Follow on from 'are horses delaying you starting a family'

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Sandylou

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Has anyone taken the plunge yet?
I've just found out that a 2nd person on our yard is pregnant and there's only 4 of us!!! The other person that's not pregnant already has a 3yo daughter so I'm the odd one out and I'm the oldest!!
I think life might be trying to tell me something?!
 
Nope - remaining plunge free here!

Though I must admit that as most of my close friends and family get to the age where theirs start thinking about school for theirs that I have found that I'm not so repelled by the idea! All those tiring years of putting food in one end and clearing up poo coming out the other have resulted in pleasant little people who are lovely to be around, and show all the signs of growing up into interesting larger people!

Who knows - stranger things have happened (although def am not tempted for another year or so, after that I think I had better pull my finger out otherwise I might find myself without a choice.)
 
ME!!!! I am 22 weeks preggers with my first baby... scary!
All I have ever wanted most is a horse, so that came first. But unavoidably the biological clock was ticking, and at 33 I am not getting any younger... Horse came at 30, and my intention was to have around 2 years with him and then think about a family, and sell him on once a baby was on the cards. My career as a teacher had prevented me from having children to that point - I had to relocate to be with OH hence find a new job, then we had ofsted, then I had to survive a redundancy...All with horse in tow.
It was very strange though because I wasn't ready for kids in my head, but we got engaged and decided to 'see what happens' - glad we did because it took 18 months to get pregnant. By that point horse and I were well established, bonded and settled. You have no idea how strong hormones/emotions get when pregnant! We had the 'shall we sell horse' discussion - cue me turning into a complete wreck at the thought of parting with my gorgeous boy. Husband agreed the horse can stay. I can't bear the thought of getting rid of any of our animals!
So I have found a nice girl to loan horse from his yard and I can still see him whenever I like, and I only stopped riding 3 weeks ago due to back pain!
I don't know how I will feel about horse once baby comes but I am taking things as they come. Hopefully I can keep my horse, as he is kind and steady and will be fine with a toddler (and pony :) ) around, but who knows?
 
My youngster is kinda delaying the baby thing for me.. Although maybe that's just my excuse!

There's so much I want to be doing with him, backing him next year and then everything leading on from that, that I don't want to be thinking of a baby right now, even though everyone at work at friends seems to think I should be! Now me and OH are engaged and have a mortgage apparently it's compulsory to get knocked up... If one more person says something like "aren't you pregnant yet?" I'll scream!!!
 
Very interesting! I am a newly wed and have just brought my first horse at the grand age of 27!! My parents are pretty upset i purchased a horse and im we're not trying for a baby. But it is something i have always wanted and can finally afford.

I intend to have a couple of years of fun with my boy and then have a family. Hopefully i can find someone to loan him when we eventually do have a family and keep him as he is a little diamond and i couldnt bare to part with him!
 
I'm 37, just relocated to North Yorks with partner who trains racehorses, there is only the 2 of us doing the horses so can't afford to get pregnant! Plus want to start eventing my horse again next year after he did a tendon this year..... I am leaving it soooooo late so fate may decide for me.... Having said that I can't really hear a tick tock, tick tock either.

ETA - If I did get pregnant at least it would be a way of meeting people :o)
 
if you can't hear the clock ticking avoid it at all possible costs!!! I had a baby when I was 27 at the age of 29 I was single mum (not saying that's going to happen to you, but I didn't think it would happen to me) and now at the age of 32 have just got my horsey life back!! Think very carefully juggling kids and horses is not easy no matter how much of a back up network you have!!! When I had my daughter my horse was at a yard when I had to walk across two other fields to get to her - this was okay when I was on my own, even when she was a tiny baby, even when I could put her in a backpack when she started toddling, I moved yards and finding a yard that is child friendly is a nightmare!!!! If you have a horse enjoy it to the max and make sure you have absolutely nothing left you want to do with it. Luckily my girly was very old and didn't mind being a happy hacker however, if I had my new boy I would probably have sold him as he would just have been wasted!!!
 
mahorse said:
I'm 37, just relocated to North Yorks with partner who trains racehorses, there is only the 2 of us doing the horses so can't afford to get pregnant! I am leaving it soooooo late so fate may decide for me.... Having said that I can't really hear a tick tock, tick tock either.

ETA - If I did get pregnant at least it would be a way of meeting people :o)
Click to expand...

THIS/\ all of this/\
So much this!!!! :o
 
mahorse said:
I'm 37, just relocated to North Yorks with partner who trains racehorses, there is only the 2 of us doing the horses so can't afford to get pregnant! Plus want to start eventing my horse again next year after he did a tendon this year..... I am leaving it soooooo late so fate may decide for me.... Having said that I can't really hear a tick tock, tick tock either.

ETA - If I did get pregnant at least it would be a way of meeting people :o)
Click to expand...

We're hopefully having a yorkshire meet up in a few weeks if you're free? I'll pm you if you miss the post if you want? :)

I'm 30, just married - sadly plans with horse are going nowhere for a year due to PSD - but I definitely want a couple more active kid free holidays yet - so nothing planned for me :D
 
I've been told by OH (who is pretty keen to have kids) that we can't afford to have horses and kids - if I want kids the horses have to go :( I see his point but I've had Mouse since he was 6 months and he's not going anywhere. I'm 28 now and think kids would be nice soonish so I have a slight issue!!
 
I know kids aren't free to look after, but I also don't think they need to cost the earth, I'm sure you could make cutbacks somewhere else so you can have kids and horses. I have no intention of losing my horse - the OH has only been around a little longer than him ;)
 
This is what I though Stencilface! I have already moved jazz from full livery to private yard (and brought mouse over) so have reduced livery from £600 a month to £180 a month, although I've spent loads on fencing, buildings, tools etc so not saving at the mo :o but I will do!
 
Yes defo for me! Hubby and I aren't child people at all at the moment (I'm almost 27 he's almost 30) and defo couldn't afford horses and kids!

There are so many horsey things I want to do that will take a long time, like event at novice level, that you just can't do very easily if you have kids!

If we do have children I don't want to resent them for me not being able to follow my dreams! And also don't want to be one of those horrid mothers that makes their kid do the horsey things they didn't - whether they like it or not!

I'm hoping I have got the eventing bug out of my system in say 10 years when I'm 37, and also hope that I feel broody, coz I definitely don't now!
 
My bf would kill me if he knew i was replying to this! Im 23, but we have been together 3 years, and think I am probably too young yet, so we're being careful! But I defo want kids one day, I get broody now occasionally! I have two horses and starting a full time job next year and am a budding dressage competitor, so think the question is whether I will have the time! But yeah, I can't wait to have kids :D
 
Defo for me too! I'm 29, 30 in Feb, my OH is 36. We couldn't afford our horses and kids, so its either kids or horses, luckily my OH is horsey as well!:)
 
Wanting to start a family is delaying my having horses!!! :eek:

I lost my mare this year (only two months ago) and ever since, my bank balance has been breathing a sign of relief - though four days before Maiden "left us", I got engaged. We're madly trying to budget and save for a wedding, then I need to replace my old beast of a fuel-drinker car with a smaller, slimmer, lightweight version with less of a thirst, then we need to try to move house so we can think about adding a little one to the household! Horses are below that, unfortunately, however desperately I would LOVE to have my own again.

However, I am lucky in that my mum now owns a pony she won't be able to ride but I will, so next year I have the ride on her, plus I have four to ride each week until pony can come back into work (one of which I'm paid to do, much to my delight!) so I'm not exactly horseless. I don't know how long all that will last, but I'm hoping I'll have the pony a couple of years at least.

So those are my long-term plans... I may have my own horse in what, about ten years? :rolleyes:

I'm 24, in case that matters. I have my whole life ahead of me to be a slave to horses - but I do want a child before I'm 30, really. As does my fiance :)
 
Stencilface said:
We're hopefully having a yorkshire meet up in a few weeks if you're free? I'll pm you if you miss the post if you want? :)

I'm 30, just married - sadly plans with horse are going nowhere for a year due to PSD - but I definitely want a couple more active kid free holidays yet - so nothing planned for me :D
Click to expand...

Yes please Stencilface! Please PM me!
 
I am 23 & have a 13month old daughter & with 4 horses. She wasn't planned as I didn't intend to have children anytime soon, but I love being a mummy, but its also nice to go to the horses for a break. I am lucky as my mum is horsey & has her cob, we also have a sharer that rides my hafligner & also my mums cob when she can't ride. I am just lucky that my mum does the boys every morning & my dad is retired so he has my daughter every afternoon so I can go to the stables & ride etc. Although I won't be having anymore children anytime soon ;)
 
MMMMMMEEEEEEEE!!!! I'm 27, been married for about 18 months and am now 20 weeks pregnant with our first baby!!!! Yay!! I actually decided to take the plunge based on the thread - are horses making you delay a family!! A proper HHO baby!!! Eeeeeek xxxx
 
Congrats Aimeetb!!!! You must be due a couple of weeks after me!!! Have you had your 20 week scan yet?
We should start a HHO new mums group... I don't know how you do that tho...

I am finding horses are cheap compared to having a baby... especially when you consider you lose so much in earnings on mat leave. I have had to budget very carefully to make sure my horse won't go without.
 
Aimeetb - blimey you got to work quick as you said you would on the original thread! Congratulations :) x
Noblesteed - congratulations to you too x
I think I may take the plunge next year. I won't start trying now because I'm a bridesmaid in may and the dress is already bought so I need to fit in that! :)
I worry so much about the pony having to sit in a field looking pretty until I can get back on tho oh and I'm petrified of the whole giving birth thing too!
My OH has been told in no uncertain terms that the horse is going nowhere no matter how hard it gets!!
 
You'll be fine, it's not as hard as people make out having both. Not speaking from experience here but know a few laid back families with animals AND babies. It helps if you have your own land I guess...
 
i think if its something you are sure you want to do, dont put it off for horses. You never know how long it will take you to conceive or what might go wrong in the early stages. They are only little for a very short while and then by the time they are 3, already starting out at nursery. I know plenty of people who have babies/children and horses and manage both; yes it might mean your horse has to take a back seat for a while but it doesnt mean giving up altogether; unless you are a hardcore eventer I suppose, but even then , its not forever.
 
I'm already in my thirties and worry I'll be lonely in my 70's if I don't have one soon... is that selfish? Can't imagine my horse carrying me to the loo for a wee.... and I certainly don't want to end up in an NHS ward!!! :D:D:D:D
 
i've always had horses and always wanted kids, each time i got pregnant i would dread what would happen to my horses but i've been lucky in that my OH was helpful with them, once i had the kids i didn't actually find anything change, my kids have been brought up with the horses so don't know any different. if you have a supportive family near by it's even easier (i didn't), my OH would look after the kids while i went to have a ride or he would go to the yard and do the mucking out with the kids (baby in pushchair).

it can be as easy or as hard as you want it to be but it can be tiring if your baby is up all night every night!
 
This is the first time in my life I have ever considered it (I'm 27 in a few days) we are lucky in that we live on a farm, so horses can come home and possibly be loaned out. His parents live round the corner and mine not too far away, so it's definitely do-able.

But I'm a little selfish and want to be able to ride my horse all the way through it too :D
 
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