Forum survival questions

Ooh thank you to all those people who have suggested further pink accessories to me I might have to buy that pony to replace my palomino it will match them far better! I love those boots as well!

Unless of course I get one of those pink onesies for horses then it will be pink all over?!
 
ManBearPig said:
I've been mis-sold a horse! ... Nah, you just mis-bought it.
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This made me HOWL ^^^

A few of my favourates?

1) My horse is lazy, we only hack once a week for 10 minutes, the saddle has never been checked and flops around at the back, his teeth are fine because my friends friend who knew a guy from the pub who knew someone's 3rd cousin who is a horse dentist said so and the head flicking with his bit in means he needs to go bitless. what competition mix is best to get more energy?

Or the other way round:

2) My horse is hyper and keeps bucking me off. He gets fed 5 scoops of mollichaff with mollasses, 2 scoops of competition mix and 2 scoops of barley rings, 3 feeds a day. He also gets ad lib hayledge, is never turned out and I don't have an arena. He doesn't need turnout and his feed is perfectly balanced for his needs so how can I get him to calm down? He is ridden for 10 minutes once a week in walk/steady broncing fit (until he dumps me).

3) Is my saddle too long? (no pic posted)

4) MY YO IS A COW!!! (Actually, you will find that the livery in the situation is probably the one who is a cow)

Oh I could go on :D
 
- My insurance has gone up 500% and excludes everything; how is that fair? I only made one claim a month last year.

- Which hat/helmet should I get? I want to look bang up to date.

- I bought a pony for my kids off a bloke in the pub, its white, does it need to live in a field?
 
mandyroberts said:
I can't get my horse to do anything. He was highly trained by a professional when I got him, do you think I need lessons? My last horse was a 25 year old cob....
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No. Don't worry about lessons. Just spend more time bonding with it so that it understands what you want telepathically.
 
pansymouse said:
- My insurance has gone up 500% and excludes everything; how is that fair? I only made one claim a month last year.

- Which hat/helmet should I get? I want to look bang up to date.

- I bought a pony for my kids off a bloke in the pub, its white, does it need to live in a field?
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Don't you mean "I brought a pony for my kids" 😖
 
My horse failed a vetting because it looked off/had a leg missing/blind in one eye but has the most fantastic temperament/breeding/conformation and I only want to do advanced dressage/eventing so I really want it -what should I do?


Or bought a horse in Ireland and worried will be traumatized from the travelling as it’s sooo long and Irish drivers are simply awful.
Mate these horses are just that, horses and in general hardy (unless you get a wussblood, they faint at the slight of blood and/or mud, which is usually why owner is getting rid of it, sorry, I mean it is a heartbreaking sale). Irish transporters are not any different to English ones, good and bad. Just because your horse doesn’t immediately settle into the new yard, new routine, new horses etc. doesn’t mean it was traumatized being transported...
 
The Fuzzy Furry said:
Don't ask the following:

What rugs to use.... why, are there some new ones out now, perhaps made of spun silk?

What rugs others are using.... nothing - to 500g triple neck ones

What to feed...... How the heck would I know, I can't see your horse or how you ride it....

How to feed hay ..... everyone knows nets are terrible, hay should be soaked for 500 hours

What's the best absorbent, cheapest, fluffiest, biodegradable bedding.......... easy, that's err... aubio-strawy-card-pellety-chips-paper made by goblins and delivered on pallets, covered in pink wrapping paper

How to prevent mud in gateways..... should have done work in early summer shouldn't you?

What time we all visit yards to feed or bring in or turn out ...... now you are getting very nosey, does this really matter?



Any more of TOTALLY tongue in cheek questions or answers? :D
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Parelli...avoid.
 
Question:

"I'm a man, do I look OK in these breeches?"

There will then follow eleventy billion responses from HHO ladies asking for photos, whether he's single, does he own any land, how much does he earn, how do the breeches look when wet, what about from behind etc, and generally harassing the poor soul who will by now be wishing he'd stuck with tinder/POF etc to find a date.

(A significant proportion of the posts on this thread will be from JFTD and she will mention swiss roll)
 
My horse has just barged through his stable door, run me over, jumped on my head, bitten me, ripped the pockets off my favourite jeans, and struck out at me because I didn't give him treats fast enough. I don't want to smack him, in case he gets scared of me. Help
 
Auslander said:
My horse has just barged through his stable door, run me over, jumped on my head, bitten me, ripped the pockets off my favourite jeans, and struck out at me because I didn't give him treats fast enough. I don't want to smack him, in case he gets scared of me. Help
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Ha, Aus, we've seen the photo of your mud covered jodhs after you got splatted in the mud, so this is maybe not so far from the truth...:D!
 
Tiddlypom said:
Ha, Aus, we've seen the photo of your mud covered jodhs after you got splatted in the mud, so this is maybe not so far from the truth...:D!
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It's true. I am currently going through a bit of a rough patch with one of my lot. He thinks that he is the boss, and I am merely a lowly underling. I think that he is a cocky little arse, who needs to get back in his box pretty damn sharpish, before we fall out. Words have been exchanged...
 
Auslander said:
My horse has just barged through his stable door, run me over, jumped on my head, bitten me, ripped the pockets off my favourite jeans, and struck out at me because I didn't give him treats fast enough. I don't want to smack him, in case he gets scared of me. Help
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Don't wear your fav jeans to the yard in future.
 
my horse is 20 and lame what should i do?.....pts
My horse is 19 and lame.."...........................pts
my horse 18 and laminitic.............................pts
my horse is the wrong colour..........................pts
ive bought a horse.........................................pts
 
luckyoldme said:
my horse is 20 and lame what should i do?.....pts
My horse is 19 and lame.."...........................pts
my horse 18 and laminitic.............................pts
my horse is the wrong colour..........................pts
ive bought a horse.........................................pts
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Good advice (nods sagely...)
 
My horse can only stand on three legs, but he's not lame. I know he's not lame 'cos this is how he's always been since I got him twelve months ago and he came from a very nice man. In any case, I can't afford a vet, so should I get the Bowen lady or the Reiki man out first? No nastiness please 'cos I lerrrrve my pony! XXXXX
 
It's been a while since we have a communicator thread.

Or a someone sold me this amazing new sticker/magnet/ceramic fibre/electric pulse unit the other day.

I seem to see that much more elsewhere these days.

as well as the 'I found a tick on my horse' 'smother it in vaseline'...
 
Kat said:
Question:

"I'm a man, do I look OK in these breeches?"

There will then follow eleventy billion responses from HHO ladies asking for photos, whether he's single, does he own any land, how much does he earn, how do the breeches look when wet, what about from behind etc, and generally harassing the poor soul who will by now be wishing he'd stuck with tinder/POF etc to find a date.

(A significant proportion of the posts on this thread will be from JFTD and she will mention swiss roll)
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I don't limit myself to such obvious thread topics for that sort of behaviour ;) (Jesus, I've literally just harassed another user about his arse on another thread too :eek3: )

Anyway, you love me really...
 
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