Finding a suitable shaer ... Asking the impossible?

I've had a similar issue for a year or more with my lad. I'm based in Hampshire, and have THE most gorgeous cob boy, and either no one is interested in him, or I seem to get people who just aren't suitable for him - and to be honest, there's only been a couple of them turn up! His only downside is being on the smaller side (13.2hh) although he is a weight carrier, so he's totally suitable for adult riders. But they just don't seem to be out there! He is positively saintly, and a total love, I just don't get it!
 
varkie said:
I've had a similar issue for a year or more with my lad. I'm based in Hampshire, and have THE most gorgeous cob boy, and either no one is interested in him, or I seem to get people who just aren't suitable for him - and to be honest, there's only been a couple of them turn up! His only downside is being on the smaller side (13.2hh) although he is a weight carrier, so he's totally suitable for adult riders. But they just don't seem to be out there! He is positively saintly, and a total love, I just don't get it!
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Wrong area, although I'd probably feel a bit tall on a 13.2
 
Ellen Durow said:
Why is it pretentious to want the best for your horse? In any case, as an owner who has had sharers for many years, I didn't think the OP sounded in the least bit pretentious or "stuck up".
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"One numpty wanting to know if our yard did lessons for her brat" sounds rather pretentious and rude to me. OP will never find a sharer if people know s/he's just going to come on here and bitch about everyone s/he doesn't like.
 
Wiz201 said:
Wrong area, although I'd probably feel a bit tall on a 13.2
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I've heard this quite a bit. People up to 5'6" with long legs can ride my lad without looking the least bit big - and even beyond that he'd not struggle to carry - my 6' tall (admittedly slim) husband has ridden him - he's a HW cob type, so takes up quite a bit of leg and weight. I must fix my sig, so you can see him!
 
SpringArising, i'm sure that reply was deserved.
I've had it before when looking for a (full) loaner for a very good but slightly quirky 16hh dressage horse, one idiot asked if he would be suitable for her small, nervous 7yr old daughter who had only ridden riding school ponies for about 3 months to learn to ride on.
Not sure what pat of "16hh", or "Not a novice ride" or "talented but quirky" she didnt understand.

My current lad is 15.2hh and I'm in Hull if anyone knows of a good rider looking for a few days a week, lovely straight forwards lad who is out competing in hunter classes, does a decent affiliated prelim/novice dressage test (working higher at home), hacks out like a star and loves cuddles, he realy is anybodys ride but I WILL be picky about who rides him as it would be far far too easy to take advantage of his lovely nature!

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SpringArising said:
It doesn't matter if the horse is nice, if the owner is pretentious and comes across as stuck up no one will want to share.
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I spoke to Antw23uk on the phone yesterday and he came across as very friendly and approachable. Sometimes things just don't come across the way they're intended to, when they're written :)

Ellen Durow said:
Why is it pretentious to want the best for your horse? In any case, as an owner who has had sharers for many years, I didn't think the OP sounded in the least bit pretentious or "stuck up".
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I'm quite precious about my animals and their welfare, and I fully understand when someone else is too. Even if it turns out that the share doesn't go ahead (I'm hoping to see this horse with a view to sharing him), I'd still back up Antw23uk in being careful about who rides his horse. ...far better than an owner who doesn't care/mind - as I know from (painful!) personal experience.
 
OP please move to Colchester, he's just the type I'm looking for!

I've found it really hard to find a share close to me that ticks all of the right boxes. They all seem to be in the Essex/London border area, or the horse/share arrangement isn't quite what I'm looking for (e.g. horse a little on the big side for me). I always see horses I like the look of...then find they're miles away from me!
 
I am in North London and have given up looking for a share! Your boy sounds perfect!

There seem to be quite a few horses around here to share, but I don't really want to pay through the nose to basically back and bring on someone else's horse, even though I do enjoy bringing on green horses! Neither do I want to pay exactly half of everything when they are on expensive full livery etc (£200++ a month for some shares I have seen).

I finally did get a good share but the YO was hell bent on getting me off the yard as I was a "stranger". The poor owner just couldn't stand up to her, and I was not going to get involved in their politics. Can't seem to find a decent share arrangement now so have given up for a while :(

Good luck OP I am sure you will find a good sharer soon!
 
SpringArising said:
"One numpty wanting to know if our yard did lessons for her brat" sounds rather pretentious and rude to me. OP will never find a sharer if people know s/he's just going to come on here and bitch about everyone s/he doesn't like.
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I'm guessing your the numpty who messaged me? Otherwise I'm not sure why you are having a pop! I can express myself without resorting to 'bitching' sweetheart so grow up!

Lunchbox legend said:
I spoke to Antw23uk on the phone yesterday and he came across as very friendly and approachable. Sometimes things just don't come across the way they're intended to, when they're written :)


I'm quite precious about my animals and their welfare, and I fully understand when someone else is too. Even if it turns out that the share doesn't go ahead (I'm hoping to see this horse with a view to sharing him), I'd still back up Antw23uk in being careful about who rides his horse. ...far better than an owner who doesn't care/mind - as I know from (painful!) personal experience.
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I'm looking forward to meeting you Lunchbox Legend and thanks for the vote of confidence :) x
 
I found the best place with most response for a sharer is equine adverts. I've had a lot of response but I'm not asking for money as I figure they are doing me a massive favour keeping my boy fit and helping with his care. Plus then I can be more fussy on who I have for him
 
SpringArising said:
"One numpty wanting to know if our yard did lessons for her brat" sounds rather pretentious and rude to me. OP will never find a sharer if people know s/he's just going to come on here and bitch about everyone s/he doesn't like.
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I have to say, I never thought asking if there are lessons on the yard was a bad thing? One of the main things I asked when looking for a share was if there was a qualified riding instructor on site/or nearby that you can use for lessons OR if you can bring your own.

Turned out with my share (now 1.5 years later and going strong) there was a Grand Prix dressage instructor who frequently came down to give lessons as she was good friends with the YO.

I would say a share asking if they can have lessons is a good thing IMO.
 
gembear said:
I have to say, I never thought asking if there are lessons on the yard was a bad thing? One of the main things I asked when looking for a share was if there was a qualified riding instructor on site/or nearby that you can use for lessons OR if you can bring your own.

Turned out with my share (now 1.5 years later and going strong) there was a Grand Prix dressage instructor who frequently came down to give lessons as she was good friends with the YO.

I would say a share asking if they can have lessons is a good thing IMO.
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I agree, you never stop learning
 
gembear said:
I have to say, I never thought asking if there are lessons on the yard was a bad thing? One of the main things I asked when looking for a share was if there was a qualified riding instructor on site/or nearby that you can use for lessons OR if you can bring your own.

Turned out with my share (now 1.5 years later and going strong) there was a Grand Prix dressage instructor who frequently came down to give lessons as she was good friends with the YO.

I would say a share asking if they can have lessons is a good thing IMO.
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I agree and I would encourage a sharer to have lessons. Pretty much all of us at the yard have regular lessons, especially me, I am loving my weekly dressage lessons. This lady, who I half heartedly knew who had chosen to ignore me until she knew I had a horse, was far from suitable and wanted to know if our yard did lessons for her child whilst I led her round on my horse on a lead rope! which is so far from what my advert is asking for and it was the pure cheek of it that annoyed me! I'm at a lovely yard with great people and the last thing I would want is some women who had vaguely looked at a horse in the last thirty years and her child hanging round the yard.

To be honest this whole thing has put me off even looking for a sharer now so I will be removing my adverts. I wish I had never started :(
 
Antw23uk said:
I agree and I would encourage a sharer to have lessons. Pretty much all of us at the yard have regular lessons, especially me, I am loving my weekly dressage lessons. This lady, who I half heartedly knew who had chosen to ignore me until she knew I had a horse, was far from suitable and wanted to know if our yard did lessons for her child whilst I led her round on my horse on a lead rope! which is so far from what my advert is asking for and it was the pure cheek of it that annoyed me! I'm at a lovely yard with great people and the last thing I would want is some women who had vaguely looked at a horse in the last thirty years and her child hanging round the yard.

To be honest this whole thing has put me off even looking for a sharer now so I will be removing my adverts. I wish I had never started :(
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Ahh i'm with you now. I clearly didn't read the thread properly.

I know it can be disheartening, but don't give up. Like others have said, it can take time to find the right person - kind of like finding the right partner (ha). When you're least expecting it, someone perfect will appear.

You just have to be patient and you'll get better at weeding out the weirdo's quickly.
 
Antw23uk said:
[...]
To be honest this whole thing has put me off even looking for a sharer now so I will be removing my adverts. I wish I had never started :(
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I've not been online much in the last few days so excuse my delayed comment. In case anyone reads this and thinks that Anthony finally came to this conclusion after meeting me - it's not the case. He sent me a nice, polite text cancelling our meeting.

...just wanted to make that clear as I'm in the process of looking for a new share horse and didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea :)
 
Lunchbox legend said:
I've not been online much in the last few days so excuse my delayed comment. In case anyone reads this and thinks that Anthony finally came to this conclusion after meeting me - it's not the case. He sent me a nice, polite text cancelling our meeting.

...just wanted to make that clear as I'm in the process of looking for a new share horse and didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea :)
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Oh god no seriously nothing to do with lunchbox legend, lol. Sorry didn't even enter my head to think it might read badly on you :) Best of luck with your search x
 
Antw23uk said:
To be honest this whole thing has put me off even looking for a sharer now so I will be removing my adverts. I wish I had never started :(
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Don't be so downhearted. It can take a while because there are so many things which have to match up: you and sharer have to get on, to some extent at least; sharer and horse have to match, sharer's riding skill has to be of acceptable level to you; sharer's stable management skill levels have to be of accepatable level to you...etcetc...and all this within a fairly small radius.

Most of us potential sharers (I was one) are well aware of this and happy to accept a 'no, sorry, you're not quite what I'm looking for'. It's nice to get a reason, perhaps, too. There were people who just didn't even bother getting back to me, and there were some who didn't bother with a reply to say no (after an initial email reply asking me to write out my life story, by email), but did change their advert straightaway to clearly exclude people like me. If someone is open and upfront about their lack of stable management practical experience, and also says they don't mind if that's not what someone is looking for, surely it doesn't hurt to send a polite reply? Ditto if someone has very unrealistic expectations - a polite no still doesn't hurt. Although I can imagine it must get very exasperating if all you get is an endless stream of people who want cheap riding lessons/childcare for their children...full sympathy there..

Do be clear about what you want and what you are prepared to do. Do you want someone to be able to school your horse? How flexible are you about days/times? Are you happy to spend time initially in order to 'mentor' to some extent, e.g. stable management training? You will have to spend time initially to some extent anyway, just to show people how *you* do things and to iron out any creases + monitor all's going well, and that this person is someone who turns up when they say they will. There are so many different levels of understanding about what riding skill levels mean that you will have to see them ride. Equally 'not a novice ride' can mean many different things - potential sharers are not mind readers either.

If you have the time to do the weeding out, I would say don't exclude too many people. More than a few young teenagers are really mature and reliable. It doesn't take long to teach someone to muck out either, and just think of the benefits ;) This forum can be a bit full of the negative stories.

Apologies for the essay! I know you probably know all of this, but wanted to give you the sharer's perspective just in case.
 
I am a sharer, but understand where you are coming from.
I have found it really difficult to find a horse who is healthy and well looked after to share, I don't think that's asking much. I have gone to see/try numerous horses where the owner hasn't been honest at all. (one of these owners is still advertising their horses on a weekly basis since I went to try them - 18 months ago). I found it difficult as I am very limited with time due to work, and have found that there aren't many people who can/would be happy to have flexible weekend sharers only (understandable).
If I had my own I imagine that I would be incredibly precious and picky in looking for a potential sharer.

I don't think putting too much information would put the right person off, like you say it will reduce the chance of wasting your and their time if you aren't what eachother is looking for. Whenever I have contacted someone about sharing I have always put loads of information about my experience, my situation, what I am willing to do etc, and have felt like I have put too much info a lot of the time.

When I first went to try my current share I was basically introduced to the horse and left to my own devices (with the owner close by) - they told me afterwards that it was like a test. You need to find someone who you will be able to trust and knows what they are doing so maybe that is a good way to start off (providing that you believe they are competent). Also makes sense if you are a little worried to ask them to have a lesson or a few at first. I wanted to use my previous dressage trainer for lessons at the yard where my share horse is kept, but the yard owner told me I could only have lessons by them (unqualified, inexperienced at teaching and… don't share my 'style' of riding)!!

I think £25 is reasonable for 3 days per week, I pay £20 per week (even weeks where I can only make 1 day!) and do all stable duties on my days. I don't have the perfect share situation, current owner has also been dishonest, there are lots of things I would change about my arrangement if I could but it's not something I can do and I have fallen in love with the horse and count myself lucky that people are willing to share their horses as I couldn't afford one of my own.
I don't have a contract with the current owner but this wouldn't put me off sharing at all, and I would understand why any owner would want one.

I also think the yard (friendlyness!) and facilites might influence a potential sharers decision. The right person won't be put off it might just take a while to find them, you could end up finding someone perfect who really appreciates you giving the opportunity to share your horse, don't give up.

Good luck, he looks lovely! (sorry for the long message!)
 
Lunchbox legend is Haddenham too far out in your search? a friend has just put one of her horses up for share on the Oxford and surrounding areas equestrian facebook site £20 a week unlimited riding no chores
 
PaddyMonty said:
Finding a suitable horse to share can be just as frustrating. Think I might take up hill walking. Hills are quite easy to find.
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I've given up looking, I'll stick to my RDA carriage driving and hopefully the new chunky pony we got earlier may be okay to ride once we get his saddle sorted out.
 
loopy3585 said:
Lunchbox legend is Haddenham too far out in your search? a friend has just put one of her horses up for share on the Oxford and surrounding areas equestrian facebook site £20 a week unlimited riding no chores
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Ooh, thank you, that might work. I've looked up a few pages on FB but can't find it. Could you add here or pm me a link, please? I did find an Oxford areas page that was in New Zealand though. ...decided that was just a tad too far in the dark winter evenings :p
 
Hi Sorry my internet at home was playing up but done some googling and found this Oxfordshire Equestrian for sale and wanted thats the name of the group i'm sure it is
 
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