush, I work seven days a week and have a couple of side hustles at certain times of the year to keep up with, I'm always thinking about the next thing and then realise I missed being in the moment with the thing I just did.
Time to slow down, relax and savour life as it comes.

 

[The wife]

This is a great post. I rush through life including the horse and the dogs. In fact none of my family will come out on dog walks with me anymore because they can't keep up, I march along so fast, but I do have whippets to keep up with!
I teach on the weekends on a riding school and have to very consciously slow down and teach 'slowly', take a deep breathe and allow the lessons to progress as they should. Otherwise I feel myself getting a little bit frustrated, (not outwardly to my clients) and then have to check myself and say it's ok it's meant to take time!
My whole life is a big rush, I work seven days a week and have a couple of side hustles at certain times of the year to keep up with, I'm always thinking about the next thing and then realise I missed being in the moment with the thing I just did.
Time to slow down, relax and savour life as it comes.

You are so on the button with the dog walking as well and it is one reason why husband and step son won't take the dog for a pleasure walk with me anymore and to be honest it is just easier to walk/run him while I am doing horses, I can go at my own pace then and walk as fast as I like. Kill 2 birds with one stone and all that.

I have found this post quite sad actually and again ZipZop, you have got it in one with your comment about missing the moment. I missed my sisters first ride in the International Arena at Hickstead this year because 'I had too much to do' - It's true, I did (And car had broken as well) but I can never get that moment back now and never did get to see it, I never got to hear the huge cheer she had from the best gallop of the class and so all I have are pictures. Feel like crying now. Seem to spend so much time rushing that time is just passing by too quickly but already I am looking at the clock, knowing that I have to be somewhere else in just over an hour and so the cycle starts again.

 

[PaddyMonty]

Nope, no rushing here (apart from at work).
Horse on full livery, kids grown up, wife at yard with her horses all evening. Zero time pressure at evenings and weekends.
It was not always thus.

 

[SpringArising]

I rush even when I have no where to be, out of habit.

Wish I could stop! Walking slow is like nails on a chalkboard for me.

 

[9tails]

Nope, I rush everywhere else so that horse time is relaxation. I sit on a log in her field and she gets a proper scratch and pamper just because we can.

 

[Sprat]

Ditto to all of the above.

I work generally a 830 - 5 job Monday to Friday, have a commute of 30 mins or so each way, however I am often mobile within the Midlands which can then mean much earlier starts (sadly, not earlier finishes as well) and much more time in the car.

Once I'm at the yard, it seems such a rush to get the field poo picked, do all normal jobs, groom, tack up, have an attempt at a productive ride, feed, turn out etc. Then take into account cleaning the house (which seems to ALWAYS be a tip) do the shopping, make dinner and then try and find time to relax.

Oh. And plan a wedding as well.

In a strange way, I'm glad it's not just me!

I feel like a lot of the ladies at the yard seem to have all the time in the world. There are so many there that for their own reasons have the ability to work part time (or not at all) or even have flexi time which allows the time for the horses.

It's a shame, as The Wife said, you miss a lot of the good stuff. I suddenly realised the other day that I haven't seen my grandparents and a lot of friends for months, and it is simply because I 'have too much on'

 

[Bilbo_Baggins]

Nope, I rush everywhere else so that horse time is relaxation. I sit on a log in her field and she gets a proper scratch and pamper just because we can.

This is what I have enjoyed the past week and hopefully it will change my ways for the better the thing I don't understand is that I love the quality time with my horse, and just have gotten into the bad habit of rushing through my chores!

 

[9tails]

I feel like a lot of the ladies at the yard seem to have all the time in the world. There are so many there that for their own reasons have the ability to work part time (or not at all) or even have flexi time which allows the time for the horses.
'

Not all. I work 9 - 5 every day in London, over an hour commute each way. Horse is on DIY, so winter is very early morning start to turn out and muck out. Summer is 24/7 but even in winter I use my spare time on her. She is my hobby afterall.

 

[Crackerz]

Ditto to all of the above.

I work generally a 830 - 5 job Monday to Friday, have a commute of 30 mins or so each way, however I am often mobile within the Midlands which can then mean much earlier starts (sadly, not earlier finishes as well) and much more time in the car.

Once I'm at the yard, it seems such a rush to get the field poo picked, do all normal jobs, groom, tack up, have an attempt at a productive ride, feed, turn out etc. Then take into account cleaning the house (which seems to ALWAYS be a tip) do the shopping, make dinner and then try and find time to relax.

Oh. And plan a wedding as well.

In a strange way, I'm glad it's not just me!

I feel like a lot of the ladies at the yard seem to have all the time in the world. There are so many there that for their own reasons have the ability to work part time (or not at all) or even have flexi time which allows the time for the horses.

It's a shame, as The Wife said, you miss a lot of the good stuff. I suddenly realised the other day that I haven't seen my grandparents and a lot of friends for months, and it is simply because I 'have too much on'

This is exactly me. i have to plan my days including weekends like a military operation
I'm not sure what i would do if i didnt have horses or go running, i hate being in the kitchen so it wouldn't be cooking or baking!

 

[PaddyMonty]

i have to plan my days including weekends like a military operation

I would be seriously looking at why. For me, quality is far more important than quantity.

 

[ester]

Surely it's just being efficient?
It is better now than in winter with a bit more daylight, otherwise I am rushing to ride then and everything else comes after. You won't ever find me languidly mucking out or poo-picking though .
Someone recently suggested I make sure I do more 'quiet' stuff at weekends... I said I think you have got the wrong idea about my life , and passed them the diary/timetable (produced for that reason not on a regular basis!)
I do make sure I have quiet time with the pony then though.

 

[Micropony]

Nope, I rush everywhere else so that horse time is relaxation. I sit on a log in her field and she gets a proper scratch and pamper just because we can.

Yup, this is me too. Life is busy, but I rush (or opt out of) all the other stuff so that I can enjoy the time I spend with my horse. It's my relaxation and my pleasure and my mental health. The way I look at it, I work jolly hard to have my boy and keep him the way I want to, so why rush around and turn it into a chore? The housework can wait!

 

[Damnation]

Yes.

I work 9am til 5:30pm. Horse in winter is done for me in the morning (Fed and turned out), at night I go and do her. Summer is nice because I can slow down a bit but even then I am meeting friends afterwards or have an appointment. I usually have something else to rush off to do etc. Winter is harder, I usually have about 45 minutes or less to muck out, do her hay, do her water, bring her in, feed her, pick out feet, check all legs are attached (no cuts,lumps, bruises), reposition her rug then dash off somewhere else.

The other week I spent a lovely day just being with her. Long reined, bathed her, took her for a walk, pulled her mane, trimmed her tail etc. It has been a long time since I had time to just faff to my hearts content without looking at my watch once

I stay at my OH's most nights and he doesn't finish work til 9pm so by the time we eat and get tucked into bed its 11pm and time for sleep! I'm then up at 7 to get ready for work because it takes me like an hour to wake up properly...

I'm still trying to balance horse, work, social life, relationship and time. It doesn't help that like you AC14, I seem to live in my car. I've put 16,000 miles on my car since the beginning of October last year... I do a minimum of 50-60 miles a day and probably spend almost 2 hours in my car driving a day as a minimum. Even I went home instead of to OH's it wouldn't help, if anything it would increase my mileage.

For once I'm not trying to juggle money too - I used to have no money and loads of time. Now I have no time and a small amount of spare cash a month!

 

[chestnut cob]

Applecart, I could have written that post myself! My whole life feels like that most of the time and it does grind you down and wear you out!

 

[Crackerz]

I would be seriously looking at why. For me, quality is far more important than quantity.

Why? Because i have to work full time like i assume most people have to, do the horses, keep fit so i don't get fat again & make sure i see my OH other than just in bed.
I can't see a way to cut anything out to make anything less busy. Weekends i have to do all the things i can't do in the week like food shopping and all the yard chores i can't fit in, competing, longer rides etc. I do tend to lay in till about 7am at the weekends though which is a luxury!

 

[I.M.N.]

I used to rush with everything really badly, then I broke my hip, that really teaches you to slow down, more through necessity than choice! That was 4.5 years ago and just recently I've realised I'm rushing through life again so I've made a conscious decision to try and slow down. It sounds strange but I think I was happier when I took life a little slower, I still have the same amount that needs to be done but I seem far less resentful of it all when I take a few more moments to do it.

 

[Sprat]

Why? Because i have to work full time like i assume most people have to, do the horses, keep fit so i don't get fat again & make sure i see my OH other than just in bed.
I can't see a way to cut anything out to make anything less busy. Weekends i have to do all the things i can't do in the week like food shopping and all the yard chores i can't fit in, competing, longer rides etc. I do tend to lay in till about 7am at the weekends though which is a luxury!

^^ This exactly!

 

[EBHouse]

I was exactly the same. I have my horse on full livery now because it means I can take it easy when I get to the yard after work and enjoy him, rather than run around mucking out/poo-picking etc. I enjoyed doing these jobs too but time actually with the horse took priority.

 

[only_me]

I feel like I'm rushing atm - not due to lack of time but as we're still in hacking stages, an hour of walk (mixture of on a contact & no rein contact) feels so, so long & boring!
Can't wait till we get to the more interesting/stimulating stages lol. At least My mind will be better occupied!

 

[EBHouse]

I was exactly the same. I have my horse on full livery now because it means I can take it easy when I get to the yard after work and enjoy him, rather than run around mucking out/poo-picking etc. I enjoyed doing these jobs too but time actually with the horse took priority.

That being said I still seem to run around as I don't get to the yard until late and I find it difficult to make time to have dinner and spend time with my OH who is woefully neglected.

 

[Bilbo_Baggins]

That being said I still seem to run around as I don't get to the yard until late and I find it difficult to make time to have dinner and spend time with my OH who is woefully neglected.

This is a big thing for me I think. I rush at the horse as I feel I am neglecting my OH, but when I am with OH I feel like I am neglecting the horse! Just end up feeling guilty either way and the only days I don't are Sat's and Sun's which he works and I don't so I don't feel so torn! He doesn't mind me being with Bilbo at all, but if I finish work at 5 and get to the horse around 5:30 and then poop-scoop, groom, ride, untack and put away e.t.c I won't get home until 8:30/9pm! Then its dinner and bed!

 

[Mongoose11]

I don't rush anything now I don't ride (I leave that to the sharers). I go up 5/6days out of seven and potter for about two hours or more. I don't have children (yet) and it's a great way to wind down after work. Tonight I'm planning to do my jobs super slowly and then give her a tail wash and a good groom. She has the life of bloody Riley!

 

[ester]

I would be seriously looking at why. For me, quality is far more important than quantity.

Why? Usually because we love the horses so much we couldn't bear to be without them but that doesn't stop the fact that normal life needs doing too

 

[Highlands]

Currently at home off sick after having my gallbladder Monday, relax they say do nothing.... Easier said than done! It hurts yes, its sore but I'm normally so busy, work full time, swim a lot ride etc... Lost 8 stone in a year! Climbing the walls!

 

[Mrs G]

I find I rush through everything else in my life so that I don't rush my horse-time! This usually means I've got indigestion from wolfing my food down too quickly or by eating on the move, I'll sit at my work desk with my coat on ten minutes early just so I'm ready to shoot out the door as soon as it's home time; my house is a tip (I'm not wasting time cleaning or tidying!); and ok so I may have flashed at the odd motorist as I change clothes in lay-bys to and from the yard to save a few minutes...But I lost my first longed for horse after just 18mths and I swore I'd try and make the most of every minute if I got another; for such powerful animals they are awfully delicate in other ways. Make the most of them while you can!

 

[wench]

Yes... Rushing all the time. For me for example, I want to ride both my horses and enjoy it. I want to go out and compete at the weekend, but the expectation of me is that I get home at a reasonable time and do a load of housework/shopping/jobs.

 

[huskydamage]

Time stops for me up the yard. I only rush the boring jobs like mucking out and poo picking, grooming and riding I can do all day (and be late for everything else!) I was on full livery once for a bit and loved it, my horse was always immaculate! My OH says 'I forget about life when I'm with the horse ' lol