Feeling Inadequate

Trinket12

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Sorry, this is long.....

So up to now (well yesterday) Sugar has been great. Good to catch (though I have to keep one of the mares away who's a knob when I get her from the field) and up until yesterday, fine to take to the main barn area.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday I go to get her, and she walks towards me more (yay) get her head collar on and off we go. All is good to begin with, lots of looking but no issues. Then not so good, we have backing up, walking sideways and general shenanigans. No spookiness as such, just not going forward. She would go backwards (face towards the field she came from) but that was it. I chucked her in a nearby paddock and went to get help.

One of the trainers came to help me, Sugar was still being an idiot (though again, fine to catch in the paddock) and going sideways and backwards. So the trainer basically walked her backwards until off the track and then was able to walk her forward into the barn.

Sugar was super stressed at this point and lot of head tossing and pawing in the cross ties. Which I corrected every time, but she was just very het up. I then took her into one of the arena's, walked her around, stopping her and not letting her walk on until I said and backed her up when needed to. She was OK, though was still clearly having a bit of a melt down.

I took her back to her field, and she was good on the walk back, no rushing (when she did try to speed up, I stopped her and walked her back a couple of steps, we stood for a moment and then would walk on).

So by this point my anxiety has kicked in, that I have a herd bound mare and that this is going to be a nightmare (I'm rubbish, shouldn't have a horse blah blah blah). The other trainer mentioned that I may have to move her from pasture board (which I can't really afford), my anxiety has already been having a field day with this new thing of owning a horse; so many fun ways to imagine things could go wrong...... ironically the possibility of being herd bound wasn't one of the thoughts!

So to today. We had the farrier come out, as she has been a little sore (is barefoot and previous owner trimmed her too short) to see if we should do shoes or not.

So after reading up on handling a herd bound horse, off I go to her field. Was even easier to catch today than yesterday (basically walked right up to me), get her outside of the gate, and the silliness starts again.

So I am backing her up, as she won't go forward (but will go backwards, which just seems like harder work to me!) and along comes my trainer. She pops on a chain through the head collar and a couple of corrections to Sugar and she's walking like the best trained horse next to my trainer!

Now my trainer has more horse experience, than I have been alive. But I couldn't help but feel a right numpty, on the one hand I am happy that she's not as herd bound as thought, but on the other I just feel so inadequate.

Once to the barn, she was good as gold with the farrier (no shoes, not enough sole, and he'd prefer not to shoe, which I liked) he checked her over and gave some suggestions, but essentially we need to give her hoofs time.

Took her over to the barn area where her tack etc. is, in the cross ties no problem. We had a nice groom, and fly sprayed her. Took her into the smaller arena, and did some basic groundwork, where she was great! Stopped when I said, modulated her walking speed and backed up nicely.

Popped her back in her field (fending off the dragon mare) all no problem.

I wasn't a shy and retiring flower when I got her, I like to think of myself as quite bossy! Anyway, I have a chain in her head collar now, and will try tomorrow, with my even bossier pants on!

TLDR; Horse was an idiot for me and an angel for trainer and now I feel like I should just go back to owning a My Little Pony :(
 

Trinket12

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Could her reluctance to walk forwards sensibly to the barn be because her feet are a bit sore? She shouldn't be bad mannered anyway but that could be the reason for it.

Hmmm, not sure. She came in boots (though they don't really fit) and the farrier suggested putting those on for walking her around the barn as there are some gravelly bits. I'm going to pop them on tomorrow.

I guess I need to be much more clearer with her that I expect manners, I thought I was but I guess I need to be 'louder' so to speak!

I suppose the silver lining is, that if I can nail my firmness then we should be good. Her manners were fine in the arena today and I saw the horse I fell in love with!

I put a lot of pressure on myself to be 'perfect' in all aspects of my life and when I am not (because that's not realistic) I am incredibly hard on myself. So I am trying to focus on the positive, that she was OK to come in today and that I can repeat that tomorrow, and I will keep repeating it until I have it nailed!

Still considering a My Little Pony though ;)
 

Pearlsasinger

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A new horse is challenging for everybody, even the most experienced. If your farrier is suggesting that she needs to wear the boots, he must think that her feet are sore. She is telling you that her feet hurt when she walks to the barn (by being difficult to lead) but that she wants to work with with you (by being easy to catch). I would put the boots on for her and allow her feet to grow until she is more comfortable.
The art of working with horses is in listening to what they are telling you and you are just beginning to learn how to do that, enjoy the process.
 

Trinket12

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A new horse is challenging for everybody, even the most experienced. If your farrier is suggesting that she needs to wear the boots, he must think that her feet are sore. She is telling you that her feet hurt when she walks to the barn (by being difficult to lead) but that she wants to work with with you (by being easy to catch). I would put the boots on for her and allow her feet to grow until she is more comfortable.
The art of working with horses is in listening to what they are telling you and you are just beginning to learn how to do that, enjoy the process.
Thank you, that’s very helpful.

Boots on tomorrow 👍
 

DD

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she probably just doesn't want to leave her mates. She sounds as if she has never been schooled to lead properly but previous owners. this is not fair on you and does not reflect on your abilities. lots and lots of leading lessons , in a bridle ,at least to begin with are needed here I think. Also reward Sugar with a treat when she leads nicely, a small handful of tastey chaff in the manger in the stable will let her know there is something worth coming into. Works with mine.
 

milliepops

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I put a lot of pressure on myself to be 'perfect' in all aspects of my life and when I am not (because that's not realistic) I am incredibly hard on myself. So I am trying to focus on the positive, that she was OK to come in today and that I can repeat that tomorrow, and I will keep repeating it until I have it nailed!

Still considering a My Little Pony though ;)

We all screw up and we all encounter problems, it's part and parcel of keeping horses :)
I've been entirely responsible for the care of my own horses since childhood (non horsey parents) so the pressure to do it all right was incredible at times. I am also really hard on myself in other aspects of my life but oddly enough horses were the thing that have taught me that it's normal, natural and most importantly *OK* to make mistakes and to not have all the answers. Because you never will ;)

They are forgiving and generous, quick to learn - yes that means they learn the "wrong" thing if you make training errors without noticing but they are also easily re-trained too! So cut yourself some slack, be grateful that you have a trainer on hand that can help you with these little issues and try and relax into enjoying your new horse :)
 

be positive

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It sounds as if you are expecting her to fall into line, accept a new routine, put up with having sore feet and get nothing in return as a reward, mares are sensitive, they usually take time to settle in and tend to work with you better with praise and rewards than constant corrections, listen to her, ensure she is genuinely comfortable if you want her to do any work and reward the behaviour you want rather than putting too much pressure on you both to be perfect all of the time.
 

Annagain

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She's only had a bit of an issue on two days - with the very plausible explanation that sore feet are the reason. I wouldn't worry too much yet. You sound like you're in the right place with trainers on hand to help you too. Maybe next time you need their help, rather than them doing the leading, you could ask them to talk you through what they're doing so you're learning rather than just watching them and losing faith in your ability? The fact she's working well in the arena - on a soft surface - suggests to me it is because her feet are sore. She sounds like she's with you - just telling you that something's not quite right.
 

Trinket12

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Thanks guys! I really appreciate your comments, made me feel better :) I am heading to see her after work, and will be taking her boots to the field with me so that hopefully will help with the soreness as I take her into the barn.

The farrier suggested getting boots for riding her in, until her feet are better. The ones she came in are too big, they're fine for plodding over the gravel but that's it. My coach hasn't really had to use boots for horses before, so she's not 100% on what's a good brand, or how to size them. Although she seems to be doing OK in the arena, I think it might be worth getting some. Any recommendations?
 

JFTDWS

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Honestly, you are inadequate. All new owners are inadequate. Even all experienced owners are inadequate, at the very least inadequate in some fields. The good owners aren't the ones who are adequate in every situation (I'm not even sure they exist!) - they're the ones who know they're a bit inadequate and seek help when they need it.

(I've said inadequate too many times - it now sounds weird)

I agree with PaS about her feet - see how she is in boots. But honestly, this sort of stuff is totally normal with new horses - you're still getting to know each other and all you're really describing is a bit of misbehaviour (likely triggered by her feet anyway) about walking in - there's so many positives in your post about what your little mare is like - good to catch, mannerly about stopping going out to the field / in the arena despite being a bit worked up etc. Focus on those and stop beating yourself up!


eta - I have renegades. I really like them, they're a useful thing to have in my tack room. I also like the look of Swiss Galoppers, but haven't tried them.
 

eggs

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One of my horses that I have had since a foal is as good as gold to catch in the field and always leads in nicely when it is 'normal' coming in time BUT if you try and lead him in at a non-coming in time (which does vary according to the time of year) he is an absolute git. I can always catch him but at some point on the way out of the field he sets his not inconsiderable neck against you and just bogs off with no holding him on a headcollar. Now if I bring him in at an odd time it is always with a bridle on and a lunge line or with a chain over his nose off a headcollar as he has learned that he cannot get away from me in that although he is a crafty beggar and has a good think about it when I am concentrating on opening the gate. The bogging off had become a bit of a habit but it only took one session with the bridle and lungeline for him to decided that it really wasn't worth it. He gets a polo once we are through the gate.

I am sure you will be able to sort this with your new mare but it does rather sound as if this is behaviour that has worked for her in the past.
 

Trinket12

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Thank you all for the pep talk, I felt much more positive about my barn trip yesterday and we had success in the field!

There was a brief “discussion” as we left the field, but she soon saw my point of view 😃

Good as gold on the walk up to the barn (with her boots on) and was very well behaved in the cross ties. We had a little walk around the barn, and she was very good walking past the scary hissy water demon (hose pipe), though when she saw a Ziploc bag on the way back to the field, that was clearly hiding scary things in it :D

Picture of madam, like butter wouldn't melt :rolleyes: going to have a little tootle around tonight, though just in walk as she will have boots on. Saddle fitter comes tomorrow too.




SugR 2 (2).jpg
 

TheOldTrout

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Sugar is gorgeous.
My own mare has been a bit spooky coming in lately, I think it's partly because the wind has been blowing the trees in the wood next to her field (which turns the trees into horse-eating monsters) and partly because some vegetation has been cut down on one side of the track she goes along - giving easier access to horse-eating monsters. Have you had strong winds or any changes in the environment lately that could be affecting Sugar?
 

Trinket12

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Sugar is gorgeous.
My own mare has been a bit spooky coming in lately, I think it's partly because the wind has been blowing the trees in the wood next to her field (which turns the trees into horse-eating monsters) and partly because some vegetation has been cut down on one side of the track she goes along - giving easier access to horse-eating monsters. Have you had strong winds or any changes in the environment lately that could be affecting Sugar?

She's not spooky, just channeling her inner Donkey ;) she's smart and I am hoping that as long as I am consistent when getting her from the field, the stubbornness will abate. I am only give her a treat when we get to the barn as well, so she sees that positively!

I've only had her two weeks (well two weeks on Saturday) so we're still figuring each other out!

She is a very pretty horse, and knows it too :rolleyes:
 
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