Finding a suitable shaer ... Asking the impossible?

Antw23uk

Antw23uk

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Little rant warning but also any advice would be very much appreciated.

I'm looking for a sharer, 2 possibly three days a week (happy to include one weekend day) for my 16.1 8yr old bundle of awesomeness ID allrounder kept on a fantastic yard. They don't have to be an amazing rider but please know which end is the head and which is the arss!

So far I've had one girl who said she could ride (granted better than she could muck out!!) and with appalling communication who I just couldn't trust ... she has now gone, thankfully.

One numpty wanting to know if our yard did lessons for her brat whilst I walked her round on my horse on a leadrope (answer was a no to both funnily enough)

One person who kept sending me messages until it got to the point she was then telling me she was looking for her and her friend and they could do five days a week (hell no am I letting you turn up and my horse to disappear into the sunset!)

A couple of people asking and then not replying when I've tried to explain in more detail what I'm looking for BEFORE potentially wasting both our time meeting up and finding another numpty on my pride and joys back!

I think perhaps I'm coming across as too precious or bossy but really at the end of the day I cannot believe I'm still looking for a sharer for an amazing horse. I'm asking a contribution of £25 per week which seems to be the going rate and someone who wants to hack out, maybe play around in the school and if capable jump him.

Am I asking too much? :( Anyone who got this far I really appreciate it x

And for good measure here is the handsome chap on offer :)

IMG_2803_zps789af139.jpg
 
you have to hang on in there, I advertised one of mine for share, I didn't even let any of the girls that replied come and see him, I knew what I wanted and it took six months but I have a lovely lady who was well worth the wait
 
Rhodders said:
you have to hang on in there, I advertised one of mine for share, I didn't even let any of the girls that replied come and see him, I knew what I wanted and it took six months but I have a lovely lady who was well worth the wait
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Six months? wow I thought people would be banging the door down to be honest :( Thank you, will keep trying :)
 
It's taken me nearly a year of on/off looking to find a girl who likes the horse (as opposed to just wants anything to ride) and who is reliable, pays without being asked, is keen to have lessons, is already DBS checked as she's a teacher. It's worth waiting.
 
What a super horse. I am sure there is someone wonderful out there, but you will need to be incredibly choosy. I agree, probably best to weed people out at the CV stage rather than progressing to interviewing so many of them! I dont think you are asking too much by the way, sounds v reasonable to me.
 
I saved my own time by not really talking much on the phone, just arranging to meet them (20% never turned up) I leave the horse in the field and sent them in to catch, groom and tack up (60% were too scared, inexperienced to do this and we left it there) - Lots I think expected to turn up to find tacked up pony ready for free riding !!
I'd then ride him for five mins and then let them hop on - TBH if they can sensibly groom and tack up they could ride well enough (10% didn't get on with the riding and didn't come back)
I'd then let them do a months trial (paid in advance) on the agreement that we'd set up a monthly direct debit (I hate talking about money so much easier)

Some certainly just wanted to chat on the phone all the time but the good 10% are out there!
 
It's worth waiting :) I've been a sharer twice before I bought my girl, both shares lasting several wonderful years, but it takes awhile to make a good match. That said, I've walked away from potential shares when the owner behaved as though they were interviewing a future employee. I'd never want to be treated as such when I am committing to putting in hard work and helping to pay upkeep. Young people or the inexperienced might tolerate it, but someone with the right knowledge and skills isn't going to. I'd follow Polos Mum's advice for weeding out the chaff :)
 
Polos Mum said:
I saved my own time by not really talking much on the phone, just arranging to meet them (20% never turned up) I leave the horse in the field and sent them in to catch, groom and tack up (60% were too scared, inexperienced to do this and we left it there) - Lots I think expected to turn up to find tacked up pony ready for free riding !!
I'd then ride him for five mins and then let them hop on - TBH if they can sensibly groom and tack up they could ride well enough (10% didn't get on with the riding and didn't come back)
I'd then let them do a months trial (paid in advance) on the agreement that we'd set up a monthly direct debit (I hate talking about money so much easier)

Some certainly just wanted to chat on the phone all the time but the good 10% are out there!
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This is pretty much how my interview went except owner didn't get on and ride. Two and half years later my share is still working brilliantly and hope it will continue for many more years.
 
I had an owner today who I was going to hack her horse out for a trial turn around and suddenly say she wanted more help on weekends which I said I couldn't do, so that was another good potential share for me gone. The horse looked perfect and there was an indoor school for winter, but the owner was a problem. Sometimes I just feel like giving up looking for a horse to ride.
 
Sounds fab, if I didn't already have Louis I would be contacting you!

Sorry not much use I know, where are you advertising?

ETA: I pay £100 + farrier for all days a week...so if money isn't the issue perhaps ask a bit less?
 
Hi

Where are you based ? there was a lady on the South East page looking for a share in the Buckinghamshire area think her forum name is Lunchbox Legend.

PS beautiful horse
 
Preloved, horsemart and FB so far. Im confident there is someone out there because he is such a great horse and ticks so many boxes so I know im not asking for the impossible share and ive seen some right meat market unhinged types advertised for a share and my boy leaves them in the shade.

Onwards and upwards ..... seems to be my mantra for everything right now!!
 
i think i may have seen your preloved advert and remember thinking to myself if i hadn't just taken on the share horse that i have (she kind of fell into my lap which was nice) i would have contacted you.

Good luck in your search for a sharer
 
Your horse is lovely i can totally understand your frustration at the lack of replies. I am in the same position as you, i am currently looking for someone to part loan my 16.2hh tb gelding, i know some people are put off as soon as they see thoroughbred but he realy is a lovely sane boy, he has no real vices worst he does is get a bit joggy now and then when excited but only does this if he knows you will cope he is a buckle end hack for less experienced riders, he is an event/hunter type is fit and ready to go. i have had plenty of replies just nothing any where near suitable ive had young teenagers even though i specified no under 16s and if under 18 must have parents permission, 16 year olds whos parents didnt know they had contacted, people who could apparently ride but had only ever done rs lessons so didnt know how tomuck out groom tack up etc and people who would contact then not reply when i asked a little more about them selves. It is hard and very frustrating, i am even willing to do a very cheap or free part loan to the right person but still all aplicants are no good there are far to many people who just want something free these days.

ETA- Ohh and i have even had more than one person ask how much for them to buy him despite specifically saying he is only for part loan
 
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Why are none of you in South Essex????

The part loans I've looked for have either been totally unsuitable ie needing a very brave good rider or mega bucks for only week days on yards with no school or lights so I wouldn't be able to ride all winter.

Now while I'm a pretty crap rider with a fat arss (love that spelling :) ) I'm way over 18, had my own horses since a child, can muck out/tack up with my eyes closed but since both mine are retired have looked on and off for a share (finances don't allow a third) and pretty much given up now...

I miss the day to day contact with horses as much as the riding tbh.
 
cbmcts said:
Why are none of you in South Essex????

The part loans I've looked for have either been totally unsuitable ie needing a very brave good rider or mega bucks for only week days on yards with no school or lights so I wouldn't be able to ride all winter.

Now while I'm a pretty crap rider with a fat arss (love that spelling :) ) I'm way over 18, had my own horses since a child, can muck out/tack up with my eyes closed but since both mine are retired have looked on and off for a share (finances don't allow a third) and pretty much given up now...

I miss the day to day contact with horses as much as the riding tbh.
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...
 
I've also been thinking about a sharer for my boy but mainly for financial reasons but also to take him jumping a bit as i dont jump (very bad accident about 6yrs ago scared me and I cant do it anylonger).
My lad is so lovely, forgiving and very well schooled for a 4yr old who has been broken for 4 months (been to a few champs shows and works beautifully in the school, Rides like an 8yr old who has been doing it for years) and all these stories have somewhat put me off as I dont want him ruined by every man and his dog coming to try him, shares gone wrong etc.
 
conniegirl said:
I've also been thinking about a sharer for my boy but mainly for financial reasons but also to take him jumping a bit as i dont jump (very bad accident about 6yrs ago scared me and I cant do it anylonger).
My lad is so lovely, forgiving and very well schooled for a 4yr old who has been broken for 4 months (been to a few champs shows and works beautifully in the school, Rides like an 8yr old who has been doing it for years) and all these stories have somewhat put me off as I dont want him ruined by every man and his dog coming to try him, shares gone wrong etc.
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If you are thinking of one for a particular reason I wouldn't let it put you off, I haven't as yet let anyone try my boy I vet everyone thoroughly via email or phone and if the experience etc doesn't seem right to me I don't go any further I to dont want my horse ruined by putting just anyone on him so until I feel someone's experience etc is right I won't allow anyone to try him. You will get a feel pretty soon if people are just wanting a free ride and can dismiss these applicants pretty quickly :)
 
I have someone to ride my big cob. She pays me nothing. Hes a bombproof safe hack and a very nice person to be around generally. Shes quite novicey having had a break from riding and now has lessons at a riding school. I dont ask for any money as shes doing me a favour riding him when I cant/dont want to. Shes fab! Treats him better than I do and always checks with me before she does something. I also have 2 teenagers who ride my little cob. Again, no money changes hands.

I do mornings and when they ride they do evenings. The teenagers I keep a very close eye on, but my older lady is completely trustworthy. My OH is starting to get a bit annoyed as they are going to come in for winter shortly and I will be forking out £400 a month for 2 horses and only ride one of them 2 or 3 times a week. Hes particularly annoyed because when I tried to find something to share I couldnt and had to buy a second horse,as I'm too heavy for the smaller cob. I'm still maintaining that they are doing me a favour, but I might feel less that way inclined in Jan time, especially towards the people who have full use of the little cob with no contribution at all.

Good sharers are soo hard to find though!
 
Antw23uk said:
Preloved, horsemart and FB so far. Im confident there is someone out there because he is such a great horse and ticks so many boxes so I know im not asking for the impossible share and ive seen some right meat market unhinged types advertised for a share and my boy leaves them in the shade.

Onwards and upwards ..... seems to be my mantra for everything right now!!
Click to expand...

Why don't you put adverts i local tack shops? You are close to me if I remember so denes or RBs would be a good place to start.
 
There are quite a few sharers on our yard and people tend to advertise in the local corner shops and supermarkets and the sharers are often week day people who are stay at home mums or they are lovely teenagers supervised by their parents.

However they don't need to do any stable chores and the share days are very flexible so if they can't come or want to do an alternative it does not matter which I think makes a lot of difference.
 
OP, I could've written your post myself!

So frustrating. I've had no responses - I have contacted one girl who had a 'horse wanted' post. Sent her a mail through the website asking if she was still looking. She replied saying yes, so I sent her some info on B and a few pics. Then she replied a couple of days later saying she's sorry but she's about to start her A-levels so doesn't think she'll have the time for a share..? Why say you're still looking when you're really not or if it's because you don't like the sound of the horse just say!

Mine is even in prime location - anyone looking in Bromley!? lol
 
I find the most irritating part when someone contacts you, you reply asking for a bit of info on their previous experience, not being rude just trying to establish some background info as after all they are a stranger and so as not to waste anyones time if they are unsuitable and they instantly ignore you after that. What do people expect that you will just let every single person who answers the ad come and ride your horse with out knowing anything about what they can do beforehand? haha
 
OP, you and your horse sound lovely. I'm sorry you are finding it hard to find a sharer.

I'm a sharer. Not an amazing rider, but competent and confident, and have owned horses in the past. It surprises me a little, but each time I've looked for a share I've been snapped up. Owners have even tried to poach me! I think there are generally more horses who need a capable sharer than there are competent sharers to go around.

I realise that isn't very constructive. But perhaps consider that you might be advertising to a small pool of people who have their pick of the horses available, rather than the other way around. If you really need a sharer then maybe think carefully about what you can offer and where you can be flexible, and make sure you include those things in your advert.

Hopefully that makes sense and doesn't come over as arrogant. Being allowed to ride someone else's horse is a privilege and I am very lucky to have had a couple of fantastic shares.
 
Antw23uk said:
Little rant warning but also any advice would be very much appreciated.

I'm looking for a sharer, 2 possibly three days a week (happy to include one weekend day) for my 16.1 8yr old bundle of awesomeness ID allrounder kept on a fantastic yard. They don't have to be an amazing rider but please know which end is the head and which is the arss!

So far I've had one girl who said she could ride (granted better than she could muck out!!) and with appalling communication who I just couldn't trust ... she has now gone, thankfully.

One numpty wanting to know if our yard did lessons for her brat whilst I walked her round on my horse on a leadrope (answer was a no to both funnily enough)

One person who kept sending me messages until it got to the point she was then telling me she was looking for her and her friend and they could do five days a week (hell no am I letting you turn up and my horse to disappear into the sunset!)

A couple of people asking and then not replying when I've tried to explain in more detail what I'm looking for BEFORE potentially wasting both our time meeting up and finding another numpty on my pride and joys back!

I think perhaps I'm coming across as too precious or bossy but really at the end of the day I cannot believe I'm still looking for a sharer for an amazing horse. I'm asking a contribution of £25 per week which seems to be the going rate and someone who wants to hack out, maybe play around in the school and if capable jump him.

Am I asking too much? :( Anyone who got this far I really appreciate it x

And for good measure here is the handsome chap on offer :)

IMG_2803_zps789af139.jpg
Click to expand...
I have had sharers with my lovely boy for many years and I have two words of advice to offer - References and Contract

REFERENCES - at least two, preferably in writing - from a riding instructor who has taught the candidate for some time as to competence and reliability and a character reference from an employer or if the candidate is still at school (for me this would be a definite no-no) from his/her Head of Year or Head Teacher regarding, again, reliability, honesty, etc.. If the candidate had been involved with Guides or Scouts I would accept a character reference from the Guider or Scout leader.

Secondly, follow up the references. You'd be surprised how many apparently honest people will forge their own references!

CONTRACT - You can get a copy of the basic contract off the BHS website. Add anything that you think is important to you however nit-picking you think it sounds. Remember, you are in charge here and your horse is a valued friend and worth quite a lot financially. I add things about which vet, farrier, dentist must be used and in what circumstances such as if you can't be contacted, what work s/he has to do such as tack cleaning, grooming details, deep litter or full muck out daily, etc.,) also that feed, bedding, tack, etc., must not be changed without consultation and agreement with you, length of notice to quit on both sides with a proviso that you reserve the right to give him/her "the sack" without notice if any breach of the contract agreement occurs, what financial contribution you require, where s/he is permitted to ride and if she is allowed to ride on the road what sort of high-viz must be worn. You might also want to insist that your sharer either already has the Riding Road Safety Certificate or that s/he is prepared to take it within a fixed period after commencement of the loan and BEFORE s/he is allowed to ride on the road. (In either case insist that s/he shows the certificate to you and keep a copy in the contract!). I also include a clause covering any over-night removal from the yard (eg going to a show, doing a long-distance ride, etc., etc.,) The sharer must have my written permission. It's important to add a clause saying that the arrangement is a loan only and there is no intention to pass ownership of the horse or any equipment to the possession of the sharer.

I'm sure you'll have other things you want to include. It doesn't matter how obscure your demands are and how unlikely events are, put them in there - it will pay off.

Give the sharer a copy of the contract and keep one yourself. Both copies should be signed in front of witnesses who are not related to either of you and the witnesses should sign the documents too. This means you have a legally enforceable document in case of any aggravation!

MISCELLANEOUS - When working out how much to charge remember that if you make a profit you are effectively running a business and are liable for tax so I find it better to work it on the principle that the sharer pays the stable rent or the farrier or the feed bill or something like that and pays for any livery she has to book with the YM and staff.

Don't be afraid to "drop in" at the yard when s/he is there without prior notice - it will keep her mind on the game and you'll soon find out if she's looking after you boy properly.

Give your regular vet a letter giving him/her permission to take instruction from the sharer in an emergency if you can't be contacted and how far the treatment is to go without your permission (eg what happens if emergency euthanasia is required). Give the sharer a copy and place a copy in the contract. It's worth giving a similar letter to the YM.

When the candidate comes for an interview start from scratch. Have him/her groom, tack up and ride while you watch. If in doubt arrange a lesson with a qualified instructor while you watch (it's reasonable for you to expect to pay for this) Don't just watch him/or her riding - watch how the horse behaves. A very experienced lady at the yard I use, who had had another horse on loan there, tried my horse with a view to part loan. It was clear from the beginning that he didn't like her. She tried him on two consecutive days and he was horrible to her - he wasn't dangerous, he just did the opposite of everything she asked for. You are both on a hiding to nothing if the horse doesn't like the sharer! If the rider seems anxious or nervous, go way to where you can watch but the rider can't see you - you can learn a lot about a person that way.

I know you may find this a bit high-powered buy this is your horse we're talking about and nothing is too good for him. Any serious horse-lover will understand this and won't mind your strictures.

And talking about idiots - I once had an enquiry to an advert for a sharer for my 16.2hh ex-hunter from a woman who asked if he would be suitable for her son who was six (yes, 6) years old and had been having lessons for 3 months!!!!! Don't worry, write it down to experience, dine out on the stories for years and write a book - you'll find the right person if you persevere.
 
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Why is it pretentious to want the best for your horse? In any case, as an owner who has had sharers for many years, I didn't think the OP sounded in the least bit pretentious or "stuck up".
 
Ellen Durow said:
Why is it pretentious to want the best for your horse? In any case, as an owner who has had sharers for many years, I didn't think the OP sounded in the least bit pretentious or "stuck up".
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i completley agree with this i think as an owner you have every right to be very careful who you allow to take on your horse on a part loan basis. To potential loaners it might be just a horse but to an owner they are very precious and it isnt at all pretentious or stuck up to vet people very carefully in order to find the right person.

ETA- OP i cant understand at all how you havent been inundated with good applications for your horse he is pretty gorgeous and sounds fantastic IMO
 
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