For those who have given up horses... advice

[yellowdun]

One of mine was recently pts so I understand how you feel. He wasn't an old horse but it was too distressing and the bad weather recently proved too much. I feel far less stressed now it has been done and I know he isn't suffering. In fact I feel more at peace than I expected. Ventapulmin was making him behave very strange, which was only adding to his misery. I had bloods done on mine and it showed he was allergic to pollens and grasses and that meant even feeding hay (wet) could start things off it if had most of the grasses or pollens in he was allergic too.

If you decide to carry on, have you tried your boy on inhalers using the equine spacer which goes over their noses? Mine wouldn't accept it, but for those that can they can be very effective and work out cheaper than supplements.

 

[niagaraduval]

Thanks so much for your kind words, it really helps. It's true I think I know the answer in my heart but I need reassurance for making that decision. I can't see myself owning another for a while, if ever again.

I'll wait it out until spring, hoping he doesn't have another attack.

 

[niagaraduval]

One of mine was recently pts so I understand how you feel. He wasn't an old horse but it was too distressing and the bad weather recently proved too much. I feel far less stressed now it has been done and I know he isn't suffering. In fact I feel more at peace than I expected. Ventapulmin was making him behave very strange, which was only adding to his misery. I had bloods done on mine and it showed he was allergic to pollens and grasses and that meant even feeding hay (wet) could start things off it if had most of the grasses or pollens in he was allergic too.

If you decide to carry on, have you tried your boy on inhalers using the equine spacer which goes over their noses? Mine wouldn't accept it, but for those that can they can be very effective and work out cheaper than supplements.

Hi,

Thanks for sharing your experience.

I have looked into inhalers, although very expensive to buy (seem to be around £500) I think it could work in the long run, however I don't think mine would accept it at all. With his neuro issues he can be sometimes un predictable, I can no longer put his fly mask on him for example as he flips out and goes crazy until he manages to rip it off (always had a flymask on for years and years without a problem), he also doesn't like being tied up anymore, so I stand with him untied, he doesn't move an inch and doesn't like putting his head in his bucket/manger. We now put all his food on the floor (not ideal I know).

I too have read about the hay itself even wet being the cause, this could possibly be it, but it doesn't happen when he is at grass ? Maybe it's the spores in the hay.

I can't buy haylege over here, I have looked and looked, people barely know what it is and why on earth I would want to feed it to a horse.

 

[JillA]

That sounds as though he has extreme sensitivity around his sinuses - have you had them drained at all?

 

[niagaraduval]

No, I've never had them drained, I have heard of it but my vet has never spoken to me about it.

Would that help ? How would I go about getting it done ?

Would he need to go to a clinic ?

 

[JillA]

It would be a GA operation - to drill a hole in the skull outside the sinus and flush them out (called trephining (sp?) so you would need to consider aftercare if he was done at home. I don't know if there is a keyhole option these days. Maybe you could get your vet to consult on it, I get the feeling they are less advanced in France but it might give him relief, long or short term It could be a bit of a gamble but from what you said about his sensitivity around his head it might well be worth it.
I never had a horse have it done but it was discussed in detail when I had a horse with infected sinuses years ago.

 

[shmoo]

I am so so sorry for you, I had to have my ex-racer pts in May. She became 'ill' in the previous November after extensive Bute trials, x-rays and a stay at the vets was diagnosed with incurable back issues. My list of do's and don't was long. Flat field, no mud, no stable, keep moving. She couldn't walk backwards and I was always in fear of her being cornered. It was never going to work. The second bad weather hit she picked a corner and waited to be fed, brought in and coddled. In the end we were on 4 Bute a day to be field sound. She was a super fine little TB...that alone was going to kill her eventually. One Friday evening I watched her struggle to have a wee, for nearly twenty minutes as she could no longer stretch her back legs out. The next day I called the vet. A lot of people would say I should have done it then but selfishly I needed that night to prepare myself. It was absolutely one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I knew this was coming. I knew from the angle of my vets head and the look in his eye as he came out from her exam at the surgery but I never could have picked a day in the future and said here we go. She told me. She stood with her head on my shoulder while her friends hooned around and told me how tired she was.

I think if you have a chat with your boy and really listen to him next time he has a bought he may well tell you the same thing.

Terribly horribly painful as the doubt and grief collide and you take yourself back to the moment you're asked the question and say 'yes, I do want my horse put to sleep' and you have to make what feel like so many choices and it all seems to happen so fast. But no one on here, well I would seriously hope no one on here would ever ever criticise your decision as you are the one living with it, not us.

Personally I think it would be the right thing for you both. As op said winter is really only just beginning. I think you've proved you mettle and have already gone beyond with everything you have already done.

 

[shmoo]

Oh bother, in floods again now. X

 

[JillA]

http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/horse-care/vet-advice/dealing-with-sinus-problems/ - there is lots more if you google equine sinus

 

[PolarSkye]

Oh you poor love this is heartbreaking to read. Your love for him shines through. You have turned yourself inside out for your beautiful friend. Sadly he's not getting any better. Let him go darling, there's nothing more you can do for him but this one final kindness release him from suffering. Don't make him go though winter, cold air can cause discomfort and coughing. I know it's hard and it hurts but seeing him coughing his poor lungs up on a daily basis has to be distressing too. Big hugs Sweetheart'

This. You have done everything you possibly can for your beautiful boy - no wonder you are stressed, exhausted and at the end of your rope. You will NOT be doing him a disservice by letting him go . . . it is patently clear to anyone with eyes that you love the bones of him and having him PTS now would be a final act of supreme kindness.

Also, you are not heartless or selfish for factoring in the financial implications of keeping him going either - he is chronically ill - he will never get better (I am sorry if that is hard for you to read), it's likely that he will deteriorate further . . . I don't envy you at all, but I think I would be calling time . . . and I, for one, won't be judging you if you decide to do just that.

P

 

[Polos Mum]

Better a month too early than a day too late.

Being very blunt to try and help, it sounds like you are waiting for him to have a nasty episode so you can justify PTS in your own mind. You need to be really big and let him go when he is just about OK not wait for him to suffer more. It's about him not you.

 

[Liz H]

I defy anyone reading this not to have a tear, you have done everything and more for your boy, he looks stunning. You know in your heart what path you will choose, it will be for both of you. Is he a happy boy at the moment? That's how I would prefer my own to go rather than in discomfort, and selfishly that's how I would like to remember them. Listen to your self and him, you will know what to do ( bit deep, but I hope you know what I mean) lots of hugs and praise for being so brave and caring. Take care x x

 

[jokadoka]

Hi,

Thanks for sharing your experience.

I have looked into inhalers, although very expensive to buy (seem to be around £500) I think it could work in the long run, however I don't think mine would accept it at all. With his neuro issues he can be sometimes un predictable, I can no longer put his fly mask on him for example as he flips out and goes crazy until he manages to rip it off (always had a flymask on for years and years without a problem), he also doesn't like being tied up anymore, so I stand with him untied, he doesn't move an inch and doesn't like putting his head in his bucket/manger. We now put all his food on the floor (not ideal I know).

I too have read about the hay itself even wet being the cause, this could possibly be it, but it doesn't happen when he is at grass ? Maybe it's the spores in the hay.

I can't buy haylege over here, I have looked and looked, people barely know what it is and why on earth I would want to feed it to a horse.

I'm assuming from your username that you are in France.

http://www.cgpackaging.fr/alimentation.html/

I have used the above people several times now. The haylage is wonderful and has cleared my old boy (23) from all his problems. I too am in France and have spent absolutely yonks trying to find it! I live in Alsace, if there is anything I can help you with please do ask. No idea where Picardie is I'm afraid....
Good luck XXX

 

[niagaraduval]

Evening all,

Thank you for your kind messages over the past few months.

I have made the heartbreaking decision to put an end to all the suffering and have my horse of a lifetime put to sleep in the spring when he goes back out to his field with his retired old friend.

He has been worse and worse and I can no longer justify trying to keep him alive.

He no longer recognises me and spends all his time gazing into the distance as if he is already in heaven.

Several close friends helped me make the decision, they know him almost as well as me.

I have arranged for a professional photographer to come and take some nice photos, and have sent off some tail for a bracelet.

I'm just trying to gear myself up for his passing.

I think I am going to have a break from horses for awhile, I may own another some day...

Adieu mon cheval...

 

[3OldPonies]

I couldn't read and run.

This thread is so heartbreaking, but I would just like to say OP that you have been incredibly brave through all of this, as has your poor horse, awful is not the word for what the pair of you have been through.

You are doing the right thing, and you must have some amazing memories of your horse, besides the bad times so remember those and forget the others. Take care of yourself while you grieve.

 

[Liz H]

My heart goes out to you. Take care x

 

[shmoo]

You are being so brave, my heart goes out to you. Hugs. Xx

 

[sunnyone]

Doing the right thing is so, so hard and being in France is not going to make it any easier. The vet may help you through what has to be done, but a bit of clear discussion and research ahead of time will make things smoother.
I know there are some vet surgeries to which you can take the live horse and leave the carcass for collection by the esquarisseur, they are rarely round the corner but almost departmentale.
If the horse is pts at home have you identified a suitable place for "lying in state", and a tarpaulin big enough to wrap the horse in? Same day pick up is unlikely and the lorry will not leave the roadside.
I am told that use of an Haras Nationaux esquarisseur will gain some type of a discount.
Regrettably I am not currently in France so cannot access all the stuff I have gathered together for when our time of need arises.
Please enjoy him for as long as you can, you will miss him for years to come.

 

[MDB]

So sorry to hear what you are going through.

It sounds to me that your horse isn't in good health and as well as financially struggling you are emotionally suffering too and are finding it difficult to cope, which is totally understandable.

I don't really have any advice for you but I hope you feel a little better writing things down and reading the many replies on here.

I am sure once you make a decision on what to do you will feel so much better because you will have taken control back in a situation where you felt out of control and with no direction.

I wish you the very best. Trust your instinct and gut feeling and whatever decision you make will be the right one.. for both of you.

 

[Sukistokes2]

Just want to say,,,thinking of you at this sad time.

 

[Ceriann]

It's such a hard and brave decision you are making. My old girl - who I loved (still love) to bits had to be pts last summer following a field accident. She was almost 22 and had shown some signs of age in the previous 12 months - though was still feisty and v much "my fuzzy". I often think now how I would have dealt with her deteriorating and hope I would have had the strength to make the right decision. You have done all you can for your boy and your pain is clear. Enjoy (as much as you can) the time you have left, treasure the memories - he is lucky to have you.

 

[snowstormII]

I had to make this exact decision with a horse a friend had gifted me, who was happy to leave the decision in my hands as long as I discussed his progress and when I had made the decision. I nursed him through winter, due to lami, I was on constant guard in case the frosted grass got him or if he was yarded was he breaking the fences down. I watched him like a hawk through Spring and summer and kept him on the lean side in a stable most of the time (at nearly 30 he knew all the tricks to get to grass!), gave him more and more pergolide as he got worse, then decided I would let this summer/autumn be his last so he could enjoy the sun on his back and grass in his belly for the last fortnight, but not have to endure another horrid winter. A previous poster was right...having come to this conclusion, the next hard bit was deciding when to get in contact with the vet to tell her the bad news. She was actually immensely supportive. Then came the no-mans-land period, waiting for the day. I spent this time grieving, crying into his mane and taking photos of him looking rudely healthy. I knew however deep in my heart that the decision to PTS was me being pragmatic and strong and humane. The day came (beautiful sunny late autumn day) and although I cried a bit, I had done the majority of my grieving and I actually enjoyed being able to give him the biggest bowl of apples, carrots and polos just before the deed was done. I maintain that PTS is the last kindness you can offer a horse when you know in your heart the time is right. No-one can tell you when/if you need to do it as we are not in your situation. Do feel supported by us in whatever you decide to do though. Hugs.

 

[Nissi]

I don't often reply on here but I feel so very sorry for you. I was in a position nowhere near as difficult as you and I made the very hard decision. Horses are supposed to be fun, for most of us it is a hobby and a lifestyle to enjoy but all you seem to have is anxiety,expense and worry. I cannot advise you what to do but I will say after I made a big decision it was a massive weight off my shoulders. I got a little mare who loves life, is easy and reminded me what a joy our hobby really is. Tough tough situation and I wish you all the best.

 

[JLH85]

I know it's been a while since you posted this but I had a similar situation and had my horse PTS in jan this year. Making the decision was horrendous and the time between then and having the vet out was torture but deep down I knew it was the right thing to do. For the first couple of weeks i thought I would loan another horse and couldn't imagine not having one (obviously I missed my boy immensely) but now as time has passed I think I may take a long break from horses. I have been offered to share a horse and I think I am going to pass it up - like you I am buying a new house, busy with my career and I almost feel guilty giving up horses but I think I need it.

Don't feel guilty for any of your thoughts - you clearly love your horse and have done so much for him but maybe it's time for you to let go and live your life and decide what's best for you and in time the weight will lift from your shoulders.

I wish you all the best x