Fighting the fear?

I'll leave the good advice to those above, but you're not alone... I'm utterly terrified of ruining Skye - not least because we've already flunked out of one sport, and I'm not ready to screw up in any others! I did have a recent revelation when I was having a total panic - I told my coach, he said not to worry, it'll be fine. I decided blind faith was as good an option as any, and actually, I feel loads better since ;) I never knew it was an option, but I do kinda see why people like religion now!
 
I really tried to think of this thread when I went to get on Topaz tonight, and she bogged off before I’d even got on the mounting block 🙈🤣🤦🏼‍♀️. Not sure what the learning opportunity was, asides from ‘keep better hold of the horse’...

Thanks everyone, I am seeing better that it has to be a mix of the two, and it cannot only be good experiences! MP we need a Darcy thread I think 😜.

As daft as it seems, knowing that all you very experienced (and those putting yourselves down!) have these same doubts is heart warming and giving me a good kick to keep going. Thank you all!

JFTD-WS why do you think Topazs show name is ‘Leap of Faith’ 😜, blind faith all the way here!!!
 
I'm riding Pebbles away at the moment, so I could pretty much do you a daily update on 'all the things I fretted about in the space of 15 minutes today' 😂

Today is day three and we have:
*I think she feels shorter than yesterday, maybe she's lame or about to throw a buck
*oh my God she's just swung her bum to the right when halting twice in a row, so now I definitely think she's lame or maybe I've made her wonky already, or asked for halt badly and now getting her to stand square will be a mission, or did I ask for halt right, oh God I can't remember, why wasn't I paying more attention, argh perhaps I've given other dodgy aids without noticing
*is she overbent, or has she just got a fat cresty neck
*maybe she is really fat and has laminitis in all four feet, no no, she's striding out fine now, marching in fact, probably a bit too quick, no, no such thing in walk
*she just chomped the bit, maybe she doesn't like the bit
*have I got off too soon, no no, she's been good
*hmm, maybe that bit is too small and she likes a bit of space either side
*I wonder what other bits I have that will fit her

😂 love young horses, I really do
 
I bought a just turned 4 year old that had only hacked, when I was a competent novice (top group riding school variety plus a share or two!). She had the best temperament in the world, and I figured that with a ton of lessons we’d be ok. And do you know what? We were fine. It took longer to get anywhere because we were both learning together, but we did get there in the end! She was a dressage diva and just lit up when we got into the arena, but she turned her hoof to whatever I wanted to do.

You will all be fine, just keep having lessons and ask for advice when you need it!!
 
I used to be so stressed out if I made a stupid mistake but now I go and see Caroline Moore and I am out of my comfort zone all the time. I get stressed, annoyed, pleased, make mistakes and feel brain dead at the end. But its part of a process and the horse needs to learn, as does the rider.

I tend to ask myself will the horse understand the question. If yes then its a learning opportunity.

I have picked up a few 20s in the last year and before would have freaked out and been really really cross for days, let it dwell on my mind and impact me. Now I brush it off, realise what the lesson is and try not to make the same mistake again.

We all make mistakes, its making sure they are learning mistakes and not absolute f@@k ups that ruin the horse. There is a big difference. Unfortunately the saying that you ruin many horses on the way to the top is true and if you speak to any top rider they will all say the same thing which is I wish I knew what I do now as wouldn't have made so many mistakes.

I would stop looking at other people, stop worrying about what you are doing and focus on making sure you are equipped as best you can be for the journey. Are you actively learning and trying your best with your learning? then don't sweat it. My tolerance is considerably lower for people who moan about not being good enough and then do nothing about it. There is so much opportunity to learn for free now (books, YouTube, Facebook etc) and to try and improve that there are very little excuses.
 
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