Feeling anxious and uneasy......is it me or is this all a bit odd?

Perfect_Pirouette said:
No- no one more fierce here, I’m at work  though one of my (very assertive) colleagues would probably ring for me if I wanted but I’m 26, I need to start sorting things out myself in life.

There COULD be a perfectly innocent explanation but I am feeling angry and resentful at being put in the position where I have to ring and chase and ‘be assertive’ I shouldn’t have to.

I really think they are going to try and bargain me down at an already nominal sum.

Blah, just been having a bad couple of weeks really tbh. I seem to constantly have people taking the P or advantage because of my good nature and possibly at times lack of assertiveness. I am seriously considering going on some type of course. Fed up of trying to be nice to get it thrown back in my face. I even gave them two bags of feed to see him through the 2 weeks he was there as well as paying half to transport him over. Let alone agreeing to the trial in the first place against my better judgement.

I really want them to be genuine and have him as he deserves a lovely, loving home :(
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PP - you are getting yourself wound up now and deciding that they are messing you about or trying to push the price down when you don't know at all if this is the case. One bridge at a time. Pick up the phone and sort it out, it doesn't need to be a big confrontation, just go and ring them.
 
Perfect_Pirouette said:
in the agreement that they signed it states that if they dont want him he is to be transported back at their expense.

I just really don't understand why they can't just drop me a quick text/VM stating whether or not they want my horse and what's going on.
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I'd be inclined to text them that if you don't hear back by 2pm, that you will be assuming that they don't want him and will be arranging transport asap at their expense, as per your agreement.

This would be giving me the irrits well and truly, because you are right, it would take no effort for them to give you an answer. Maybe its a negotiation tactic, but I'd be getting my horse back asap.
 
Don't give them the option to back out. Don't threaten to collect as that means you are giving them the option to vack out, in fact you are inviting them to reconsider or renegotiate and you want this sale finalised.

Ring now. Tell them that the trial is over. They are happy with the horse so they need to pay up. Don't give them chance to do anything else.

Don't convince yourself there will be problems before they arise. Tell them they need to pay now and see what they say.

If they try to change the deal tell yhem you will call back after speaking to oh/parents to give yourself time to tjink so you don't get bullied into anything or agree to something you will regret.

But ring now and stop torturing yourself
 
Perfect_Pirouette said:
Blah, just been having a bad couple of weeks really tbh. I seem to constantly have people taking the P or advantage because of my good nature and possibly at times lack of assertiveness. I am seriously considering going on some type of course. Fed up of trying to be nice to get it thrown back in my face. I even gave them two bags of feed to see him through the 2 weeks he was there as well as paying half to transport him over. Let alone agreeing to the trial in the first place against my better judgement.

I really want them to be genuine and have him as he deserves a lovely, loving home :(
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You're personality sounds so similar to me... willing to put yourself out and out of pocket to try and help someone only for people to try and rinse you for more/take the P/throw it all back at you .. then when you do stand up for yourself in a correct, but to the point manner without being rude they suddenly dont like it and all hell breaks lose and you are at the middle of it because you gave yourself a voice. I don't ever chose to put myself in these situations, I think some people like the thrill of conflict, but some how I manage to find myself in them :confused: :confused:

I am or should I say was in a very similar position, regarding installments. Won't go into it as I've already hijacked some one else's thread over it. I was too softy, softy, got fed up tried to call their bluff - didn't work out exactly how I planned but at least I dont have to deal with them any more and I can block them from my life.


Hoping for a good out come for you. Will keep checking the thread to see the final result xx
 
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Kat said:
Don't give them the option to back out. Don't threaten to collect as that means you are giving them the option to vack out, in fact you are inviting them to reconsider or renegotiate and you want this sale finalised.

Ring now. Tell them that the trial is over. They are happy with the horse so they need to pay up. Don't give them chance to do anything else.

Don't convince yourself there will be problems before they arise. Tell them they need to pay now and see what they say.

If they try to change the deal tell yhem you will call back after speaking to oh/parents to give yourself time to tjink so you don't get bullied into anything or agree to something you will regret.

But ring now and stop torturing yourself
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Great advice ^ Good luck PP I hope it works out for you all :)
 
this is getting daft.........

tbh id just rock up tonight with a horsebox and collect the horse...

id be thinkng the worse tbh............lame or worse....why else wouldt they contact you etc when you said on another post they were/friends/or friends of friends etc..?.
 
Stop second guessing and ring them :p, at a guess she probably doesn't think it's appropriate to ring you at work and is therefore planning on doing so later.
 
Ditto, above.

You don't have to be confrontrational at all, just matter of fact. They know ther rules, your not doing anything they wont be expecting. The ground rules were set before the trial started. If you don't make the call & things drag on you don't know what's happening to your horse. You owe it to him to get his life sorted, so he is safe & you can relax knowing he is so. If they do try to barter you down, say you want him back as you need him available for other people to try. Whhich if they are mucking you about & you need to take him back is the truth.

All the best. No matter how hard you find it remember you are doing it for him, it will help you deal with it.
 
noodle_ said:
tbh id just rock up tonight with a horsebox and collect the horse...
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I'm guessing that the op doesn't have transport from her previous posts, the horse was transported there at shared expense and the return journey (if there's to be one :() is to be at the other party's expense.

Just getting hold of a horsebox at short notice wouldn't be easy for me, or many people. I think the OP uses professional horse movers. That would take a bit of arranging, and the other party's supposed to pay.
 
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My P takers antenna are on the alert with this one OP. Ring them, be assertive, find out the story.

And don't take offers of paying in instalments either - you don't want to be in this position every month when they "haven't had enough time to get round to paying yet".

I actually think getting someone else to phone is quite a good idea.
 
Agree with ester there are no end if reasons why she may not have called that aren't sinister.

The buyer would probably be stunned to read this. They probably think "she knows we want him so it is just a formality" and they probably don't see what difference it makes phoning in the morning or the afternoon.

For those suggesting she rock up with the horsebox, the OP has said she needs this sale. Turning up with the horsebox and an ultimatum is bound to result in the sale falling through.
 
I would not turn up with the horsebox unless I was really concerned for his welfare or they tell me that they don't want him.

I hope there is just a genuine explanation. Yes, it's only 1 day after trial period has ended so not totally dragged out etc, it's more the fact that I just haven't heard anything at all and think if I hadn’t of texted them over the weekend and rung yesterday I wouldn’t have heard anything which to *me* is odd as if I had a horse on trial it (unless family/work etc disaster/emergency struck) would be at the forefront of my mind. I know people can be scatty but it’s not like borrowing a pair of shoes lol, it’s a horse!!
 
Kat said:
Agree with ester there are no end if reasons why she may not have called that aren't sinister.

The buyer would probably be stunned to read this. They probably think "she knows we want him so it is just a formality" and they probably don't see what difference it makes phoning in the morning or the afternoon.
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Yes, I think this is still quite likely. Some of the replies here are somewhat alarmist IMO.
 
Perfect_Pirouette said:
I would not turn up with the horsebox unless I was really concerned for his welfare or they tell me that they don't want him.

I hope there is just a genuine explanation. Yes, it's only 1 day after trial period has ended so not totally dragged out etc, it's more the fact that I just haven't heard anything at all and think if I hadn’t of texted them over the weekend and rung yesterday I wouldn’t have heard anything which to *me* is odd as if I had a horse on trial it (unless family/work etc disaster/emergency struck) would be at the forefront of my mind. I know people can be scatty but it’s not like borrowing a pair of shoes lol, it’s a horse!!
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Ring ,I need to go XC schooling later you will put me off !
 
Agree with others, you need to ring them. They know that the trial is over and didn't ring last night/this morning so just ring and say you need to know a decision now so you can get things sorted
 
Keep ringing then. Maybe they are on to their bank arranging for a cash withdrawal :)

Or maybe the fact the phone is engaged just shows that they really are mad busy.
 
So now text saying I rang you you where enaged please call me and I will keep trying you .
And keep ringing.
 
:mad::mad:OMFG. FUMING :mad:

Spoke to mother just now. Apparently he has been the perfect horse over the last two weeks, no problems with him. IF they want another horse, HE will be the horse they get. BUT, they're not sure whether they actually want another one, have time for another.

WTF :mad: :mad: :mad:

YOU DON'T TAKE A HORSE ON A 2 WEEK TRIAL IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF KEEPING HIM. YOU DON'T LOOK AT ADVERTS TO HAVE A HORSE ON TRIAL IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF HAVING ONE.

They are going to talk this afternoon and let me know. I was so upset and speechless I just said okay.

What am I going to do? I have another horse now too, I can't afford two, I don't have the time or money for two and actually, could I really put him through ANOTHER new home?? WTF
 
OMG! That is awful, poor you and your horse. What p*sstakers.
So they have had a lovely half term with an extra horse to ride and now he can go back - I would be spitting nails.

Describe your boy...not in a 'for sale' way but just for info...
 
Perfect_Pirouette said:
:mad::mad:OMFG. FUMING :mad:

Spoke to mother just now. Apparently he has been the perfect horse over the last two weeks, no problems with him. IF they want another horse, HE will be the horse they get. BUT, they're not sure whether they actually want another one, have time for another.

WTF :mad: :mad: :mad:

YOU DON'T TAKE A HORSE ON A 2 WEEK TRIAL IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF KEEPING HIM. YOU DON'T LOOK AT ADVERTS TO HAVE A HORSE ON TRIAL IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF HAVING ONE.

They are going to talk this afternoon and let me know. I was so upset and speechless I just said okay.

What am I going to do? I have another horse now too, I can't afford two, I don't have the time or money for two and actually, could I really put him through ANOTHER new home?? WTF
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What a bunch of timewasters.

Time to organise that box.
 
I have just cried at my desk in front of everyone. I feel like such a t**t.

If they ring and say that they don't want him, I will absolutely go mental.

MY POOR BOY :( He does not deserve this, he is the kindest and most genuine horse ever and it's not just me they will have let down :(

If this doesnt work out, I will NEVER, EVER agree to a trial ever again.
 
Oh no. :mad:

I'm so sorry. :(

Can you re-advertise and try again? I know you shouldn't have to, and it's unforgivable to mess you about like that, but I can't see what else you can do.

I assume they're still not sure if they're going to let you know later?
 
She said she needs to go home and talk to the daughter to make a decision.

Honestly, I think I will PTS.

That poor horse has been passed from pillar to post so much these past couple of years that he doesnt know whether he's coming or going. Could I really do it to him again?
 
been following this thread, sounds like a nightmare :(
I would be fuming, the trial was up yesterday and you were the one who had to keep ringing to ask if they wanted him or not.
I would not ring again, wait for them to get back to you- find someone with a trailer and if you don't hear from them go and get him tomorrow morning- just get him back home then decide what to do. Of they end up saying they do want him- im not sure what I would do, but I would make my feelings very clear!!
 
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